Here are the playoff scenarios, brought to you by: Four Loko (Can and a half. Damn.)
First of all, I'm sorry for the lack of preview this week. I felt like the recap from Week 10 previewed Week 11 enough, and it also was an insane week. But, here we are. Week 11 is over.
Figuring out the Liberty Conference playoff scenario was like pre-college math. The Nittany Conference was like AP calculus. It should be a fun two weeks for that conference.
Liberty Conference
Jimmy Jammers (8-3), clinched division, conference, first round BYE.
Real Houserville (6-5), needs a win or a Fear loss to clinch division title
Fear and Loathing (5-6), needs two wins and two Houserville losses to win division; or Houserville loss to World of Noise and a win over Noise, because then Fear and Houserville would be tied in record, but Fear would be 3-1 in division and Ville would be 2-2.
Noise, Slackers, Jawz all eliminated.
Nittany Conference
Chinese Organ Thieves (8-3)
Playoff berth: Can clinch with win or Toasters loss.
Division: Can clinch this weekend with a win and a News Team loss; otherwise, it comes down to Week 13.
Conference, first round BYE: Win and T-money loss.
Channel 4 News Team (8-3)
Playoff berth: Can clinch with win or Toasters loss.
Division: Can clinched with two wins.
Conference: Can clinch with two wins.
T-Money (7-4)
Playoff berth: Can clinch with win over Toasters this weekend.
Division: Can clinch with win over Toasters this weekend.
Conference: Needs two wins, and have News Team lose this weekend and Organ Thieves lose this weekend and beat News Team in Week 13 because T-Money owns tie-breaker over Organ Thieves.
Dottsville Toasters (6-5)
Playoff berth and division title: Win over T-Money this weekend and match T-Money's performance in Week 13 because Toasters will own tie-breaker.
Conference: Not happening because Thieves and News Team will get at least one more win or tie in their matchup in Week 13.
Boyer (5-6)
Division/Playoff berth: Win over Jawz in Week 12, plus Toasters win over T-Money, plus T-Money, plus win over Toasters in Week 13, plus T-Money loss in Week 13. That would create a three-way tie at 7-6, and Boyer would be 3-1 in the division and Toasters and T-Money would both be 2-2.
Generals (4-7), eliminated. Sorry dude.
Real Houserville 159.7, Fear and Loathing 110.2
So while they were watching the Steelers rout the Raiders with Rashard Mendenhall scoring just 9.9 points, Greg Jennings was on a mission, scoring 36.6 points.
Unless they were on their smart phones, these two Steelers fans were oblivious to what was going on in their fantasy matchup.
And if they didn't know in the car ride home, Fear had to be shocked to see Peyton Manning add 40.5 points in the 4 o'clock hour.
Michael Vick scored only one-third of his Week 10 performance (21.9 points) later that night and Houserville was easily on his way to a huge win.
With the conference out of reach, this was just a tune up for Week 14. These two are guaranteed to face each other for a third time this season. That time, it will be for a trip to the conference championship game against the Jammers.
If Fear can get that far, it will be because Randy Moss steps up his game or Fear replaces him.
The good news is that it looks like Pierre Thomas is on the mend and should start this week. That will greatly help Fear because Moss has been a waste of space.
And it's a shame. He was a keeper, and deservedly so at the time of the decision, but what a waste in fantasy. He has scored a total of 3.8 points over his last three games. Even worse the Titans are running out of quarterbacks, and none of them are throwing to him anyway.
One has to wonder about the Titans decision to add him.
One won't wonder about Fear if he gives up on him.
Jammers 137.9, Toasters 126.7
Peyton Hillis for MVP?
It's plausible.
He's has yet to dip below double-digits. He's scored a touchdown in every week, but one. He scored another 21.5 fantasy points this weekend, one of seven fantasy players to scored double-digits for the Jammers.
Late edition BenJarvus Green-Ellis over a rather unproductive Jahvid Best (what happened to him?) was a clutch move, giving the Jammers 16.2 points instead of 2.5.
It's not like the Toasters slacked this weekend either.
Seven double-digit players, including a big 31.5 points from the Bears defense made this a close matchup, but the Jammers pulled away with a touchdown by Malcolm Floyd on Monday night.
Matt Schaub overcame a poor first half to make this matchup close, but it wasn't enough.
Still, 126.7 points for the Toasters, one of the League's top scoring teams, shows that over the final two weeks, nothing is solved. He can easily win two games and steal that last playoff spot, or if things fall into place, win the conference for the second straight year.
But focusing on the playoffs is more realistic.
But it could be a QB carousel. I could easily see Sam Bradford getting a start here in the near future. He led all three of the Toasters' QBs this weekend.
He has been really good and it's looking like he could be the Toasters QB of the future. I'm starting to think the future starts in Week 13 when Bradford plays the Cards.
Thieves 159.2, Generals 96.4
Joe Flacco, Terrell Owens, Braylon Edwards and Chris Cooley made this matchup interesting early.
But by the time LeSean McCoy broke free for his long TD against the Giants Sunday night, this matchup was over. The nail was driven in further when McCoy broke free for another long run later in the game, and dead horse was hit once more when Phillip Rivers scored 39.1 points Monday night.
For the Generals, 2010 comes down to this: injuries.
He rolled with Chester Taylor and Tim Hightower at running back this week. Trust me, that wasn't his plan in August when he scribbled on paper a draft game plan.
But DeAngelo Williams and C.J. Spiller were out — Williams is done for the season — Matthew Stafford hasn't been able to stay healthy, and Percy Harvin has gone through a stretch of injuries and Favre problems.
This has led his team to under perform greatly. And it's a shame because Flacco has so much potential and Terrell Owens has been a brilliant sleeper pick.
At this point, the season is over for the Generals, but the 2011 season begins. Some decisions are coming. Flacco may slide into a keeper slot and DeAngelo Williams may fall out. C.J. Spiller also has a chance to come back this week and prove his worth over the final couple weeks of the NFL season and show that he's a keeper.
The high-scoring Thieves are in a different mode. It's time to move on and prepare for the pending playoffs. He technically still could miss it, but I doubt it. We're talking about a team that score 159.2 this week and had another 125.3 points on the bench. The Thieves are stacked and ready. Ravens had 41 points, Steve Johnson had 33.3 and Josh Freeman had another 20. The first two will crack the lineup again for sure.
T-Money 117.2, Boyer 104.6
Boyer still has a chance of the playoffs, but a few mistakes this week have made it nearly impossible.
The first mistake was starting Jason Witten again at the TE/WR position. Since his best friend Tony Romo went out, he's scored just 11 points in three games. That's after he had 15 or more in three out of four games with Romo.
Maybe it's time to move on. It would have been enough to beat T-Money and set him up in great position to win the division. That and had he taken care of Ryan Mathews — the biggest fantasy bust ever — who did not play Monday night.
That was mistake No. 2. No points from Mathews equals no win for Matthew.
As for T-Money, he made all the right moves this week. Matt Hasselbeck has been a suitable replacement for the aforementioned hurt Tony Romo. He had 25.2 points this week, but the consistency still remains a concern for T-Money and he's in a situation where Week 12 is a (near) must-win week.
He rode Hasselbeck, Fred Jackson (25.5) and Dwayne Bowe (24.1) to the win this week. All three haven't established themselves as weekly scorers at this point, and this is why he has to worry when it comes to facing the Toasters. (More on that in the Special Turkey Day Preview!)
Still, he has seven wins and in the JFL, getting to seven is key. It means you have a winning record and it means you have a shot. He just needs one more this weekend to ensure a trip to the postseason again. He's quietly been one of the League's best franchises, except he's "Tony Dungy's Colts." They won in the season but fell short in the playoffs. Maybe, like Dungy did, he'll win before he retires. ... I hope T-Money doesn't retire. I enjoy his company. Still, maybe he can pull a Favre and say he's retiring, win the title and continue the Favre-thing and announce in August that he'll be in the draft room.
If that's his game plan, I'm fine with it. Just don't send me any text messages.
....
(I literally stopped typing and laughed out loud after writing that. I hope you all enjoyed it, too.)
News Team 146, Noise 109.7
The Dolphins experiment if officially over.
Maybe he should have gone with sharks with lasers beams because Chad Henne, Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams have been awful.
The RBs aren't in the top 30 in fantasy football and for Henne, let's put it this way — all three of the Toasters QBs (Schaub, Palmer and Bradford) are ranked higher.
So is David Garrard, who got the start this weekend after leading the Noise to two straight wins and giving him a small breathe of life in the playoff race. That was choked out this weekend by Aaron Rodgers (43.1 points) and Arian Foster (25.5).
Still the worst/best trade ever in fantasy history, the News Team has benefited from the services of Aaron Rodgers, getting another four TDs this week.
Let's follow that up with the best fantasy draft pick during the two-keeper era. Arian Foster is the No. 1 RB this season.
Let me say that again. ARIAN FOSTER is the No. 1 RB. Not Adrian Peterson. Not LeSean McCoy. It's Arian Foster.
He again led the News Team to victory this week, and it's why he's a top candidate for MVP.
Clearly Rodgers is amazing, but his performances are expected. If it weren't for the amazing double-digit performances of Foster (six 20-plus-point weeks), the News Team would be in Generals' World — missing the playoffs. Because Rodgers averages a 25.7 points per game, but comparing how much better he is to the competition to how much better Foster has been isn't even close. You can easily say that Phillip River, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning (and many more) have been just as productive as Rodgers. Other than Peterson and Hillis, it's hard to find a back that has been as productive as Foster.
So lift a beer or a Captain Morgan (oh year!) and salute the News Team for the best pick in the draft. He's been money and he may be worth some REDACTED when the MVP voting finishes in Week 16.
Jawz 165.4, Slackers 138.7
Well, the Jawz Attack moved into the top 10 in all-time single-game scoring performances. It's just a shame it came a few weeks too late.
The same could be said about Marques Colston, who doubled his touchdown total from 2 to 4 this weekend. It was a trade that didn't work out for the Attack. Sending QB Matt Ryan wasn't a problem other than one week. He's had great performances from Mark Sanchez and Ben Roethlisberger all season and hasn't missed Ryan.
He just hasn't seen the return at WR. But at least he can feel good about his QB situation. Big Ben scored 45 points this week and Sanchez had 36.7 on the bench.
The point total (165) is quite astonishing, but it's one that was expected more often this season. For the Attack to be 3-8, surprises me, but have no fear that my Uncle Jason will get this franchise going in 2011. He's already laid the footprint and he has several great keeper options and trade bait in the offseason.
To 2011. ... I just hope there is a 2011. The financial impacts I think will keep this from happening (TV contracts, NFL employees and TV personalities, stadium revenues and employees, new stadium taxes; not to mention the financial impact in the fantasy and gambling world). There's so much that will stop this from happening, so that means the Attack should get a chance to bounce back in 2011.
And he might get another game to win. If we go to an 18-game schedule, as the NFL is looking to do, I'm thinking we'll add one more week to the regular season and create a rivalry game. We'll decide out-of-division rivalries, a team that you will play twice-a-year no matter what. For example, I may play my brother twice a year just for the hell of it. These rivalry games will be decided in the offseason if we get to it.
I'm thinking we'll vote on rivals if there is close ties. Because I could also see myself being rival with Mr. Dawson. Or Mr. Dotterer. Because, quite frankly, as much as I can see my brother being my rival, I'm sure my Uncle, his Godfather, would be a better rival. Both Eagles fans. Both Michigan Wolverine fans. Both scare me with their karate (Jawz) and military tactical training (Noise).
... That decides it. Dawson it is. I'm not scared of him.
First of all, I'm sorry for the lack of preview this week. I felt like the recap from Week 10 previewed Week 11 enough, and it also was an insane week. But, here we are. Week 11 is over.
Figuring out the Liberty Conference playoff scenario was like pre-college math. The Nittany Conference was like AP calculus. It should be a fun two weeks for that conference.
Liberty Conference
Jimmy Jammers (8-3), clinched division, conference, first round BYE.
Real Houserville (6-5), needs a win or a Fear loss to clinch division title
Fear and Loathing (5-6), needs two wins and two Houserville losses to win division; or Houserville loss to World of Noise and a win over Noise, because then Fear and Houserville would be tied in record, but Fear would be 3-1 in division and Ville would be 2-2.
Noise, Slackers, Jawz all eliminated.
Nittany Conference
Chinese Organ Thieves (8-3)
Playoff berth: Can clinch with win or Toasters loss.
Division: Can clinch this weekend with a win and a News Team loss; otherwise, it comes down to Week 13.
Conference, first round BYE: Win and T-money loss.
Channel 4 News Team (8-3)
Playoff berth: Can clinch with win or Toasters loss.
Division: Can clinched with two wins.
Conference: Can clinch with two wins.
T-Money (7-4)
Playoff berth: Can clinch with win over Toasters this weekend.
Division: Can clinch with win over Toasters this weekend.
Conference: Needs two wins, and have News Team lose this weekend and Organ Thieves lose this weekend and beat News Team in Week 13 because T-Money owns tie-breaker over Organ Thieves.
Dottsville Toasters (6-5)
Playoff berth and division title: Win over T-Money this weekend and match T-Money's performance in Week 13 because Toasters will own tie-breaker.
Conference: Not happening because Thieves and News Team will get at least one more win or tie in their matchup in Week 13.
Boyer (5-6)
Division/Playoff berth: Win over Jawz in Week 12, plus Toasters win over T-Money, plus T-Money, plus win over Toasters in Week 13, plus T-Money loss in Week 13. That would create a three-way tie at 7-6, and Boyer would be 3-1 in the division and Toasters and T-Money would both be 2-2.
Generals (4-7), eliminated. Sorry dude.
Real Houserville 159.7, Fear and Loathing 110.2
So while they were watching the Steelers rout the Raiders with Rashard Mendenhall scoring just 9.9 points, Greg Jennings was on a mission, scoring 36.6 points.
Unless they were on their smart phones, these two Steelers fans were oblivious to what was going on in their fantasy matchup.
And if they didn't know in the car ride home, Fear had to be shocked to see Peyton Manning add 40.5 points in the 4 o'clock hour.
Michael Vick scored only one-third of his Week 10 performance (21.9 points) later that night and Houserville was easily on his way to a huge win.
With the conference out of reach, this was just a tune up for Week 14. These two are guaranteed to face each other for a third time this season. That time, it will be for a trip to the conference championship game against the Jammers.
If Fear can get that far, it will be because Randy Moss steps up his game or Fear replaces him.
The good news is that it looks like Pierre Thomas is on the mend and should start this week. That will greatly help Fear because Moss has been a waste of space.
And it's a shame. He was a keeper, and deservedly so at the time of the decision, but what a waste in fantasy. He has scored a total of 3.8 points over his last three games. Even worse the Titans are running out of quarterbacks, and none of them are throwing to him anyway.
One has to wonder about the Titans decision to add him.
One won't wonder about Fear if he gives up on him.
Jammers 137.9, Toasters 126.7
Peyton Hillis for MVP?
It's plausible.
He's has yet to dip below double-digits. He's scored a touchdown in every week, but one. He scored another 21.5 fantasy points this weekend, one of seven fantasy players to scored double-digits for the Jammers.
Late edition BenJarvus Green-Ellis over a rather unproductive Jahvid Best (what happened to him?) was a clutch move, giving the Jammers 16.2 points instead of 2.5.
It's not like the Toasters slacked this weekend either.
Seven double-digit players, including a big 31.5 points from the Bears defense made this a close matchup, but the Jammers pulled away with a touchdown by Malcolm Floyd on Monday night.
Matt Schaub overcame a poor first half to make this matchup close, but it wasn't enough.
Still, 126.7 points for the Toasters, one of the League's top scoring teams, shows that over the final two weeks, nothing is solved. He can easily win two games and steal that last playoff spot, or if things fall into place, win the conference for the second straight year.
But focusing on the playoffs is more realistic.
But it could be a QB carousel. I could easily see Sam Bradford getting a start here in the near future. He led all three of the Toasters' QBs this weekend.
He has been really good and it's looking like he could be the Toasters QB of the future. I'm starting to think the future starts in Week 13 when Bradford plays the Cards.
Thieves 159.2, Generals 96.4
Joe Flacco, Terrell Owens, Braylon Edwards and Chris Cooley made this matchup interesting early.
But by the time LeSean McCoy broke free for his long TD against the Giants Sunday night, this matchup was over. The nail was driven in further when McCoy broke free for another long run later in the game, and dead horse was hit once more when Phillip Rivers scored 39.1 points Monday night.
For the Generals, 2010 comes down to this: injuries.
He rolled with Chester Taylor and Tim Hightower at running back this week. Trust me, that wasn't his plan in August when he scribbled on paper a draft game plan.
But DeAngelo Williams and C.J. Spiller were out — Williams is done for the season — Matthew Stafford hasn't been able to stay healthy, and Percy Harvin has gone through a stretch of injuries and Favre problems.
This has led his team to under perform greatly. And it's a shame because Flacco has so much potential and Terrell Owens has been a brilliant sleeper pick.
At this point, the season is over for the Generals, but the 2011 season begins. Some decisions are coming. Flacco may slide into a keeper slot and DeAngelo Williams may fall out. C.J. Spiller also has a chance to come back this week and prove his worth over the final couple weeks of the NFL season and show that he's a keeper.
The high-scoring Thieves are in a different mode. It's time to move on and prepare for the pending playoffs. He technically still could miss it, but I doubt it. We're talking about a team that score 159.2 this week and had another 125.3 points on the bench. The Thieves are stacked and ready. Ravens had 41 points, Steve Johnson had 33.3 and Josh Freeman had another 20. The first two will crack the lineup again for sure.
T-Money 117.2, Boyer 104.6
Boyer still has a chance of the playoffs, but a few mistakes this week have made it nearly impossible.
The first mistake was starting Jason Witten again at the TE/WR position. Since his best friend Tony Romo went out, he's scored just 11 points in three games. That's after he had 15 or more in three out of four games with Romo.
Maybe it's time to move on. It would have been enough to beat T-Money and set him up in great position to win the division. That and had he taken care of Ryan Mathews — the biggest fantasy bust ever — who did not play Monday night.
That was mistake No. 2. No points from Mathews equals no win for Matthew.
As for T-Money, he made all the right moves this week. Matt Hasselbeck has been a suitable replacement for the aforementioned hurt Tony Romo. He had 25.2 points this week, but the consistency still remains a concern for T-Money and he's in a situation where Week 12 is a (near) must-win week.
He rode Hasselbeck, Fred Jackson (25.5) and Dwayne Bowe (24.1) to the win this week. All three haven't established themselves as weekly scorers at this point, and this is why he has to worry when it comes to facing the Toasters. (More on that in the Special Turkey Day Preview!)
Still, he has seven wins and in the JFL, getting to seven is key. It means you have a winning record and it means you have a shot. He just needs one more this weekend to ensure a trip to the postseason again. He's quietly been one of the League's best franchises, except he's "Tony Dungy's Colts." They won in the season but fell short in the playoffs. Maybe, like Dungy did, he'll win before he retires. ... I hope T-Money doesn't retire. I enjoy his company. Still, maybe he can pull a Favre and say he's retiring, win the title and continue the Favre-thing and announce in August that he'll be in the draft room.
If that's his game plan, I'm fine with it. Just don't send me any text messages.
....
(I literally stopped typing and laughed out loud after writing that. I hope you all enjoyed it, too.)
News Team 146, Noise 109.7
The Dolphins experiment if officially over.
Maybe he should have gone with sharks with lasers beams because Chad Henne, Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams have been awful.
The RBs aren't in the top 30 in fantasy football and for Henne, let's put it this way — all three of the Toasters QBs (Schaub, Palmer and Bradford) are ranked higher.
So is David Garrard, who got the start this weekend after leading the Noise to two straight wins and giving him a small breathe of life in the playoff race. That was choked out this weekend by Aaron Rodgers (43.1 points) and Arian Foster (25.5).
Still the worst/best trade ever in fantasy history, the News Team has benefited from the services of Aaron Rodgers, getting another four TDs this week.
Let's follow that up with the best fantasy draft pick during the two-keeper era. Arian Foster is the No. 1 RB this season.
Let me say that again. ARIAN FOSTER is the No. 1 RB. Not Adrian Peterson. Not LeSean McCoy. It's Arian Foster.
He again led the News Team to victory this week, and it's why he's a top candidate for MVP.
Clearly Rodgers is amazing, but his performances are expected. If it weren't for the amazing double-digit performances of Foster (six 20-plus-point weeks), the News Team would be in Generals' World — missing the playoffs. Because Rodgers averages a 25.7 points per game, but comparing how much better he is to the competition to how much better Foster has been isn't even close. You can easily say that Phillip River, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning (and many more) have been just as productive as Rodgers. Other than Peterson and Hillis, it's hard to find a back that has been as productive as Foster.
So lift a beer or a Captain Morgan (oh year!) and salute the News Team for the best pick in the draft. He's been money and he may be worth some REDACTED when the MVP voting finishes in Week 16.
Jawz 165.4, Slackers 138.7
Well, the Jawz Attack moved into the top 10 in all-time single-game scoring performances. It's just a shame it came a few weeks too late.
The same could be said about Marques Colston, who doubled his touchdown total from 2 to 4 this weekend. It was a trade that didn't work out for the Attack. Sending QB Matt Ryan wasn't a problem other than one week. He's had great performances from Mark Sanchez and Ben Roethlisberger all season and hasn't missed Ryan.
He just hasn't seen the return at WR. But at least he can feel good about his QB situation. Big Ben scored 45 points this week and Sanchez had 36.7 on the bench.
The point total (165) is quite astonishing, but it's one that was expected more often this season. For the Attack to be 3-8, surprises me, but have no fear that my Uncle Jason will get this franchise going in 2011. He's already laid the footprint and he has several great keeper options and trade bait in the offseason.
To 2011. ... I just hope there is a 2011. The financial impacts I think will keep this from happening (TV contracts, NFL employees and TV personalities, stadium revenues and employees, new stadium taxes; not to mention the financial impact in the fantasy and gambling world). There's so much that will stop this from happening, so that means the Attack should get a chance to bounce back in 2011.
And he might get another game to win. If we go to an 18-game schedule, as the NFL is looking to do, I'm thinking we'll add one more week to the regular season and create a rivalry game. We'll decide out-of-division rivalries, a team that you will play twice-a-year no matter what. For example, I may play my brother twice a year just for the hell of it. These rivalry games will be decided in the offseason if we get to it.
I'm thinking we'll vote on rivals if there is close ties. Because I could also see myself being rival with Mr. Dawson. Or Mr. Dotterer. Because, quite frankly, as much as I can see my brother being my rival, I'm sure my Uncle, his Godfather, would be a better rival. Both Eagles fans. Both Michigan Wolverine fans. Both scare me with their karate (Jawz) and military tactical training (Noise).
... That decides it. Dawson it is. I'm not scared of him.
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