The Minnesota Vikings once ran out of time in the first round of the NFL draft and they missed out on their pick as the Dolphins dived in to take it.
That was dumb.
But this week, the Vikings made another effort to earn the title, "Dumbest Franchise Ever," which used to belong to World of Noise, who was well-known for drafting players like Jason Avant and David Akers way too early.
Both those players are on the Noise's team again in 2010, but that doesn't outweigh the stupidity of trading a third-round pick for Randy Moss only to release him four weeks later.
In the words of Antoine Dodson, "You are so dumb!"
Nothing speaks more to the stability of a franchise than this. They can't get a new stadium deal, meanwhile the University of Minnesota builds a state-of-the-art football stadium. The Vikings could have shared the costs with the University and built a new home, but no.... They are so dumb!
Brett Favre has a broken ankle — in two places — and yet the Vikings continue to throw him out there. They are so dumb.
They could have prevented this whole thing by not signing an extension with the text message king, but again, they are so dumb.
So Randy Moss, consider yourself lucky. You just left the dumbest franchise in the NFL. Like any human checking into a Holiday Inn, you should instantly feel smarter the moment you clean out your locker.
Fear and Loathing 105.4, Jawz Attack 104
Now after that long rant, the question is, what will Fear and Loathing do with Randy Moss. His one point last weekend helped as he squeaked out a home win against the Attack, who cannot win on the road.
The Attack are 0-6 away from home and 2-0 at home, so I'm going to go out on a limb a predict a 6-7 season record for the Jawz. That means in 2011, he'll go 7-6 and have a chance at the playoffs.
Ah, such a bright future.
He could have ended the road woes this past weekend had Ben Roethlisberger done more than score 8.4 points. Maybe if the Steelers could learn to score on the goal line. Or had he not thrown that one interception. Still, all the blame can't be placed on Big Ben. Chad Ochocinco was outperformed by T.O. yet again and Marshawn Lynch is looking to be the next traded star released if he keeps this kind of production up. Any one of Jawz' backups would have won this matchup.
Fear survived the Jon Kitna experiment, who pulled 21.7 points out of his ass in yet another Cowboys' loss. (Nothing pleases me more than seeing Cowboys fans with bags on their heads. Eagles fans haven't had to don the paper bags since 1998. The Cowboys have done so several times since their Super Bowl years.)
Fear also got 24.6 points from Jamaal Charles in a boring 13-10 games that was seconds away from being a 10-10 god-awful tie.
Dottsville Toasters 122, News Team 94.5
Calvin Johnson is thinking pay day and the Toasters are thinking "Keeper!"
Johnson scored three touchdowns to push his season total to eight. He's had at least 20 points in three of the last four games. He had a season-high 29.9 points Sunday.
Noise also got 20 points from Darren Sproles and 23.5 points from the Saints; and Carson Palmer nearly got 20 with his performance, which was good for the Toasters to see. He soon may own this quarterback job over Schaub.
The News Team, which fell a game behind the Organ Thieves, also had a few 20-point performances from Arian Foster (24.5) and surprisingly, LeGarrette Blount (23.3). More surprising than Blount's 120 yards and two touchdowns was the fact he didn't punch anyone.
Despite those performances, the News Team was doomed by Aaron Rodgers' nine points in a 9-0 win over the Jets. He cut down on his turnovers — none — after I criticized him in my preview, but he also cut down on his touchdown — none — and yards — 170.
The News Team had the points on the bench to win this, but who's going to start either Kyle Orton or McNabb over Rodgers, and who wanted to start Steve Breaston who had 14 catches all season prior to his eight Sunday.
T-Money 132.9, Houserville 121.8
T-Money keeps finding ways to win.
Last week, it was Kenny Britt going wild with 40-plus points.
This week, it was a Raiders duo that scored the Money Man a combined 62.4 points. Recently acquired Jason Campbell, who took the place of an injured Tony Romo, had his best back-to-back weeks as a Raider, throwing for 310 yards and two touchdowns a week after throwing for 204 and two scores.
Not a bad replacement for Romo. And the Raiders defense was the other part of this combo, which scored 32.5 points this week. Added with Frank Gore and Antonio Gates' days, that was plenty enough to beat Houserville, who got less than 10 points from six of nine players, including Felix Jones, who I warned about. Fear and Loathing knows this guy because he once had him as a keeper.
Rashard Mendenhall had 14.9 points on the bench, thanks to one big run, but it wouldn't have helped. The T-Money was too mighty this week.
And now he's in a two-way tie in the Nittany North with the Toasters.
Houserville finds himself in a similar situation, tied with Fear and Loathing.
Graybill's Generals 137.8, Team Boyer 94.4
Don't get me wrong. Graybill loves the Ravens, and he absolutely loves Joe Flacco.
But a lot of him has to be happy that Matthew Stafford is back. Whereas Flacco is a good leader and sometimes a good fantasy QB, Stafford is a fantasy machine. He put 35.5 points to lead the Generals to victory.
On the other side, I can't believe we're saying this, but Eli Manning was on the BYE so Boyer had to go back to Tom Brady for Week 8. Brady scored 19.7 points, but it still didn't equal the average Manning has had this season.
Which is odd to say. Even Gina, a "Giants" fan, laughed when I said Eli is having a better season than Tom Brady. She didn't believe me, and then I quickly quipped with the fact that I'm a fantasy football nut and I know when one player is out-dueling another — like when I know Rashard Mendenhall is better than Felix Jones.
Manning has 1,785 yards and 14 touchdowns and has his Giants in great shape in a year where the once-favored Cowboys are virtually out of the race. With the Redskins stumbling because apparently Donovan McNabb is worse in the two-minute drill than Rex Grossman, that really means the NFC East belongs to the Eagles and/or the Giants.
Eli has his chance to carry them to the division title, but the bigger question for Boyer is, does he have enough fantasy-wise to carry his team?
Nevertheless, this week's loss can be tossed out because Boyer didn't have Michael Turner. He gets him back next week — and hopes to get Addai back soon — but Ryan Matthews scored his second TD of the season and had his second double-digit game of the year. He has yet to rush for more than 75 yards in a game and he'll need to really pick things up in the next couple weeks to make Boyer feel good about drafting him.
Graybill certainly feels good about his draft pick of Terrell Owens. Talk about a sleeper. He's the No. 6 wideout. And I dogged the keeper pick of Percy Harvin, but that surely worked out. He's the fourth ranked WR.
For that, I'm issuing an official apology.
Chinese Organ Thieves 114.4, Sunday Slackers 92.1
The Sunday Slackers stopped chatting on the scoreboard page around 2:30 p.m. Sunday. His girlfriend took over and alerted the room that Parker was crying over his team.
No surprise. Without two Giants receivers, he had to start Roy E. Williams and Deion Branch. And they combined for 2.6 points.
Knowing that he had to win the running back battle, he had high hopes with the matchups, but Tomlinson, Benson and Steven Jackson combined for just 25.3 points.
That was nearly what Adrian Peterson did by himself on the other side.
Philip Rivers did surpass that amount and three wideouts — Reggie Wayne, Danny Amendola and Lance Moore — hit double-digits, giving the Organ Thieves control of their destiny. Win out, and they'll get the first-round bye into the Conference Championships.
With this lineup, that's a scary thought.
The Slackers lineup is not nearly as scary, but it has the players to rally back and make the playoffs. He may trail the divisio nleader b three games, but he's just one game out of the Wild Card spot.
The key to doing that will be having one of his running backs step up and be a top tier back. One name that comes in mind is Steven Jackson. He can't do it now, but he has a stud rookie QB in Sam Bradford and MAYBE a waiver pickup in Randy Moss to draw some attention away from him, in turn opening up some running lanes. It's a lot to hope for, but it could happen.
Jimmy Jammers 130.7, World of Noise 76.1
Who would have thought that with scrubs and replacements, the Jammers would put up his second-highest point total of the season?
The big waiver pickups of Mike Sims-Walker and Mike Thomas, who combined for 35.2 points, led the way; and BenJarvus Green Ellis and Larry Fitzgerald had their best games of the year. Both scored two touchdowns to give the Jammers and easy win.
Sims-Walker and Thomas made a case to stay on the Jammers' team, and the good thing about this is, even though they had big Week 8s, they don't have to be considered for the Week 9 lineup because they both are on the BYE. That's nice because it prevents that impulse to start the lucky waiver wire star who likely won't continue his great play.
But who knows.
One thing is for sure, BenJarvus will remain in the lineup. He is like Peyton Hillis — a touchdown machine. Green-Ellis has scored six touchdowns in the last five games — and at least one TD in each game. He joins Hillis who has scored six times in seven games.
With the BYE weeks all out of the way for the Jammers, the road to a fifth division title is underway. A fourth regular-season conference title could be in the works, too, because the Noise isn't standing in the way this year.
Not with those Dolphins in the lineup. The Dolphins have just two rushing TDs and Noise has two of their RBs.
Chad Henne is only the 21st-ranked QB in fantasy and yet he continues to truck him out there. David Garrard would have been the better choice in Week 8 after scoring 43.2 points. But even that wouldn't have made a difference.
At 1-7, all that work the Noise did to get close to the .500 mark as a franchise over the last two years has gone down the toilet.
That was dumb.
But this week, the Vikings made another effort to earn the title, "Dumbest Franchise Ever," which used to belong to World of Noise, who was well-known for drafting players like Jason Avant and David Akers way too early.
Both those players are on the Noise's team again in 2010, but that doesn't outweigh the stupidity of trading a third-round pick for Randy Moss only to release him four weeks later.
In the words of Antoine Dodson, "You are so dumb!"
Nothing speaks more to the stability of a franchise than this. They can't get a new stadium deal, meanwhile the University of Minnesota builds a state-of-the-art football stadium. The Vikings could have shared the costs with the University and built a new home, but no.... They are so dumb!
Brett Favre has a broken ankle — in two places — and yet the Vikings continue to throw him out there. They are so dumb.
They could have prevented this whole thing by not signing an extension with the text message king, but again, they are so dumb.
So Randy Moss, consider yourself lucky. You just left the dumbest franchise in the NFL. Like any human checking into a Holiday Inn, you should instantly feel smarter the moment you clean out your locker.
Fear and Loathing 105.4, Jawz Attack 104
Now after that long rant, the question is, what will Fear and Loathing do with Randy Moss. His one point last weekend helped as he squeaked out a home win against the Attack, who cannot win on the road.
The Attack are 0-6 away from home and 2-0 at home, so I'm going to go out on a limb a predict a 6-7 season record for the Jawz. That means in 2011, he'll go 7-6 and have a chance at the playoffs.
Ah, such a bright future.
He could have ended the road woes this past weekend had Ben Roethlisberger done more than score 8.4 points. Maybe if the Steelers could learn to score on the goal line. Or had he not thrown that one interception. Still, all the blame can't be placed on Big Ben. Chad Ochocinco was outperformed by T.O. yet again and Marshawn Lynch is looking to be the next traded star released if he keeps this kind of production up. Any one of Jawz' backups would have won this matchup.
Fear survived the Jon Kitna experiment, who pulled 21.7 points out of his ass in yet another Cowboys' loss. (Nothing pleases me more than seeing Cowboys fans with bags on their heads. Eagles fans haven't had to don the paper bags since 1998. The Cowboys have done so several times since their Super Bowl years.)
Fear also got 24.6 points from Jamaal Charles in a boring 13-10 games that was seconds away from being a 10-10 god-awful tie.
Dottsville Toasters 122, News Team 94.5
Calvin Johnson is thinking pay day and the Toasters are thinking "Keeper!"
Johnson scored three touchdowns to push his season total to eight. He's had at least 20 points in three of the last four games. He had a season-high 29.9 points Sunday.
Noise also got 20 points from Darren Sproles and 23.5 points from the Saints; and Carson Palmer nearly got 20 with his performance, which was good for the Toasters to see. He soon may own this quarterback job over Schaub.
The News Team, which fell a game behind the Organ Thieves, also had a few 20-point performances from Arian Foster (24.5) and surprisingly, LeGarrette Blount (23.3). More surprising than Blount's 120 yards and two touchdowns was the fact he didn't punch anyone.
Despite those performances, the News Team was doomed by Aaron Rodgers' nine points in a 9-0 win over the Jets. He cut down on his turnovers — none — after I criticized him in my preview, but he also cut down on his touchdown — none — and yards — 170.
The News Team had the points on the bench to win this, but who's going to start either Kyle Orton or McNabb over Rodgers, and who wanted to start Steve Breaston who had 14 catches all season prior to his eight Sunday.
T-Money 132.9, Houserville 121.8
T-Money keeps finding ways to win.
Last week, it was Kenny Britt going wild with 40-plus points.
This week, it was a Raiders duo that scored the Money Man a combined 62.4 points. Recently acquired Jason Campbell, who took the place of an injured Tony Romo, had his best back-to-back weeks as a Raider, throwing for 310 yards and two touchdowns a week after throwing for 204 and two scores.
Not a bad replacement for Romo. And the Raiders defense was the other part of this combo, which scored 32.5 points this week. Added with Frank Gore and Antonio Gates' days, that was plenty enough to beat Houserville, who got less than 10 points from six of nine players, including Felix Jones, who I warned about. Fear and Loathing knows this guy because he once had him as a keeper.
Rashard Mendenhall had 14.9 points on the bench, thanks to one big run, but it wouldn't have helped. The T-Money was too mighty this week.
And now he's in a two-way tie in the Nittany North with the Toasters.
Houserville finds himself in a similar situation, tied with Fear and Loathing.
Graybill's Generals 137.8, Team Boyer 94.4
Don't get me wrong. Graybill loves the Ravens, and he absolutely loves Joe Flacco.
But a lot of him has to be happy that Matthew Stafford is back. Whereas Flacco is a good leader and sometimes a good fantasy QB, Stafford is a fantasy machine. He put 35.5 points to lead the Generals to victory.
On the other side, I can't believe we're saying this, but Eli Manning was on the BYE so Boyer had to go back to Tom Brady for Week 8. Brady scored 19.7 points, but it still didn't equal the average Manning has had this season.
Which is odd to say. Even Gina, a "Giants" fan, laughed when I said Eli is having a better season than Tom Brady. She didn't believe me, and then I quickly quipped with the fact that I'm a fantasy football nut and I know when one player is out-dueling another — like when I know Rashard Mendenhall is better than Felix Jones.
Manning has 1,785 yards and 14 touchdowns and has his Giants in great shape in a year where the once-favored Cowboys are virtually out of the race. With the Redskins stumbling because apparently Donovan McNabb is worse in the two-minute drill than Rex Grossman, that really means the NFC East belongs to the Eagles and/or the Giants.
Eli has his chance to carry them to the division title, but the bigger question for Boyer is, does he have enough fantasy-wise to carry his team?
Nevertheless, this week's loss can be tossed out because Boyer didn't have Michael Turner. He gets him back next week — and hopes to get Addai back soon — but Ryan Matthews scored his second TD of the season and had his second double-digit game of the year. He has yet to rush for more than 75 yards in a game and he'll need to really pick things up in the next couple weeks to make Boyer feel good about drafting him.
Graybill certainly feels good about his draft pick of Terrell Owens. Talk about a sleeper. He's the No. 6 wideout. And I dogged the keeper pick of Percy Harvin, but that surely worked out. He's the fourth ranked WR.
For that, I'm issuing an official apology.
Chinese Organ Thieves 114.4, Sunday Slackers 92.1
The Sunday Slackers stopped chatting on the scoreboard page around 2:30 p.m. Sunday. His girlfriend took over and alerted the room that Parker was crying over his team.
No surprise. Without two Giants receivers, he had to start Roy E. Williams and Deion Branch. And they combined for 2.6 points.
Knowing that he had to win the running back battle, he had high hopes with the matchups, but Tomlinson, Benson and Steven Jackson combined for just 25.3 points.
That was nearly what Adrian Peterson did by himself on the other side.
Philip Rivers did surpass that amount and three wideouts — Reggie Wayne, Danny Amendola and Lance Moore — hit double-digits, giving the Organ Thieves control of their destiny. Win out, and they'll get the first-round bye into the Conference Championships.
With this lineup, that's a scary thought.
The Slackers lineup is not nearly as scary, but it has the players to rally back and make the playoffs. He may trail the divisio nleader b three games, but he's just one game out of the Wild Card spot.
The key to doing that will be having one of his running backs step up and be a top tier back. One name that comes in mind is Steven Jackson. He can't do it now, but he has a stud rookie QB in Sam Bradford and MAYBE a waiver pickup in Randy Moss to draw some attention away from him, in turn opening up some running lanes. It's a lot to hope for, but it could happen.
Jimmy Jammers 130.7, World of Noise 76.1
Who would have thought that with scrubs and replacements, the Jammers would put up his second-highest point total of the season?
The big waiver pickups of Mike Sims-Walker and Mike Thomas, who combined for 35.2 points, led the way; and BenJarvus Green Ellis and Larry Fitzgerald had their best games of the year. Both scored two touchdowns to give the Jammers and easy win.
Sims-Walker and Thomas made a case to stay on the Jammers' team, and the good thing about this is, even though they had big Week 8s, they don't have to be considered for the Week 9 lineup because they both are on the BYE. That's nice because it prevents that impulse to start the lucky waiver wire star who likely won't continue his great play.
But who knows.
One thing is for sure, BenJarvus will remain in the lineup. He is like Peyton Hillis — a touchdown machine. Green-Ellis has scored six touchdowns in the last five games — and at least one TD in each game. He joins Hillis who has scored six times in seven games.
With the BYE weeks all out of the way for the Jammers, the road to a fifth division title is underway. A fourth regular-season conference title could be in the works, too, because the Noise isn't standing in the way this year.
Not with those Dolphins in the lineup. The Dolphins have just two rushing TDs and Noise has two of their RBs.
Chad Henne is only the 21st-ranked QB in fantasy and yet he continues to truck him out there. David Garrard would have been the better choice in Week 8 after scoring 43.2 points. But even that wouldn't have made a difference.
At 1-7, all that work the Noise did to get close to the .500 mark as a franchise over the last two years has gone down the toilet.
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