With the baseball draft approaching quickly, less than 36 hours away, we have to take a look at what the League looks like after the keeper deadline. Every team has their wants and needs, and every team has keepers that make other envious — some more than others — but right now, we all have hope and with the newly formed American and National Leagues in the Jimmyjam Baseball League, we’re sure to have a lot of fun. Here’s a chance for you to meet or re-unite with (for most) your division rivals.
The following team caps are in no particular order. I literally just wrote them in the order that the team pages printed out for me. So if you're last, blame the printer. If you're first, hope the printer is like Paul the Octopus during the 2010 World Cup.
National League East
Vandelay Industries
2010 Record/Finish: 254-177-73/First in division, National League pennant
Owner’s All-Time Record: 254-177-73 (.576)
Top Bats: Vandelay took the whole minor league thing seriously. After the 2010 draft, he admitted that he thought that more people would scoop up prospects early, so that’s why he dug into the minor leagues and grabbed players who weren’t on major league rosters yet. In April and May, it looked like a bit of a mistake, but by July he was cruising toward a National League pennant. Now he owns the rights to guys like Buster Posey (NL MVP), Starlin Castro, Jason Heyward, Carlos Santana and Mike Stanton for a long while. All were rookies last season and he can hold on to them through the minor league program for the next two years. He’s like the Tampa Bay Rays of our league, except he won’t clean house after a winning campaign. Add in Gordon Beckham, Matt Kemp, Carl Crawford and Jayson Werth and the Industries are in great shape, a clear favorite to win the NL East and the NL pennant again in 2011.
Top Arms: If it wasn’t bad enough with all the bats, rivals will have to deal with one of the — if not THE — best pitching staff in the JBL. Roy Halladay, Yovani Gallardo, Clay Buchholz, Ricky Romero and Neftali Feliz all headline this star-studded staff. He also has Joakim Soria and Andrew Bailey in the bullpen. Is it time to raise the white flag yet?
On the Farm: Um, virtually everyone above. He doesn’t have any true minor leaguers who haven’t reached the majors yet, but he won’t need to worry about that for at least two years.
Needs: Third base. He’ll be keeping a close eye on the loaded third basemen crop in the draft, but at pick 11, he’ll be waiting a while to see who remains. Then again, I’m sure he can find a minor leaguer to all of a sudden come up and be a Rookie of the Year.
Jammers Slammers
2010 Record/Finish: 236-195-73/Second in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 932-696-298 (.561)
Top Bats: A loss in power came from the departure of Joey Votto in the middle of last season, but with Billy Butler there to step in, not much was lost. He batted .318 with 15 homers and 78 RBIs. Heading into his fifth year, this 24-year-old first baseman should only get better. As will be the case for center fielder Andrew McCutchen. Veteran bats Hanley Ramirez, Victor Martinez and Nelson Cruz round out this strong lineup that will only get better if Chase Utley can somehow get healthy and back to form.
Top Arms: With half of the Phillies’ big four, a three-time All-Star in Dan Haren, and Baltimore and Tampa Bay’s No. 1 starters, this staff is set already. Cole Hamels, Cliff Lee and Haren will be the veterans on this talented crew, with David Price joining in make a powerful 1, 2, 3, 4 punch. Brian Matusz and Gio Gonzalez had decent rookie years, and Rays prospect Jeremy Hellickson was solid after his August call-up last season. Ryan Madsen sits alone in a bullpen that needs attention in the draft.
On the Farm: The No. 1 prospect in baseball is Mike Trout, and the Jammers has him developing on his roster. He will likely be in the minors again this season for the Angels, but with McCutchen already in center field, the Slammers are in no rush to see him called up. Wilson Ramos is one of the top catching prospects in baseball — he was kept out of the majors in Minnesota because of a guy named Joe Mauer and now he’s waiting behind Ivan Rodriguez in Washington. He’ll get a chance soon. Hellickson also hasn’t officially had a rookie year so he’s starting Year 1 with the Slammers this season.
Needs: Second base, third base and left/right field. With Chase Utley most likely starting the season on the DL, the Slammers will need a second basemen, as well as a right or left fielder, because Nelson Cruz can only play in one spot. Third base also is questionable with Danny Valencia sitting there. He surprised the Twins during his call-up in the fall last season, batting .311. He’s been named the starting third basement heading into 2011, but can he keep a .300 batting average all season? That question leaves the need for a third basemen for the Slammers.
You’re Freaking Out
2010 Record/Finish: 183-231-90/Fourth in National League
Owner’s All-Time Record: First season as owner.
Top Bats: First, I’m saying it now, I’m calling You’re F**cking Out by the name You’re Freaking Out. Not because I’m offended because I’m not, but rather because I’m lazy and I don’t want to hold the shift key while trying to make asterisks. If there’s anything we’ve learned from Barry Bonds, it’s that asterisks are not a part of baseball — not yet. And let me take it a step further, I like mascots. So, I’m just going to call Brian Walter’s team the Outs. So when you see that, you know who I’m talking about. Now, let’s get to baseball. … Now, just because his brother Dave won the race to Facebook message me back doesn’t mean the Outs missed out on a good team. Believe it or not, my younger brother’s squad was in really good shape and just missed out on the playoffs after making a late-season run. Had the Outs — then called the Noisy Basterds — taken better care of their starting lineup, it’s feasible that this team could have been in the playoffs, and then who knows what will happen. Whereas the Duncans may have the best infield, the Outs are running for the “Best Outfield” award. Matt Holliday, Ichiro Suzuki and Carlos Gonzalez — and B.J. Upton in the UTIL spot — make me jealous. I wish I had that quartet in the outfield. We’re talking about 100 stolen bases, 70 homers and 300-plus RBIs from the four altogether. And Holliday, Suzuki and CarGo will all hit better than .300. The infield is where the Outs need to get some work done. A young grouping of 1B Ike Davis, 2B Neil Walker and SS Ian Desmond will be average at best if they play like they did last season. All have had their moments and they have all been named as highly touted prospects, so there’s room for growth, but the Outs need at least one of them to live up to their potential this season. Rickie Weeks also is in this lineup, and while he doesn’t hit for average, he does score a lot of runs. He had more than 100 last season and will be close to that again in 2011. One of the best hitting catchers in the League, Brian McCann will be a big boost, too.
Top Arms: Jon Lester is the star of this staff, and Mat Latos will contend to take over that title. Together, they will make the Outs a formidable staff throughout the season. The good thing for the Outs is that Latos should be stretched out enough to go the whole season without any concerns. Last year, in July and August, the Padres were worried about his innings-count. This season, that will not be a problem. The Outs also have a pair of decent starters who are in new locations — Shaun Marcum in Milwaukee and Ted Lilly in Dodger blue. The two will have the chance to win double-digit games and post mid-3 ERAs. In the bullpen is Francisco Rodriguez, K-Rod if you will, who can get 30-plus saves if he avoids the domestic violence that led to just 25 saves last season.
On the Farm: Ike Davis, Ian Desmond, Neil Walker and Mat Latos line this youthful squad, and the Outs will benefit from their presence over the next two years.
Needs: The Outs need a third basemen and luckily that’s what the draft is loaded with. With the fourth pick in the draft and two of three teams in front of him needing pitching over third basemen, that means he should have a good shot at getting either Adrian Beltre, Michael Young, Casey McGehee or Kevin Youkilis. By doing the math, he’s guaranteed at least one of those if for some reason they go 1, 2, 3, 4, but I seriously doubt the first four picks will be third basemen with pitching being at a premium for the Backward Ks and the Bad News Bears keeping two top third basemen.
National League West
Backward Ks
2010 Record/Finish: 166-260-78/Sixth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 756-876-294 (.469)
Top Bats: Average and speed is where the Ks need to improve. Power is not. He’s got the big boppers in Ryan Howard, Pablo Sandoval, Tyler Colvin, Aaron Hill, Justin Upton and Shin-Soo Choo. He’s got a player for every position heading into 2011, so aside from a few back-ups, or possibly an speedy outfielder, I expect the Ks to work on his pitching staff in the draft. That, and maybe a few prospects.
Top Arms: John Lackey, Javier Vasquez and Mike Pelfrey are the keepers. It’s a top three the Mets wish they had, but it’s a top three the Ks wishes he could improve. Lackey is a 4 in Boston, so that may help him get some wins — especially with that offense — and Vasquez is back in the National League with a good Marlins club and he could easily have a better year than last.
On the Farm: SP Jordan Zimmerman and SP Clayton Richard are not your top dogs when it comes to pitching prospects, but they have potential. With a little luck, one or both of these guys can fill the void of a No. 1 starter. Outside of those two guys, The Ks will be looking to add some youth to build for the future.
Needs: Arms. And after that, a few more arms. The Backward Ks lack that No. 1 starter. John Lackey used to be that guy, but he didn’t have much success in Boston last season. The Ks have the No. 1 overall draft pick and he’ll surely use that pick for a pitcher — that or draft someone who he thinks he can trade for a good pitcher. Who knows what will happen after the draft, but the Ks face an upward battle this season. Luckily, with the new divisional setup, he’s away from the Slammers and Vandelay.
Ronald Duncan
2010 Record/Finish: 247-185-72/First in American League, moves to National League in 2011
Owner’s All-Time Record: First year as owner.
Top Bats: Ronald Duncan, a.k.a. Gina’s cousin Dave Walter, was the first of the two Gina cousins invited this offseason to respond, so he got the former Dolph’s Destroyers franchise. … And what a year to take it over. The Destroyers won 247 games and won the now-American League with a .562 winning percentage. The key offensively was a slew of home run hitters, RBIs hoarders and hit-for-average kings. Miguel Cabrera, Howie Kendrick, Ryan Zimmerman and Troy Tulowitzki make up one of the best infields in fantasy baseball. All are .300 hitters and the Duncans will get at least 110 homers, 350 RBIs and 35 stolen bases out of the quartet. The infield gets better with Kendry Morales as a back-up first baseman, who returns from the broken ankle to sit in the Duncans’ UTIL slot. Elvis Anrus is backing Tulo up at short and in the outfield, he has Alex Rios and Hunter Pence. Oh, and he has Matt Wieters, who I believe will have a huge offensive year with the Orioles improved lineup. Overall, this could be the best lineup in the League when all is said and done. And in the new National League West, he’s going to be a tough team to battle.
Top Arms: And the Duncans’ get even luckier in the pitching department. Even with the unfortunate loss of Adam Wainright (out for season with Tommy John surgery), he’s still in great shape. Most teams would be crippled with the loss of a 20-game winner. But the Duncans have Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander and Edison Volquez to fall back on. Carlos Marmol and Daniel Bard in the bullpen are even more reassuring that Duncan will be alright.
On the Farm: Andrus and Weiters are up and playing but they counted for the minor league system for the Duncans this season. He’ll be able to keep them as minor leaguers next season, too, which is nice to have, but they’ll have to solidify themselves to become franchise players once they get three years. Derek Holland also has a chance to step up for the Duncans.
Needs: It’s hard to believe this team needs anything, but he does not have a left fielder, so he’ll be looking for that in the draft, but with the lineup he has, he can afford to hold off and wait while he builds around King Felix and Verlander.
Team Suck
2010 Record/Finish: 210-226-68/Third in the division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 788-858-280 (.482)
Top Bats: Prince Fielder is clearly the star in this lineup, and Colby Rasmus is the up-and-coming star. Outside of that, Suck will be working to fill some holes in the lineup, especially at third base where he surprisingly let Mark Reynolds, Michael Young and Placido Polanco walk into free agency, as well as 1B Kevin Youkilis. He’s set at catcher with Carlos Ruiz, who will hit for average, and Russell Martin, who will fill in for the Yankees until Jesus Montero is ready.
Top Arms: This staff took a hit when Zack Greinke broke his rib, but it won’t sideline him for too long. Greinke, added with Matt Cain and Johnny Cueto will be a formidable trio for Team Suck. He’ll have to fill in the gaps, though, with no minor leaguers surrounding these guys. So Team Suck’s priority come draft day will be pitching.
On the Farm: No prospects, outside of Colby Rasmus, who is out of eligibility after this season.
Needs: Ironically, with the dropping of three third basemen, Team Suck needs a third baseman. He also could use a power outfielder and a speed utility player. He’ll also need to surround Greinke and Cain with a few No. 2 or 3 starters, especially with Greinke on the mend.
American League East
Bad News Bears
2010 Record/Finish: 157-253-94/Sixth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 511-741-260 (.424)
Top Bats: There are a few holes, namely in the outfield and at first base, but the Bad News Bears actually have a good core group of batters heading into 2011. Kurt Suzuki at catcher flies under the radar and he had a down year last season. He’ll be better in 2011, and Robinson Cano was arguably the best second basemen in baseball last season. The Bears also have two top prospects in 3B Pedro Alvarez and 1B/RF Garrett Jones. Both have power and will hit homers for the Bears. Brett Gardner will provide the speed and Aramis Ramirez will provide the surprise. The Bears traded for the prized third baseman a year ago, but it didn’t pan out as Ramirez had one of his worst seasons. I expect a bounce-back season from him. So don’t count the Bears out in the AL East.
Top Arms: Heading into 2011, the Bears have the best pitching staff that they’ve ever had in the franchise’s three years. C.C. Sabathia and Matt Garza were part of a 2009 three-team trade that required the Bears to give up just Brian McCann, and Rick Porcello was a draft pick last season who joined keeper Ryan Dempster. Add in the best closer in baseball in Mariano Rivera and all the Bears have to do is add a few quality arms and he’s in contention for a division title. Oh, and that’s if he remembers to set his lineup regularly, Alex!
On the Farm: As mentioned, Jones and Alvarez are up in the majors, but they qualify as minor leaguers. The Bears will have to look to add one or two prospects this year — either in the draft or as the season progresses — to continue to build a franchise that has gone from 185 wins to 169 to 157.
Needs: Outfield and first base. And with a strong starting rotation, he can afford to work on that in the early rounds of the draft.
N.J. Bombers
2010 Record/Finish: 228-190-86/Fourth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 672-605-235 (.522)
Top Bats: Like the Gamblers, the Bombers are loaded with power bats. A home run title could be attainable — appropriately — for the Bombers. With Adam Dunn, Jay Bruce, Evan Longoria and Justin Morneau, it’s very possible the Bombers could take a run at the JBL record for home runs (243). Even with all the power, the Bombers have hit-for-average guys, as well as speed with Jacoby Ellsbury, Austin Jackson and Denard Span.
Top Arms: Pitching is where the Bombers need to get better. It may be in the draft. It may be by sending off one of his many bats to a team with a decent amount of pitching. Whichever way, he needs someone to sure up the top of his rotation. Jered Weaver will be consistent, as usual, and Francisco Liriano had a great start to 2010, but injury issues and trade rumors surround the once-prized pitcher. Jaime Garcia and Tommy Hunter are both young and have the ability to step up this season, but with the aforementioned four pitchers being all that the Bombers have, it’s easy to see that a few of the top pitchers in the draft should be targeted by the Bombers. He’ll need that to match his AL East rival Sex Panthers, who have Josh Johnson, C.J. Wilson and Phil Hughes. The Bombers bullpen, however, is looking good with Heath Bell and Rafael Soriano sitting there — and Kyle didn’t have to pay $11M to get Soriano.
On the Farm: Austin Jackson is the best minor league prospect for the Bombers, and he’s already in the majors. He’ll have room after the draft to drop some FA duds on his roster and build up the farm.
Needs: Pitching and left field. He’ll likely have to address the pitching early, then find a nice bat in left field.
Sex Panthers
2010 Record/Finish: 643-620-249/Fifth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 643-620-249 (.508)
Top Bats: The Panthers should be back. Take away a summer planning for a wedding and this fantasy-hater will be a fantasy contender in the AL East. She won the batting title in 2009 with a .292 average and with Albert Pujols, Freddy Sanchez, Martin Prado, Nick Markakis and Delmon Young already on the roster, she’ll be right in the thick of things for another batting title. Her chances improve greatly if Derek Jeter (.270 batter last season) and Shane Victorino (.259 last season) return to their 2009 form — Jeter (.334) and Victorino (.292).
Top Arms: So she won the batting title in 2009. Then she added the pitching title in 2010 with a League-best 3.404 ERA. A big reason for that was Josh Johnson, who is a clear No. 1 on this squad. Add Johnson with Phil Hughes, who had a breakout year; C.J. Wilson, who had a surprise run of his own in Texas; and Trevor Cahill, who emerged in Oakland, and you have a formidable rotation before the draft even starts. Brad Lidge will be in the bullpen for the Panthers, despite how much she despises him and the Phillies. Nonetheless, when a team is hyped to have possibly more than 100 wins, you should be in good shape to have the closer of that team.
On the Farm: The Panthers have Matt LaPorta and Michael Brantley who each have two years experience with Cleveland, so this is their last chance to emerge as the top bats they were projected to be a few years ago. Otherwise, they’ll be free agents in fantasy baseball next offseason. One guy who won’t is Jesus Montero. The Panthers have one of the best catching prospects in all of baseball and someday he’ll play for the Yankees, or whichever team he is traded to if the Yankees finally decide a starting pitcher is worth more. His bat will be a great addition for the Panthers, who do not have a catcher at this point. If he leaves Florida with the Yankees and supplants Russell Martin, Gina will be one happy fantasy-hater. And pitching-wise, Trevor Cahill and Mike Leake will be nice to have around for the Panthers. Their development could create a solid third keeper behind Johnson and Hughes for the next two or three years.
Needs: Catcher. At this point, Montero is iffy to become the everyday catcher, even though he should in my opinion. That means she’ll be looking for someone to carry the load until then. That, and a few relievers and a younger shortstop to start grooming for the future because Jeter can’t play forever, can he?
American League West
Buck Robbins
2010 Record/Finish: 186-240-78/Fifth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: New owner
Top Bats: The Red Sox were happy to get Adrian Gonzalez. Buck Robbins is happy to take over a team that has him after signing with the Sox. Take him out of Petco Park and give him a Monster in left and a Pesky Pole in right and Gonzo is going to go bonkers. With Robbins’ Dustin Pedroia surely to bat in front of him, it’s going to be a good offensive year. David Wright and Josh Hamilton will help, too, with the power, and prospect Desmond Jennings is said to be the next Carl Crawford in Tampa Bay. Now, if Buck can only get Alfonso Soriano to live up to half of his contract.
Top Arms: A starting four of Roy Oswalt, Jake Peavy, Tommy Hanson and Tim Lincecum is going to be a strong part of this team. He will easily get at least 60 wins out of them alone, along with about 700 strikeouts. Jonathan Papelbon is all alone in the bullpen right now, but that can be addressed in the draft.
On the Farm: Empty. Taking over a team that didn’t have any minor leaguers means Robbins will be starting from scratch. But fortunately, he has a strong core and will be in contention this season, giving him the chance to build up the farm.
Needs: Catcher. He’s one of the few teams that doesn’t have a catcher going into the 2011 draft. Only one other team doesn’t have a catcher (N.J. Bombers) and another has a prospect (Sex Panthers with Jesus Montero), so he’ll have to grab one before the rest of the league starts grabbing backups that would be suitable starters for his squad.
Gameday Gamblers
2010 Record/Finish: 236-188-80/Second in division/American League pennant/World Series title
Owner’s All-Time Record: 692-596-224 (.532)
Top Bats: Three MVPs and last season’s home run batting champion round out the Gamblers lineup in 2011 — and after we talk about those four players, we can talk about guys like Andre Ethier and Ryan Braun. Not bad, heading into the season with a group like that. Among those MVPs are Joe Mauer, Joey Votto and Alex Rodriguez, and all three should be solid again in 2011. Mauer is coming off of knee surgery, so it will be interesting to see what happens to him over the next few years, whether or not he is moved out from behind the plate or not. It’s hard to chose between who is the best bat on this team, but surely Votto and Mauer will be vying for the batting titles in both the NL and AL. For the Gamblers, he hopes they swing his way to his first division title. He’s got two World Series titles and two American League pennants, but he hasn’t won a division title yet. Maybe he can take advantage of the new format and not be the best team in the American League, but still win a division title.
Top Arms: He didn’t name his team the Gamblers for fun. It’s what Parker does. He gambles; whether it’s hours and hours of poker in Vegas (which he has survived an won a nice bundle of cash) or trading away a potential Cy Young winner, he’ll take the risk. Last season, he shipped off David Price and Dan Haren for Joey Votto. A boost in the lineup was nice, but his pitching staff took a major hit. Ubaldo Jimenez was god-like for about 10 starts last season before he returned to Earth. Clayton Kershaw is the Dodgers’ No. 1 pitcher, too, but those two No. 1s haven’t stepped up for a full season and proved themselves worthy of being in the same breath as a Roy Halladay, Felix Hernandez, Tim Lincecum or David Price. That’s what the Gamblers will need this year, is for one of them to step up. If not, he’s got a lot of hope in Aroldis Chapman, Madison Bumgarner and Wade Davis.
On the Farm: Aroldis Chapman and Stephen Strasburg stand out here, but Strasburg won’t return this season, so he’ll be “on the farm” for a bit. Bumgarner saw his first major league action last season and Davis is young, too, giving the Gamblers some players to hold on to and develop. There, however, are no bats on this farm, so the Gamblers should work on bringing in a bat or two. Perhaps at third base where on Alex Rodriguez is getting old.
Needs: No shortstops or center fielders on this team, so the Gamblers will be in search of a pair of speedy, hit-for-average guys at those positions because he’s already got the power categories figured out.
Stankinator
2010 Record/Finish: 229-185-90/Third in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 687-594-231 (.531)
Top Bats: The Stankinator is now two years removed from winning the World Series. Since taking the 2008 title, the Stank has been battling to get back, but it’s been tough with the Gamblers — among others — in the way. The other was the loss of Jose Reyes, who was outstanding in 2008 for the Stank with .297 average, 113 runs, 204 hits, 19 triples, 16 homers, 68 RBIs and 56 stolen bases. Now, he’s off the roster after a few injury-filled seasons. Instead, the Stank is going with Miguel Tejada, who is getting up there in age, but is joining the Giants, who’s lineup seems to be getting better and better each day. Tejada will hit and he’ll drive in runs and he’ll be a big part of the Stank’s lineup. I also like a bounce-back year for Brian Roberts, and Mark Teixeira, Scott Rolen and Dan Uggla will provide the RBIs and the big hits (about 100 homers combined). The biggest thing for Stank is hoping that Jason Bay can return to form, and that catcher Miguel Montero will continue to develop in Arizona.
Top Arms: Chris Carpenter was the Stank’s No. 1 pick in the draft last season. He’s one of the best in the majors and he’ll continue to be a No. 1 for Stank. Now he just needs Chad Billingsley to pick up his game and hope Tim Hudson feeds off his comeback last year. Both Billingsley and Hudson will have ERAs in the mid-3s and 12 to 15 wins. Leo Nunez is in the bullpen for the Stank, which will provide some saves, but clearly he will be working on the bullpen and starting rotation in the draft.
On the Farm: The cupboard is basically empty. Domonic Brown is on the roster — and he’ll be on the DL for a little bit with the broken hand — but when he comes back, he’ll be on the Phillies roster. It will be big for the Stank if he can have Brown step into right field for him at some point during the season and provide some power.
Needs: The Stank needs to get a No. 2 or 3 pitcher to solidify his starting rotation. Two No. 2s or 3s would be even better. He also needs a center fielder, and a right fielder to hold the roster spot until Brown is healthy and ready. An influx of youth would be helpful, too. Six of eight batters in his keeper lineup are over the age of 30.
The following team caps are in no particular order. I literally just wrote them in the order that the team pages printed out for me. So if you're last, blame the printer. If you're first, hope the printer is like Paul the Octopus during the 2010 World Cup.
National League East
Vandelay Industries
2010 Record/Finish: 254-177-73/First in division, National League pennant
Owner’s All-Time Record: 254-177-73 (.576)
Top Bats: Vandelay took the whole minor league thing seriously. After the 2010 draft, he admitted that he thought that more people would scoop up prospects early, so that’s why he dug into the minor leagues and grabbed players who weren’t on major league rosters yet. In April and May, it looked like a bit of a mistake, but by July he was cruising toward a National League pennant. Now he owns the rights to guys like Buster Posey (NL MVP), Starlin Castro, Jason Heyward, Carlos Santana and Mike Stanton for a long while. All were rookies last season and he can hold on to them through the minor league program for the next two years. He’s like the Tampa Bay Rays of our league, except he won’t clean house after a winning campaign. Add in Gordon Beckham, Matt Kemp, Carl Crawford and Jayson Werth and the Industries are in great shape, a clear favorite to win the NL East and the NL pennant again in 2011.
Top Arms: If it wasn’t bad enough with all the bats, rivals will have to deal with one of the — if not THE — best pitching staff in the JBL. Roy Halladay, Yovani Gallardo, Clay Buchholz, Ricky Romero and Neftali Feliz all headline this star-studded staff. He also has Joakim Soria and Andrew Bailey in the bullpen. Is it time to raise the white flag yet?
On the Farm: Um, virtually everyone above. He doesn’t have any true minor leaguers who haven’t reached the majors yet, but he won’t need to worry about that for at least two years.
Needs: Third base. He’ll be keeping a close eye on the loaded third basemen crop in the draft, but at pick 11, he’ll be waiting a while to see who remains. Then again, I’m sure he can find a minor leaguer to all of a sudden come up and be a Rookie of the Year.
Jammers Slammers
2010 Record/Finish: 236-195-73/Second in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 932-696-298 (.561)
Top Bats: A loss in power came from the departure of Joey Votto in the middle of last season, but with Billy Butler there to step in, not much was lost. He batted .318 with 15 homers and 78 RBIs. Heading into his fifth year, this 24-year-old first baseman should only get better. As will be the case for center fielder Andrew McCutchen. Veteran bats Hanley Ramirez, Victor Martinez and Nelson Cruz round out this strong lineup that will only get better if Chase Utley can somehow get healthy and back to form.
Top Arms: With half of the Phillies’ big four, a three-time All-Star in Dan Haren, and Baltimore and Tampa Bay’s No. 1 starters, this staff is set already. Cole Hamels, Cliff Lee and Haren will be the veterans on this talented crew, with David Price joining in make a powerful 1, 2, 3, 4 punch. Brian Matusz and Gio Gonzalez had decent rookie years, and Rays prospect Jeremy Hellickson was solid after his August call-up last season. Ryan Madsen sits alone in a bullpen that needs attention in the draft.
On the Farm: The No. 1 prospect in baseball is Mike Trout, and the Jammers has him developing on his roster. He will likely be in the minors again this season for the Angels, but with McCutchen already in center field, the Slammers are in no rush to see him called up. Wilson Ramos is one of the top catching prospects in baseball — he was kept out of the majors in Minnesota because of a guy named Joe Mauer and now he’s waiting behind Ivan Rodriguez in Washington. He’ll get a chance soon. Hellickson also hasn’t officially had a rookie year so he’s starting Year 1 with the Slammers this season.
Needs: Second base, third base and left/right field. With Chase Utley most likely starting the season on the DL, the Slammers will need a second basemen, as well as a right or left fielder, because Nelson Cruz can only play in one spot. Third base also is questionable with Danny Valencia sitting there. He surprised the Twins during his call-up in the fall last season, batting .311. He’s been named the starting third basement heading into 2011, but can he keep a .300 batting average all season? That question leaves the need for a third basemen for the Slammers.
You’re Freaking Out
2010 Record/Finish: 183-231-90/Fourth in National League
Owner’s All-Time Record: First season as owner.
Top Bats: First, I’m saying it now, I’m calling You’re F**cking Out by the name You’re Freaking Out. Not because I’m offended because I’m not, but rather because I’m lazy and I don’t want to hold the shift key while trying to make asterisks. If there’s anything we’ve learned from Barry Bonds, it’s that asterisks are not a part of baseball — not yet. And let me take it a step further, I like mascots. So, I’m just going to call Brian Walter’s team the Outs. So when you see that, you know who I’m talking about. Now, let’s get to baseball. … Now, just because his brother Dave won the race to Facebook message me back doesn’t mean the Outs missed out on a good team. Believe it or not, my younger brother’s squad was in really good shape and just missed out on the playoffs after making a late-season run. Had the Outs — then called the Noisy Basterds — taken better care of their starting lineup, it’s feasible that this team could have been in the playoffs, and then who knows what will happen. Whereas the Duncans may have the best infield, the Outs are running for the “Best Outfield” award. Matt Holliday, Ichiro Suzuki and Carlos Gonzalez — and B.J. Upton in the UTIL spot — make me jealous. I wish I had that quartet in the outfield. We’re talking about 100 stolen bases, 70 homers and 300-plus RBIs from the four altogether. And Holliday, Suzuki and CarGo will all hit better than .300. The infield is where the Outs need to get some work done. A young grouping of 1B Ike Davis, 2B Neil Walker and SS Ian Desmond will be average at best if they play like they did last season. All have had their moments and they have all been named as highly touted prospects, so there’s room for growth, but the Outs need at least one of them to live up to their potential this season. Rickie Weeks also is in this lineup, and while he doesn’t hit for average, he does score a lot of runs. He had more than 100 last season and will be close to that again in 2011. One of the best hitting catchers in the League, Brian McCann will be a big boost, too.
Top Arms: Jon Lester is the star of this staff, and Mat Latos will contend to take over that title. Together, they will make the Outs a formidable staff throughout the season. The good thing for the Outs is that Latos should be stretched out enough to go the whole season without any concerns. Last year, in July and August, the Padres were worried about his innings-count. This season, that will not be a problem. The Outs also have a pair of decent starters who are in new locations — Shaun Marcum in Milwaukee and Ted Lilly in Dodger blue. The two will have the chance to win double-digit games and post mid-3 ERAs. In the bullpen is Francisco Rodriguez, K-Rod if you will, who can get 30-plus saves if he avoids the domestic violence that led to just 25 saves last season.
On the Farm: Ike Davis, Ian Desmond, Neil Walker and Mat Latos line this youthful squad, and the Outs will benefit from their presence over the next two years.
Needs: The Outs need a third basemen and luckily that’s what the draft is loaded with. With the fourth pick in the draft and two of three teams in front of him needing pitching over third basemen, that means he should have a good shot at getting either Adrian Beltre, Michael Young, Casey McGehee or Kevin Youkilis. By doing the math, he’s guaranteed at least one of those if for some reason they go 1, 2, 3, 4, but I seriously doubt the first four picks will be third basemen with pitching being at a premium for the Backward Ks and the Bad News Bears keeping two top third basemen.
National League West
Backward Ks
2010 Record/Finish: 166-260-78/Sixth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 756-876-294 (.469)
Top Bats: Average and speed is where the Ks need to improve. Power is not. He’s got the big boppers in Ryan Howard, Pablo Sandoval, Tyler Colvin, Aaron Hill, Justin Upton and Shin-Soo Choo. He’s got a player for every position heading into 2011, so aside from a few back-ups, or possibly an speedy outfielder, I expect the Ks to work on his pitching staff in the draft. That, and maybe a few prospects.
Top Arms: John Lackey, Javier Vasquez and Mike Pelfrey are the keepers. It’s a top three the Mets wish they had, but it’s a top three the Ks wishes he could improve. Lackey is a 4 in Boston, so that may help him get some wins — especially with that offense — and Vasquez is back in the National League with a good Marlins club and he could easily have a better year than last.
On the Farm: SP Jordan Zimmerman and SP Clayton Richard are not your top dogs when it comes to pitching prospects, but they have potential. With a little luck, one or both of these guys can fill the void of a No. 1 starter. Outside of those two guys, The Ks will be looking to add some youth to build for the future.
Needs: Arms. And after that, a few more arms. The Backward Ks lack that No. 1 starter. John Lackey used to be that guy, but he didn’t have much success in Boston last season. The Ks have the No. 1 overall draft pick and he’ll surely use that pick for a pitcher — that or draft someone who he thinks he can trade for a good pitcher. Who knows what will happen after the draft, but the Ks face an upward battle this season. Luckily, with the new divisional setup, he’s away from the Slammers and Vandelay.
Ronald Duncan
2010 Record/Finish: 247-185-72/First in American League, moves to National League in 2011
Owner’s All-Time Record: First year as owner.
Top Bats: Ronald Duncan, a.k.a. Gina’s cousin Dave Walter, was the first of the two Gina cousins invited this offseason to respond, so he got the former Dolph’s Destroyers franchise. … And what a year to take it over. The Destroyers won 247 games and won the now-American League with a .562 winning percentage. The key offensively was a slew of home run hitters, RBIs hoarders and hit-for-average kings. Miguel Cabrera, Howie Kendrick, Ryan Zimmerman and Troy Tulowitzki make up one of the best infields in fantasy baseball. All are .300 hitters and the Duncans will get at least 110 homers, 350 RBIs and 35 stolen bases out of the quartet. The infield gets better with Kendry Morales as a back-up first baseman, who returns from the broken ankle to sit in the Duncans’ UTIL slot. Elvis Anrus is backing Tulo up at short and in the outfield, he has Alex Rios and Hunter Pence. Oh, and he has Matt Wieters, who I believe will have a huge offensive year with the Orioles improved lineup. Overall, this could be the best lineup in the League when all is said and done. And in the new National League West, he’s going to be a tough team to battle.
Top Arms: And the Duncans’ get even luckier in the pitching department. Even with the unfortunate loss of Adam Wainright (out for season with Tommy John surgery), he’s still in great shape. Most teams would be crippled with the loss of a 20-game winner. But the Duncans have Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander and Edison Volquez to fall back on. Carlos Marmol and Daniel Bard in the bullpen are even more reassuring that Duncan will be alright.
On the Farm: Andrus and Weiters are up and playing but they counted for the minor league system for the Duncans this season. He’ll be able to keep them as minor leaguers next season, too, which is nice to have, but they’ll have to solidify themselves to become franchise players once they get three years. Derek Holland also has a chance to step up for the Duncans.
Needs: It’s hard to believe this team needs anything, but he does not have a left fielder, so he’ll be looking for that in the draft, but with the lineup he has, he can afford to hold off and wait while he builds around King Felix and Verlander.
Team Suck
2010 Record/Finish: 210-226-68/Third in the division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 788-858-280 (.482)
Top Bats: Prince Fielder is clearly the star in this lineup, and Colby Rasmus is the up-and-coming star. Outside of that, Suck will be working to fill some holes in the lineup, especially at third base where he surprisingly let Mark Reynolds, Michael Young and Placido Polanco walk into free agency, as well as 1B Kevin Youkilis. He’s set at catcher with Carlos Ruiz, who will hit for average, and Russell Martin, who will fill in for the Yankees until Jesus Montero is ready.
Top Arms: This staff took a hit when Zack Greinke broke his rib, but it won’t sideline him for too long. Greinke, added with Matt Cain and Johnny Cueto will be a formidable trio for Team Suck. He’ll have to fill in the gaps, though, with no minor leaguers surrounding these guys. So Team Suck’s priority come draft day will be pitching.
On the Farm: No prospects, outside of Colby Rasmus, who is out of eligibility after this season.
Needs: Ironically, with the dropping of three third basemen, Team Suck needs a third baseman. He also could use a power outfielder and a speed utility player. He’ll also need to surround Greinke and Cain with a few No. 2 or 3 starters, especially with Greinke on the mend.
American League East
Bad News Bears
2010 Record/Finish: 157-253-94/Sixth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 511-741-260 (.424)
Top Bats: There are a few holes, namely in the outfield and at first base, but the Bad News Bears actually have a good core group of batters heading into 2011. Kurt Suzuki at catcher flies under the radar and he had a down year last season. He’ll be better in 2011, and Robinson Cano was arguably the best second basemen in baseball last season. The Bears also have two top prospects in 3B Pedro Alvarez and 1B/RF Garrett Jones. Both have power and will hit homers for the Bears. Brett Gardner will provide the speed and Aramis Ramirez will provide the surprise. The Bears traded for the prized third baseman a year ago, but it didn’t pan out as Ramirez had one of his worst seasons. I expect a bounce-back season from him. So don’t count the Bears out in the AL East.
Top Arms: Heading into 2011, the Bears have the best pitching staff that they’ve ever had in the franchise’s three years. C.C. Sabathia and Matt Garza were part of a 2009 three-team trade that required the Bears to give up just Brian McCann, and Rick Porcello was a draft pick last season who joined keeper Ryan Dempster. Add in the best closer in baseball in Mariano Rivera and all the Bears have to do is add a few quality arms and he’s in contention for a division title. Oh, and that’s if he remembers to set his lineup regularly, Alex!
On the Farm: As mentioned, Jones and Alvarez are up in the majors, but they qualify as minor leaguers. The Bears will have to look to add one or two prospects this year — either in the draft or as the season progresses — to continue to build a franchise that has gone from 185 wins to 169 to 157.
Needs: Outfield and first base. And with a strong starting rotation, he can afford to work on that in the early rounds of the draft.
N.J. Bombers
2010 Record/Finish: 228-190-86/Fourth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 672-605-235 (.522)
Top Bats: Like the Gamblers, the Bombers are loaded with power bats. A home run title could be attainable — appropriately — for the Bombers. With Adam Dunn, Jay Bruce, Evan Longoria and Justin Morneau, it’s very possible the Bombers could take a run at the JBL record for home runs (243). Even with all the power, the Bombers have hit-for-average guys, as well as speed with Jacoby Ellsbury, Austin Jackson and Denard Span.
Top Arms: Pitching is where the Bombers need to get better. It may be in the draft. It may be by sending off one of his many bats to a team with a decent amount of pitching. Whichever way, he needs someone to sure up the top of his rotation. Jered Weaver will be consistent, as usual, and Francisco Liriano had a great start to 2010, but injury issues and trade rumors surround the once-prized pitcher. Jaime Garcia and Tommy Hunter are both young and have the ability to step up this season, but with the aforementioned four pitchers being all that the Bombers have, it’s easy to see that a few of the top pitchers in the draft should be targeted by the Bombers. He’ll need that to match his AL East rival Sex Panthers, who have Josh Johnson, C.J. Wilson and Phil Hughes. The Bombers bullpen, however, is looking good with Heath Bell and Rafael Soriano sitting there — and Kyle didn’t have to pay $11M to get Soriano.
On the Farm: Austin Jackson is the best minor league prospect for the Bombers, and he’s already in the majors. He’ll have room after the draft to drop some FA duds on his roster and build up the farm.
Needs: Pitching and left field. He’ll likely have to address the pitching early, then find a nice bat in left field.
Sex Panthers
2010 Record/Finish: 643-620-249/Fifth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 643-620-249 (.508)
Top Bats: The Panthers should be back. Take away a summer planning for a wedding and this fantasy-hater will be a fantasy contender in the AL East. She won the batting title in 2009 with a .292 average and with Albert Pujols, Freddy Sanchez, Martin Prado, Nick Markakis and Delmon Young already on the roster, she’ll be right in the thick of things for another batting title. Her chances improve greatly if Derek Jeter (.270 batter last season) and Shane Victorino (.259 last season) return to their 2009 form — Jeter (.334) and Victorino (.292).
Top Arms: So she won the batting title in 2009. Then she added the pitching title in 2010 with a League-best 3.404 ERA. A big reason for that was Josh Johnson, who is a clear No. 1 on this squad. Add Johnson with Phil Hughes, who had a breakout year; C.J. Wilson, who had a surprise run of his own in Texas; and Trevor Cahill, who emerged in Oakland, and you have a formidable rotation before the draft even starts. Brad Lidge will be in the bullpen for the Panthers, despite how much she despises him and the Phillies. Nonetheless, when a team is hyped to have possibly more than 100 wins, you should be in good shape to have the closer of that team.
On the Farm: The Panthers have Matt LaPorta and Michael Brantley who each have two years experience with Cleveland, so this is their last chance to emerge as the top bats they were projected to be a few years ago. Otherwise, they’ll be free agents in fantasy baseball next offseason. One guy who won’t is Jesus Montero. The Panthers have one of the best catching prospects in all of baseball and someday he’ll play for the Yankees, or whichever team he is traded to if the Yankees finally decide a starting pitcher is worth more. His bat will be a great addition for the Panthers, who do not have a catcher at this point. If he leaves Florida with the Yankees and supplants Russell Martin, Gina will be one happy fantasy-hater. And pitching-wise, Trevor Cahill and Mike Leake will be nice to have around for the Panthers. Their development could create a solid third keeper behind Johnson and Hughes for the next two or three years.
Needs: Catcher. At this point, Montero is iffy to become the everyday catcher, even though he should in my opinion. That means she’ll be looking for someone to carry the load until then. That, and a few relievers and a younger shortstop to start grooming for the future because Jeter can’t play forever, can he?
American League West
Buck Robbins
2010 Record/Finish: 186-240-78/Fifth in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: New owner
Top Bats: The Red Sox were happy to get Adrian Gonzalez. Buck Robbins is happy to take over a team that has him after signing with the Sox. Take him out of Petco Park and give him a Monster in left and a Pesky Pole in right and Gonzo is going to go bonkers. With Robbins’ Dustin Pedroia surely to bat in front of him, it’s going to be a good offensive year. David Wright and Josh Hamilton will help, too, with the power, and prospect Desmond Jennings is said to be the next Carl Crawford in Tampa Bay. Now, if Buck can only get Alfonso Soriano to live up to half of his contract.
Top Arms: A starting four of Roy Oswalt, Jake Peavy, Tommy Hanson and Tim Lincecum is going to be a strong part of this team. He will easily get at least 60 wins out of them alone, along with about 700 strikeouts. Jonathan Papelbon is all alone in the bullpen right now, but that can be addressed in the draft.
On the Farm: Empty. Taking over a team that didn’t have any minor leaguers means Robbins will be starting from scratch. But fortunately, he has a strong core and will be in contention this season, giving him the chance to build up the farm.
Needs: Catcher. He’s one of the few teams that doesn’t have a catcher going into the 2011 draft. Only one other team doesn’t have a catcher (N.J. Bombers) and another has a prospect (Sex Panthers with Jesus Montero), so he’ll have to grab one before the rest of the league starts grabbing backups that would be suitable starters for his squad.
Gameday Gamblers
2010 Record/Finish: 236-188-80/Second in division/American League pennant/World Series title
Owner’s All-Time Record: 692-596-224 (.532)
Top Bats: Three MVPs and last season’s home run batting champion round out the Gamblers lineup in 2011 — and after we talk about those four players, we can talk about guys like Andre Ethier and Ryan Braun. Not bad, heading into the season with a group like that. Among those MVPs are Joe Mauer, Joey Votto and Alex Rodriguez, and all three should be solid again in 2011. Mauer is coming off of knee surgery, so it will be interesting to see what happens to him over the next few years, whether or not he is moved out from behind the plate or not. It’s hard to chose between who is the best bat on this team, but surely Votto and Mauer will be vying for the batting titles in both the NL and AL. For the Gamblers, he hopes they swing his way to his first division title. He’s got two World Series titles and two American League pennants, but he hasn’t won a division title yet. Maybe he can take advantage of the new format and not be the best team in the American League, but still win a division title.
Top Arms: He didn’t name his team the Gamblers for fun. It’s what Parker does. He gambles; whether it’s hours and hours of poker in Vegas (which he has survived an won a nice bundle of cash) or trading away a potential Cy Young winner, he’ll take the risk. Last season, he shipped off David Price and Dan Haren for Joey Votto. A boost in the lineup was nice, but his pitching staff took a major hit. Ubaldo Jimenez was god-like for about 10 starts last season before he returned to Earth. Clayton Kershaw is the Dodgers’ No. 1 pitcher, too, but those two No. 1s haven’t stepped up for a full season and proved themselves worthy of being in the same breath as a Roy Halladay, Felix Hernandez, Tim Lincecum or David Price. That’s what the Gamblers will need this year, is for one of them to step up. If not, he’s got a lot of hope in Aroldis Chapman, Madison Bumgarner and Wade Davis.
On the Farm: Aroldis Chapman and Stephen Strasburg stand out here, but Strasburg won’t return this season, so he’ll be “on the farm” for a bit. Bumgarner saw his first major league action last season and Davis is young, too, giving the Gamblers some players to hold on to and develop. There, however, are no bats on this farm, so the Gamblers should work on bringing in a bat or two. Perhaps at third base where on Alex Rodriguez is getting old.
Needs: No shortstops or center fielders on this team, so the Gamblers will be in search of a pair of speedy, hit-for-average guys at those positions because he’s already got the power categories figured out.
Stankinator
2010 Record/Finish: 229-185-90/Third in division
Owner’s All-Time Record: 687-594-231 (.531)
Top Bats: The Stankinator is now two years removed from winning the World Series. Since taking the 2008 title, the Stank has been battling to get back, but it’s been tough with the Gamblers — among others — in the way. The other was the loss of Jose Reyes, who was outstanding in 2008 for the Stank with .297 average, 113 runs, 204 hits, 19 triples, 16 homers, 68 RBIs and 56 stolen bases. Now, he’s off the roster after a few injury-filled seasons. Instead, the Stank is going with Miguel Tejada, who is getting up there in age, but is joining the Giants, who’s lineup seems to be getting better and better each day. Tejada will hit and he’ll drive in runs and he’ll be a big part of the Stank’s lineup. I also like a bounce-back year for Brian Roberts, and Mark Teixeira, Scott Rolen and Dan Uggla will provide the RBIs and the big hits (about 100 homers combined). The biggest thing for Stank is hoping that Jason Bay can return to form, and that catcher Miguel Montero will continue to develop in Arizona.
Top Arms: Chris Carpenter was the Stank’s No. 1 pick in the draft last season. He’s one of the best in the majors and he’ll continue to be a No. 1 for Stank. Now he just needs Chad Billingsley to pick up his game and hope Tim Hudson feeds off his comeback last year. Both Billingsley and Hudson will have ERAs in the mid-3s and 12 to 15 wins. Leo Nunez is in the bullpen for the Stank, which will provide some saves, but clearly he will be working on the bullpen and starting rotation in the draft.
On the Farm: The cupboard is basically empty. Domonic Brown is on the roster — and he’ll be on the DL for a little bit with the broken hand — but when he comes back, he’ll be on the Phillies roster. It will be big for the Stank if he can have Brown step into right field for him at some point during the season and provide some power.
Needs: The Stank needs to get a No. 2 or 3 pitcher to solidify his starting rotation. Two No. 2s or 3s would be even better. He also needs a center fielder, and a right fielder to hold the roster spot until Brown is healthy and ready. An influx of youth would be helpful, too. Six of eight batters in his keeper lineup are over the age of 30.
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