Scary fans should look in the mirror and question themselves

You have to really feel for this poor woman.

If it wasn't bad enough that her job requires her to stay through extra innings — 15 on this particular night — she has to stand next to this "Super Hero."

And let's talk about this Royal Caped Crusader.

What makes you put on a yellow cape, squeeze into an undersized costume and go to a ball game? Did he find this online and immediately declare with Spiderman confidence, "I'm going to lead my team to victory!"

Soon thereafter, he orders the suit and waits anxiously by the computer, checking the tracking number on his email account daily until it finally arrives.

He tears through the packing tape and pulls out the suit and cape thinking how he has to try it on right away. As soon as he forces himself into the spandex suit, someone — either in his life or in his head — told him this get-up looks good enough to wear to a Royals' game.

Fast forward a couple days and 11 innings, and this poor woman is caught on Fox Sports standing next to Captain Royal Pain in Her Ass, who will protect her with his lightning fast 9-1-1 dialing speed on his Blackberry.

This Avenger outtake isn't the only crazy thing I've caught on MLB.tv in the last week. I just randomly stumbled upon Texas puppet manager Ron Washington and he overly excited creator, let's just call him Geppetto.

Just think, Reds fans. If you don't like Dusty Baker, you could go for the Wash Puppet.

Reds jokes aside, how did Geppetto come to the decision that building and taking a Ron Washington puppet to the ball game was a great idea?

It's creepy. I mean, real creepy.

Both Captain Royal and Geppetto should have been stopped at the gates and turned away.

We have security checking us for weapons and items that could become weapons after seven innings of drinking, so why not have a second layer of security that decides whether or not you are going to make a fool of yourself.

Just think, the Chicago Cubs could keep guys  →
who look like this from entering the ballpark.

That would have saved them a lot of headaches back in 2003.

Nevertheless, my satirical new security measure is obviously impossible.

That is why it is up to us as fans to ask ourselves before we leave for the ballpark, "How dumb is this?" or "Will Tosh.O potentially have me on his show for a Web Redemption?"

Those two questions, when answered honestly, should have prevented two of the three pictures above from being taken.

Sorry, Cubs fans. Bartman was attending no matter what.