And like that, Maurice Jones-Drew is another casualty of the holdout blues.
Chris Johnson didn’t fair too well, and now, after just one TD and one 100-yard game in the first seven weeks of the season, Jones-Drew is on the shelf with an injury.
And Jawz Attack is on the lookout for potential running backs because he’s running out of options. Shonn Greene is now the top starter, and we all know Greene had his one good week already.
World of Noise can feel his pain as injuries have him hard, too.
Injuries are killing a few teams this season, while other teams are just flourishing.
Five teams sit at 5-2, including two in the NFC West — sorry Generals — while five teams sit at 2-5 — sorry again Generals.
That leaves two teams, Real Houserville at 4-3 and Jawz Attack at 3-4.
It’s quite the different look to the JFL as we head into Week 8. I certainly don’t remember this kind of gap. The winning teams keep winning and the losing teams keep losing.
This will have to change a bit soon because the losing teams will have to start playing each other.
In the NFC, with three 5-2 and three 2-5 teams, it’s going to be tough for any of the 2-5 teams to make the playoffs at this point. With six games left, these next two weeks are do-or-die for these teams. They have to get to 5-5 or at least 4-6 to have a chance.
Three more losses — in other words, reaching seven losses — will definitely end their season this year.
Dottsville Toasters 116.5, Fear and Loathing 72.9
The Toasters’ savior and his one-time Super Bowl season MVP nearly outscored Fear by themselves.
They were just 7.5 points shy, scoring a combined 65.4 points.
RG3 had 31.4 points in a loss to the Giants while Chris Johnson scored 34 points, thanks to two touchdowns and 195 yards, to lead the Toasters past Fear. Johnson has now reached double-digits in the three games that he’s received 18 or more carries. In the four games where he’s had 15 or less carries, he’s scored a combined 14.7 points.
So what are the Toasters saying next week? Give CJ2K the rock.
Which makes me move on to my next subject. What’s up with the acronyms including numbers for the Toasters?
He has RG3 and CJ2K. He might as well add R2D2 and C3PO to his roster.
Boo boo bee boo bop.
Yes, I know R2. Megatron would be much better if he had numbers on his nickname, because he sure as hell isn’t putting up any numbers on the field. The man who had eight touchdowns in the first four weeks of 2011 has just 1 through seven weeks.
It’s not what the Toasters expected when he made him a keeper.
If he can get Calvin Johnson going, the Toasters may become a serious threat for a second Super Bowl title.
Chinese Organ Thieves 106.4, T-Money 102.3
I have to be honest.
I had my doubts.
I wasn’t sure the keeper selection of Adrian Peterson was the greatest of ideas. I expressed my concerns with his ACL injury and returning too soon, but he’s been excellent with double-digit performances in six of seven weeks, including two 20-plus-point games.
He added the second with a 22.3-point performance on Sunday, lifting the Thieves past the Money Man — just barely.
Peterson, who is ranked No. 4 in the JFL at RB, has been ridiculous and he’s a big reason why the Thieves are 5-2.
Another reason why he got his fifth win was Rob Gronkowksi, who came up one touchdown short of my prediction. He scored twice and had 78 yards to score 21 points, his first big week of the season.
When the Thieves drafted him in the first round, he was expecting a bit more from him, but that wasn’t the case until this week.
But if Gronk uses this week as a launching pad, the Thieves will definitely take it.
As for T-Money, he made all the right moves except at WR where he had three double-digit performers on the bench with two single-digit players chilling in the starting lineup.
Reggie Wayne, who had 8.5 points, deserved the start, but I’m surprised Steve Johnson got the benching considering the fact that everyone thought the Titans and Bills game was going to be a shootout. It was and Johnson scored 14.1, the points needed to beat the Thieves.
He also could have won had Tony Romo not been the quarterback that has scored in the teens four times this season. After a 35.2-point week that shut me up in Week 1, Romo has been everything I predicted — and everything Jerry Jones didn’t want to see.
Channel 4 News Team 143.5, Jawz Attack 74.9
All I had to say in the preview was Aaron Rodgers.
I amended that statement and added Arian Foster to the preview and ended it right there.
Well, here’s my recap:
Aaron Rodgers, 35 points; Arian Foster 22.5 points.
Enough said.
Spacklers and Company 107, World of Noise 97.7
Boyer has to be proud of his new assistant GM. He’s 1-0 with the little guy picking up some of the slack.
Maybe the assistant GM could make the draft next year?
That would be sweet.
Either way, the new assistant GM surely has a full-time role now after the big win and he now brings our “Baby Total” in the JFL to two: Mr. Russel Henry Boyer and Mike Dawson.
(Man, I hope Dawson reads all the recaps and not just his.)
I assume he’ll read this one because it involves the Noise, who once again fell short of 100 points.
It was a killer bye week for the Noise with Robert Meachem out.
…
And Matt Ryan, Michael Turner and DeSean Jackson, too. They, of course, were the really killers.
Then again, with them in the lineup, he’s still averaging less than 100 points, so who’s to say he would have won?
The Spacklers covered up all the holes in his lineup with a 30-point showing from Vincent Jackson, who caught seven passes for 216 yards and a TD. Jackson has had four big weeks this season and he’d be a sure-fire MVP if the Spacklers were winning weekly.
But hey, they’re not looking at 2-5. They’re looking at 1-0. Next week, the Spacklers and Company will patch up some more drywall and look to go 2-0.
Sunday Slackers 121.8, Real Houserville 107.8
Houserville had five double-digit performances, but it wasn’t enough to beat Drew Brees.
The machine that is Brees scored more than 40 fantasy points in the first half of Sunday’s game, causing the Slackers to get giddy and prematurely ask about JFL quarterback scoring records.
Well, that backfired as Brees set a JFL record for worst second-half performance after scoring 40 first-half points.
How’s that for records, Parker?
Randall Cobb didn’t set any records, but his 25.9 points were big, too. They helped the Slackers move to 5-2 and now 15-5 over his last 20 regular-season games.
Right now, his squad looks solid enough to contend for the AFC title.
Houserville’s team looks really good, too, but he’s just had a few tough weeks here. The lineup, though, is too good to post a huge losing streak. As long as Houserville doesn’t over-react — you know, like trade Wes Welker — he’ll win some more games and keep pace with Fear and Loathing.
Graybill’s Generals 107.4, Jimmy Jammers 91
Is there a reason why you saved your own recap for last, Jimmy?
Is there a reason why you’re talking in the third person, Jimmy?
What? Can’t I just randomly select recap orders?
I guess not.
Shut up, me.
I’m mad at you. Why the hell would you keep Matthew Stafford over Matt Ryan? Why? It’s not like he threw for 5,000 yards last season. It’s not like he won you a Super Bowl.
Wait? He did?
Then what the hell is going on this year?
Why are you scoring point totals that would lose to your brother? He’s awful.
How are you losing to a LeSean McCoy-less Generals team?
Well, I’ll tell you if you’d just shut up for a second.
Everything was fine. The points were not coming in, but I was going to survive this week where my top wideout, tight end and running back were on the bye. I had a decent lead and the Generals were running out of players.
But then, that RG3 guy had to score a go-ahead TD with too much time left on the clock.
And then the Redskins secondary took a First Presidential Debate Obama Sleeping Pill and let Victor Cruz score a 77-point TD. Double points for the Generals. Big double points.
In fact, the TD was a 27.4-point touchdown. Most players get six points and a few yards for a TD. The Generals got nearly 30 points from one TD.
The Jammers had no such luck.
And now at 2-5, the worst start in franchise history and two losses away from tying a franchise record for losses in a single season.
It ties the Generals for the worst start after winning the Super Bowl. The Generals wound up starting 2-6 before finishing 5-8 that season.
The Jammers hopes to avoid that all together and go on a winning streak. If the Jammers doesn’t, it will be the first time in JFL history that the Jammers misses the playoffs.
Chris Johnson didn’t fair too well, and now, after just one TD and one 100-yard game in the first seven weeks of the season, Jones-Drew is on the shelf with an injury.
And Jawz Attack is on the lookout for potential running backs because he’s running out of options. Shonn Greene is now the top starter, and we all know Greene had his one good week already.
World of Noise can feel his pain as injuries have him hard, too.
Injuries are killing a few teams this season, while other teams are just flourishing.
Five teams sit at 5-2, including two in the NFC West — sorry Generals — while five teams sit at 2-5 — sorry again Generals.
That leaves two teams, Real Houserville at 4-3 and Jawz Attack at 3-4.
It’s quite the different look to the JFL as we head into Week 8. I certainly don’t remember this kind of gap. The winning teams keep winning and the losing teams keep losing.
This will have to change a bit soon because the losing teams will have to start playing each other.
In the NFC, with three 5-2 and three 2-5 teams, it’s going to be tough for any of the 2-5 teams to make the playoffs at this point. With six games left, these next two weeks are do-or-die for these teams. They have to get to 5-5 or at least 4-6 to have a chance.
Three more losses — in other words, reaching seven losses — will definitely end their season this year.
Dottsville Toasters 116.5, Fear and Loathing 72.9
The Toasters’ savior and his one-time Super Bowl season MVP nearly outscored Fear by themselves.
They were just 7.5 points shy, scoring a combined 65.4 points.
RG3 had 31.4 points in a loss to the Giants while Chris Johnson scored 34 points, thanks to two touchdowns and 195 yards, to lead the Toasters past Fear. Johnson has now reached double-digits in the three games that he’s received 18 or more carries. In the four games where he’s had 15 or less carries, he’s scored a combined 14.7 points.
So what are the Toasters saying next week? Give CJ2K the rock.
Which makes me move on to my next subject. What’s up with the acronyms including numbers for the Toasters?
He has RG3 and CJ2K. He might as well add R2D2 and C3PO to his roster.Boo boo bee boo bop.
Yes, I know R2. Megatron would be much better if he had numbers on his nickname, because he sure as hell isn’t putting up any numbers on the field. The man who had eight touchdowns in the first four weeks of 2011 has just 1 through seven weeks.
It’s not what the Toasters expected when he made him a keeper.
If he can get Calvin Johnson going, the Toasters may become a serious threat for a second Super Bowl title.
Chinese Organ Thieves 106.4, T-Money 102.3
I have to be honest.
I had my doubts.
I wasn’t sure the keeper selection of Adrian Peterson was the greatest of ideas. I expressed my concerns with his ACL injury and returning too soon, but he’s been excellent with double-digit performances in six of seven weeks, including two 20-plus-point games.
He added the second with a 22.3-point performance on Sunday, lifting the Thieves past the Money Man — just barely.
Peterson, who is ranked No. 4 in the JFL at RB, has been ridiculous and he’s a big reason why the Thieves are 5-2.
Another reason why he got his fifth win was Rob Gronkowksi, who came up one touchdown short of my prediction. He scored twice and had 78 yards to score 21 points, his first big week of the season.
When the Thieves drafted him in the first round, he was expecting a bit more from him, but that wasn’t the case until this week.
But if Gronk uses this week as a launching pad, the Thieves will definitely take it.
As for T-Money, he made all the right moves except at WR where he had three double-digit performers on the bench with two single-digit players chilling in the starting lineup.
Reggie Wayne, who had 8.5 points, deserved the start, but I’m surprised Steve Johnson got the benching considering the fact that everyone thought the Titans and Bills game was going to be a shootout. It was and Johnson scored 14.1, the points needed to beat the Thieves.
He also could have won had Tony Romo not been the quarterback that has scored in the teens four times this season. After a 35.2-point week that shut me up in Week 1, Romo has been everything I predicted — and everything Jerry Jones didn’t want to see.
Channel 4 News Team 143.5, Jawz Attack 74.9
All I had to say in the preview was Aaron Rodgers.
I amended that statement and added Arian Foster to the preview and ended it right there.
Well, here’s my recap:
Aaron Rodgers, 35 points; Arian Foster 22.5 points.
Enough said.
Spacklers and Company 107, World of Noise 97.7
Boyer has to be proud of his new assistant GM. He’s 1-0 with the little guy picking up some of the slack.
Maybe the assistant GM could make the draft next year?
That would be sweet.
Either way, the new assistant GM surely has a full-time role now after the big win and he now brings our “Baby Total” in the JFL to two: Mr. Russel Henry Boyer and Mike Dawson.
(Man, I hope Dawson reads all the recaps and not just his.)
I assume he’ll read this one because it involves the Noise, who once again fell short of 100 points.
It was a killer bye week for the Noise with Robert Meachem out.
…
And Matt Ryan, Michael Turner and DeSean Jackson, too. They, of course, were the really killers.
Then again, with them in the lineup, he’s still averaging less than 100 points, so who’s to say he would have won?
The Spacklers covered up all the holes in his lineup with a 30-point showing from Vincent Jackson, who caught seven passes for 216 yards and a TD. Jackson has had four big weeks this season and he’d be a sure-fire MVP if the Spacklers were winning weekly.
But hey, they’re not looking at 2-5. They’re looking at 1-0. Next week, the Spacklers and Company will patch up some more drywall and look to go 2-0.
Sunday Slackers 121.8, Real Houserville 107.8
Houserville had five double-digit performances, but it wasn’t enough to beat Drew Brees.
The machine that is Brees scored more than 40 fantasy points in the first half of Sunday’s game, causing the Slackers to get giddy and prematurely ask about JFL quarterback scoring records.
Well, that backfired as Brees set a JFL record for worst second-half performance after scoring 40 first-half points.
How’s that for records, Parker?
Randall Cobb didn’t set any records, but his 25.9 points were big, too. They helped the Slackers move to 5-2 and now 15-5 over his last 20 regular-season games.
Right now, his squad looks solid enough to contend for the AFC title.
Houserville’s team looks really good, too, but he’s just had a few tough weeks here. The lineup, though, is too good to post a huge losing streak. As long as Houserville doesn’t over-react — you know, like trade Wes Welker — he’ll win some more games and keep pace with Fear and Loathing.
Graybill’s Generals 107.4, Jimmy Jammers 91
Is there a reason why you saved your own recap for last, Jimmy?
Is there a reason why you’re talking in the third person, Jimmy?
What? Can’t I just randomly select recap orders?
I guess not.
Shut up, me.
I’m mad at you. Why the hell would you keep Matthew Stafford over Matt Ryan? Why? It’s not like he threw for 5,000 yards last season. It’s not like he won you a Super Bowl.
Wait? He did?
Then what the hell is going on this year?
Why are you scoring point totals that would lose to your brother? He’s awful.
How are you losing to a LeSean McCoy-less Generals team?
Well, I’ll tell you if you’d just shut up for a second.
Everything was fine. The points were not coming in, but I was going to survive this week where my top wideout, tight end and running back were on the bye. I had a decent lead and the Generals were running out of players.
But then, that RG3 guy had to score a go-ahead TD with too much time left on the clock.
And then the Redskins secondary took a First Presidential Debate Obama Sleeping Pill and let Victor Cruz score a 77-point TD. Double points for the Generals. Big double points.
In fact, the TD was a 27.4-point touchdown. Most players get six points and a few yards for a TD. The Generals got nearly 30 points from one TD.
The Jammers had no such luck.
And now at 2-5, the worst start in franchise history and two losses away from tying a franchise record for losses in a single season.
It ties the Generals for the worst start after winning the Super Bowl. The Generals wound up starting 2-6 before finishing 5-8 that season.
The Jammers hopes to avoid that all together and go on a winning streak. If the Jammers doesn’t, it will be the first time in JFL history that the Jammers misses the playoffs.
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