And this year will be quite the battle. I selected Jimmy Graham not just because he’s a matchup difference maker, but because I can finally combat Brees. For years, I’ve watched him drop 40 points on me — including a pair of ridiculous Monday Night Football comebacks.
Brees doesn’t play on Monday night in Week 2 or 11 — our two matchups — but he does play the Bengals in Week 11, to create an interesting scenario.
I could roll with Andy Dalton while the Slackers throw out A.J. Green, and as mentioned, I’d have Graham to take away points from Brees. That could make for a fun matchup.
That’s a lot of talk about the Jammers and Slackers. We’re not alone in this division, and the newcomers, Choo and Jerk, are not going to lie down. They will certainly present a challenge after decent drafts; I’m just not sure it will be enough. Based on the rosters at this point, I’d pick the Slackers to win the division and the Jammers to contend for the wild card. It won’t be a given with three really good teams in the AFC North.
Sunday Slackers
2013 Record, Finish: 5-8
Career Record: 40-42-1
Outlook
“Man, 2012 was a great year,” says the owner of the Slackers, rocking on his porch drinking lemonade. At his feet sat a box, taped up to perfection. Looking at the name above the address made him cringe. The desire to open the parcel burned deep inside, but he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t be like Josh Gordon. So, wearing his Ray Rice jersey, he dragged the box to the local post office, slapped a few stamps on it and sent it on its way.
“Goodbye, my love.”
And with that, the JFL trophy was gone.
The Slackers missed it so much, he decided to dig deep and draft as many 2012 JFL Champions as he could. First, he started with his keeper Drew Brees. Then, it was A.J. Green and Torrey Smith. He couldn’t get Mark Ingram, so he went with the next best New Orleans RB, Pierre Thomas.
And, of course, what team isn’t complete without its kicker. Yes, he even brought back his kicker from 2012, Matt Bryant.
Of course, there are a few out there he couldn’t bring back, namely Reggie Bush, Ray Rice and Randall Cobb, but you know he wanted to. Especially Rice. He hounded me all night after drafting him, and you know deep down, it was because he owns a Ray Rice jersey.
So will this reboot of 2012 work? Perhaps. Running back will be the key because we know what to expect out of Brees and Green.
If I can’t give Peyton Manning six stars, Drew Brees can’t get it either; but, boy, does he deserve it. With 5,162 yards and 35 TDs (a QB rating of 104.7) in 2013, Brees makes us all jealous. He had seven games of 30 or more points, six with 39 or more and two with 50 or more. Sadly for the Slackers, his best Sunday came in Week 17 when he dropped 55.8 points.
Matt Schaub is the backup and that’s where he’ll stay. Unless, of course, Brees gets injured. … I might add, Brees is 35. He’s slowly creeping up there.
And it’s at this moment that I realize I turn 32 in a few days and I’m talking about a 35-year-old being almost done. Man, where did my life go?
Running Backs ★★★☆½
Alfred Morris? Pssh, that’s a homer move. A Washington fan grabbing the team's starting back. He did have nine double-digit games last year, but it was nothing spectacular. He went over 14 points only four times and never hit 19.
I do not expect Washington to have that great of a year, so I imagine they’ll be playing from behind, which will keep Morris off the field. With only nine catches last year, you can understand what I’m saying.
Pierre Thomas isn’t much better in a Saints offense that is Jimmy Graham and the rest. Thomas had only five double-digit games last year. He had two really good games and they came when he caught TD passes — go figure.
The RB that may be the most productive is the guy who amassed 1,034 all-purpose yards and eight TDs, Danny Woodhead. But I can’t see the Slackers starting him until it’s too late. He likes Washington way too much. His other two backs aren’t worth the ink I’m not wasting to post these blogs.
Wide Receivers ★★★★☆
This could be five stars. I took one away because of Torrey Smith, and when I say because “of Torrey Smith,” I mean because of Joe Flacco. He could only get the ball to Smith for four TDs in 2013 and until Flacco proves otherwise, I’m not sure how effective Smith will be.
If Flacco’s game returns, then in turn, Smith will become very valuable, and with A.J. Green on the roster (1,426 yards and 11 TDs last year), there’s no telling how many points this duo could score. Add in Kenny Britt, who surprisingly isn’t suspended, and there’s potential for another big play WR.
Britt, however, took a hit when Sam Bradford went down. He’ll have to work with Shaun Hill. Nevertheless, there is talent still there with Britt. If he just shuts up and plays, he can explode.
Marqise Lee and Mohamed Sanu, eh, they play WR. That’s about it.
Tight Ends ★★★½☆
Jason Witten has been off his game. Only six double-digit games last year, but the targets are still there. With that, there’s no reason to suspect that he shouldn’t see a number of red zone chances. The Slackers will hope that he can raise his TD levels back to where they use to be.
If not, it’s off to my fantasy Week 1 star of 2013, Jared Cook. He blew up in Week 1 and bought a plane ticket to Hawaii. I hope he enjoyed that vacation.
Jimmy Jammers
2013 Record, Finish: 7-6 (7-7 overall), lost in AFC Wild Card
Career Record: 74-44
Outlook
This is the part where I get to grade myself. Seems legit, right? It’s so American of me. I should move my blog to Canada so I can give myself some even bigger breaks.
So, what do I think of the 2014 Jammers? Of course, I love them. You might think I’m crazy, but I left the draft pretty satisfied. Yes, RB may be a bit shaky, but I have faith in Ray Rice coming back in Week 2.
And I’m not worried about starting 0-2. Channel 4 News Team has proved that even 0-5 teams can go to the Super Bowl.
Maybe, I’ll even see him there. I hear there's a 12 percent chance of that.
Five stars? Come on, Jimmy. Now I know this whole thing isn't credible.
But wouldn’t you be happy with the No. 3 and No. 5 ranked QBs from 2013? Together, they threw for more than 8,950 yards and 62 TDs. Of course, I can’t start them both, but playing the matchups is going to be fun.
Both were on my team last year and I was hoping to just get one of them back. I was aiming for Dalton in the fifth round, and I had fully planned on him being my first QB taken, but when Stafford fell to me at 23rd overall, I had to take him. Even if it meant sacrificing my RB situation.
Then, the third QB I had my eyes on, yes, I somehow got the three I targeted, Blake Bortles was still available in the 17th round, and at that point, it’s either a backup defense or a potential 17th-round keeper for 2015!
OK, that’s getting a little ahead of myself considering he’s not even starting, but he did look damn good this preseason, and I’m excited. If he somehow takes over for Chad Henne and plays really well, I may just get another RB after all.
Running Backs ★½☆☆☆
Did I just regain some credibility? Yes, 1.5 stars is all I get at RB. I do love Ray Rice to come back and be strong, but the fact is, he’s out for two weeks and he only had 660 yards and four TDs last year. He did have another 321 yards receiving, but still, it was a down year. He averaged only 3.2 yards a carry and that raises the level of concern.
With Rice down, you would have expected me to pick up a viable starter, right?
Yes, me too. But I didn’t like any of them.
Two guys I did like — and both were targets of mine — Terrance West and Devonta Freeman. The latter is just because of Hard Knocks. He’s fast. But the former, West, is an insane talent. I’ve had my eye on him longer than most. It appears that a lot of fantasy gurus had him as a sleeper, but I didn’t pick him because I read a magazine.
I picked him because I cut his highlights. Covering FCS football is my day job, and so I’ve seen what this kid can do. This guy torched the FCS for 4,854 yards and 84 TDs in three seasons. He had 2,509 yards and 41 TDs alone last year!
He left after his junior season to go into the NFL, and I knew immediately, I wanted him on my fantasy team. That urge lessened a bit when I found out he was going to the Browns, but still, this means he has a chance to start. Ben Tate has been injured and not playing well, while the rookie has looked pretty good. He’s already expected to get a number of carries from the start, so I’m ready to role with him in Week 1.
Maybe he can turn that 1.5 stars into 4 by Week 2.
Wide Receivers ★★★★☆
I would have liked five stars here, but Julio Jones was just too popular. It’s really a shame he got hurt last season. The duo of Dez Bryant and Jones was so lethal.
Alas, it is Bryant who returns, and this year, he’s joined by Jeremy Maclin and Tavon Austin. Bryant had 1,233 yards and 13 TDs last year with 11 double-digit games, so I would expect nothing less from him this year.
Maclin missed the entire year due to injury, but taking over with DeSean Jackson gone should give him some chances to score fantasy points in the high-powered Eagles offense. Austin was explosive at times last year, and I was hoping for a breakout in 2014, but Bradford’s weak ACL ruined that. Austin had 62 fantasy points in three games and 19 in the rest. That can’t continue.
If it does, then it may be up to Stevie Johnson and/or Harry Douglas. I like both wideouts, Johnson more than most. It’s not because we share the same last name, but rather, it’s because of his new environment. Away from crappy Buffalo where he managed to have some success, he now has a QB and an offense to roll with. With Michael Crabtree and Anquan Boldin also on the team, he could really benefit in the three-WR sets when he’s going up against nickel corners, linebackers and/or safeties. Call me crazy, but Johnson may be in for a big year.
Then, there's Josh Gordon. I had sent letters to the NFL commissioner every day to keep his suspension to maybe six or eight games, but it didn't work. Oh well, he'll stick around for the time being.
Tight Ends ★★★★★
I did something that I would tear the World of Noise a new one for doing in prior years. I drafted a tight end in the first round. But, after my only other first-round target, LeSean McCoy left the draft board, I had no choice. I needed Jimmy Graham. He had 1,215 yards and 16 TDs last year. He’s a matchup difference maker. He had 12 double-digit games last year, including six games with 19 or more points. With those numbers, even if I struggle at RB, as long as my TE outscores the other team’s TE by 10 points, I may even things up.
Think about it this way. Houserville won only five games last year. He was 3-1 when Jimmy Graham scored 20 points. He would have won more games if the rest of his team didn’t fall apart.
With Stafford/Dalton, Bryant and Graham, there’s the danger of getting 60-plus points from the trio on any given week. From there, it will be up to the rest of the team to get me to 100.
Choo Big TDs
2013 Record, Finish: 0-0
Career Record: 0-0
Outlook
For claiming that he was going to suck at fantasy football, Choo actually didn’t do too poorly in the draft. He may have an issue at WR and TE, but he’s got a lot of RBs to work with and a QB that I like to bounce back in Colin Kaepernick.
Maybe he can even trade one of those RBs for a viable second WR?
Hmm. If only I knew someone looking for an RB.
Choo has the potential to be a good team, but in a division two teams owning three Super Bowl titles and the only division titles ever won in the division, it will be tough.
I really like Colin Kaepernick to score more in 2014. He had 3,197 yards and 21 TDs passing to go with 524 yards and four TDs rushing. Fantasy owners last year would tell you that wasn’t enough, and I’d agree. He killed owners all over, including our dear Graybill’s Generals.
Choo takes over control of the Niners QB and I think he’ll get a much better season out of him. With the trio of WRs Michael Crabtree, Anquan Boldin and Stevie Johnson to go with Vernon Davis, I see no reason why he doesn’t reach 30-plus TDs this year. Toss in another five or so rushing TDs, and Choo will be in good shape at QB.
He also made an interesting grab taking Kirk Cousins. I’m not big on RGIII and there have been calls in D.C. to start Cousins. If it doesn’t happen by Week 8 — Kaepernick’s bye week — Choo will have to make a move. But it’s the Choo. In baseball, all he does is make moves!
Running Backs ★★★★☆
Choo did well at the RB position, grabbing four RBs who will be in positions to score legitimate points.
Zac Stacy was the waiver wire gem last year, rushing for 953 yards and seven TDs, while Frank Gore remained Mr. Consistent, posting 11 double-digit games with 1,128 yards and nine TDs. Steven Jackson missed a good portion of 2013, but he still managed six double-digit games and he helped the Noise make the Super Bowl.
The fourth guy is Mark Ingram, and as I mentioned with Pierre Thomas, how can you truly trust a New Orleans RB? They’re never going to commit to the run, so you’ll see a few big games, but will you actually start him when you see them?
Brandon Bolden also is on the roster, but as long as he remains in New England, he float in the RB wasteland that is Bill Belichick’s offense.
Wide Receivers ★★★☆☆
If only Choo could start three RBs because there’s really only one WR worth starting every week, and that’s Demaryius Thomas. He was a beast last year with 1,430 yards and 14 TDs, and while I think he’ll still get over 1,000 yards, I think he’ll lose some targets to Emmanuel Sanders and Julius Thomas (that’s music to the ears of the Organ Thieves).
Still, Demaryius Thomas will be a mainstay in the lineup.
Doug Baldwin, Hakeem Nicks, Odell Beckham, Denarius Moore and Nate Burleson will battle for the other spot.
Ideally, Choo would like to get a resurgence from Nicks, who now with the Colts has Andrew Luck to toss him the ball. He didn’t score a TD last year, but that was with a battered Eli Manning. Maybe Luck can can change that.
The other guys? Not worth talking about at this point. It will be all about playing the right matchups, which Choo has proven he can do in baseball. Can he do it in the JFL?
Tight Ends ★☆☆☆☆
Jordan Reed and Eric Ebron. I’ll give you a second to go look them up. Hopefully, when you return, you will forget where you were at and just start reading about the Jerks' team below.
Jerkin’ My Kirk Herbstreit
2013 Record, Finish: 0-0
Career Record: 0-0
Outlook
At first glance of the Jerk’s lineup, you immediately see the issue. Eli Manning, Teddy Bridgewater, Johnny Manziel. One is a troubled starter; the others aren’t starting, not yet, at least.
But if that position turns around for him, watch out. Matt Forte, a quartet of WRs and a big tight end could allow the Jerk to surprise the AFC East.
He was picked last with no first-place votes, and considering the division, I understand it, but he’s got some serious talent and I’d be a tad worried if I were in his division. Oh, wait, I am. That's why I have him finishing third, not last, like most of the JFL voted.
Quarterbacks ★★☆☆☆
Eli Manning has had some good fantasy years. Last year was not one of them. He did amass 3,818 yards, but only 18 TDs to his 27 INTs killed owners. The Jerks will look for more of a 2012-type season when Manning had 3,948 yards, 26 TDs and only 15 INTs.
If he doesn’t get that, then he’s praying for one of his two rookies to take over. Teddy Bridgewater has looked good in camp, but the Vikings still want to bring him along slowly, so he’ll be on the bench to start the year.
Johnny Manziel couldn’t keep his finger down and he couldn’t win the starting gig in Cleveland. Nevertheless, he’ll see the field before Bridgewater because the Browns plan on using him in certain packages. If Manziel can take the starting job over and become somewhat effective, his rushing stats will raise his value, a la Tim Tebow that one year — emphasize "one year" — in Denver.
Until then, though, it’s Manning. We just don’t know which one.
Matt Forte is a PPR stud and I let him go. I don’t know why, I just wasn’t feeling it. Still, I’m not going to let my gut feeling get in the way of the ratings. Jerk gets five stars here. Forte had 14 double-digit games with 1,339 yards and nine TDs. If he does that again, Jerk will be just fine.
And he may even start a pair of RBs if Knowshon Moreno can duplicate what he did in Denver as a Dolphin. Last year, he was ranked fourth in RBs with 1,038 yards and 10 TDs rushing, and another 548 yards and three TDs receiving. Without Peyton Manning, the receiving numbers may drop, but Ryan Tannehill is talented enough to get him the ball, too.
Sleeper pick Christine Michael is quietly waiting to see if Marshawn Lynch goes down.
Wide Receivers ★★★★☆
I’m leaving this a star short of five stars, but it was tough. T.Y. Hilton, Randall Cobb, Keenan Allen and Marques Colston are quite the foursome. The first three mentioned will likely start each week. Cobb is returning from injury and as we saw in his return in Week 17 last year (2 TDs, 19.9 fantasy points), he’s ready. Allen had seven double-digit games, with eight TDs, including five down the stretch in his rookie year. Some are calling for a breakout, and man, would that be big.
Hilton also has that breakout potential, and I thought we’d see it last year, but he was inconsistent. He had his big games — mostly on my bench — and he had his small games — mostly in my starting lineup. In total, he had 1,083 yards and five TDs. What stands out is 261 yards and all five TDs game in two games. Yes, you guessed it. He never scored a TD for me last year. Thanks, T.Y.
Colston is always an interesting grab, but Brees never stays with the same WR for long. Last year, his totals dipped to five TDs after a resurgence in 2012. So, who really knows what he’ll do this year. Still, when Brees is tossing 35-40 TDs passes a year, it can’t hurt to have one of the WRs.
Tight Ends ★★★½☆
Jerk must have looked at height charts instead of depth charts. He grabbed a pair of 6-5 tight ends in Jordan Cameron and Jace Amaro. Cameron stormed out of the gates in 2013, scoring four double-digit games with 30 receptions, 360 yards and five TDs. He finished with 86 catches, 917 yards and seven TDs. His QB situation hasn’t helped, but we know he’s got the talent to make the big plays, so if there’s decent QB play, he may just be a great pick.
Amaro is interesting as well, after setting all sorts of FBS tight end records. Now, he’ll just need Geno Smith to throw the ball to the right team. That may be asking too much.
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