Rumor has it that someone isn’t going to make it home from
Atlantic City this weekend.
It’s the great Double Bachelor Party for a pair of
Pittsburgh friends, and we’re all going to A.C. Expectations are high. We are
going to close whatever casinos remain open.
And my drive home from A.C. should be fun. I’m going to be
listening to my Sirius radio, trying to track as many fantasy accomplishments
while driving. At 4-0, I’m not in desperate need of a win like the Graybill’s
Generals, but damn, do I want one this week.
I do not want to lose to my brother. I’m 8-2 against his
sham of a franchise and I plan to move to 9-2.
If I do, I’ll be 5-0, and I won’t be alone. Fear has the
Slackers, and with the way his team has played, I don’t see how he loses this
week. His team is just in another world right now, but we’ll get to that in the
capsules.
Other interesting notes, looking at the NFC, seven of eight
teams in the conference are 2-2, so there is a bunch of 2-2 vs. 2-2 games this
week. The only one not fitting in that category is the Graybill’s Generals
(0-4) vs. the Philly Cheese Steaks.
So will the Generals will win this week?
Let’s break it down!
PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS
(2-2) at GRAYBILL’S GENERALS (0-4)
History: First
meeting.
LIMITED BACKS:
Andre Ellington and Arian Foster were both questionable as of Thursday night
and they had been limited in practices during the week. If one or both can’t go
on Sunday, the Cheese Steaks will scramble to make up the points. … But then
again, he may be OK. LeSean McCoy and Eddie Lacy are not injured, but they’ve
been limited in other ways. McCoy just hasn’t gotten it going and perhaps St.
Louis, he’ll finally do just that. As an Eagles fan, the Steaks will just hope
that Nick Foles and Darren Sproles do all the work. AFTER THE FACT NOTE: Lacy hit double digits Thursday night,
scoring twice in the third quarter, giving the Generals an early lead. McCoy,
it’s your turn.
CRUZ CONTROL: In
back-to-back weeks, Victor Cruz has hit 100-plus yards and double-digit fantasy
points. It was a welcoming sign for the Generals and he’ll hope that the Giants
can keep it rolling against the Falcons who have given up some serious points
to WRs.
‘PLAY 60 KID’ IS
WARMING UP: Cam Newton better get it together. With 23.9, 18.2 and 16.2
points in consecutive weeks, the Generals have to be getting a bit impatient
with his No. 1 QB. The Bears defense has given up a lot of yards and some
points to QBs, so with a home matchup against them, Newton better reach the
high 20s. Otherwise, the Generals will be looking at 0-5.
JIMMY JAMMERS (4-0)
at WORLD OF NOISE (3-1)
History: Jammers
leads series 8-2.
Last Meeting: Jammers won 122-114.3 in Week
1 of 2013.
PACKING UP EARLY:
The Noise took an early lead and looks to be in good shape thanks to the Green
Bay Packers defense, and by that, I mean, thanks to Christian Ponder. Three
turnovers, including an INT for a TD, gave the defense 19.3 points.
BACKING INTO A CORNER:
Terrance West has had some good games, but he’s been outplayed by Isaiah
Crowell, I’ll admit that. Even worse, Ben Tate is slated to start Sunday, which
means West could be the third back on the field. If that’s the case, I’ll have
to swap him out for a WR for this week. And if that truly is the case for the
rest of the season, then it’s up to Darren McFadden and newly Matt Asiata, who
scored just 6.2 points in his Jammers debut. It’s not looking bright at RB and
I completely blame Roger Goodell. He definitely saw that elevator tape and he
ruined my football team. I would have drafted a different back instead of Rice.
And you might be wondering, who was there? Well, C.J. Spiller was the very next
pick, followed in later rounds by Rashad Jennings, Steven Jackson and Darren
Sproles. That’s a big oops. But to my defense, no one ever thought at the time
of the draft that we’d never see Rice after Week 2.
IT ISN’T OVER:
The Noise may have the early lead, but we’re looking at two of the highest
scoring teams in the JFL. This matchup is more than a big defensive outing.
It’s a battle between Matthew Stafford and Matt Ryan; the Jammers’ three
receiving threats (Dez Bryant, Jeremy Maclin and Jimmy Graham) and the Noise’s
three (Reggie Wayne, Roddy White and Steve Smith). The Jammers lineup will be
complete after the 1 p.m. games, as will most of the Noise. If he’s trailing by
a lot, it will be up to Chris Ivory and Stephen Gostkowski. Feasibly, it could
come down to the kicker in the Sunday night game. There’s a reason why the
Noise drafted him in the seventh round. So stupid.
SUNDAY SLACKERS (1-3)
at FEAR AND LOATHING (4-0)
History: Slackers
lead series 4-3.
Last Meeting: Slackers won 112.6-85.1 in
Week 5 of 2013.
THIS SHOULD BE IT:
Drew Brees has to reach 30 points this week, right? I mean, he’s got the Tampa
Bay defense to go up against. He nearly got to 30 last week, scoring 28.6, but
the number has eluded him in four straight starts. This is so unlike Brees. I’d
say it has to happen this week, but I’ve thought that for two straight weeks.
So, I won’t predict.
TEST YOUR LUCK:
Finally, after three straight defenses that allow tons of passing yards, Andrew
Luck will be tested. He’s the No. 1 QB in fantasy after hitting 40-plus points
in back-to-back weeks. Now, against the Ravens, who haven’t allowed a QB to
score more than 25.3, he’ll really be tested. If he hits 30 again, Fear has
officially got himself the next fantasy QB that everyone will salivate over for
the next couple years.
AND IF HE DOESN’T?:
It won’t matter. DeMarco Murray and Le’Veon Bell may combine for 50 fantasy
points this week. Sound crazy? Yeah, maybe, but Bell has the Jags and I can
easily see him getting 25 to 28 points this week, and Murray is up against the
Texans, whose defense is better than the Jags, but they have given up some big
point totals to RBs. This matchup will be won here.
DOTTSVILLE TOASTERS
(2-2) at CHINESE ORGAN THIEVES (2-2)
History: Thieves
leads series 6-4.
Last Meeting: Thieves won 98.7-78.2 in Week
5 of 2013.
BATTLE OF DIVISION
WINNERS: These two were in line to play in the NFC Championship Game last
year, but that Wild Card winner Channel 4 News Team ruined it all. Now, they
finally get to meet up, albeit with less on the line. Both are tied for first
place in their respective divisions, so a win could go a long way at the end of
the season.
DENVER CHALK: Do
I really have to write any more than this: Denver is playing Arizona; chalk the
Broncos Trio up for about 50 points.
MEGA, COME BACK:
The king of Monday night comebacks needs his Megatron to come back healthy.
Against Buffalo, the potential for points are there, so nothing will make the
Toasters smile more than a healthy Calvin Johnson. But as of Thursday, he’s
listed as questionable and after Greg Jennings’ snoozer on Thursday night, the
Toasters need this more than anything. If Johnson doesn’t score his 15 points
we have come to expect, you might as well unplug the Toaster.
JERKIN’ MY KIRK
HERBSTREIT (1-3) at REAL HOUSERVILLE (2-2)
History: First
meeting.
THAT’S ALL?: In a
blowout of like we saw Thursday, you’d expect Aaron Rodgers to have more than
27.5 points, but that’s what he put up. It’s a good total, but it’s one that
Jerk knows Eli Manning can match and beat, especially against a soft Falcons
defense. Even worse for Houserville was that one of Rodgers’ TDs went to the
Jerks’ Randall Cobb, who scored 10.5 points.
BREAKOUT WEEK:
Last week was a bit of a breakout week for the Jerks. He got double-digits from
Matt Forte, Keenan Allen and T.Y. Hilton, three guys who he put a lot of faith
in to be his weekly starters, and all had struggled up until last week. The big
question now will be, can they keep it going.
MONTEE BENCH:
Montee Ball is facing the No. 2 defense against the run, so to the bench he
goes. In his stead, Lorenzo Taliaferro, a very good choice. I like it. This
could win him this matchup this week.
JONES OR NO JONES?: Houserville
needs Julio Jones. He’s his premier WR. Last week’s 9.4 points isn’t going to
cut it. It’s not why Houserville drafted him in the second round. If he’s ready
to go on Sunday, expect 100 yards and a TD.
T-MONEY (2-2) at
CHANNEL 4 NEWS TEAM (2-2)
History: News
Team leads series 8-5.
Last Meeting: News
Team won 89.3-64.6 in Week 10 of 2013.
NEW WEEK, NEW QB: News
Team may be looking to set some kind of record. In Week 5, he will be starting
his fourth QB, and the second one he traded for. RGIII started two weeks, Geno
Smith took a start in Week 3, Kirk Cousins went a week ago and now, it’s the
Andy Dalton era. ESPN projects him to have 15 points, but I can’t see that.
They really like to project him low. I’ll give him more like 25 for this week.
ALL JAMAAL: When
Jamaal Charles is healthy — and by that, I mean, he’s good enough to play — he
changes the landscape of a fantasy matchup. Last week, he scored 29.4 points
with three TDs. The 49ers are really good against the run, but as we saw last
week, Charles is a huge player in the pass game. More than half of his points
came on the receiving end. He should be good for another 17-20 points this
week.
GIO ALL THE WAY:
The best part of getting Dalton after Week 4 is that the Bengals had the Week 4
bye. Now, the News Team will have Dalton and Giovani Bernard in the lineup for
the rest of the season if he would like. Bernard will certainly get that call
after three straight double-digit weeks to start the season. I’m sure he’ll
make it four this week.
HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?:
Sorry T-Money. I haven’t mentioned you yet until now. Even with all that I just
said, you are still looking like you have a good chance to win. The News Team’s
wideouts do not impress me, while I think Tony Romo can equal Dalton’s output,
if not surpass it. LeGarrette Blount should steal a TD away from Bell against
the Jags, while Rashad Jennings should hit double-digits against the Giants.
Add in a big day from Alshon Jeffery (I think it’s about time he breaks the big
one) and I think the Money Man will escape with a five-point fantasy win.
CHALUPA BATMAN (2-2)
at TEAM BOYER (2-2)
History: First
meeting.
COULD HAVE BEEN
WORSE: With the way Jordy Nelson has been playing, Batman will take the
14.8 points scored Thursday night, because quite frankly, it should have been
worse. Nelson made just one catch, but it was a 66-yard TD. There were
certainly opportunities to hit 20 or more fantasy points and the Batman lucked
out.
MONDAY NIGHT COMEBACK
COMING: With Marshawn Lynch going on Monday, I have a feeling this matchup
will be won when Lynch scores his second TD against the Redskins. That will
push Chalupa in front for the win. Give Lynch 23 fantasy points this week.
THANKS, BRADY:
Opposing QBs haven’t had much luck against the Cincy defense, and now they get
Tom Brady who hasn’t done much of anything in 2014. Geno Smith has been better
— barely, but true. On Sunday night, we will find out if he can get out of his
funk. Like Brees, I’m tired of saying “I think he will.”
CHOO BIG TEEDEES
(1-3) at SHARK ATTACK (1-3)
History: First
meeting.
IRONY: Choo said
a week ago that this game is all luck. Well, if that’s the case, the Attack
doesn’t have any because with the point totals he’s posting, he should be
better than 1-3. He’s fourth in the JFL in scoring and once again, he’s in line
to score more than 100 points. Strangely, the Choo is projected to score the
same exact total, so if this ends in a tie, boy, would that be some kind of
weird luck.
THE TRIO: The
Attack’s three wideouts may be the best collection of three WRs actively
playing. I say actively because we all know when Josh Gordon starts playing in
Week 12, that title will belong to me. Yeah, I have a big head. Big whoop,
wanna fight about it? Jawz may have a big head, too, if this trio continues to
do what they’ve done. Antonio Brown is ranked No. 1 overall, Kelvin Benjamin is
ninth and Brandon Marshall is 17th only because an injury set him back. All it
will take is one big week for him to jump up into the top 10 with his
counterparts. That could easily happen this week against Carolina.
TOO MUCH TO OVERCOME:
Choo will have Percy Harvin and the Seattle defense going on Monday night, but
I think he’ll be trailing by a significant margin at that point. I really like
the Attack to score about 120 points on Sunday, and that will give him more
than a 40-point lead on the Choo. Harvin and the defense will not cover that.
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