This is really is getting tough for me.
No, Lily isn’t hindering my production of the Jargon, at
least, not too much. If she starts crying in the next few minutes, I may edit
the preceding sentence.
Still, what I’m getting at is, I’m really having trouble
following the NFL anymore. The games just do not do it for me. I didn’t watch a
single game this past weekend, and yes, that includes the Eagles-Cowboys game.
Part of it was fatigue from a long weekend of work, but most
of it was I didn’t care to sit through hours of commercials.
Basically, Week 9 wasn’t just a bye week for most of my
fantasy players; it was a bye week for me.
Will it continue next week? We’ll see. I’ll at least keep up
with fantasy football, but this recap should be fun considering I didn’t see a
single snap.
So, let’s get to it.
Houserville and Jerk are about to vie for AFC supremacy
after they both improved to 8-1 last week beating the Johnson brothers.
The Ville had no trouble beating my island of misfit toys as
he had five players hit double-digits, whereas my only double-digit scorer was
my kicker. Where's Cairo Santos when I need a pick-me-up?
No, I'm not being pompous.
I'm not the best team.
Choo is. Watch out for him. He's giddy about his fantasy baseball sleeper getting traded to the Yankees, but don't be fooled; he's silently getting excited about fantasy football.
Noise would have beat the Jerk had Jawz never traded Mariota for Kaepernick, one of the oddest trades I’ve ever seen.
Jawz would have won, too, had he not made the trade and
started Mariota over the struggling and now-injured Peyton Manning. He lost to
Choo who continues to roll, scoring another 94.9 points. He’s way out in front
with 876.6 points, leading Houserville who has 826.4. Choo is a scoring machine and I'm glad that with two teams at 8-1, I wouldn't face him in the playoffs until at least the AFC Championship. Now, that would be fun.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Choo and I are both 5-4 and have work to do to hold on to our playoff positions.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Choo and I are both 5-4 and have work to do to hold on to our playoff positions.
As far as the AFC picture looks, Houserville can clinch the
division with a win, while the Jerk clinches the division with a win and losses
by both the Choo and the Jammers.
The aforementioned Choo and Jammers are, as mentioned, in line for the two
AFC wild cards, while the Noise sits a game out, Fear and Jawz sit two out, and
the Slackers are on the verge of elimination, needing a miracle at this point.
In the NFC, the playoff picture is wide open and there’s no
need to go through the scenarios at this point.
Right now, the Chalupa Batman, who sent me a picture of his
chalupa he had for lunch, is in charge of the AFC after serving up Boyer a
112.1-95.3 loss behind five double-digit performances, including 34 from
Antonio Brown who caught 17 passes for 284 yards. Somehow, he had no TDs.
That seemed to be the theme for Chalupa WRs as Mike Evans
had 152 yards and no TDs.
The Philly Cheese Steaks had no trouble finding the endzone
Sunday as Chris Ivory, DeAngelo Williams and Dez Bryant combined for five TDs.
That helped fuel a big 128.8-117.6 win over the Bombers who have lost two
straight. The win keeps the Steaks just two games behind the Batman.
The difference in the matchup may have been waiver claim
positions as the Bombers, who lost Le’Veon Bell for the year, surely went after
DeAngelo — or one would think he would have — but the Steaks had the better
waiver claim, opening the door to the 36.9 points for the Steaks instead of the
Bombers.
It’s just a hard-luck loss for the Bombers, but it didn’t
hurt him much as the rest of his division lost. The entire NFC East went 4-0
against the NFC West, leaving no change in the standings with four weekends to
go.
It’s not often we see that happen.
This week, the NFC features two matchups between the four
teams with winning records. Batman face the Bombers, while Dottsville travels
to Team Boyer.
Still, not one of those matchups equals the hype for the
Jerk vs. Houserville.
The Ville looks to go for his ninth straight win, which
would match the mark division rival Fear and Loathing hit after starting 9-0
last season. The Jammers and News Team also have nine-game winning streaks in
JFL history, and the record is 11 games set by Team Boyer in 2006 when he won
11 straight after losing his season opener.
Houserville is looking to match that feat and then some.
Boyer went on to lose in the Super Bowl to the Jammers. Houserville can’t run
into the Jammers there, but he certainly could see him in the AFC Divisional
Round of the playoffs.
Maybe by then, with the Week 9 bye players suiting up, the
Jammers will find a renewed interest in football.
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