Do you smell that?
Smells like someone is in the kitchen burning cheese steaks.
 |
| Better stay out of the kitchen when Jim Vaughn is in there, otherwise, it's going to look a lot like this. |
I wonder if it’s the same chef who burnt the chalupas a week
ago.
…
So last week, I laid into the Chalupa Batman for not
sticking with his guns — those same guns that scored 130.6 points this week in
the JFL Postseason Challenge.
It would have been 134.2 had he started the Steelers defense
over the Bucs. Some things never change.
Nevertheless, this isn’t about the Chalupa.
This week, I’m about to lay into the Cheese Steaks, the team
that benefited from Chalupa straying from the big guns that got him there.
The Cheese Steaks, who I already burned for dealing away some good players that would have changed his season completely around, wound up benching Sam Bradford for T.J. Yates.
Let us take a second to have that sink in.
T.
J.
Yates.
I can see it now. Peter Falk walking away from Jim Vaughn, spinning, and saying, "Just one more question..."
Jim responds nervously, "Yes?"
"This Yates guy. He must have had a great week the week prior to cause
such a drastic change in course, am I right?"
Gotcha. Put the handcuffs on, escort Vaughn away and roll credits, because prior to this past weekend, Yates had only one start this season, which yielded 23.5 points against the Jets.
That’s right, the Cheese Steaks went with a third-string QB
making his second start over Sam Bradford, his second-round pick, who at the
very least averages 17.4 per week and scored 29 this week.
But it doesn’t stop there. The Steaks also gave the nod to Tim
Hightower at the RB/WR slot. He at least scored a TD the week before, but let’s
be serious; there’s a reason why Tim Hightower wasn’t making any noise Weeks 1
through 13.
Nevertheless, in the NFC Championship, of all places, the
Cheese Steaks decided to play fantasy baseball and use two free-agent pickups
in his starting lineup.
Why? Please, tell me why do teams stray from the norm — and
more importantly, why the hell don’t the do it when they play me?
Had he gone with his second-round QB and his big trade
acquisition Jordan Matthews, we’d be talking about a JLB World Series rematch
in the JFL Super Bowl.
Instead, it’s Choo vs. Graybill for all the marbles.
Now, let’s not take away from what Graybill did this week. I
know I just went on for a for page on Word about why the Cheese Steaks will be
my laughing stock of the JFL offseason, but let’s give credit to the man who
turned the worst JFL team in 2014 into the JFL Super Bowl X contender.
Jameis Winston has turned into quite the draft pick for him
— Chalupa is kicking himself in the Buc
— and his wide receiving corps has been strong, especially down the stretch.
Sammy Watkins has six touchdowns and 459 yards in the last four weeks, while
Demaryius Thomas has hit double-digits in four of the last five matchups.
Eddie Lacy had a down week with just 2.3 points against the
Steaks, but there’s no reason to bench him in Week 16. Unless of course,
there’s a Tim Hightower out there. #ThirdDegreeBurn
Golden Tate also had a big week for the Generals, and he’s
proven to be a decent pickup, and he will need him next week for sure against
Choo, who has got to be the odds-on favorite to win it all.
Let’s give Choo a second to recover, refocus and read on,
because he definitely just slammed his palm right into his forehead with that
last statement.
Win it all.
Does he even know what it feels like?
After just suffering his third straight JLB World Series
defeat in September, he finds himself quickly back in a title game in the
middle of the hot stove season.
He has the highest scoring offense and the momentum, having
won 10 of his last 13 contests in the JFL. It’s quite similar to what we’ve
seen in baseball where he has dominated the American League and cruised to the
World Series.
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, for starters, Odell Beckham Jr., his prime pick from a
year ago, who as a 10th-round keeper this year will only move up to third round
in 2016, decided to be an absolute nutbag last week and it earned him a
one-game suspension. Good bye, JFL Super Bowl patch for the jersey.
For the Giants, their season is on the line, but it’s not as
big as a hit as it is to the Choo, who also looks like he lost LeSean McCoy to
an injury. That means he’ll need some help this week. Perhaps Timmy Hightower?
At least it looks like he will have David Johnson, who is
the sole reason he is still alive today.
With 43.7 points in the AFC Championship, Johnson led Choo to the
110.4-90.8 win over Dream Team Houserville. All those prime draft picks, and poof, gone.
He, too, did a weird thing, benching the 11th-ranked WR, one of those precious gifts from News Team, for
Denard Robinson. I understand Brandin Cooks went for just 3.5 the week before, but the
week before that, he had 19.6. In fact, Cooks has had five weeks of 17 points or
more. He’s a third-round pick. You have to start him because if you win, you’re
winning by plan, and if you lose, oh well, you made the right choice by
sticking with your guns.
In the end, that wouldn’t have mattered, but still, I just
don’t get it.
JFL Postseason Challenge
And then there were six.
The two burnt teams from the championship games, the Steaks
and Houserville, both get a chance to learn from my schooling above and try to
win the JFL Postseason Challenge.
They’ll face the Chalupa, another graduate of the JimmyJam
School of What the Eff Were You Thinking, along with the professor himself, the
Jammers, T-Money and the Bombers.
All six will vie for the top two spots in the JFL Challenge.
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