Parker seems to think this is the year. He was on some Chinese website earlier today trying to snag a fake Julio Rodriguez jersey.
As J-Rod said today, "It's on!"
Well, for J-Rod, yes, it is. And maybe even for the Mariners it is.
But for the Gamblers?
I'm not buying it. Not yet at least.
That's too big a turn-around, and J-Rod isn't the difference between 283 losses and 240 wins.
"Listen, 2021 was a year we knew was a big rebuilding year for the Gamblers," Parker said, surfing the web for a coupon for his cheaply made knockoff jersey. "After a rough start we knew it was going to be tough to contend for a playoff berth. We got some trade offers that we’re too good to pass up, basically setting up for 2022. Those trade offers helped us build a foundation with Eloy, McClanahan, Kiriloff, JRod, Cavalli, Kirby, Leiter to name a few to go along with many many top draft picks. Some of those are potential aces and one play in particular, JRod is a potential top 10 player in the league. The Gamblers are focused on 2022 and winning this year. The window isn’t just open, it’s WIDE open!"
If the window is open, it's probably because someone broke it. Even if J-Rod is a star player, he's really only paired up with Eloy Jimenez and Josh Bell at this point. There are still some serious questions with the rest of this lineup.
And the pitching has Max Fried, a contender for the NL Cy Young in my mind, and Shane McClanahan, but from there, again, it's question mark city.
And that's not just me talking, that's the stat projections.
"Are you talking about the Slammer S*** Scale?" Parker said, finalizing his jersey purchase. "Yeah, not worried about those projections. It’s all about strategy in season, wavier wire, trades, injury prevention and honestly some luck on when your teams gets hot and cold and who you’re playing. So, to just take your top 11 batters only tells a small part of the story. With my young hitters in JRod and Greene starting on opening day, that’s another potential 60 homers, 175 RBIs and .300 average! So, not worried one bit about the s*** scale!"
So projections don't matter. Noted.
I mean, I can understand saying it for one or two players. Like, if you really like Alex Kiriloff and you say, I think he's going to hit 30 homers instead of 24, I'd say, OK, I can see that.
But to say everyone is collectively going to out-perform their projections is rather crazy.
If it were true that all the projections were low, I would expect the rest of the American League to be shaking in their boots (or crocks).
"I'm not worried at all," said Choo, the American League regular-season winner from a year ago. "There is a greater chance of me changing my voter registration status tomorrow than Parker making the playoffs, let alone sniffing .500."
"Parker has done a decent job retooling his team over the past few years," said Crox, who finished with 71 more wins than Parker a year ago. "He truly is a patient man for willing to be so bad for so long to almost get to the moment of fruition. I can see his young bucks making a push out of the basement this year, but think the penthouse suite is still a little away."
So maybe, just maybe, this season could be better than last year, but in all likelihood, it's going to be back to being a seller at the deadline.
"If the season doesn’t start off like I’m hoping, it’s not going to derail the Gamblers," Parker said, punching in his Visa card. "We have a potential seven green players coming up this year, most all of them in the summer and will give us a good boost for the playoff run! I’m not saying we’re going worst to first but we definitely will be fighting for a playoff—"
Yes, go ahead. Finish. Playoff?
Parker?
"This damn thing. Won't take my credit card. It appears the JRod jerseys sold out."
Oh, that's a shame. I guess their sales projections were a little off.
You know how that goes.
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