Two days before I said it would arrive, I give you the Office Space Conference preview. The only thing missing is the playoff predictions, because I cannot pick them. I'm waiting for the Toasters to special guest submit his playoff predictions. As soon as they get in, I'll post them.
This conference is wide open, and after last year's debacle with two teams qualifying for the playoffs with losing records, the conference will try to make a better name for itself this season.
Office Space Conference
Golden Bear Division
1. Jimmy Jammers .................9-4
2. Stanksta's Gangstas ...........7-6
3. Gameday Gamblers ...........2-11
Ball-and-Chain Division
1. Fear-and-Loathing ..............8-5
2. World of Noise ....................6-7
3. Real Houserville .................3-10
Wild Card Round (Predictions by Toasters)
Jammers over World of Noise (Big surprise there.)
Fear and Loathing over Stanks
This conference is wide open, and after last year's debacle with two teams qualifying for the playoffs with losing records, the conference will try to make a better name for itself this season.
Office Space Conference
Golden Bear Division
1. Jimmy Jammers .................9-4
2. Stanksta's Gangstas ...........7-6
3. Gameday Gamblers ...........2-11
Ball-and-Chain Division
1. Fear-and-Loathing ..............8-5
2. World of Noise ....................6-7
3. Real Houserville .................3-10
Wild Card Round (Predictions by Toasters)
Jammers over World of Noise (Big surprise there.)
Fear and Loathing over Stanks
Office Space Conference Championship
Jammers over Fear and Loathing (Can't mess with statistics. This guy knows how to win.)
Office Space Conference
Golden Bear Division
1. Jimmy Jammers
2008 Record: 8-8
2008 Division Finish: 1st
Arch Rival: Graybill’s Generals. The Generals have been a thorn in the side of the Jammers from Day 1. The two teams are 3-3 against each other, but two losses hurt the most for the Jammers — the lone setback in 2006 and the Super Bowl loss last season.
Bugaboo: Chinese Organ Thieves. The Jammers cannot figure out this team. They are 1-3 against the Thieves and one Super Bowl title lighter after a championship loss in 2007.
2009 Outlook: The Jammers were the highest scoring team in the league in 2006 and 2008, and second highest in 2007. With WR Larry Fitzgerald returning and RB LaDainian Tomlinson back healthy, the Jammers should add 2009 to that intro paragraph.
Joseph Addai and Darren Sproles in the FLEX will ensure some high point totals from the running back position, something the Jammers lacked last season. Leon Washington also could spell Addai and make a Sproles-like impact. That, and Rashard Mendenhall is sitting and waiting.
The loss of Phillip Rivers will be eased with the addition of Roethlisberger and Cutler. Roethlisberger had his best season in the NFL the year after he won Super Bowl XL and Cutler has the talent to rock Chicago, it’s just a question of whether he has the tools. I’m not so confident in that, but Cutler is still a good backup to Big Ben.
Wideouts Anthony Gonzalez, Santonio Holmes and Steve Breaston will make it tough for the Jammers to pick Fitzgerald’s counterpart because they are all inconsistent. Some weeks, they'll look like stars, others, they'll look like your average wideout.
Heath Miller will collect double points for the Jammers with Big Ben throwing to him, and the Chargers D should rake the depleted AFC West.
Key Player: San Diego’s backfield. LaDainian Tomlinson, an MVP for the Jammers in 2006 and 2007, slowed down in 2008 because of an injury. A healthy Tomlinson, mixed with his backup/counterpart will need to work together to score the Jammers a combined 20-30 points per week in order for this running back-committee idea to work out.
Potential, Maybe: Jeremy Maclin. He’s looked good in preseason and is lining up to be McNabb’s top target. If he is, Maclin will add to the WR quagmire the Jammers are facing.
2. Stanksta’s Gangstas
2008 Record: 5-8-2
2008 Division Finish: 2nd
Arch Rival/Bugaboo: Jimmy Jammers. The Gangstas, on their third name in less than a year, haven’t been a part of the league long enough to have a defined arch rival and bugaboo, so by default, the Jammers are both. Stank is 0-3 against the Jammers, losing both regular season matchups in 2008 along with their conference final battle. All in all, since Stank took over the Amity Island Massacre franchise, the program is 0-7 against the Jammers.
2009 Outlook: Maurice-Jones Drew was his keeper in 2008 and in 2009, and now the back will be running all alone without Fred Taylor in Jacksonville. We’ll see if he can handle the load, but if he does, the Stank has a good leader for a couple years to come.
And if his 2009 rookies play like his 2008, this young franchise of Gangstas could rise to the top and dethrown the three-time division winner Jimmy Jammers.
In 2008, Stank drafted Matt Ryan and 15 weeks later, he found himself in a position to move on to the Super Bowl.
Now, with rookie RBs Chris Wells and LeSean McCoy, the Gangstas are trying to initiate some new members. I’m not sold on Wells because of his injury history — he’s already cried wolf twice this preseason — but I am fully on board the McCoy Train. This guy is going to be a star — and if so, he’ll always be a Stank.
At the wideout position, the Stank went back to good ole Hines Ward who had a big season following a Super Bowl XL win. Maybe a Super Bowl XLIII win will usher in the same results.
Braylon Edwards managed to get dropped in our fantasy league midway through last season, which is ironic because he continually drops big-time passes. Now he finds himself on the Stank roster for 2009 and he’s got to prove his worth. Fortunately for Stank, you don’t earn negative-points for drops.
Donnie Avery and Ted Ginn Jr. are potential starters for Stank if the aforementioned wideouts do not perform.
Tight end Tony Gonzalez is clutch. Double points for Stank because he has Matt Ryan, and since it is Gonzalez, the double points will be two times more likely to happen over any other QB-TE combo.
The Panthers defense has Julius Peppers and more, equaling some nice point totals for the Stank.
Key Player: Maurice Jones-Drew. The Stank will live or die with this keeper choice. His whole season depends on Jones-Drew rushing for 1,200 yards and double-digit scores.
Potential, Maybe: LeSean McCoy. With Westbrook missing games often due to injury, this pick could lead to a No. 1 back. McCoy looks strong, illusive, quick out of the backfield. Well, to be frank, he looks like 2004 Brian Westbrook, which is what the Eagles need. Stank will take it, too.
3. Sunday Slackers
2008 Record: 2-10-1
2008 Division Finish: 3rd
Arch Rival/Bugaboo: Slackers. That’s right. At this juncture in this young franchise, his biggest rival and bugaboo is himself. He lost five games last season with players on the bench that could have flipped the score. Even if he gets only three of those, he’s in the playoffs and the Stank is out. That’s how close he was to not having the No. 1 overall pick.
2009 Outlook: I am in the belief that a healthy Steven Jackson in 2009 could lead to an MVP-like campaign in the world of fantasy football. The Slackers also believed this, taking the big back No. 1 overall.
Jackson joins keepers Drew Brees, the No. 1 quarterback in the league, and Reggie Wayne, the No. 4 wideout in the league. This trio, added with Saints WR Marques Colston and RB Pierre Thomas should make the Slackers a formidable lineup. I like Ahmad Bradshaw in the flex position, that or WR Kevin Walter. Either will make for a great fifth option on Sundays — as long as you do your homework and do not slack.
At TE, Owen Daniels is spotty and Vernon Davis has never come to fruition, but there’s still time.
Overall, the Slackers have the potential to put up big point totals if everyone gets together and scores on the same weekend. I like this roster, I’m just not so sure I like it to produce on a weekly basis. That being said, he’ll probably beat me.
Key Player: Drew Brees. He was downright filthy last season throwing for 5,000 yards. While 5G is not expected or needed for the Slackers, at least 4,000 is. A dropoff will be OK, but a collapse will not.
Potential, Maybe: Donald Brown. I hate Parker’s brother-in-law so much for this. I was seconds away from taking Mr. Brown and he was snagged up in a round I never thought he would go in without me taking him. This is a back who ran for more than 2,000 yards at UConn. He’ll get 1,000 in the NFL. And I will cry.
Ball-and-Chain Division
1. Fear and Loathing
2008 Record: 9-4-1
2008 Finish: 1st
Arch Rival: Houserville. They live in the same zip code and Fear lost twice to the former Villains. A rivalry that started right away last season will continue Week 4 this season. The more important matchup will happen when the BYE weeks are over, Week 11. This is when the division could be decided.
Bugaboo: Jammers and Organ Thieves. Combined, Fear is just 1-7 against these two former Super Bowl Champs. He can try and rectify this with matchups Week 7 and 10, respectively.
2009 Outlook: Fear and Loathing had a great offense in 2008, but it was the defense — which he has no control over — that won it for him. His fantasy opponents averaged 83.1 points per game. Teams scored more than 100 points only twice, and he watched teams put up totals of 73, 71, 68, 59 and 46. Fear is the only team in the league to have limited an opponent to 46 or fewer points at least once in all three seasons.
So, that little bit of luck helped him win some games because he was hitting other owners on their bad weeks.
But, as stated, his offense was putting up points, so it's not all luck.
At quarterback, Fear adds Kurt Warner, who if he makes it through the whole season, will hit 4,000 yards and 25-30 TDs. He has Michael Vick and Shaun Hill backing Warner up. Hill was his starter for much of last season, which shows the improvement Fear made at quarterback, however, he is a Warner slump or injury away from being in trouble. If I were Fear, I’d drop Vick and pick up Matt Leinart. Consider it a safety blanket.
Felix Jones is the lead RB, and I think he might explode this season, but that still leaves the other slot open. Fred Jackson is amongst several backs in Buffalo and behind a bad offensive line. Shonn Greene of the New York Jets is… Honestly, I don’t know who this is and I’m not wasting my time looking him up since I know No. 1 is Thomas Jones and No. 2 is Leon Washington for the Jets. Greene should not see any green this year.
The one I like out of the bunch here is Willie Parker. I think a comeback is in the making for him. He wants goal line carries, and though I do not think he’ll get them, I do believe he’ll have the chance to go for 1,000 yards this season.
Wideouts Randy Moss and T.J. Houshmandzadeh will be No. 1 and 2 for Fear, while Antonio Bryant will sit in the FLEX position on most Sundays. A formable trio of wideouts and a big reason why Fear should win this division.
The Steelers defense will be another reason. The only defense this season worth taking early was the Steelers. Maybe you can make a case for the Ravens, but it goes Steelers No. 1, and the next 15 defenses are virtually the same when it comes to fantasy points.
Key Player: Felix Jones. Fear and Loathing pushed all the chips toward the middle of the table when he announced that he was keeping Felix Jones. He’s all in. Now, we’ll see if he’s bluffing.
Potential, Maybe: Jamaal Charles. If the Chiefs put an end to the Larry Johnson era in KC, Charles could pick up where he left off in 2008 — averaging 5.3 yards per carry.
2. World of Noise
2008 Record: 3-10
2008 Finish: 3rd
Arch Rival: Jammers. They’re brothers, so why is this not a rivalry? World of Noise picked up its first win against the Jammers last season, but they are still 1-4 against the bigger bro.
Bugaboo: Fear and Loathing. One win, five losses. Fear is primed to make it 1-7 after this season. Time for World of Noise to end the silence.
2009 Outlook: A name change for 2009, but does that mean a turnaround for the Raiders of the JimmyJam League.
At 12-28, World of Noise is the worst franchise in league history by 4 1/2 games. Channel Four News Team is 17-24 overall.
While it will take a couple fantasy seasons of success to get to .500 as a franchise, all the Noisy Basterds (that’s my nickname for them this season) can do is take it one season at a time.
And in 2009, they’re off to a good start.
Drafting Andre Johnson was the best thing he could have done. There’s 200 catches, 1,400 yards and 14 TDs. Then, he added the RB duo of Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams to go with Brian Westbrook. Starting all three backs would be great for the Noisy Basterds, because Brown and Williams can combine to score at least 20 fantasy points on most weekends.
Chester Taylor will back up Westbrook, and/or move into the FLEX position if the Brown-Williams tandem fades.
Aside from Johnson, Noise has three No. 2 wideouts — Eddie Royal, Laveranues Coles and Jerricho Cotchery — which is better than a bunch of 3s and 4s — something the Noisy franchise has dealt with over the last three years. If any of these wideouts fall apart, expect Noise to pick up Eagles’ Jason Avant. It’s inevitable.
Dallas Clark at TE will give him an edge on most weeks, and the Packers D might end up scoring more fantasy points than the Eagles D, but don’t expect the Noise to ever give up on the Eagles D. Even on their BYE week, he still might start them over the Packers. He’s stubborn like that and it may cost him some wins.
Quarterback Donovan McNabb is coming off his best season and with a few more speedy weapons this season, he’ll be even better.
Expect the Noise to contend for a division title. That’s right, I said it. This No. 2 ranking is just because I know my brother has it in him to screw it up.
Key Player: Brian Westbrook. Stay healthy. Score points. That simple.
Potential, Maybe: Laveranues Coles. Lining up opposite Chad Johnson could be just what Coles needs to explode. In New York, Coles was always No. 1. Now that he’s a No. 2, he could easily be a No. 1. Catch my drift?
3. Real Houserville
2008 Record: 8-6
2008 Division Finish: 2nd
Arch Rival/Bugaboo: Fear and Loathing. Same reasons as listed above. Houserville has never defeated his State College neighbor. Week 4 is marked on his calendar.
2009 Outlook: Peyton Manning and Steve Slaton are the keepers. Everyone else is expendable.
Julius Jones, Cedric Benson and Jamal Lewis all have not nailed down the starting role in their respective cities, leaving the No. 2 back slot up in the air for Real Houserville.
At wideout, there’s potential, but a lot of things will have to go right for Houserville to get consistent production. Torry Holt is in Jacksonville, but is he the Torry Holt of old? Roddy White will be on the other end of Matt Ryan passes, and I like this, but there’s always a chance of a sophomore slump.
Dwayne Bowe was in the doghouse in KC and Earl Bennett is a no-name who is a favorite of Cutler’s dating back to their Vanderbilt days. And Chris Henry is a No. 3 in Cincy.
As you can see, there could be three or four stellar wideouts here, which will change the landscape of the Ball-and-Chain Division. However, there could be three or four busts, which could mean a high draft pick in 2010.
Jason Witten doesn’t have to worry about a whiny T.O. anymore, so maybe a few more passes will come his way. And the Jets and Colts defense should be consistent enough to put up 15-20 points on a weekly basis.
Key Player: Marshawn Lynch. Suspended for the first three games, if he can get his head on straight and run North and South, he’ll take over that questionable No. 2 RB slot for Houserville.
Potential, Maybe: Earl Bennett. Chicago hasn’t had a No. 1 quarterback in a long time, which means they haven’t had a No. 1 wideout either. Bennett has the skills and the rapport with Cutler to assume that title.
Jammers over Fear and Loathing (Can't mess with statistics. This guy knows how to win.)
Office Space Conference
Golden Bear Division
1. Jimmy Jammers
2008 Record: 8-8
2008 Division Finish: 1st
Arch Rival: Graybill’s Generals. The Generals have been a thorn in the side of the Jammers from Day 1. The two teams are 3-3 against each other, but two losses hurt the most for the Jammers — the lone setback in 2006 and the Super Bowl loss last season.
Bugaboo: Chinese Organ Thieves. The Jammers cannot figure out this team. They are 1-3 against the Thieves and one Super Bowl title lighter after a championship loss in 2007.
2009 Outlook: The Jammers were the highest scoring team in the league in 2006 and 2008, and second highest in 2007. With WR Larry Fitzgerald returning and RB LaDainian Tomlinson back healthy, the Jammers should add 2009 to that intro paragraph.
Joseph Addai and Darren Sproles in the FLEX will ensure some high point totals from the running back position, something the Jammers lacked last season. Leon Washington also could spell Addai and make a Sproles-like impact. That, and Rashard Mendenhall is sitting and waiting.
The loss of Phillip Rivers will be eased with the addition of Roethlisberger and Cutler. Roethlisberger had his best season in the NFL the year after he won Super Bowl XL and Cutler has the talent to rock Chicago, it’s just a question of whether he has the tools. I’m not so confident in that, but Cutler is still a good backup to Big Ben.
Wideouts Anthony Gonzalez, Santonio Holmes and Steve Breaston will make it tough for the Jammers to pick Fitzgerald’s counterpart because they are all inconsistent. Some weeks, they'll look like stars, others, they'll look like your average wideout.
Heath Miller will collect double points for the Jammers with Big Ben throwing to him, and the Chargers D should rake the depleted AFC West.
Key Player: San Diego’s backfield. LaDainian Tomlinson, an MVP for the Jammers in 2006 and 2007, slowed down in 2008 because of an injury. A healthy Tomlinson, mixed with his backup/counterpart will need to work together to score the Jammers a combined 20-30 points per week in order for this running back-committee idea to work out.
Potential, Maybe: Jeremy Maclin. He’s looked good in preseason and is lining up to be McNabb’s top target. If he is, Maclin will add to the WR quagmire the Jammers are facing.
2. Stanksta’s Gangstas
2008 Record: 5-8-2
2008 Division Finish: 2nd
Arch Rival/Bugaboo: Jimmy Jammers. The Gangstas, on their third name in less than a year, haven’t been a part of the league long enough to have a defined arch rival and bugaboo, so by default, the Jammers are both. Stank is 0-3 against the Jammers, losing both regular season matchups in 2008 along with their conference final battle. All in all, since Stank took over the Amity Island Massacre franchise, the program is 0-7 against the Jammers.
2009 Outlook: Maurice-Jones Drew was his keeper in 2008 and in 2009, and now the back will be running all alone without Fred Taylor in Jacksonville. We’ll see if he can handle the load, but if he does, the Stank has a good leader for a couple years to come.
And if his 2009 rookies play like his 2008, this young franchise of Gangstas could rise to the top and dethrown the three-time division winner Jimmy Jammers.
In 2008, Stank drafted Matt Ryan and 15 weeks later, he found himself in a position to move on to the Super Bowl.
Now, with rookie RBs Chris Wells and LeSean McCoy, the Gangstas are trying to initiate some new members. I’m not sold on Wells because of his injury history — he’s already cried wolf twice this preseason — but I am fully on board the McCoy Train. This guy is going to be a star — and if so, he’ll always be a Stank.
At the wideout position, the Stank went back to good ole Hines Ward who had a big season following a Super Bowl XL win. Maybe a Super Bowl XLIII win will usher in the same results.
Braylon Edwards managed to get dropped in our fantasy league midway through last season, which is ironic because he continually drops big-time passes. Now he finds himself on the Stank roster for 2009 and he’s got to prove his worth. Fortunately for Stank, you don’t earn negative-points for drops.
Donnie Avery and Ted Ginn Jr. are potential starters for Stank if the aforementioned wideouts do not perform.
Tight end Tony Gonzalez is clutch. Double points for Stank because he has Matt Ryan, and since it is Gonzalez, the double points will be two times more likely to happen over any other QB-TE combo.
The Panthers defense has Julius Peppers and more, equaling some nice point totals for the Stank.
Key Player: Maurice Jones-Drew. The Stank will live or die with this keeper choice. His whole season depends on Jones-Drew rushing for 1,200 yards and double-digit scores.
Potential, Maybe: LeSean McCoy. With Westbrook missing games often due to injury, this pick could lead to a No. 1 back. McCoy looks strong, illusive, quick out of the backfield. Well, to be frank, he looks like 2004 Brian Westbrook, which is what the Eagles need. Stank will take it, too.
3. Sunday Slackers
2008 Record: 2-10-1
2008 Division Finish: 3rd
Arch Rival/Bugaboo: Slackers. That’s right. At this juncture in this young franchise, his biggest rival and bugaboo is himself. He lost five games last season with players on the bench that could have flipped the score. Even if he gets only three of those, he’s in the playoffs and the Stank is out. That’s how close he was to not having the No. 1 overall pick.
2009 Outlook: I am in the belief that a healthy Steven Jackson in 2009 could lead to an MVP-like campaign in the world of fantasy football. The Slackers also believed this, taking the big back No. 1 overall.
Jackson joins keepers Drew Brees, the No. 1 quarterback in the league, and Reggie Wayne, the No. 4 wideout in the league. This trio, added with Saints WR Marques Colston and RB Pierre Thomas should make the Slackers a formidable lineup. I like Ahmad Bradshaw in the flex position, that or WR Kevin Walter. Either will make for a great fifth option on Sundays — as long as you do your homework and do not slack.
At TE, Owen Daniels is spotty and Vernon Davis has never come to fruition, but there’s still time.
Overall, the Slackers have the potential to put up big point totals if everyone gets together and scores on the same weekend. I like this roster, I’m just not so sure I like it to produce on a weekly basis. That being said, he’ll probably beat me.
Key Player: Drew Brees. He was downright filthy last season throwing for 5,000 yards. While 5G is not expected or needed for the Slackers, at least 4,000 is. A dropoff will be OK, but a collapse will not.
Potential, Maybe: Donald Brown. I hate Parker’s brother-in-law so much for this. I was seconds away from taking Mr. Brown and he was snagged up in a round I never thought he would go in without me taking him. This is a back who ran for more than 2,000 yards at UConn. He’ll get 1,000 in the NFL. And I will cry.
Ball-and-Chain Division
1. Fear and Loathing
2008 Record: 9-4-1
2008 Finish: 1st
Arch Rival: Houserville. They live in the same zip code and Fear lost twice to the former Villains. A rivalry that started right away last season will continue Week 4 this season. The more important matchup will happen when the BYE weeks are over, Week 11. This is when the division could be decided.
Bugaboo: Jammers and Organ Thieves. Combined, Fear is just 1-7 against these two former Super Bowl Champs. He can try and rectify this with matchups Week 7 and 10, respectively.
2009 Outlook: Fear and Loathing had a great offense in 2008, but it was the defense — which he has no control over — that won it for him. His fantasy opponents averaged 83.1 points per game. Teams scored more than 100 points only twice, and he watched teams put up totals of 73, 71, 68, 59 and 46. Fear is the only team in the league to have limited an opponent to 46 or fewer points at least once in all three seasons.
So, that little bit of luck helped him win some games because he was hitting other owners on their bad weeks.
But, as stated, his offense was putting up points, so it's not all luck.
At quarterback, Fear adds Kurt Warner, who if he makes it through the whole season, will hit 4,000 yards and 25-30 TDs. He has Michael Vick and Shaun Hill backing Warner up. Hill was his starter for much of last season, which shows the improvement Fear made at quarterback, however, he is a Warner slump or injury away from being in trouble. If I were Fear, I’d drop Vick and pick up Matt Leinart. Consider it a safety blanket.
Felix Jones is the lead RB, and I think he might explode this season, but that still leaves the other slot open. Fred Jackson is amongst several backs in Buffalo and behind a bad offensive line. Shonn Greene of the New York Jets is… Honestly, I don’t know who this is and I’m not wasting my time looking him up since I know No. 1 is Thomas Jones and No. 2 is Leon Washington for the Jets. Greene should not see any green this year.
The one I like out of the bunch here is Willie Parker. I think a comeback is in the making for him. He wants goal line carries, and though I do not think he’ll get them, I do believe he’ll have the chance to go for 1,000 yards this season.
Wideouts Randy Moss and T.J. Houshmandzadeh will be No. 1 and 2 for Fear, while Antonio Bryant will sit in the FLEX position on most Sundays. A formable trio of wideouts and a big reason why Fear should win this division.
The Steelers defense will be another reason. The only defense this season worth taking early was the Steelers. Maybe you can make a case for the Ravens, but it goes Steelers No. 1, and the next 15 defenses are virtually the same when it comes to fantasy points.
Key Player: Felix Jones. Fear and Loathing pushed all the chips toward the middle of the table when he announced that he was keeping Felix Jones. He’s all in. Now, we’ll see if he’s bluffing.
Potential, Maybe: Jamaal Charles. If the Chiefs put an end to the Larry Johnson era in KC, Charles could pick up where he left off in 2008 — averaging 5.3 yards per carry.
2. World of Noise
2008 Record: 3-10
2008 Finish: 3rd
Arch Rival: Jammers. They’re brothers, so why is this not a rivalry? World of Noise picked up its first win against the Jammers last season, but they are still 1-4 against the bigger bro.
Bugaboo: Fear and Loathing. One win, five losses. Fear is primed to make it 1-7 after this season. Time for World of Noise to end the silence.
2009 Outlook: A name change for 2009, but does that mean a turnaround for the Raiders of the JimmyJam League.
At 12-28, World of Noise is the worst franchise in league history by 4 1/2 games. Channel Four News Team is 17-24 overall.
While it will take a couple fantasy seasons of success to get to .500 as a franchise, all the Noisy Basterds (that’s my nickname for them this season) can do is take it one season at a time.
And in 2009, they’re off to a good start.
Drafting Andre Johnson was the best thing he could have done. There’s 200 catches, 1,400 yards and 14 TDs. Then, he added the RB duo of Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams to go with Brian Westbrook. Starting all three backs would be great for the Noisy Basterds, because Brown and Williams can combine to score at least 20 fantasy points on most weekends.
Chester Taylor will back up Westbrook, and/or move into the FLEX position if the Brown-Williams tandem fades.
Aside from Johnson, Noise has three No. 2 wideouts — Eddie Royal, Laveranues Coles and Jerricho Cotchery — which is better than a bunch of 3s and 4s — something the Noisy franchise has dealt with over the last three years. If any of these wideouts fall apart, expect Noise to pick up Eagles’ Jason Avant. It’s inevitable.
Dallas Clark at TE will give him an edge on most weeks, and the Packers D might end up scoring more fantasy points than the Eagles D, but don’t expect the Noise to ever give up on the Eagles D. Even on their BYE week, he still might start them over the Packers. He’s stubborn like that and it may cost him some wins.
Quarterback Donovan McNabb is coming off his best season and with a few more speedy weapons this season, he’ll be even better.
Expect the Noise to contend for a division title. That’s right, I said it. This No. 2 ranking is just because I know my brother has it in him to screw it up.
Key Player: Brian Westbrook. Stay healthy. Score points. That simple.
Potential, Maybe: Laveranues Coles. Lining up opposite Chad Johnson could be just what Coles needs to explode. In New York, Coles was always No. 1. Now that he’s a No. 2, he could easily be a No. 1. Catch my drift?
3. Real Houserville
2008 Record: 8-6
2008 Division Finish: 2nd
Arch Rival/Bugaboo: Fear and Loathing. Same reasons as listed above. Houserville has never defeated his State College neighbor. Week 4 is marked on his calendar.
2009 Outlook: Peyton Manning and Steve Slaton are the keepers. Everyone else is expendable.
Julius Jones, Cedric Benson and Jamal Lewis all have not nailed down the starting role in their respective cities, leaving the No. 2 back slot up in the air for Real Houserville.
At wideout, there’s potential, but a lot of things will have to go right for Houserville to get consistent production. Torry Holt is in Jacksonville, but is he the Torry Holt of old? Roddy White will be on the other end of Matt Ryan passes, and I like this, but there’s always a chance of a sophomore slump.
Dwayne Bowe was in the doghouse in KC and Earl Bennett is a no-name who is a favorite of Cutler’s dating back to their Vanderbilt days. And Chris Henry is a No. 3 in Cincy.
As you can see, there could be three or four stellar wideouts here, which will change the landscape of the Ball-and-Chain Division. However, there could be three or four busts, which could mean a high draft pick in 2010.
Jason Witten doesn’t have to worry about a whiny T.O. anymore, so maybe a few more passes will come his way. And the Jets and Colts defense should be consistent enough to put up 15-20 points on a weekly basis.
Key Player: Marshawn Lynch. Suspended for the first three games, if he can get his head on straight and run North and South, he’ll take over that questionable No. 2 RB slot for Houserville.
Potential, Maybe: Earl Bennett. Chicago hasn’t had a No. 1 quarterback in a long time, which means they haven’t had a No. 1 wideout either. Bennett has the skills and the rapport with Cutler to assume that title.
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