Another week of firsts. A new running back record, a 2-0 team that has never tasted victory like this and a game won on the last play in the last quarter of the last game of Week 2.
Here they are, in no particular order.
Thieves Intercept Win On Last Play
110.4 | Chinese Organ Thieves (1-1)108.7 | Jimmy Jammers (1-1)
It came down to one play. The final play. The very last play of the NFL week.
Chad Pennington dropped back and forced a throw into three Colt defenders as time expired.
As the ball soared through the air, all I could think was of the reality of the situation: If it’s picked, Thieves win, if it’s dropped or caught by a Dolphin, I win.
But, as mentioned, it was thrown to three Colts and one Dolphin.
And with that, the Thieves got two points from his defense and leap-frogged me for the 110.4-108.7 win.
This wasn’t the only drama. Earlier in the game-winning drive, Pennington was sacked giving two points to the Thieves and giving them the lead. However, on the next two plays, the Dolphins gained enough yards to get over the 400-yard mark, taking points away from the Thieves.
But, Pennington ruined that.
All the blame can’t be laid on him. Joseph Addai was horrible and has quickly become a regrettable acquisition. Larry Fitzgerald continues his sluggish start. LaDainian Tomlinson was out with an ankle injury.
The only bright spot was Darren Sproles who had 29 points.
The Thieves countered easily with Adrian Peterson, Phillip Rivers and Marion Barber. The “preview jinx” worked and Peterson had just 15.6 points — yeah, just. But Marion Barber was the difference. He went for 124 and a touchdown before falling flat on his face with a hamstring injury that will likely keep him out for a while.
Rivers had 32.5 points and Calvin Johnson had 12.7, but outside of that, the Thieves were quiet.
The Jammers were just about a point and a half quieter.
What Goes Around, Comes Around
131.6 | Graybill’s Generals (1-1)
120.3 | T-Money (1-1)
Here's an excerpt from the message board on their boxscore:
Chad Pennington dropped back and forced a throw into three Colt defenders as time expired.
As the ball soared through the air, all I could think was of the reality of the situation: If it’s picked, Thieves win, if it’s dropped or caught by a Dolphin, I win.
But, as mentioned, it was thrown to three Colts and one Dolphin.
And with that, the Thieves got two points from his defense and leap-frogged me for the 110.4-108.7 win.
This wasn’t the only drama. Earlier in the game-winning drive, Pennington was sacked giving two points to the Thieves and giving them the lead. However, on the next two plays, the Dolphins gained enough yards to get over the 400-yard mark, taking points away from the Thieves.
But, Pennington ruined that.
All the blame can’t be laid on him. Joseph Addai was horrible and has quickly become a regrettable acquisition. Larry Fitzgerald continues his sluggish start. LaDainian Tomlinson was out with an ankle injury.
The only bright spot was Darren Sproles who had 29 points.
The Thieves countered easily with Adrian Peterson, Phillip Rivers and Marion Barber. The “preview jinx” worked and Peterson had just 15.6 points — yeah, just. But Marion Barber was the difference. He went for 124 and a touchdown before falling flat on his face with a hamstring injury that will likely keep him out for a while.
Rivers had 32.5 points and Calvin Johnson had 12.7, but outside of that, the Thieves were quiet.
The Jammers were just about a point and a half quieter.
What Goes Around, Comes Around
131.6 | Graybill’s Generals (1-1)
120.3 | T-Money (1-1)
Now T-Money knows how the Chinese Organ Thieves felt.
In Week 1, the Thieves had Adrian Peterson go for 39.8 points and lost to T-Money.
This week, T-Money’s Frank Gore goes wild against Seattle, rushing for 207 yards and two TDs en route to a 40.6 total. And he lost.
The Generals got double-digits from everyone but his tight end and kicker. In fact, the 7.8 points from his tight end was the lowest amount scored. T-Money had three players below that mark — Anquan Boldin (7.3), Thomas Jones (5.3) and Lance Moore (0).
So, let me say it for the Thieves… Take that, T-Money.
This matchup was close heading into the Sunday night game — as predicted by your’s truly — and it was all about Tony Romo and Eli Manning.
Clearly, the pressure got to Romo as he was picked three times by the Giants defense. One went for a score and another should have had the referees not whistled so soon.
Eli was precise and deadly with his new favorite threat, Mario Manningham, who went for 150 yards and a TD. And who said the Giants had no wideouts?
Advice for Manningham: Don’t wear sweat pants to the club. And don’t go with Antonio Pierce.
Go with Eli Manning. He’s got the new contract and I’m sure he’ll buy you a drink.
Hell, the Generals is itching to buy Eli a drink after his 28.7 points.
He will also buy DeAngelo Williams, Darren McFadden, Percy Harvin and Donald Driver drinks. All four scored touchdowns for the Generals, and Steve Smith didn’t score, but he went for 131 yards, which is just as good.
He gets a drink, too.
He’s Got Mario, He’s-ah Gonna Winna
102.9 | Fear and Loathing (1-1)
72.1 | Team Boyer (0-2)
In Week 1, the Thieves had Adrian Peterson go for 39.8 points and lost to T-Money.
This week, T-Money’s Frank Gore goes wild against Seattle, rushing for 207 yards and two TDs en route to a 40.6 total. And he lost.
The Generals got double-digits from everyone but his tight end and kicker. In fact, the 7.8 points from his tight end was the lowest amount scored. T-Money had three players below that mark — Anquan Boldin (7.3), Thomas Jones (5.3) and Lance Moore (0).
So, let me say it for the Thieves… Take that, T-Money.
This matchup was close heading into the Sunday night game — as predicted by your’s truly — and it was all about Tony Romo and Eli Manning.
Clearly, the pressure got to Romo as he was picked three times by the Giants defense. One went for a score and another should have had the referees not whistled so soon.
Eli was precise and deadly with his new favorite threat, Mario Manningham, who went for 150 yards and a TD. And who said the Giants had no wideouts?
Advice for Manningham: Don’t wear sweat pants to the club. And don’t go with Antonio Pierce.
Go with Eli Manning. He’s got the new contract and I’m sure he’ll buy you a drink.
Hell, the Generals is itching to buy Eli a drink after his 28.7 points.
He will also buy DeAngelo Williams, Darren McFadden, Percy Harvin and Donald Driver drinks. All four scored touchdowns for the Generals, and Steve Smith didn’t score, but he went for 131 yards, which is just as good.
He gets a drink, too.
He’s Got Mario, He’s-ah Gonna Winna
102.9 | Fear and Loathing (1-1)
72.1 | Team Boyer (0-2)
Talk about a 1UP.
Fear has Mario Manningham, possibly this year’s big sleeper. With 150 yards and a TD this week and 208 yards and two TDs this season, Manningham will work out just fine in the flex.
Heck, if Randy Moss puts up another 2.4 week, Manningham might earn the right to start at WR.
Unfortunately for Boyer, since Moss had 2.4 points, that means his QB Tom Brady didn’t fare well. Only 8.7 points from the QB who seemed scared in the pocket, often missing open receivers because he was “rushed” and threw off his back foot. The old Tom Brady would stand in the pocket and deliver the perfect throw.
The 2009 version is definitely thinking about his knee injury.
If that’s the case, Team Boyer might need to shop for a quarterback because his back has broken ribs (Matt Hasselbeck).
Fear had no such problem, as Kurt Warner scored 23.9 points in a big win over Jacksonville, which by the way, is on the East Coast — meaning either the Jags are really bad or the Cardinals got rid of the East Coast Bugaboo.
Fred Jackson also is making a bid for sleeper of the year and it’s a big reason why Fear has been successful. Another double-digit performance this week helped push Fear over the 100-mark.
It could have been higher had he not given up on his keeper, Felix Jones, so early. Jones scored 20.1 points a week after scoring 4.7. Jones’ production may rise now that Marion Barber is doubtful to play next Sunday.
Boyer has many players in question for next week, including Wes Welker, Hasselbeck, Deion Branch and Bo Scaife. This is starting to look like last year, and the sad thing is, none of Boyer’s players have been on the cover of Madden.
This is unexplainable.
Noise Making Noise, But Is The Noise Warranted… LOUD NOISES!
135.1 | World of Noise (2-0)
119 | Stanksta’s Gangstas (0-2)
Fear has Mario Manningham, possibly this year’s big sleeper. With 150 yards and a TD this week and 208 yards and two TDs this season, Manningham will work out just fine in the flex.
Heck, if Randy Moss puts up another 2.4 week, Manningham might earn the right to start at WR.
Unfortunately for Boyer, since Moss had 2.4 points, that means his QB Tom Brady didn’t fare well. Only 8.7 points from the QB who seemed scared in the pocket, often missing open receivers because he was “rushed” and threw off his back foot. The old Tom Brady would stand in the pocket and deliver the perfect throw.
The 2009 version is definitely thinking about his knee injury.
If that’s the case, Team Boyer might need to shop for a quarterback because his back has broken ribs (Matt Hasselbeck).
Fear had no such problem, as Kurt Warner scored 23.9 points in a big win over Jacksonville, which by the way, is on the East Coast — meaning either the Jags are really bad or the Cardinals got rid of the East Coast Bugaboo.
Fred Jackson also is making a bid for sleeper of the year and it’s a big reason why Fear has been successful. Another double-digit performance this week helped push Fear over the 100-mark.
It could have been higher had he not given up on his keeper, Felix Jones, so early. Jones scored 20.1 points a week after scoring 4.7. Jones’ production may rise now that Marion Barber is doubtful to play next Sunday.
Boyer has many players in question for next week, including Wes Welker, Hasselbeck, Deion Branch and Bo Scaife. This is starting to look like last year, and the sad thing is, none of Boyer’s players have been on the cover of Madden.
This is unexplainable.
Noise Making Noise, But Is The Noise Warranted… LOUD NOISES!
135.1 | World of Noise (2-0)
119 | Stanksta’s Gangstas (0-2)
Here's an excerpt from the message board on their boxscore:
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:14 PM): are you shaking in your little space boots yet?
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:27 PM): 3 points man..... 30 more yards rushing....
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:27 PM): uh oh
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:39 PM): aw shit son.... i do believe that victory...... is mine
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:41 PM): VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:41 PM): 200+ yards rushing at the end of the third quarter...
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:55 PM): lets give Dallas Clark some more yards.... 49 yard catch and run....
Chris Steinke (Sep 21 11:01 PM): this is crap
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 11:03 PM): this is great.....
Noise sure talks a lot for having the worst record in franchise history.
But, I guess when you’re 2-0, there’s always room to brag. Just remember, 2-0 teams have wound up drafting in the top 4 a couple times before.
That’s a place where Noise has been used to drafting, but boy did he make some right moves. Ronnie Brown, Andre Johnson and Dallas Clark were all excellent choices, and they combined for 80 points this week.
Noise scored nearly 60 points Monday night to complete the comeback. He was trailing 119-76 heading into Monday night’s game. He walked away with a sound 16.1-point victory.
And Stank had to be resting his head deep in his hands on the first play of the game — an 80-yard touchdown pass to Dallas Clark.
Don’t worry, Stank. I had my head deep in my hands on the last play.
Just as Noise shouldn’t be so loud about being 2-0, Stank shouldn’t be too down about being 0-2.
He has the players to climb back and get to .500. And who knows, maybe he’ll be talking trash to Noise when the former Fire Engines miss the playoffs.
Slackers Getting Past Their Nickname
130.4 | Sunday Slackers (2-0)
106.7 | Channel 4 News Team (1-1)
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:27 PM): 3 points man..... 30 more yards rushing....
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:27 PM): uh oh
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:39 PM): aw shit son.... i do believe that victory...... is mine
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:41 PM): VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:41 PM): 200+ yards rushing at the end of the third quarter...
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 10:55 PM): lets give Dallas Clark some more yards.... 49 yard catch and run....
Chris Steinke (Sep 21 11:01 PM): this is crap
Craig T. Johnson (Sep 21 11:03 PM): this is great.....
Noise sure talks a lot for having the worst record in franchise history.
But, I guess when you’re 2-0, there’s always room to brag. Just remember, 2-0 teams have wound up drafting in the top 4 a couple times before.
That’s a place where Noise has been used to drafting, but boy did he make some right moves. Ronnie Brown, Andre Johnson and Dallas Clark were all excellent choices, and they combined for 80 points this week.
Noise scored nearly 60 points Monday night to complete the comeback. He was trailing 119-76 heading into Monday night’s game. He walked away with a sound 16.1-point victory.
And Stank had to be resting his head deep in his hands on the first play of the game — an 80-yard touchdown pass to Dallas Clark.
Don’t worry, Stank. I had my head deep in my hands on the last play.
Just as Noise shouldn’t be so loud about being 2-0, Stank shouldn’t be too down about being 0-2.
He has the players to climb back and get to .500. And who knows, maybe he’ll be talking trash to Noise when the former Fire Engines miss the playoffs.
Slackers Getting Past Their Nickname
130.4 | Sunday Slackers (2-0)
106.7 | Channel 4 News Team (1-1)
Can anyone stop him?
Now, you might be thinking that I’m talking about Drew Brees, and yes, in a round-about way. Can anyone stop the Slackers?
I’m not too sure anymore.
I thought that Brees would be not as effective outside, but this guy has shown why he is the king of QB awareness. He was flawless. Another 31.4 points for the Slackers, who also was flawless with 20.9 points from Willis McGahee and 21.8 from Marques Colston.
The sad thing for many owners in our league who have QB trouble, is that the Slackers have Joe Flacco as a backup. This might be trade bait after Brees hits the BYE in Week 5. (Just noticed while researching that, that I play Parker Week 5. Phew.)
While the Slackers move into sole possession of first place in the Golden Bear Division for the first time in franchise history, the News Team moves into a tie in the Nittany South Divison at 1-1.
The Brett Favre experiment was a wash as Aaron Rodgers scored a few more points that him (23.5) and DeSean Jackson has become a legitimate No. 1 fantasy starter. No more flex for him.
News Team picked up a Cadillac after Week 1 and although it did not run as well as it did Week 1, it still got him 12.5 points. We’ll call that to the grocery store, but not back.
Other than TD vulture LenDale White, News Team didn’t have an answer for his No. 2 running back position until he added Cadillac Williams, who was six points better than No. 1 RB Matt Forte.
If News Team can keep him healthy, he’ll certainly be in contention for the division crown.
Fortunately for him, he doesn’t have to go through Brees to get that crown.
That unfortunate task goes to the Jammers, Gangstas, Panthers, Falcons and Bucs.
Houserville Hates Schedule, Opponent Routs Again
151.8 | Dottsville Toasters (2-0)
109.9 | Real Houserville (0-2)
Now, you might be thinking that I’m talking about Drew Brees, and yes, in a round-about way. Can anyone stop the Slackers?
I’m not too sure anymore.
I thought that Brees would be not as effective outside, but this guy has shown why he is the king of QB awareness. He was flawless. Another 31.4 points for the Slackers, who also was flawless with 20.9 points from Willis McGahee and 21.8 from Marques Colston.
The sad thing for many owners in our league who have QB trouble, is that the Slackers have Joe Flacco as a backup. This might be trade bait after Brees hits the BYE in Week 5. (Just noticed while researching that, that I play Parker Week 5. Phew.)
While the Slackers move into sole possession of first place in the Golden Bear Division for the first time in franchise history, the News Team moves into a tie in the Nittany South Divison at 1-1.
The Brett Favre experiment was a wash as Aaron Rodgers scored a few more points that him (23.5) and DeSean Jackson has become a legitimate No. 1 fantasy starter. No more flex for him.
News Team picked up a Cadillac after Week 1 and although it did not run as well as it did Week 1, it still got him 12.5 points. We’ll call that to the grocery store, but not back.
Other than TD vulture LenDale White, News Team didn’t have an answer for his No. 2 running back position until he added Cadillac Williams, who was six points better than No. 1 RB Matt Forte.
If News Team can keep him healthy, he’ll certainly be in contention for the division crown.
Fortunately for him, he doesn’t have to go through Brees to get that crown.
That unfortunate task goes to the Jammers, Gangstas, Panthers, Falcons and Bucs.
Houserville Hates Schedule, Opponent Routs Again
151.8 | Dottsville Toasters (2-0)
109.9 | Real Houserville (0-2)
Who made this schedule?
That’s got to be what Houserville is thinking.
There’s no way he’s 0-2 if he doesn’t play the Slackers and Toasters in back-to-back weeks.
The Slackers had 53.5 points from Drew Brees in Week 1 and the Toasters got 52.4 from Chris Johnson, both new League records for their respective positions.
Their point totals combined nearly meet Houserville’s total of 109.9.
It’s rough, and I’m sure everyone in the League feels for you, but let’s talk about the big story: The Toasters are 2-0 and have a team set to make a run for the playoffs. Chris Johnson was amazing with three scores of longer than 60 yards, including a 91-yard TD run.
Can’t beat that.
Well, he could have set the league record for points in a game if he had started Matt Schaub, who scored 43.9 points on the bench — third best bench points in League history. (Records everywhere!)
Toasters got 25.9 points from Trent Edwards, 20.1 from Vincent Jackson and 14.4 from Tim Hightower.
Hightower is exceeding many expectations and could wind up being the steal of the draft.
Really, the only bad news right now for the Toasters is that he’s not facing Houserville again in the regular season, because he has the worst defense in the League. Not that he can control that.
Oh, and a thing to think about. The team that gave up the most points in the regular season last season went to the Fantasy Super Bowl, so hold your head high Dawson. Revenge should come soon.
That’s got to be what Houserville is thinking.
There’s no way he’s 0-2 if he doesn’t play the Slackers and Toasters in back-to-back weeks.
The Slackers had 53.5 points from Drew Brees in Week 1 and the Toasters got 52.4 from Chris Johnson, both new League records for their respective positions.
Their point totals combined nearly meet Houserville’s total of 109.9.
It’s rough, and I’m sure everyone in the League feels for you, but let’s talk about the big story: The Toasters are 2-0 and have a team set to make a run for the playoffs. Chris Johnson was amazing with three scores of longer than 60 yards, including a 91-yard TD run.
Can’t beat that.
Well, he could have set the league record for points in a game if he had started Matt Schaub, who scored 43.9 points on the bench — third best bench points in League history. (Records everywhere!)
Toasters got 25.9 points from Trent Edwards, 20.1 from Vincent Jackson and 14.4 from Tim Hightower.
Hightower is exceeding many expectations and could wind up being the steal of the draft.
Really, the only bad news right now for the Toasters is that he’s not facing Houserville again in the regular season, because he has the worst defense in the League. Not that he can control that.
Oh, and a thing to think about. The team that gave up the most points in the regular season last season went to the Fantasy Super Bowl, so hold your head high Dawson. Revenge should come soon.
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