Wow. Unfair.
134.9 | World of Noise (3-0)
123.1 | Real Houserville (0-3)
I have a couple things to say here.
First, I’m done picking on Houserville. I feel completely bad for this team having run into a gauntlet each week.
Houserville could have easily been 3-0 at this point.
Why?
Because I underestimated his team and I’m going to take a step back here and say I’m sorry. You were right about Cedric Benson. I based my judgments on his prior play added with the poor offensive line in Cincinnati. But I was wrong and he is for real. Adding him with Slaton is a great duo.
I’m still not sold on Julius Jones. I still under the belief that he’s gotten lucky with big plays, but if he can get lucky for another 13 weeks, I’m sure Dawson will take it.
Now ironically, with all the Benson talk, Houserville benched him this week. I don’t blame him. Steelers defense being reason No. 1. But who would have known that Benson added with Torry Holt over Roddy White would have been enough to down the growingly-annoying World of Noise.
I’m kind of glad that Noise is the worst franchise in League history. He gets a winning streak and he turns into Carrot Top — so annoying you want to beat him with his own creation.
But, his own creation, a fantasy team of misfits plus Andre Johnson, is pretty damn good. After Donovan and Westbrook went down, it was easy to say that the Noise was done. Yet, Ricky Williams, Ronnie Brown and Kevin Kolb have been big.
They have helped Noise post the League’s best point total of 380.2. Houserville on the other hand has given up a League worst 407.5 points. The next closest is 358. Think about it. That’s some bad luck there.
But hey, look at the bright side? I’m agreeing with you about Benson now.
***
That is where I would generally end this, but I want to say one more thing. Not many 0-3 teams should scare you, but I firmly believe you should watch out for Houserville. He’s got the firepower to push aside anyone who doesn’t score 120 on him.
The Toasters Are 3-0!
98 | Dottsville Toasters (3-0)
89.3 | Team Boyer (0-3)
I told you that would be the headline.
But, boy was it close to not being the case.
The Toasters could have easily won had they gone with Matt Schaub over Trent Edwards, but yeah well, I can’t critique. He won. I didn’t.
Chris Johnson, Ray Rice, Vincent Jackson and Greg Jennings all had low-double-digit days, which was enough to toast Boyer.
Boyer started Welker for some reason — either he didn’t read any football story all week or he was feeling the 0-2 blues because Welker was projected to miss the week. Heck, I even had it in my preview. And, on the bench was Devin Hester, who went for 13.6 points, enough to make the Toasters smack himself for his Schaubby choice of a quarterback.
Jones Drew All Over Jammers
116.4 | Stanksta’s Gangstas (1-2)
93.6 | Jimmy Jammers (1-2)
It took four tries, but the Stank took care of division rival Jammers — and he has Jones-Drew to thank. More than 34 points from the back who had three touchdowns in a high-scoring affair with the Texans, who are merely mini-speed bumps for opposing running backs.
That wasn’t the only back to provide for Stank Sunday. Brandon Jacobs went for 92 and a touchdown, while his new favorite back, LeSean McCoy showed why he’s going to be a star in this lead, going for 84 and a touch.
A disappointing day from Matt Ryan nearly spoiled Stank’s day, but hey, he had the Broncos defense which apparently is the real thing this season.
The Jammers, after three games, are not.
Lucky to win Week 1, the Jammers’ offense has been lackluster to say the least. The loss of Tomlinson has really hurt and it looks like he won’t be back until at least Week 6, and that’s if he can come back at 100 percent. He hasn’t done that in a couple years.
And if he’s down for good, it might be a couple years before the Jammers recovers.
Slackers Slip Past Defending Champs
101.7 | Sunday Slackers (3-0)
99.4 | Graybill’s Generals (1-2)
Oh no! Alert the police. Someone stole the Brees Robot and replaced him with a human.
Only 172 yards and no touchdowns? And he fumbled? Nah, that’s not the robot.
Yet the Slackers improved to 3-0.
Feeling high after a World Series title, the Slackers can look back and thank his running backs and wideouts for this week — double-digits from Steven Jackson, Willis McGahee, Steve Smith (NY) and Reggie Wayne was just enough to hold on because the Generals made a run for it.
He had the other Steve Smith and DeAngelo Williams going on Monday night and as able to cut it close with 7.4 from Williams and 3.8 points from Smith. Smith had nine targets but only four catches. One or two more would have likely won this matchup for him.
News Team Survives Divisional Matchup, Players Do Not
108.1 | Channel 4 News Team (2-1)
102.3 | Chinese Organ Thieves (1-2)
The News Team left Week 3 with a divisional win and is in first place for the first time in franchise history, but he’s got a lot of walking wounded.
Kevin Jones and Chad Pennington both went on the IR — he added Chad Henne who I dropped a week too early — and Kevin Smith, Matt Forte, Cadillac Williams, DeSean Jackson and LenDale White are all injured in some way.
Terrell Owens isn’t, but he didn’t catch a pass for the first time in 185 games.
Thankfully, Aaron Rodgers threw for 269 and two TDs and ran for another. And DeSean Jackson caught six passes for 149 yards and a TD. Not a bad WR for the News Team.
The Organ Thieves made a final push on Monday night with Tashard Choice and 82 rushing yards and 36 receiving yards to go with a score, but it wasn’t enough.
It also didn’t help that Adrian Peterson had a low 9.9-point day. The Vikings wound up throwing more than 40 times and that left only 21 touches for Adrian.
Wideout trouble continued for the Thieves with former teammates Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams combining for 13.3 points.
The early season win gives the News Team two straight wins over his division rival and now he has a two-game lead on them. Now that’s something worth brushing off injuries for.
Moss Played, Fear Won
105.8 | Fear and Loathing (2-1)
85.2 | T-Money (1-2)
I said if Moss would play, Fear would win, and for once, Dawson, I was right.
Moss caught 10 passes for 116 yards and added with double-digit performances from Kurt Warner, Felix Jones, Johnny Knox and Brent Celek. Not bad contributions from guys who were not on Top 10 Fantasy Depth Charts. That’ll show them.
T-Money had a tough break this week. Frank Gore ran once for four yards and then went home and is now out for at least the next two games.
And Thomas Jones showed why that should be worrisome, rushing 14 times for 20 yards — and he didn’t leave the game early like Gore.
Anquan Boldin was the only player to show up for T-Money, catching six passes for 83 yards and a touchdown.
And that’s pretty much it for this one. It’s 12:30 a.m. and I have to go to bed, so T-Money, you’re lackluster performance leaves me speechless.
134.9 | World of Noise (3-0)
123.1 | Real Houserville (0-3)
I have a couple things to say here.
First, I’m done picking on Houserville. I feel completely bad for this team having run into a gauntlet each week.
Houserville could have easily been 3-0 at this point.
Why?
Because I underestimated his team and I’m going to take a step back here and say I’m sorry. You were right about Cedric Benson. I based my judgments on his prior play added with the poor offensive line in Cincinnati. But I was wrong and he is for real. Adding him with Slaton is a great duo.
I’m still not sold on Julius Jones. I still under the belief that he’s gotten lucky with big plays, but if he can get lucky for another 13 weeks, I’m sure Dawson will take it.
Now ironically, with all the Benson talk, Houserville benched him this week. I don’t blame him. Steelers defense being reason No. 1. But who would have known that Benson added with Torry Holt over Roddy White would have been enough to down the growingly-annoying World of Noise.
I’m kind of glad that Noise is the worst franchise in League history. He gets a winning streak and he turns into Carrot Top — so annoying you want to beat him with his own creation.
But, his own creation, a fantasy team of misfits plus Andre Johnson, is pretty damn good. After Donovan and Westbrook went down, it was easy to say that the Noise was done. Yet, Ricky Williams, Ronnie Brown and Kevin Kolb have been big.
They have helped Noise post the League’s best point total of 380.2. Houserville on the other hand has given up a League worst 407.5 points. The next closest is 358. Think about it. That’s some bad luck there.
But hey, look at the bright side? I’m agreeing with you about Benson now.
***
That is where I would generally end this, but I want to say one more thing. Not many 0-3 teams should scare you, but I firmly believe you should watch out for Houserville. He’s got the firepower to push aside anyone who doesn’t score 120 on him.
The Toasters Are 3-0!
98 | Dottsville Toasters (3-0)
89.3 | Team Boyer (0-3)
I told you that would be the headline.
But, boy was it close to not being the case.
The Toasters could have easily won had they gone with Matt Schaub over Trent Edwards, but yeah well, I can’t critique. He won. I didn’t.
Chris Johnson, Ray Rice, Vincent Jackson and Greg Jennings all had low-double-digit days, which was enough to toast Boyer.
Boyer started Welker for some reason — either he didn’t read any football story all week or he was feeling the 0-2 blues because Welker was projected to miss the week. Heck, I even had it in my preview. And, on the bench was Devin Hester, who went for 13.6 points, enough to make the Toasters smack himself for his Schaubby choice of a quarterback.
Jones Drew All Over Jammers
116.4 | Stanksta’s Gangstas (1-2)
93.6 | Jimmy Jammers (1-2)
It took four tries, but the Stank took care of division rival Jammers — and he has Jones-Drew to thank. More than 34 points from the back who had three touchdowns in a high-scoring affair with the Texans, who are merely mini-speed bumps for opposing running backs.
That wasn’t the only back to provide for Stank Sunday. Brandon Jacobs went for 92 and a touchdown, while his new favorite back, LeSean McCoy showed why he’s going to be a star in this lead, going for 84 and a touch.
A disappointing day from Matt Ryan nearly spoiled Stank’s day, but hey, he had the Broncos defense which apparently is the real thing this season.
The Jammers, after three games, are not.
Lucky to win Week 1, the Jammers’ offense has been lackluster to say the least. The loss of Tomlinson has really hurt and it looks like he won’t be back until at least Week 6, and that’s if he can come back at 100 percent. He hasn’t done that in a couple years.
And if he’s down for good, it might be a couple years before the Jammers recovers.
Slackers Slip Past Defending Champs
101.7 | Sunday Slackers (3-0)
99.4 | Graybill’s Generals (1-2)
Oh no! Alert the police. Someone stole the Brees Robot and replaced him with a human.
Only 172 yards and no touchdowns? And he fumbled? Nah, that’s not the robot.
Yet the Slackers improved to 3-0.
Feeling high after a World Series title, the Slackers can look back and thank his running backs and wideouts for this week — double-digits from Steven Jackson, Willis McGahee, Steve Smith (NY) and Reggie Wayne was just enough to hold on because the Generals made a run for it.
He had the other Steve Smith and DeAngelo Williams going on Monday night and as able to cut it close with 7.4 from Williams and 3.8 points from Smith. Smith had nine targets but only four catches. One or two more would have likely won this matchup for him.
News Team Survives Divisional Matchup, Players Do Not
108.1 | Channel 4 News Team (2-1)
102.3 | Chinese Organ Thieves (1-2)
The News Team left Week 3 with a divisional win and is in first place for the first time in franchise history, but he’s got a lot of walking wounded.
Kevin Jones and Chad Pennington both went on the IR — he added Chad Henne who I dropped a week too early — and Kevin Smith, Matt Forte, Cadillac Williams, DeSean Jackson and LenDale White are all injured in some way.
Terrell Owens isn’t, but he didn’t catch a pass for the first time in 185 games.
Thankfully, Aaron Rodgers threw for 269 and two TDs and ran for another. And DeSean Jackson caught six passes for 149 yards and a TD. Not a bad WR for the News Team.
The Organ Thieves made a final push on Monday night with Tashard Choice and 82 rushing yards and 36 receiving yards to go with a score, but it wasn’t enough.
It also didn’t help that Adrian Peterson had a low 9.9-point day. The Vikings wound up throwing more than 40 times and that left only 21 touches for Adrian.
Wideout trouble continued for the Thieves with former teammates Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams combining for 13.3 points.
The early season win gives the News Team two straight wins over his division rival and now he has a two-game lead on them. Now that’s something worth brushing off injuries for.
Moss Played, Fear Won
105.8 | Fear and Loathing (2-1)
85.2 | T-Money (1-2)
I said if Moss would play, Fear would win, and for once, Dawson, I was right.
Moss caught 10 passes for 116 yards and added with double-digit performances from Kurt Warner, Felix Jones, Johnny Knox and Brent Celek. Not bad contributions from guys who were not on Top 10 Fantasy Depth Charts. That’ll show them.
T-Money had a tough break this week. Frank Gore ran once for four yards and then went home and is now out for at least the next two games.
And Thomas Jones showed why that should be worrisome, rushing 14 times for 20 yards — and he didn’t leave the game early like Gore.
Anquan Boldin was the only player to show up for T-Money, catching six passes for 83 yards and a touchdown.
And that’s pretty much it for this one. It’s 12:30 a.m. and I have to go to bed, so T-Money, you’re lackluster performance leaves me speechless.
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