Two weeks after we had the first fantasy matchup come down to the final play on Monday Night Football, we find ourselves with four matchups coming down to the wire on Monday.
And it figures that it came on the night when Brett Favre was squaring off against his former team.
The four aforementioned matchups all were decided by five or fewer points — quite amazing. We’ll do these recaps in order from closest matchup to blowout. Hey, that means Houserville’s last… And this week, he wasn’t the victim!
One Point
127.1 | Jimmy Jammers (2-2)
126.1 | Channel 4 News Team (2-2)
Leading by 31.6 points before kickoff Monday, the Jammers stared at his former quarterback and thought the worst.
The worst almost came true.
Rodgers threw for 384 yards and two touchdowns to accumulate 30.6 points — one point shy of the points necessary to tie.
The Packers were driving late and with 40 yards to go to the end zone and time winding down, there weren’t enough yards left on the field for Rodgers to lift News Team to a win.
He needed a touchdown.
First down, incomplete. Second down, sack. Third down, in and out of the hands. And fourth down, field goal?
A big sigh of relief as the Packers did the smart thing and kicked the field goal since they were down 10 points — this made World of Noise cry a small stream in Arizona, as you’ll read later.
Leading by one point, the Jammers watched the Packers line up for the onside kick. This is where Sidney Rice became the hero, leaping in the air to snag the high-flying onside kick. One kneel down and that was it.
Funny to note, that midway through the third when Rodgers had just 12 points, News Team’s backup, Brett Favre, had 31.5 points. He had to be kicking himself at that time, but Favre finished with 31.3, still not enough.
The Jammers got a great performance out of the Saints defense, which scored 37 points thanks to three interceptions, a fumble recovery and two touchdowns. Heath Miller’s 19-point performance on Sunday Night Football also was a major factor in the win.
Two-Point-Eight Points
108.4 | Dottsville Toasters (4-0)
105.6 | World of Noise (3-1)
Just as the Jammers was happy to see Aaron Rodgers head off the field on fourth down, the Toasters celebrated with the special butter and jam as kicker Mason Crosby walked on out.
Lining up for the three-point fantasy field goal, the kick was up and the kick was good. Essentially, the final play of the night as a failed onside kick and a kneel-down followed.
And then, the Toasters were 4-0!
Again, the Toasters had the wrong QB in the lineup as Schaub went for 14.9 and backup Kerry Collins had 23. Oh, this seems to be an every year thing for the Toasters, but the difference in 2009 is that it hasn’t cost him yet.
Ray Rice continues to be a great draft pick getting another 15.2 points and the Bears managed 33.5 points against the Lions — but who doesn’t?
World of Noise, a team that no one has any faith in — see the front page poll — had a chance to put the game away on Monday Night Football, but the Packers defense gave up too many yards and too many points, all while Chester Taylor had just 4.3 points.
The Toasters kept it close himself, as Greg Jennings had only 31 yards receiving, leaving it up to Crosby to win the game. And he came through. Who said kickers weren’t important?
Three-Point-Nine Points
110 | Chinese Organ Thieves (2-2)
106.1 | Graybill’s Generals (1-3)
This matchup went back-and-forth on Monday Night Football as the Thieves had Adrian Peterson and kicker Ryan Longwell and the Generals had Percy Harvin and Donald Driver.
Peterson was bottled up nicely leaving an opportunity for the Generals to steal a win from the Thieves; however, both of his wideouts came up short. Both Harvin (6.4 poitns) and Driver (5.5) had catches that had them coming up yards short of a touchdown — and therefore, yards short of a win.
Both the Thieves had great weeks from their quarterbacks, but the Thieves needed a big comeback attempt on Sunday to make this win possible. The Generals had Eli Manning put up 30.5 fantasy points on the Chiefs, but Rivers and the Chargers were absolutely struggling at halftime against the Steelers.
Then, the comeback to post 28.6 points and make the Monday Night win possible.
Both teams leave Week 4 banged up.
The Generals fall to 1-3 with Manning questionable with a heel injury that hasn’t been completely diagnosed yet. Most reports have Manning coming back this week, but “it will be painful.” He also lost Darren McFadden for a few weeks with a torn meniscus.
On the other side, Calvin Johnson (quad), Roy Williams (ribs) and Zach Miller (concussion) all suffered injuries that have them questionable for Week 5.
Good news for the Thieves is that in a battled Nittany South Division, he’s in first place with a 2-2 record.
Four-Point-Seven Points
103.8 | Sunday Slackers (4-0)
99.1 | Stanksta’s Gangsta’s (1-3)
The Slackers found gold. The Stank… Well, he found fool’s gold.
Steve Smith (NY) fueled the undefeated Slackers past Stank who had zero catches and zero points from Braylon Edwards.
To make things worse, Edwards furthered his case for needing to be dropped by punching one of LeBron James’ friends later that night at a club.
I’m not making this up. I’m a creative writer, but you can’t make crap up like this.
Great idea, Braylon. Not only does Cleveland hate you already for underperforming, you have to go and disrespect the King. That’s not going to fly, G-Funk.
I’m not sure how much longer Cleveland will put up with this mess of a wasted-talent, but I’m sure Stank’s leash is shorter.
The leash also has to be short for this year’s No. 1 overall pick, Steven Jackson. With another 8.5 points on Sunday, it’s likely that after the Saints’ bye week, he will be supplanted by backup Pierre Thomas who went for 19.7 fantasy points on the Slackers’ bench.
The Stank had a lot of guys on his bench, too, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that. Everyday starters Matt Ryan, Tony Gonzalez, and maybe new starter LeSean McCoy, all were on the bye week.
Even still, the Stank was right in the game and nearly pulled if off. In fact, Hines Ward was cruising toward the end zone Sunday night but was tackled short.
But who can blame Hines?
At least he caught the ball a couple times and didn’t punch Sidney Crosby’s best friend. That would have been the equivalent.
Bold Move Leaving Boldin In The Lineup
87 | T-Money (2-2)
70.3 | Team Boyer (0-4)
I’m not too sure, but maybe T-Money was on vacation or something?
He left an injured Anquan Boldin who was on the bye week in the lineup.
And he still won.
Not only that, he won with 87 points.
Team Boyer struggled in most areas, especially in defense starting the Titans (2 points) over the Texans (38). Not sure that I would have guessed that the Texans would have been better, but I definitely wouldn’t have figured them to be 36 points better.
Hester wasn’t any help, stepping to the side and letting Johnny Knox take over, and Le’Ron McClain had a big fat zero.
Which is what Boyer has in wins — zero.
It’s not exactly how the season was slated to go for this team.
Michael Turner was on the bye, leaving the void for McClain to fill.
At 0-4, things look bleak for Boyer, but there’s still a few weeks to turn things around. He has the players to make the turn around, but he’s going to have to start that turnaround next week, because only one team has come back from an 0-5 start to make the playoffs — the News Team of 2008.
So, there’s hope.
Holy Blowout, Batman
141.6 | Real Houserville (1-3)
88.6 | Fear and Loathing (2-2)
How do you avoid losing to high powered offenses week after week?
Why not take a page from their playbook?
Houserville put up a franchise-high 141.6 points. This breaks the record he set a week ago with 123.1 in a loss.
In fact, Houserville has scored more than 100 points in all four of his games this season. The Villains had only four in 13 regular season games last season.
This week, the majority of his points came from the 49ers defense which put up 49 points in a matchup against the Rams, who by the way, I think may be worse than the 2008 Lions. How crazy would it be to have 0-16 teams in back-to-back years?
Houserville avoided the Oh-for season with 27.4 points from Peyton Manning and 18.9 from Steve Slaton. Julius Jones — finally — showed his true self, scoring 3.5 points and Cedric Benson had a respectable 8.6.
Free-agent pickup Mike Sims-Walker scored two touchdowns and had 21.1 points.
He could have set the League record for points in a game if he had started Rashard Mendenhall, who had 31.1 points after a big night on Sunday Night Football.
But who needs 31.1 points? Not Houserville. He’s got one hell of an offense.
There are five other teams, however, who would love to have a problem like that.
And it figures that it came on the night when Brett Favre was squaring off against his former team.
The four aforementioned matchups all were decided by five or fewer points — quite amazing. We’ll do these recaps in order from closest matchup to blowout. Hey, that means Houserville’s last… And this week, he wasn’t the victim!
One Point
127.1 | Jimmy Jammers (2-2)
126.1 | Channel 4 News Team (2-2)
Leading by 31.6 points before kickoff Monday, the Jammers stared at his former quarterback and thought the worst.
The worst almost came true.
Rodgers threw for 384 yards and two touchdowns to accumulate 30.6 points — one point shy of the points necessary to tie.
The Packers were driving late and with 40 yards to go to the end zone and time winding down, there weren’t enough yards left on the field for Rodgers to lift News Team to a win.
He needed a touchdown.
First down, incomplete. Second down, sack. Third down, in and out of the hands. And fourth down, field goal?
A big sigh of relief as the Packers did the smart thing and kicked the field goal since they were down 10 points — this made World of Noise cry a small stream in Arizona, as you’ll read later.
Leading by one point, the Jammers watched the Packers line up for the onside kick. This is where Sidney Rice became the hero, leaping in the air to snag the high-flying onside kick. One kneel down and that was it.
Funny to note, that midway through the third when Rodgers had just 12 points, News Team’s backup, Brett Favre, had 31.5 points. He had to be kicking himself at that time, but Favre finished with 31.3, still not enough.
The Jammers got a great performance out of the Saints defense, which scored 37 points thanks to three interceptions, a fumble recovery and two touchdowns. Heath Miller’s 19-point performance on Sunday Night Football also was a major factor in the win.
Two-Point-Eight Points
108.4 | Dottsville Toasters (4-0)
105.6 | World of Noise (3-1)
Just as the Jammers was happy to see Aaron Rodgers head off the field on fourth down, the Toasters celebrated with the special butter and jam as kicker Mason Crosby walked on out.
Lining up for the three-point fantasy field goal, the kick was up and the kick was good. Essentially, the final play of the night as a failed onside kick and a kneel-down followed.
And then, the Toasters were 4-0!
Again, the Toasters had the wrong QB in the lineup as Schaub went for 14.9 and backup Kerry Collins had 23. Oh, this seems to be an every year thing for the Toasters, but the difference in 2009 is that it hasn’t cost him yet.
Ray Rice continues to be a great draft pick getting another 15.2 points and the Bears managed 33.5 points against the Lions — but who doesn’t?
World of Noise, a team that no one has any faith in — see the front page poll — had a chance to put the game away on Monday Night Football, but the Packers defense gave up too many yards and too many points, all while Chester Taylor had just 4.3 points.
The Toasters kept it close himself, as Greg Jennings had only 31 yards receiving, leaving it up to Crosby to win the game. And he came through. Who said kickers weren’t important?
Three-Point-Nine Points
110 | Chinese Organ Thieves (2-2)
106.1 | Graybill’s Generals (1-3)
This matchup went back-and-forth on Monday Night Football as the Thieves had Adrian Peterson and kicker Ryan Longwell and the Generals had Percy Harvin and Donald Driver.
Peterson was bottled up nicely leaving an opportunity for the Generals to steal a win from the Thieves; however, both of his wideouts came up short. Both Harvin (6.4 poitns) and Driver (5.5) had catches that had them coming up yards short of a touchdown — and therefore, yards short of a win.
Both the Thieves had great weeks from their quarterbacks, but the Thieves needed a big comeback attempt on Sunday to make this win possible. The Generals had Eli Manning put up 30.5 fantasy points on the Chiefs, but Rivers and the Chargers were absolutely struggling at halftime against the Steelers.
Then, the comeback to post 28.6 points and make the Monday Night win possible.
Both teams leave Week 4 banged up.
The Generals fall to 1-3 with Manning questionable with a heel injury that hasn’t been completely diagnosed yet. Most reports have Manning coming back this week, but “it will be painful.” He also lost Darren McFadden for a few weeks with a torn meniscus.
On the other side, Calvin Johnson (quad), Roy Williams (ribs) and Zach Miller (concussion) all suffered injuries that have them questionable for Week 5.
Good news for the Thieves is that in a battled Nittany South Division, he’s in first place with a 2-2 record.
Four-Point-Seven Points
103.8 | Sunday Slackers (4-0)
99.1 | Stanksta’s Gangsta’s (1-3)
The Slackers found gold. The Stank… Well, he found fool’s gold.
Steve Smith (NY) fueled the undefeated Slackers past Stank who had zero catches and zero points from Braylon Edwards.
To make things worse, Edwards furthered his case for needing to be dropped by punching one of LeBron James’ friends later that night at a club.
I’m not making this up. I’m a creative writer, but you can’t make crap up like this.
Great idea, Braylon. Not only does Cleveland hate you already for underperforming, you have to go and disrespect the King. That’s not going to fly, G-Funk.
I’m not sure how much longer Cleveland will put up with this mess of a wasted-talent, but I’m sure Stank’s leash is shorter.
The leash also has to be short for this year’s No. 1 overall pick, Steven Jackson. With another 8.5 points on Sunday, it’s likely that after the Saints’ bye week, he will be supplanted by backup Pierre Thomas who went for 19.7 fantasy points on the Slackers’ bench.
The Stank had a lot of guys on his bench, too, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that. Everyday starters Matt Ryan, Tony Gonzalez, and maybe new starter LeSean McCoy, all were on the bye week.
Even still, the Stank was right in the game and nearly pulled if off. In fact, Hines Ward was cruising toward the end zone Sunday night but was tackled short.
But who can blame Hines?
At least he caught the ball a couple times and didn’t punch Sidney Crosby’s best friend. That would have been the equivalent.
Bold Move Leaving Boldin In The Lineup
87 | T-Money (2-2)
70.3 | Team Boyer (0-4)
I’m not too sure, but maybe T-Money was on vacation or something?
He left an injured Anquan Boldin who was on the bye week in the lineup.
And he still won.
Not only that, he won with 87 points.
Team Boyer struggled in most areas, especially in defense starting the Titans (2 points) over the Texans (38). Not sure that I would have guessed that the Texans would have been better, but I definitely wouldn’t have figured them to be 36 points better.
Hester wasn’t any help, stepping to the side and letting Johnny Knox take over, and Le’Ron McClain had a big fat zero.
Which is what Boyer has in wins — zero.
It’s not exactly how the season was slated to go for this team.
Michael Turner was on the bye, leaving the void for McClain to fill.
At 0-4, things look bleak for Boyer, but there’s still a few weeks to turn things around. He has the players to make the turn around, but he’s going to have to start that turnaround next week, because only one team has come back from an 0-5 start to make the playoffs — the News Team of 2008.
So, there’s hope.
Holy Blowout, Batman
141.6 | Real Houserville (1-3)
88.6 | Fear and Loathing (2-2)
How do you avoid losing to high powered offenses week after week?
Why not take a page from their playbook?
Houserville put up a franchise-high 141.6 points. This breaks the record he set a week ago with 123.1 in a loss.
In fact, Houserville has scored more than 100 points in all four of his games this season. The Villains had only four in 13 regular season games last season.
This week, the majority of his points came from the 49ers defense which put up 49 points in a matchup against the Rams, who by the way, I think may be worse than the 2008 Lions. How crazy would it be to have 0-16 teams in back-to-back years?
Houserville avoided the Oh-for season with 27.4 points from Peyton Manning and 18.9 from Steve Slaton. Julius Jones — finally — showed his true self, scoring 3.5 points and Cedric Benson had a respectable 8.6.
Free-agent pickup Mike Sims-Walker scored two touchdowns and had 21.1 points.
He could have set the League record for points in a game if he had started Rashard Mendenhall, who had 31.1 points after a big night on Sunday Night Football.
But who needs 31.1 points? Not Houserville. He’s got one hell of an offense.
There are five other teams, however, who would love to have a problem like that.
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