Slack Stacked Up By Jammers
126.7 | Jimmy Jammers (3-2)
93.6 | Sunday Slackers (4-1)
A hate to say I told you so, but Braylon Edwards has arrived in New York.
Five catches — several of which were ESPN Top 10 worthy — 64 yards and a score for Mark Sanchez's new toy.
Yes, he dropped a sure touchdown catch, but he was in an all-out dive and was interfered with — or so the refs deemed it pass interference. No excuse, he still should have caught it.
Edwards' 12.4 points helped the Jammers remain consistent and score 126.7 points a week after they scored 127.1. (Interesting note, Leon Washington was in the lineup with Joseph Addai, but an injury question led to the start of Michael Bush. After all was said and done, all played and all scored double-digits. Anyway, to get to my point, had the lineup been left alone with Addai and Washington, the Jammers would have scored 127.1 points — the same total from last week.)
Larry Fitzgerald finally showed up big time, scoring two touchdowns, while Big Ben had a fun with the Lions, tossing three touchdowns — one to tight end Heath Miller — and threw for 277 yards.
On the other side, the Slackers were slacking in every department except the Ahmad Bradshaw department.
At about 2 p.m., the Slackers looked to be on their way to 5-0. Bradshaw was averaging a ridiculous 20 yards a touch ultimately finishing with 12 touches for 165 yards and two touchdowns.
Thankfully for the Jammers, the Giants were destroying the Raiders, put in David Carr in the second quarter and Bradshaw and WR Steve Smith didn't touch the ball in the second half.
Joe Flacco filled in for Brees and scored 13.9 points. The Slackers said he was hurt by not having Brees, but in fact, Flacco had a better output than Brees' Week 3 and 4 performances.
If Brees struggles in Week 6 against the Giants, the Slackers might say the reason he loses Week 7 is because Flacco was on the BYE.
And then, I'd say, I told you so — again.
House of Points
127.7 | Real Houserville (2-3)
108.1 | Team Boyer (0-5)
Team Boyer's offense finally showed up, but it unfortunately came against the Villains, who have been on a tear since the season started.
Team Boyer's Michael Turner came alive Sunday, scoring 27.7 fantasy points in the Falcons' rout of the 49ers.
But Houserville countered with 35 from Roddy White, who went for a ridiculous 210 yards and two touchdowns. In his prior three games, White had 119 yards and a touchdown.
Peyton Manning threw for another 309 yards and three touchdowns. He has 1,645 yards and 12 touchdowns with a 114.1 quarterback rating. In terms of fantasy football, he's had 18.6, 31.3, 42.4, 27.4 and 31.0 points. He is the most consistent fantasy player right now and as long he continues to do this, not only will he set NFL records and further his legacy in the game, he'll keep the Villains alive in the playoff — and maybe division — race.
Rashard Mendenhall also might be a reason he gets there, as the Steeler running back has jumped into the lineup for an injured Willie Parker and had his second straight big game.
OK, OK. If it isn't bad enough that Dawson was right about Willie Parker, he snags Mendenhall off the waiver wire after the Jammers dropped him due to lack of activity. Good pickup.
Damn You Al Davis
80.5 | Channel 4 News Team (3-2)
70.7 | Graybill's Generals (1-4)
Blaim the Raiders.
The Generals' quarterback Eli Manning scored 20.5 points and took a seat on the bench in the second quarter because the Giants were up 28-3.
That's just a little sampling of how bad the Raiders are.
And they have the same 1-4 record as the Generals, the defending JimmyJam Football League Champions.
If things keep going like they are for the Generals, there certainly will be a new champion this year.
So what happened to the Generals?
The biggest reason is because a lot of his team weighs heavily on the Carolina Panthers and two of their stars — DeAngelo Williams and Steve Smith. The two fantasy stars from year's past had a combined 12.4 points. And the Panthers won!?
Before Sunday's win, the Panthers were winless and last year's success was a distant memory.
If the Panthers can turn things around and do what many ESPN experts thought the Panthers would do, maybe the Generals can get back in the race. Otherwise, it's up to Eli — if he can play past the second quarter.
As for the News Team, they are tied for first place in the Nittany South Division, but a lot of that has to do with luck. With 80.5 points against the Generals, he was a lucky to be facing a team that scored just 70.7.
He would have lost to nine other teams if he wasn't playing Generals. The only other team he would have beaten would have been the Stank (and I'll get to that later).
To defend the News Team, they had QB Aaron Rodgers and RB Matt Forte on the BYE, which means he stole a BYE-week win.
That's what winning teams do, win during the BYE weeks.
Losing teams, like the Raiders, lose when they aren't on the BYE. Zing!
World of Noise Takes Control of Ball-and-Chain
141.8 | World of Noise (4-1)
90.4 | Fear and Loathing (2-3)
I've figured it out, and he's not going to like hearing it.
But World of Noise is the Dallas Cowboys of the JFL.
When he wins, he doesn't shut up. He's annoying with his verbose wall posts — so much so he's stolen the attention of Houserville's angst toward the Jammers and his blog posts.
The two teams are having at it on the wall post board right now, but right now, the annoying Cowboys can say, "Scoreboard."
After two big divisional wins, the Noisy Basterds are 4-1 and hold a two-game lead in the division with the highest scoring offense in the JFL.
It could have been higher if he had started Jeremy Maclin (30.2 points) over Jerricho Cotchery (0.4).
But that lineup messup didn't hurt. Noise got 38 points from McNabb, 21.8 from Ronnie Brown, 13.8 from Ricky Williams and 22.1 from Andre Johnson.
The Ronnie Brown-Ricky Williams experiment is working out well for the Noise. Together, they are averaging 29.3 points per week. If you can get that from two players consistently, you have to be happy with your draft.
He's one of three teams in the JFL trying this tactic (Jammers with Darren Sproles and LaDainian Tomlinson; and Organ Thieves with Tashard Choice and Marion Barber), but he's the one having the most success.
Looking back now and reviewing after five weeks, it's hard to say that the Noise didn't have the best draft. It's still early and there's plenty of time for this to change, but keeping McNabb and Westbrook and then taking Andre Johnson created a great 1-2-3 punch, and No. 2 (Westbrook) hasn't really gotten started yet. He then adds Williams and Brown and Dallas Clark, along with the Eagles defense which is averaging 23.0 points per week.
The only thing he needs right now is a wideout to complement Johnson. Maybe Maclin will be that complement.
And if that's the case, get ready, because the Noise will be even more boisterous.
T-Money Toasts The Toasters
102.8 | T-Money (3-2)
95.7 | Dottsville Toasters (4-1)
OK, so he wasn't toasted, but I like alliteration.
T-Money did end the winning streak though, bringing down the undefeated Toasters.
Going into this matchup, I mentioned in the preview that without top wideouts Greg Jennings and Vincent Jackson, the Toasters were going to struggle to win. With just 7.4 points from both of his replacements, the Toasters really missed them.
T-Money used a big week from Tony Romo (32 points) and the Vikings defense (23.5) to pull off the upset.
The Toasters can blame his wideouts if he'd like, but I think he should blame the Cowboys defense.
Confuse?
Well, the Cowboys defense let the Chiefs drive all the way down the way down the field and tie the game to force overtime. There, Romo hits Miles Austin for a long touchdown. That long touchdown was worth 11 points. The Toasters lost by eight points.
That would be where I place the blame, even though the comeback by the Money Man came on Monday night from Thomas Jones who scored 16.2 points with his 42 yards and two touchdowns.
Still, the Toasters hold control of the Nittany North. Let's toast to that.
Snoozing Strategy
105.2 | Chinese Organ Thieves (3-2)
75.5 | Stanksta's Gangstas (1-4)
Ugh, that was a tough one for the Stank.
Maurice Jones-Drew was on the wrong end of a 41-0 slaughter in Seattle. Brandon Jacobs was on the right side of a blowout, but a non-factor.
Cleveland's Jerome Harrison was the running back in a 6-3 pillow fight in Buffalo. So was wideout Josh Cribbs.
Hines Ward was the only one to come to the party, scoring 14.5 points. Mark Sanchez had 15.1 points, overshadowed by bench QB's Matt Ryan (34.3) and Kyle Orton (26.5).
Even one of those two QBs in the lineup, the Stank still falls as the Thieves benefited from an Adrian Peterson outburst in St. Louis (19.5 points) and a confirmation of the Brandon Marshall revival (19.0).
All of a sudden, the Organ Thieves have awaken. After sleeping in and missing the draft because he is a snooze machine, he's managed to ride his keepers and sleepers that he didn't pick.
Brandon Marshall was a huge risk at the start of the season because he was punting balls in training camp, rather than catching them, but boy has that turned out well for the Thieves.
After a slow start in Week 1 and 2, Marshall has scored double-digits every week, catching 17 passes for 222 yards and four touchdowns.
Not bad. I'm actually jealous.
Marion Barber and Tashard Choice have been a nice combo to have the last couple weeks, and with the reemergence of Jonathan Stewart last week, this lineup is starting to take shape.
The Thieves won with Phillip Rivers on the BYE, too, as Carson Palmer scored 19.3 points.
There's a question at wideout with injuries to Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams. Williams was out last week and Johnson had just two yards.
Nate Burleson had 23.8 points last week, but that is not a viable option — or at least has not showed it in the past. He's had big weeks, but he hasn't been consistent. However, if Williams and Johnson continue to put up zeroes, Burleson might be the next best option before hitting the waiver wire.
Either way, the Organ Thieves are 3-2 and tied for first with the News Team.
If he makes the playoffs, maybe the four teams that miss out should try his strategy. Hit the snooze on draft day and show up in round 15. Bring pancakes.
126.7 | Jimmy Jammers (3-2)
93.6 | Sunday Slackers (4-1)
A hate to say I told you so, but Braylon Edwards has arrived in New York.
Five catches — several of which were ESPN Top 10 worthy — 64 yards and a score for Mark Sanchez's new toy.
Yes, he dropped a sure touchdown catch, but he was in an all-out dive and was interfered with — or so the refs deemed it pass interference. No excuse, he still should have caught it.
Edwards' 12.4 points helped the Jammers remain consistent and score 126.7 points a week after they scored 127.1. (Interesting note, Leon Washington was in the lineup with Joseph Addai, but an injury question led to the start of Michael Bush. After all was said and done, all played and all scored double-digits. Anyway, to get to my point, had the lineup been left alone with Addai and Washington, the Jammers would have scored 127.1 points — the same total from last week.)
Larry Fitzgerald finally showed up big time, scoring two touchdowns, while Big Ben had a fun with the Lions, tossing three touchdowns — one to tight end Heath Miller — and threw for 277 yards.
On the other side, the Slackers were slacking in every department except the Ahmad Bradshaw department.
At about 2 p.m., the Slackers looked to be on their way to 5-0. Bradshaw was averaging a ridiculous 20 yards a touch ultimately finishing with 12 touches for 165 yards and two touchdowns.
Thankfully for the Jammers, the Giants were destroying the Raiders, put in David Carr in the second quarter and Bradshaw and WR Steve Smith didn't touch the ball in the second half.
Joe Flacco filled in for Brees and scored 13.9 points. The Slackers said he was hurt by not having Brees, but in fact, Flacco had a better output than Brees' Week 3 and 4 performances.
If Brees struggles in Week 6 against the Giants, the Slackers might say the reason he loses Week 7 is because Flacco was on the BYE.
And then, I'd say, I told you so — again.
House of Points
127.7 | Real Houserville (2-3)
108.1 | Team Boyer (0-5)
Team Boyer's offense finally showed up, but it unfortunately came against the Villains, who have been on a tear since the season started.
Team Boyer's Michael Turner came alive Sunday, scoring 27.7 fantasy points in the Falcons' rout of the 49ers.
But Houserville countered with 35 from Roddy White, who went for a ridiculous 210 yards and two touchdowns. In his prior three games, White had 119 yards and a touchdown.
Peyton Manning threw for another 309 yards and three touchdowns. He has 1,645 yards and 12 touchdowns with a 114.1 quarterback rating. In terms of fantasy football, he's had 18.6, 31.3, 42.4, 27.4 and 31.0 points. He is the most consistent fantasy player right now and as long he continues to do this, not only will he set NFL records and further his legacy in the game, he'll keep the Villains alive in the playoff — and maybe division — race.
Rashard Mendenhall also might be a reason he gets there, as the Steeler running back has jumped into the lineup for an injured Willie Parker and had his second straight big game.
OK, OK. If it isn't bad enough that Dawson was right about Willie Parker, he snags Mendenhall off the waiver wire after the Jammers dropped him due to lack of activity. Good pickup.
Damn You Al Davis
80.5 | Channel 4 News Team (3-2)
70.7 | Graybill's Generals (1-4)
Blaim the Raiders.
The Generals' quarterback Eli Manning scored 20.5 points and took a seat on the bench in the second quarter because the Giants were up 28-3.
That's just a little sampling of how bad the Raiders are.
And they have the same 1-4 record as the Generals, the defending JimmyJam Football League Champions.
If things keep going like they are for the Generals, there certainly will be a new champion this year.
So what happened to the Generals?
The biggest reason is because a lot of his team weighs heavily on the Carolina Panthers and two of their stars — DeAngelo Williams and Steve Smith. The two fantasy stars from year's past had a combined 12.4 points. And the Panthers won!?
Before Sunday's win, the Panthers were winless and last year's success was a distant memory.
If the Panthers can turn things around and do what many ESPN experts thought the Panthers would do, maybe the Generals can get back in the race. Otherwise, it's up to Eli — if he can play past the second quarter.
As for the News Team, they are tied for first place in the Nittany South Division, but a lot of that has to do with luck. With 80.5 points against the Generals, he was a lucky to be facing a team that scored just 70.7.
He would have lost to nine other teams if he wasn't playing Generals. The only other team he would have beaten would have been the Stank (and I'll get to that later).
To defend the News Team, they had QB Aaron Rodgers and RB Matt Forte on the BYE, which means he stole a BYE-week win.
That's what winning teams do, win during the BYE weeks.
Losing teams, like the Raiders, lose when they aren't on the BYE. Zing!
World of Noise Takes Control of Ball-and-Chain
141.8 | World of Noise (4-1)
90.4 | Fear and Loathing (2-3)
I've figured it out, and he's not going to like hearing it.
But World of Noise is the Dallas Cowboys of the JFL.
When he wins, he doesn't shut up. He's annoying with his verbose wall posts — so much so he's stolen the attention of Houserville's angst toward the Jammers and his blog posts.
The two teams are having at it on the wall post board right now, but right now, the annoying Cowboys can say, "Scoreboard."
After two big divisional wins, the Noisy Basterds are 4-1 and hold a two-game lead in the division with the highest scoring offense in the JFL.
It could have been higher if he had started Jeremy Maclin (30.2 points) over Jerricho Cotchery (0.4).
But that lineup messup didn't hurt. Noise got 38 points from McNabb, 21.8 from Ronnie Brown, 13.8 from Ricky Williams and 22.1 from Andre Johnson.
The Ronnie Brown-Ricky Williams experiment is working out well for the Noise. Together, they are averaging 29.3 points per week. If you can get that from two players consistently, you have to be happy with your draft.
He's one of three teams in the JFL trying this tactic (Jammers with Darren Sproles and LaDainian Tomlinson; and Organ Thieves with Tashard Choice and Marion Barber), but he's the one having the most success.
Looking back now and reviewing after five weeks, it's hard to say that the Noise didn't have the best draft. It's still early and there's plenty of time for this to change, but keeping McNabb and Westbrook and then taking Andre Johnson created a great 1-2-3 punch, and No. 2 (Westbrook) hasn't really gotten started yet. He then adds Williams and Brown and Dallas Clark, along with the Eagles defense which is averaging 23.0 points per week.
The only thing he needs right now is a wideout to complement Johnson. Maybe Maclin will be that complement.
And if that's the case, get ready, because the Noise will be even more boisterous.
T-Money Toasts The Toasters
102.8 | T-Money (3-2)
95.7 | Dottsville Toasters (4-1)
OK, so he wasn't toasted, but I like alliteration.
T-Money did end the winning streak though, bringing down the undefeated Toasters.
Going into this matchup, I mentioned in the preview that without top wideouts Greg Jennings and Vincent Jackson, the Toasters were going to struggle to win. With just 7.4 points from both of his replacements, the Toasters really missed them.
T-Money used a big week from Tony Romo (32 points) and the Vikings defense (23.5) to pull off the upset.
The Toasters can blame his wideouts if he'd like, but I think he should blame the Cowboys defense.
Confuse?
Well, the Cowboys defense let the Chiefs drive all the way down the way down the field and tie the game to force overtime. There, Romo hits Miles Austin for a long touchdown. That long touchdown was worth 11 points. The Toasters lost by eight points.
That would be where I place the blame, even though the comeback by the Money Man came on Monday night from Thomas Jones who scored 16.2 points with his 42 yards and two touchdowns.
Still, the Toasters hold control of the Nittany North. Let's toast to that.
Snoozing Strategy
105.2 | Chinese Organ Thieves (3-2)
75.5 | Stanksta's Gangstas (1-4)
Ugh, that was a tough one for the Stank.
Maurice Jones-Drew was on the wrong end of a 41-0 slaughter in Seattle. Brandon Jacobs was on the right side of a blowout, but a non-factor.
Cleveland's Jerome Harrison was the running back in a 6-3 pillow fight in Buffalo. So was wideout Josh Cribbs.
Hines Ward was the only one to come to the party, scoring 14.5 points. Mark Sanchez had 15.1 points, overshadowed by bench QB's Matt Ryan (34.3) and Kyle Orton (26.5).
Even one of those two QBs in the lineup, the Stank still falls as the Thieves benefited from an Adrian Peterson outburst in St. Louis (19.5 points) and a confirmation of the Brandon Marshall revival (19.0).
All of a sudden, the Organ Thieves have awaken. After sleeping in and missing the draft because he is a snooze machine, he's managed to ride his keepers and sleepers that he didn't pick.
Brandon Marshall was a huge risk at the start of the season because he was punting balls in training camp, rather than catching them, but boy has that turned out well for the Thieves.
After a slow start in Week 1 and 2, Marshall has scored double-digits every week, catching 17 passes for 222 yards and four touchdowns.
Not bad. I'm actually jealous.
Marion Barber and Tashard Choice have been a nice combo to have the last couple weeks, and with the reemergence of Jonathan Stewart last week, this lineup is starting to take shape.
The Thieves won with Phillip Rivers on the BYE, too, as Carson Palmer scored 19.3 points.
There's a question at wideout with injuries to Calvin Johnson and Roy Williams. Williams was out last week and Johnson had just two yards.
Nate Burleson had 23.8 points last week, but that is not a viable option — or at least has not showed it in the past. He's had big weeks, but he hasn't been consistent. However, if Williams and Johnson continue to put up zeroes, Burleson might be the next best option before hitting the waiver wire.
Either way, the Organ Thieves are 3-2 and tied for first with the News Team.
If he makes the playoffs, maybe the four teams that miss out should try his strategy. Hit the snooze on draft day and show up in round 15. Bring pancakes.
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