With two weeks left, things are starting to take shape.
In the Office Space Conference, there will be a nice, brotherly love race for the No. 1 seed, while in the Ron Burgundy Conference, there will be an all out scrum for the final three playoff spots as the Toasters remain the only team with a guaranteed playoff berth.
The Toasters, despite falling to the Jammers on Monday night, clinched the Nittany North and the regular-season conference championship. He will be the No. 1 seed.
Nos. 2, 3 and 4 are completely up for grabs. Here’s a team-by-team analysis, but there are so many scenarios, so I’m just going to give the obvious ones.
Channel 4 News Team (6-5): At this point, if Nikish beats the Organ Thieves this week, he will be 3-0 in the division and will therefore clinch the division. A loss, coupled with a Fear and Loathing win over Graybill’s Generals also will clinched the division title.
Graybill Generals (5-6): The Generals have won three in a row and they’ll have to win two more to win the division. Graybill will need the Thieves to beat the News Team this week; and then beat the News Team in Week 13 to win the division and the No. 2 seed.
Chinese Organ Thieves (4-7): In a bit of a hole, the Thieves definitely need two wins to get in and then some help. With three 5-6 teams, the obvious thing is, he needs them to lose — and lose more than once, because he does not own the tie-breaker over any of them.
T-Money (5-6): At this point, T-Money owns the tie-breaker over Team Boyer, the News Team, and the Thieves. However, the News Team is one game ahead and the Thieves are one-game behind, so it only applies to Team Boyer right now. So with that said, two wins gets T-Money to the dance. But the final two games are brutal — in fact, the final five games were/are against teams that are a combined 35-20, including three 8-3 teams and a 6-5 team. Rough. A win this week by T-Money, plus a loss from Team Boyer will guarantee a playoff spot for T-Money. Nothing else can guarantee a berth until Week 13.
Team Boyer (5-6): Simple, Boyer can’t clinch this weekend. But winning would help his chances for Week 13.
In the Office Space Conference, it’s easy. Stank and Fear have been eliminated, meaning the field of four is set. Just where will they be?
At this point, Noise (8-3) is guaranteed to be No. 1 or 2, nothing less. He needs to win out and have the Jammers lose at least one game, or Jammers lose two games, and Noise must win one. Otherwise, it’s the Jammers as the No. 1 seed.
The Jammers could be anywhere from No. 1 to No. 3. A win this week for the Jammers will clinch the Golden Bear Division title and a top two seed. The Slackers need to win out and have the Jammers lose out to win the division. If that were to happen, the Jammers would be 1-3 in the division and the Slackers would be 3-1, winning the tiebreaker. The Slackers would be the No. 2 seed in that scenario, no matter what with the Noise holding the head-to-head tie-breaker.
Houserville is in with his win and is currently the No. 4 seed. He can get the No. 3 seed with two wins and two losses by the Slackers. The Slackers have a one-game lead and hold the tie-breaker.
And that’s the Office Space Conference in a nutshell — much easier than that sloppy RBC.
If you see any scenarios that I missed in the RBC, which is possible, let me know and I’ll add them. I just wrote the obvious ones.
Here's the playoff race as it stands:
Office Space Conference
1. *Jimmy Jammers (8-3) y
2. * World of Noise (8-3) z
Wild Card Race
3. Sunday Slackers (6-5) y
4. Real Houserville (5-6) y
Ron Burgundy Conference
1. Dottsville Toasters (8-3) z #
2. Channel 4 News Team (6-5) x
Wild Card Race
3. T-Money (5-6) x
4. *Team Boyer (5-6) x
5. *Graybill's Generals (5-6)
6. Chinese Organ Thieves (4-7)
# - Conference regular season champion/No. 1 seed
z - Division Winner
y – Clinched Playoff Berth
x - Clinched if playoffs started today
* - Jammers & Boyer own the head-to-head
Houserville 111.8, Fear and Loathing 104.7
Well, that’s it for Fear and Loathing. Pack your bags. Figure out who you’re keeping because you’re 2009 season is over.
Stank, you too.
Houserville, with one TD catch by Steve Slaton, single-handedly knocked Fear and Stank out of the playoffs, and clinched the fourth and final spot in the Office Space Conference.
Because of his loss to the Slackers in the season opener, he will be the No. 4 seed unless he wins two straight and the Slackers drop two straight.
Houserville will now rest up his brain for two weeks as his decisions will not matter whatsoever; they will only help his overall franchise standing — a franchise he said he feels like quitting on each weekend in his latest message board post.
Calm down, ‘Ville. You’re in the playoffs.
He avoided a big collapse this week getting double-digits from Rashard Mendenhall, Bernard Scott and Mike Sims-Walker.
Mendenhall had a receiving TD, which has to calm down the Ville’s cat calls for “Big Zero’s” head.
Speaking of Big Ben, he’ll be back next week against the Ravens, who held Real’s Peyton Manning to 16.4 fantasy points. Manning still had 299 yards passing, but just one TD and an uncharacteristic two interceptions.
Fear and Loathing made this a game with Kurt Warner’s 20 points (203 yards and 2 TDs) and Jamaal Charles’ 26.1 points (58 yards, receiving TD and kickoff return for TD).
Warner went down with a neck injury and that may force Fear and Loathing to use Jason Campbell for the rest of the regular season. It also may mark the need for a new QB for the Fear franchise.
Looking ahead, Randy Moss is a keeper, but it’s tough to say who else he’d pick — Lord knows he can’t possible choose Felix Jones again.
An offseason trade may be in the works come next July.
Jammers 131.4, Toasters 124
Wide right.
The phrase makes Buffalo Bills’ fans cringe and cry.
Wide left is the Toasters’ bugaboo.
Kris Brown missed a field goal wide left that would have forced overtime and given the Toasters an easy shot at gaining another 7.4 points, no matter who won the coin toss.
But there was no overtime and instead, the Toasters could only wonder why they didn’t start Greg Jennings over Miles Austin.
Payback’s a bitch.
In Week 3 of 2008, the Jammers lost to the Toasters on a night where he benched LaDainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers, who combined for 46 points. The Jammers lost by four, 103-99.
So, the two teams are even — literally.
At 8-3, the two teams are at the top of their respective conferences and could be on a collision course for a rematch in Week 16.
The Jammers got 33.9 points from Big Ben and 15.5 from tight end Heath Miller, a big part of the 131.4-point Sunday.
Other than the kicker position where four points were lost in starting Matt Prater over Joe Nedney, the Jammers started the best nine players on his roster.
Joseph Addai, looking like the MVP of the Jammers, notched his eighth straight double-digit performance and ninth in 10 weeks of football. He’s scored touchdowns in seven of the Colts’ last eight games, totaling 10 on the 2009 season.
Larry Fitzgerald scored his ninth TD of the season and Tomlinson is making a late-season resurgence, as are the Chargers, which could prove pivotal in the Jammers success from here on out.
Lastly, the Saints scored 24 points against, holding the Bucs to seven points.
The Toasters did not have a bad week at all, and easily could have won posting 124 points. The biggest surprise and nearly the catalyst to victory was Kevin Boss, who doubled his TD total to four with two grabs and 76 yards Sunday.
All three of the Toasters’ running backs scored double-digits, but not one got into the end zone.
Chris Johnson looked like he was going to break a few long TDs, any of which would have won the matchup over the Jammers. (Thank you, Texans’ safeties, because you were MY last line of defense Monday.)
Also, thank you Vince Young for your improved passing game.
Who knows, maybe VY will be in the starting lineup if the Jammers face the Toasters again.
Generals 110.1, Organ Thieves 105.2
A rookie and a third-year WR on a horrible team nearly made the difference.
Instead, it was a rookie WR on a really good team and a rookie QB on another bad team that made the difference.
Percy Harvin had 79 yards and a TD (15.1 points), outperforming the Thieves’ ace Adrian Peterson (9.8), and Jets’ QB Mark Sanchez threw four INTs that the Generals’ Patriots defense benefited from.
One of those INTs was returned for a TD, giving the Generals 27 points from their defense.
The 30-point headstart from Thursday’s game thanks to DeAngelo Williams (15.1) and Steve Smith (14.7).
The Generals also benefited from a poor Sunday by the Thieves Philip Rivers — just 13 points as compared to Graybill’s 16.1 from David Garrard.
The win puts the Generals at 5-6, just one behind the News Team (6-5) and one ahead of the Thieves (4-7).
Stank’s 123.1, Slackers 117.4
The Stank pulled another late-season upset. Last year it led to the playoffs. This season, it led to a little hope until it was crushed by Houserville Monday night.
Still, he set down his division rival in a fun contest.
And despite the 3-8 record and the guaranteed top four draft pick, the Stank has a bright 2010, I believe.
Maurice Jones-Drew had a sub-par day Sunday, yet still scored 14.4 points.
Matt Ryan had a better day, scoring 24.4 points in the midst of his sophomore slump.
LeSean McCoy had 13.9 points, scoring the game-winning score for the Eagles and the Stank. After fumbling and nearly costing the Eagles and the Stank a win, he redeemed himself with a nice TD scamper a few minutes later.
Another rookie, Michael Crabtree, had a big day, going for 77 yards and a TD.
It’s hard to fathom how this team is 3-8, but now it’s time for the Stank to move on and make some franchise decisions — like who to keep and who to trade in the offseason.
There are four to five potential keepers on this team, and there should be interested parties in the offseason, which means the No 1, 2, 3 or 4 overall draft pick could be coupled with another high pick.
Before I move on, I just would like to say, the Slackers made a last-minute roster change and prevented Ryan Moats’ JFL debut.
The curse of the Moats led to his fifth loss.
Team Boyer 102.7, T-Money 93.3
Despite starting a running back who was kept out of the lineup, Team Boyer still won and moved one step closer to the playoffs with a win over division rival T-Money.
Team Boyer will remain in third place in the division, even though he’s tied with T-Money at 5-6, but he’s in the fourth playoff spot right now.
Tom Brady had another 310 yards and a TD, and 192 of those yards went to Wes Welker. Nice combo for Boyer, who got 42.7 from the two.
He also got 20.5 points from Ryan Grant, who had a breakout game against the Niners, going for 129 yards and a TD.
The rest of his skill players were bad. Lee Evans had just 1.5 points after his big explosion last week. Greg Olsen had just 4.2 but could have had more with a more accurate Cutler.
Devin Hester had 2.3 and could have had more, too, but Cutler was overthrowing players all game.
All Hester did was moon all those fans who’ve been waiting all day for Sunday night.
The Titans defense limited the Texans enough to not dip below seven points and solidify the win.
T-Money again was cursed by the late-season struggles of Tony Romo, who threw for just 158 yards, a late score and an INT (11.9 points).
Not good for a team fighting to stay in the playoff hunt.
Backups Derek Anderson and Mark Sanchez, however, force Romo to stay on the field for T-Money.
News Team 141, Noise 129.2
What’s that noise?
Oh, it’s the sound of defeat.
And it sounded like four players scored 20-plus points for the News Team in a heck of an upset in Week 11.
Aaron Rodgers scored 32.3 points, throwing for 344 yards and two TDs. Kevin Smith was big with 20.9 points; Terrell Owens had a 98-yard TD catch and 27.7 points; and DeSean Jackson had 20.2 points.
The Noise tried to make a Monday Night comeback, but Andre Johnson had 13.8 points. Overtime may have helped, but the likelihood of the Texans scoring a TD via Johnson in OT was not high.
And this loss comes as a big bummer for the Noise after getting 33.8 points from Ricky Williams on Thursday night. A victory seemed certain on Friday morning. A field goal wide left on Monday night made him certain that he’ll never have Kris Brown on his fantasy team.
In the Office Space Conference, there will be a nice, brotherly love race for the No. 1 seed, while in the Ron Burgundy Conference, there will be an all out scrum for the final three playoff spots as the Toasters remain the only team with a guaranteed playoff berth.
The Toasters, despite falling to the Jammers on Monday night, clinched the Nittany North and the regular-season conference championship. He will be the No. 1 seed.
Nos. 2, 3 and 4 are completely up for grabs. Here’s a team-by-team analysis, but there are so many scenarios, so I’m just going to give the obvious ones.
Channel 4 News Team (6-5): At this point, if Nikish beats the Organ Thieves this week, he will be 3-0 in the division and will therefore clinch the division. A loss, coupled with a Fear and Loathing win over Graybill’s Generals also will clinched the division title.
Graybill Generals (5-6): The Generals have won three in a row and they’ll have to win two more to win the division. Graybill will need the Thieves to beat the News Team this week; and then beat the News Team in Week 13 to win the division and the No. 2 seed.
Chinese Organ Thieves (4-7): In a bit of a hole, the Thieves definitely need two wins to get in and then some help. With three 5-6 teams, the obvious thing is, he needs them to lose — and lose more than once, because he does not own the tie-breaker over any of them.
T-Money (5-6): At this point, T-Money owns the tie-breaker over Team Boyer, the News Team, and the Thieves. However, the News Team is one game ahead and the Thieves are one-game behind, so it only applies to Team Boyer right now. So with that said, two wins gets T-Money to the dance. But the final two games are brutal — in fact, the final five games were/are against teams that are a combined 35-20, including three 8-3 teams and a 6-5 team. Rough. A win this week by T-Money, plus a loss from Team Boyer will guarantee a playoff spot for T-Money. Nothing else can guarantee a berth until Week 13.
Team Boyer (5-6): Simple, Boyer can’t clinch this weekend. But winning would help his chances for Week 13.
In the Office Space Conference, it’s easy. Stank and Fear have been eliminated, meaning the field of four is set. Just where will they be?
At this point, Noise (8-3) is guaranteed to be No. 1 or 2, nothing less. He needs to win out and have the Jammers lose at least one game, or Jammers lose two games, and Noise must win one. Otherwise, it’s the Jammers as the No. 1 seed.
The Jammers could be anywhere from No. 1 to No. 3. A win this week for the Jammers will clinch the Golden Bear Division title and a top two seed. The Slackers need to win out and have the Jammers lose out to win the division. If that were to happen, the Jammers would be 1-3 in the division and the Slackers would be 3-1, winning the tiebreaker. The Slackers would be the No. 2 seed in that scenario, no matter what with the Noise holding the head-to-head tie-breaker.
Houserville is in with his win and is currently the No. 4 seed. He can get the No. 3 seed with two wins and two losses by the Slackers. The Slackers have a one-game lead and hold the tie-breaker.
And that’s the Office Space Conference in a nutshell — much easier than that sloppy RBC.
If you see any scenarios that I missed in the RBC, which is possible, let me know and I’ll add them. I just wrote the obvious ones.
Here's the playoff race as it stands:
Office Space Conference
1. *Jimmy Jammers (8-3) y
2. * World of Noise (8-3) z
Wild Card Race
3. Sunday Slackers (6-5) y
4. Real Houserville (5-6) y
Ron Burgundy Conference
1. Dottsville Toasters (8-3) z #
2. Channel 4 News Team (6-5) x
Wild Card Race
3. T-Money (5-6) x
4. *Team Boyer (5-6) x
5. *Graybill's Generals (5-6)
6. Chinese Organ Thieves (4-7)
# - Conference regular season champion/No. 1 seed
z - Division Winner
y – Clinched Playoff Berth
x - Clinched if playoffs started today
* - Jammers & Boyer own the head-to-head
Houserville 111.8, Fear and Loathing 104.7
Well, that’s it for Fear and Loathing. Pack your bags. Figure out who you’re keeping because you’re 2009 season is over.
Stank, you too.
Houserville, with one TD catch by Steve Slaton, single-handedly knocked Fear and Stank out of the playoffs, and clinched the fourth and final spot in the Office Space Conference.
Because of his loss to the Slackers in the season opener, he will be the No. 4 seed unless he wins two straight and the Slackers drop two straight.
Houserville will now rest up his brain for two weeks as his decisions will not matter whatsoever; they will only help his overall franchise standing — a franchise he said he feels like quitting on each weekend in his latest message board post.
Calm down, ‘Ville. You’re in the playoffs.
He avoided a big collapse this week getting double-digits from Rashard Mendenhall, Bernard Scott and Mike Sims-Walker.
Mendenhall had a receiving TD, which has to calm down the Ville’s cat calls for “Big Zero’s” head.
Speaking of Big Ben, he’ll be back next week against the Ravens, who held Real’s Peyton Manning to 16.4 fantasy points. Manning still had 299 yards passing, but just one TD and an uncharacteristic two interceptions.
Fear and Loathing made this a game with Kurt Warner’s 20 points (203 yards and 2 TDs) and Jamaal Charles’ 26.1 points (58 yards, receiving TD and kickoff return for TD).
Warner went down with a neck injury and that may force Fear and Loathing to use Jason Campbell for the rest of the regular season. It also may mark the need for a new QB for the Fear franchise.
Looking ahead, Randy Moss is a keeper, but it’s tough to say who else he’d pick — Lord knows he can’t possible choose Felix Jones again.
An offseason trade may be in the works come next July.
Jammers 131.4, Toasters 124
Wide right.
The phrase makes Buffalo Bills’ fans cringe and cry.
Wide left is the Toasters’ bugaboo.
Kris Brown missed a field goal wide left that would have forced overtime and given the Toasters an easy shot at gaining another 7.4 points, no matter who won the coin toss.
But there was no overtime and instead, the Toasters could only wonder why they didn’t start Greg Jennings over Miles Austin.
Payback’s a bitch.
In Week 3 of 2008, the Jammers lost to the Toasters on a night where he benched LaDainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers, who combined for 46 points. The Jammers lost by four, 103-99.
So, the two teams are even — literally.
At 8-3, the two teams are at the top of their respective conferences and could be on a collision course for a rematch in Week 16.
The Jammers got 33.9 points from Big Ben and 15.5 from tight end Heath Miller, a big part of the 131.4-point Sunday.
Other than the kicker position where four points were lost in starting Matt Prater over Joe Nedney, the Jammers started the best nine players on his roster.
Joseph Addai, looking like the MVP of the Jammers, notched his eighth straight double-digit performance and ninth in 10 weeks of football. He’s scored touchdowns in seven of the Colts’ last eight games, totaling 10 on the 2009 season.
Larry Fitzgerald scored his ninth TD of the season and Tomlinson is making a late-season resurgence, as are the Chargers, which could prove pivotal in the Jammers success from here on out.
Lastly, the Saints scored 24 points against, holding the Bucs to seven points.
The Toasters did not have a bad week at all, and easily could have won posting 124 points. The biggest surprise and nearly the catalyst to victory was Kevin Boss, who doubled his TD total to four with two grabs and 76 yards Sunday.
All three of the Toasters’ running backs scored double-digits, but not one got into the end zone.
Chris Johnson looked like he was going to break a few long TDs, any of which would have won the matchup over the Jammers. (Thank you, Texans’ safeties, because you were MY last line of defense Monday.)
Also, thank you Vince Young for your improved passing game.
Who knows, maybe VY will be in the starting lineup if the Jammers face the Toasters again.
Generals 110.1, Organ Thieves 105.2
A rookie and a third-year WR on a horrible team nearly made the difference.
Instead, it was a rookie WR on a really good team and a rookie QB on another bad team that made the difference.
Percy Harvin had 79 yards and a TD (15.1 points), outperforming the Thieves’ ace Adrian Peterson (9.8), and Jets’ QB Mark Sanchez threw four INTs that the Generals’ Patriots defense benefited from.
One of those INTs was returned for a TD, giving the Generals 27 points from their defense.
The 30-point headstart from Thursday’s game thanks to DeAngelo Williams (15.1) and Steve Smith (14.7).
The Generals also benefited from a poor Sunday by the Thieves Philip Rivers — just 13 points as compared to Graybill’s 16.1 from David Garrard.
The win puts the Generals at 5-6, just one behind the News Team (6-5) and one ahead of the Thieves (4-7).
Stank’s 123.1, Slackers 117.4
The Stank pulled another late-season upset. Last year it led to the playoffs. This season, it led to a little hope until it was crushed by Houserville Monday night.
Still, he set down his division rival in a fun contest.
And despite the 3-8 record and the guaranteed top four draft pick, the Stank has a bright 2010, I believe.
Maurice Jones-Drew had a sub-par day Sunday, yet still scored 14.4 points.
Matt Ryan had a better day, scoring 24.4 points in the midst of his sophomore slump.
LeSean McCoy had 13.9 points, scoring the game-winning score for the Eagles and the Stank. After fumbling and nearly costing the Eagles and the Stank a win, he redeemed himself with a nice TD scamper a few minutes later.
Another rookie, Michael Crabtree, had a big day, going for 77 yards and a TD.
It’s hard to fathom how this team is 3-8, but now it’s time for the Stank to move on and make some franchise decisions — like who to keep and who to trade in the offseason.
There are four to five potential keepers on this team, and there should be interested parties in the offseason, which means the No 1, 2, 3 or 4 overall draft pick could be coupled with another high pick.
Before I move on, I just would like to say, the Slackers made a last-minute roster change and prevented Ryan Moats’ JFL debut.
The curse of the Moats led to his fifth loss.
Team Boyer 102.7, T-Money 93.3
Despite starting a running back who was kept out of the lineup, Team Boyer still won and moved one step closer to the playoffs with a win over division rival T-Money.
Team Boyer will remain in third place in the division, even though he’s tied with T-Money at 5-6, but he’s in the fourth playoff spot right now.
Tom Brady had another 310 yards and a TD, and 192 of those yards went to Wes Welker. Nice combo for Boyer, who got 42.7 from the two.
He also got 20.5 points from Ryan Grant, who had a breakout game against the Niners, going for 129 yards and a TD.
The rest of his skill players were bad. Lee Evans had just 1.5 points after his big explosion last week. Greg Olsen had just 4.2 but could have had more with a more accurate Cutler.
Devin Hester had 2.3 and could have had more, too, but Cutler was overthrowing players all game.
All Hester did was moon all those fans who’ve been waiting all day for Sunday night.
The Titans defense limited the Texans enough to not dip below seven points and solidify the win.
T-Money again was cursed by the late-season struggles of Tony Romo, who threw for just 158 yards, a late score and an INT (11.9 points).
Not good for a team fighting to stay in the playoff hunt.
Backups Derek Anderson and Mark Sanchez, however, force Romo to stay on the field for T-Money.
News Team 141, Noise 129.2
What’s that noise?
Oh, it’s the sound of defeat.
And it sounded like four players scored 20-plus points for the News Team in a heck of an upset in Week 11.
Aaron Rodgers scored 32.3 points, throwing for 344 yards and two TDs. Kevin Smith was big with 20.9 points; Terrell Owens had a 98-yard TD catch and 27.7 points; and DeSean Jackson had 20.2 points.
The Noise tried to make a Monday Night comeback, but Andre Johnson had 13.8 points. Overtime may have helped, but the likelihood of the Texans scoring a TD via Johnson in OT was not high.
And this loss comes as a big bummer for the Noise after getting 33.8 points from Ricky Williams on Thursday night. A victory seemed certain on Friday morning. A field goal wide left on Monday night made him certain that he’ll never have Kris Brown on his fantasy team.
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