I picked a hell of a week to miss a football Sunday.
I'm starting to wonder why I'm playing Eliminator with teams.
I should be playing it with players. I added an IR spot this year or last — I can't remember when I moved it to three exactly — but that's starting to look like it's not enough.
Last week, it was like a single-camera horror film. Everyone is dying. I fully expected the FOX camera to drop and fall to the grass, followed by a grainy shot of Tom Brady being dragged out of the picture while screaming.
I guess it's appropriate that it's October.
Last week's horrors led to the NFL reacting immediately. I agree with the NFL's wishes to end the injuries, and hopefully the suspension rules will cause players to think twice.
NOT when they're tackling. But when a player clearly drops the ball and there is no need to hit him. There are a lot of unnecessary hits and that's what needs to stop.
I also feel like offenses have to take steps to prevent their stars from being laid out.
That being said, I was on the IR this week. After several nights out for Phillies games (hopefully I will have some more), an Eagles game and 311 concert, I needed to use all my extra time to get work done. Bills must be paid, and since I do not get paid by the word for my fantasy blog, it was important to hold off on Week 6 recap.
I will touch on last week's wins in the preview. Here we go.
Dottsville Toasters (3-3) at Fear and Loathing (3-3)
It was a "Dewey Wins!" kind of moment for Fear.
He had lost 93.3-93, but then a stat correction midweek gave him two extra points and the win.
As fate would have it, his opponent, News Team, benched a player on Monday because he had the "win." So out of fairness for the game, I as the Commish had to award Nikish the points for his benched player, which gave Fear the loss again.
"I have no qualms with that," Fear texted me on Friday.
He will if he misses the playoffs by one game. But then again, he controls his own destiny right now. At 3-3, he's in a first-place tie with rival Houserville, but owns the tie-breaker right now.
The Toasters also is 3-3 and is in first, but he, too, is in a tie. And it's not with just one team. The entire Nittany North Division is 3-3.
That means the next four weeks will be crucial for the division before we get to Week 11 when the divisional matchups return.
Unfortunately for the Toasters, during this crucial time, he might find himself climbing back into the race after a loss this weekend.
Fear and Loathing got Jay Cutler back last week, but didn't get any touchdowns from the Bears QB. He should have a better day at home against the Redskins, who are much better against the run than against the pass.
Which means the Toasters will get fewer rushing yards from Matt Forte, who had just 11 yards last week. He'll be more likely to get receiving points from him, which will take away from Cutler's output. The Toasters could also do the same with Johnny Knox, who finally had a 100-yard receiving day last week.
But for the Toasters, the biggest question is Carson Palmer, who is taking the place of Matt Schaub who is on the BYE. Palmer has been spotty. He's had big numbers at times, but he also has turned the ball over 10 times, including three interceptions last week.
Against a tough Atlanta defense that is going to come out with a vengeance after last week's debacle in Philly, Palmer may be in trouble. So may be Chris Johnson, who is going up against a Philly D that shut down Michael Turner last week. Then again, the last time the Eagles faced a speed back like Johnson, it was Detroit's Jahvid Best who went wild.
Jammers' Prediction: Fear 119, Toasters 111
Chinese Organ Thieves (5-1) at T-Money (3-3)
Would you look at this wideout corps.
I guarantee you if I went to Eric Schiavo, owner of the Thieves, at the start of the 2010 season and said, "Your three WRs in Week 7 will be Jeremy Maclin, Danny Woodhead and Lance Moore," he would have responded with: "Really? Who? And oh God."
But that hasn't been the case. Maclin is emerging as a No. 1, especially with DeSean Jackson out for the foreseeable future. Lance Moore has filled in nicely for Reggie Bush, who is mending his leg — and his relationship with Kim Kardashian ("Put me on the IR coach!"). ... And there's nothing wrong with a rehab plan like that. The doctor did tell him to stay off his broken leg.
And Danny Woodhead was a Hard Knocks star that the Jets didn't hold onto. Now he's on the Pats and is making a name for himself. He's had double-digit performances in his last three games.
All three have decent to very good matchups this week and they should again help the Thieves win, moving to 6-1.
So should his trio of backs, who have been solid throughout — Adrian Peterson, LeSean McCoy and Thomas Jones.
To make things better for the Thieves, his Ravens defense i playing the Buffalo Bum-Bills.
Chalk that up for 30 points — at least.
Jammers' Prediction: Thieves 155, T-Money 120
Real Houserville (3-3) at Sunday Slackers (3-3)
It's Matt Hasselbeck times.
It happens once a year for Mike Dawson. There's that one week where he has to click the MOVE button next to Peyton Manning and send him to the bench.
It's got to be a painful click, I'm sure.
But he did it.
Fortunately, Matt Hasselbeck is going up against the Cardinals. Then again, it is Matt Hasselbeck, and it's why the slight edge in this matchup goes to the Slackers.
The Sunday Slackers have Drew Brees against Cleveland, which should be good for all sorts of points.
But the rest of the team is up in the air. Steven Jackson and Cedric Benson should have double-digit days, but they're both on the road and that could make it tough.
The key for the Slackers will be his WRs. Mike Wallace re-emerged last week with the return of Big Ben, but Hakeem Nicks went back into his shell. He came out the week prior with a huge 27-point day. Now, he went back into hiding.
Who will come out in the big divisional matchup in Dallas?
For Houserville, to move to 4-3 and keep pace with Fear and Loathing, it's going to come down to the WRs as well. Greg Jennings is a tough play against Minnesota and Brandon Marshall is up against the Steelers. That's where if Houserville can get double-digts, he'll survive the Peyton-less week.
Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 120, Slackers 119
World of Noise (1-5) at Team Boyer (3-3)
Decimated by injuries and depleted with the BYE week, Noise should have loss No. 6 coming around 4 p.m. Sunday. With only Wes Welker playing at 4 p.m., he should only be playing to get the Noise over the 60-point mark.
They would have been on the BYE anyway, but Noise lost Dallas Clark for the season and Austin Collie appears to be heading that route as well. Andre Johnson is on the BYE, leaving it up to a mixtures of maybes and a trio of Dolphins going against the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Good luck with that.)
That's why it's very easy to see why Team Boyer will break his three-game losing streak, which has been tough to endure. He was flying high at 3-0, with two divisional wins and all of a sudden, he's back with the pack.
A lot of that has to do with his backs.
Michael Turner has been a disappointment throughout with small outputs and injuries. Ryan Matthews has struggled and quelled the hype he received at the start of the season. A first-round pick in many fantasy leagues, he has been a bust.
I'm sure draft strategies will change dramatically next year.
It seemed like everyone was on the wagon to get the next best thing, and it seems like everyone thought every rookie was going to be that guy.
That hasn't happened. I was only high on two rookies, C.J. Spiller and Jahvid Best, and they've had their moments, but they're no Adrian Peterson.
Still, even with little production from the backs, Boyer should have enough to get rid of the Noise. Tom Brady, Hines Ward and Santana Moss should do the trick.
Jammers' Prediction: Boyer 111, Noise 71
Channel 4 News Team (5-1) at Jawz Attack (1-5)
Another tough loss for the Attack despite scoring more than 100 points and now he's 1-5.
It's not over yet though, but this is the week it has to change.
Teams have come back from 0-5 to make the playoffs, but once you get that sixth loss, it will be tough, especially with the playoff field reverting back to the 2006-08 form where six teams make the playoffs, not eight.
So he must avoid getting loss No. 6 at this point.
And it won't be easy. It never is against the News Team, one of two JFL teams to have come back from 0-5 to make the playoffs.
He is in no such situation, but he is in a bit of trouble with his top wideout, DeSean Jackson out for the time being and maybe out for the season. He's been missing Reggie Bush for weeks and for this week in particular, he'll be without Arian Foster, who is on the BYE.
It will be up to Aaron Rodgers and Miles Austin to lead this team to victory.
But, I'm going to go with the upset here.
Maurice Jones-Drew and Brandon Lloyd have great matchups, and so does Marques Colston, but that hasn't mattered to him much this year. Colston needs to turn things around and if he does, it might just save the Attack's season. Against Cleveland, it shouldn't be hard to score double-digit fantasy points.
If Colston fails to do that, it might be give-up time. Speaking of give-up time, Chad Ochocinco is on the bench without an injury. I believe the last time this happened, it was Fear and Loathing and he scored 40-some points.
Just saying.
That probably won't happen this week. But it'd be really funny.
Jammers' Prediction: Attack 125, News Team 113
Graybill's Generals (2-4) at Jimmy Jammers (4-2)
Ah, Jedi meets Apprentice.
It's the sports editor and his assistant going up against each other this week.
How good were these two sports editors?
Well, one is in the FBI and the other is at the Patriot League.
Maybe we were just too good for those jobs.
The aforementioned FBI guy, Graybill, will have fun watching his Ravens this week against the Bills. Namely because they should win by 35 points, but more so because he'll be torn if the Ravens start running the ball.
This week, it's all about the pass for him. He's got Joe Flacco in a great matchup and it should equal big points. The Jammers, conversely, will hope for the ball to make it into Ray Rice's hands often.
The biggest problem may come in the form of Willis McGahee, who has had a knack of taking TDs away from Rice.
The Jammers also is putting a lot of stock in the Atlanta Falcons this week.
With Matt Ryan and two of his wideouts, Roddy White and Michael Jenkins, there could either be a lot of double-points, or a lot of misery. There still remains the chance that there may be a Matt Cassell or Kevin Kolb sighting on Sunday because they have much better matchups. But as we learned with Houserville, it's painful to bench your starting QB.
One of the biggest matchups for the Jammers could be Larry Fitzgerald at Seattle. New starting rookie QB Max Hall has immediately found Fitzgerald, completing seven pass for 93 yards to him last week. His first career TD pass could come to him this weekend against Seattle.
By the time he gets his chance, the Jammers should have a decent lead, and by the time Graybill's final player goes — Percy Harvin at 8:30 Sunday — this matchup should be out of reach.
Jammers' Biased Prediction: Jammers 134, Graybill 99
I'm starting to wonder why I'm playing Eliminator with teams.
I should be playing it with players. I added an IR spot this year or last — I can't remember when I moved it to three exactly — but that's starting to look like it's not enough.
Last week, it was like a single-camera horror film. Everyone is dying. I fully expected the FOX camera to drop and fall to the grass, followed by a grainy shot of Tom Brady being dragged out of the picture while screaming.
I guess it's appropriate that it's October.
Last week's horrors led to the NFL reacting immediately. I agree with the NFL's wishes to end the injuries, and hopefully the suspension rules will cause players to think twice.
NOT when they're tackling. But when a player clearly drops the ball and there is no need to hit him. There are a lot of unnecessary hits and that's what needs to stop.
I also feel like offenses have to take steps to prevent their stars from being laid out.
That being said, I was on the IR this week. After several nights out for Phillies games (hopefully I will have some more), an Eagles game and 311 concert, I needed to use all my extra time to get work done. Bills must be paid, and since I do not get paid by the word for my fantasy blog, it was important to hold off on Week 6 recap.
I will touch on last week's wins in the preview. Here we go.
Dottsville Toasters (3-3) at Fear and Loathing (3-3)
It was a "Dewey Wins!" kind of moment for Fear.
He had lost 93.3-93, but then a stat correction midweek gave him two extra points and the win.
As fate would have it, his opponent, News Team, benched a player on Monday because he had the "win." So out of fairness for the game, I as the Commish had to award Nikish the points for his benched player, which gave Fear the loss again.
"I have no qualms with that," Fear texted me on Friday.
He will if he misses the playoffs by one game. But then again, he controls his own destiny right now. At 3-3, he's in a first-place tie with rival Houserville, but owns the tie-breaker right now.
The Toasters also is 3-3 and is in first, but he, too, is in a tie. And it's not with just one team. The entire Nittany North Division is 3-3.
That means the next four weeks will be crucial for the division before we get to Week 11 when the divisional matchups return.
Unfortunately for the Toasters, during this crucial time, he might find himself climbing back into the race after a loss this weekend.
Fear and Loathing got Jay Cutler back last week, but didn't get any touchdowns from the Bears QB. He should have a better day at home against the Redskins, who are much better against the run than against the pass.
Which means the Toasters will get fewer rushing yards from Matt Forte, who had just 11 yards last week. He'll be more likely to get receiving points from him, which will take away from Cutler's output. The Toasters could also do the same with Johnny Knox, who finally had a 100-yard receiving day last week.
But for the Toasters, the biggest question is Carson Palmer, who is taking the place of Matt Schaub who is on the BYE. Palmer has been spotty. He's had big numbers at times, but he also has turned the ball over 10 times, including three interceptions last week.
Against a tough Atlanta defense that is going to come out with a vengeance after last week's debacle in Philly, Palmer may be in trouble. So may be Chris Johnson, who is going up against a Philly D that shut down Michael Turner last week. Then again, the last time the Eagles faced a speed back like Johnson, it was Detroit's Jahvid Best who went wild.
Jammers' Prediction: Fear 119, Toasters 111
Chinese Organ Thieves (5-1) at T-Money (3-3)
Would you look at this wideout corps.
I guarantee you if I went to Eric Schiavo, owner of the Thieves, at the start of the 2010 season and said, "Your three WRs in Week 7 will be Jeremy Maclin, Danny Woodhead and Lance Moore," he would have responded with: "Really? Who? And oh God."
But that hasn't been the case. Maclin is emerging as a No. 1, especially with DeSean Jackson out for the foreseeable future. Lance Moore has filled in nicely for Reggie Bush, who is mending his leg — and his relationship with Kim Kardashian ("Put me on the IR coach!"). ... And there's nothing wrong with a rehab plan like that. The doctor did tell him to stay off his broken leg.
And Danny Woodhead was a Hard Knocks star that the Jets didn't hold onto. Now he's on the Pats and is making a name for himself. He's had double-digit performances in his last three games.
All three have decent to very good matchups this week and they should again help the Thieves win, moving to 6-1.
So should his trio of backs, who have been solid throughout — Adrian Peterson, LeSean McCoy and Thomas Jones.
To make things better for the Thieves, his Ravens defense i playing the Buffalo Bum-Bills.
Chalk that up for 30 points — at least.
Jammers' Prediction: Thieves 155, T-Money 120
Real Houserville (3-3) at Sunday Slackers (3-3)
It's Matt Hasselbeck times.
It happens once a year for Mike Dawson. There's that one week where he has to click the MOVE button next to Peyton Manning and send him to the bench.
It's got to be a painful click, I'm sure.
But he did it.
Fortunately, Matt Hasselbeck is going up against the Cardinals. Then again, it is Matt Hasselbeck, and it's why the slight edge in this matchup goes to the Slackers.
The Sunday Slackers have Drew Brees against Cleveland, which should be good for all sorts of points.
But the rest of the team is up in the air. Steven Jackson and Cedric Benson should have double-digit days, but they're both on the road and that could make it tough.
The key for the Slackers will be his WRs. Mike Wallace re-emerged last week with the return of Big Ben, but Hakeem Nicks went back into his shell. He came out the week prior with a huge 27-point day. Now, he went back into hiding.
Who will come out in the big divisional matchup in Dallas?
For Houserville, to move to 4-3 and keep pace with Fear and Loathing, it's going to come down to the WRs as well. Greg Jennings is a tough play against Minnesota and Brandon Marshall is up against the Steelers. That's where if Houserville can get double-digts, he'll survive the Peyton-less week.
Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 120, Slackers 119
World of Noise (1-5) at Team Boyer (3-3)
Decimated by injuries and depleted with the BYE week, Noise should have loss No. 6 coming around 4 p.m. Sunday. With only Wes Welker playing at 4 p.m., he should only be playing to get the Noise over the 60-point mark.
They would have been on the BYE anyway, but Noise lost Dallas Clark for the season and Austin Collie appears to be heading that route as well. Andre Johnson is on the BYE, leaving it up to a mixtures of maybes and a trio of Dolphins going against the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Good luck with that.)
That's why it's very easy to see why Team Boyer will break his three-game losing streak, which has been tough to endure. He was flying high at 3-0, with two divisional wins and all of a sudden, he's back with the pack.
A lot of that has to do with his backs.
Michael Turner has been a disappointment throughout with small outputs and injuries. Ryan Matthews has struggled and quelled the hype he received at the start of the season. A first-round pick in many fantasy leagues, he has been a bust.
I'm sure draft strategies will change dramatically next year.
It seemed like everyone was on the wagon to get the next best thing, and it seems like everyone thought every rookie was going to be that guy.
That hasn't happened. I was only high on two rookies, C.J. Spiller and Jahvid Best, and they've had their moments, but they're no Adrian Peterson.
Still, even with little production from the backs, Boyer should have enough to get rid of the Noise. Tom Brady, Hines Ward and Santana Moss should do the trick.
Jammers' Prediction: Boyer 111, Noise 71
Channel 4 News Team (5-1) at Jawz Attack (1-5)
Another tough loss for the Attack despite scoring more than 100 points and now he's 1-5.
It's not over yet though, but this is the week it has to change.
Teams have come back from 0-5 to make the playoffs, but once you get that sixth loss, it will be tough, especially with the playoff field reverting back to the 2006-08 form where six teams make the playoffs, not eight.
So he must avoid getting loss No. 6 at this point.
And it won't be easy. It never is against the News Team, one of two JFL teams to have come back from 0-5 to make the playoffs.
He is in no such situation, but he is in a bit of trouble with his top wideout, DeSean Jackson out for the time being and maybe out for the season. He's been missing Reggie Bush for weeks and for this week in particular, he'll be without Arian Foster, who is on the BYE.
It will be up to Aaron Rodgers and Miles Austin to lead this team to victory.
But, I'm going to go with the upset here.
Maurice Jones-Drew and Brandon Lloyd have great matchups, and so does Marques Colston, but that hasn't mattered to him much this year. Colston needs to turn things around and if he does, it might just save the Attack's season. Against Cleveland, it shouldn't be hard to score double-digit fantasy points.
If Colston fails to do that, it might be give-up time. Speaking of give-up time, Chad Ochocinco is on the bench without an injury. I believe the last time this happened, it was Fear and Loathing and he scored 40-some points.
Just saying.
That probably won't happen this week. But it'd be really funny.
Jammers' Prediction: Attack 125, News Team 113
Graybill's Generals (2-4) at Jimmy Jammers (4-2)
Ah, Jedi meets Apprentice.
It's the sports editor and his assistant going up against each other this week.
How good were these two sports editors?
Well, one is in the FBI and the other is at the Patriot League.
Maybe we were just too good for those jobs.
The aforementioned FBI guy, Graybill, will have fun watching his Ravens this week against the Bills. Namely because they should win by 35 points, but more so because he'll be torn if the Ravens start running the ball.
This week, it's all about the pass for him. He's got Joe Flacco in a great matchup and it should equal big points. The Jammers, conversely, will hope for the ball to make it into Ray Rice's hands often.
The biggest problem may come in the form of Willis McGahee, who has had a knack of taking TDs away from Rice.
The Jammers also is putting a lot of stock in the Atlanta Falcons this week.
With Matt Ryan and two of his wideouts, Roddy White and Michael Jenkins, there could either be a lot of double-points, or a lot of misery. There still remains the chance that there may be a Matt Cassell or Kevin Kolb sighting on Sunday because they have much better matchups. But as we learned with Houserville, it's painful to bench your starting QB.
One of the biggest matchups for the Jammers could be Larry Fitzgerald at Seattle. New starting rookie QB Max Hall has immediately found Fitzgerald, completing seven pass for 93 yards to him last week. His first career TD pass could come to him this weekend against Seattle.
By the time he gets his chance, the Jammers should have a decent lead, and by the time Graybill's final player goes — Percy Harvin at 8:30 Sunday — this matchup should be out of reach.
Jammers' Biased Prediction: Jammers 134, Graybill 99
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