It's our fifth Turkey Day preview.
We're four weeks away from JFL Super Bowl V and the playoff picture is becoming clearer.
It's an exciting, anxious time of the year for the owners and no one is more excited for the matchup of the week than me. ... OK, so maybe the Money Man and the Toast are a bit more excited for it...
T-Money (7-4) at Dottsville Toasters (6-5)
T-Money. Toast. It's too bad all their players aren't playing on Thanksgiving. It would certainly be ideal.
The matchup of the week does have four players taking the field Thursday, including three of the Toasters' starters who will try to work up an early lead in a must-win match.
And it's a going to be a busy day for the Toast.
First Calvin Johnson and the Lions take on the Patriots. Wide receivers have had great success against the Patriots recently — three receiving TDs given up in each of the last two weeks.
Johnson has been tearing it up all season, scoring 10 touchdowns. He should easily get double-digits and may even have a turkey-day feast worth 20-plus points.
Boy would that be a tasty first serving for the Toasters.
And he hopes it is because seconds — Dez Bryant in the second game — will not be as good, and desert will be as uneventful as pumpkin pie — kicker Nick Folk goes against Cincy in the third game of the day.
T-Money has a player going too, but its only Brandon Pettigrew and as we discussed, Megatron is the receiver to watch in the first game.
No matter what happens on Thanksgiving, this matchup will come down to the RBs.
Ahmad Bradshaw and Frank Gore were awful last week while Fred Jackson carried the weight for the Money Man. Jackson will struggle to do that this week against the Steelers, so its up to the other two.
The Toasters trio of backs are in better shape. Donald Brown had a double-digit week last week and he's going up against a defense that has allowed at least one rushing touchdown in the last six games.
Matt Forte is at home against Philly and Chris Johnson is in the perfect scenario against Houston.
The Titans can't throw now that they don't have a QB, so they're going to use Johnson a lot this weekend.
On the other side of that, Matt Schaub should also have a good day. He's been pretty good over the last two weeks for the Texans. The only thing he hasn't done is ask Gary Kubiak if he could go out and play defense. Someone has to. It's just unbelievable how bad the Texans pass defense. It was a punchline to many football jokes, but I don't know if I feel comfortable using them anymore in my football quips. .... Because honestly, it's just getting sad.
But I'm going to hold judgment on this until Sunday night.
If Rusty Smith manages to do what every other QB has done against the Texans, the joke is over.
Jammers' Prediction: Toasters 138, T-Money 122
Real Houserville (6-5) at Chinese Organ Thieves (8-3)
It's not often that a non-conference battle means as much as this one.
Both are division leaders who need a win to ensure that they remain division leaders. A setback will likely send them into the final week in a must-win situation for division titles.
How appropriate that their QBs are going up against each other in real life, too.
It's Houserville's Peyton Manning vs. the Thieves' Phillip Rivers on Sunday night.
Ville will be looking for the double points with receivers Pierre Garcon and Jacob Tamme, while the Thieves will be hoping for many of Manning's passes going to Reggie Wayne to cancel out some of Manning's production.
He also will look for double points from Vincent Jackson who makes his first appearance in 2010 (Really? Does he really need any more help?)
It's interesting that the Thieves are going with Jackson right away.
I don't buy the prediction that he's going to come out and score double-digits. I don't think Rivers needs him and I don't think that Chargers want to have him on the field. Still, this is a guy who has a lot to prove over the final weeks, because honestly, this is an audition for teams in 2011. That's if he doesn't get pulled over for a DUI before Sunday night's game.
Nevertheless, if this turns out to be a bad play, it could spoil the whole matchup. I foresee this turning into a shootout, especially when the Sunday night game rolls around.
All three Ville RBs have great matchups, and Greg Jennings is coming off of a three TD performance and will go against a team that has allowed 11 passing touchdowns in their last five games.
Jennings should get close to 20 points this week, too.
That will mean AP, LeSean McCoy and Thomas Jones will have to match the output on the other side, and all three have decent matchups, too. Only McCoy has a tough matchup in the Bears, who have allowed 120 yards rushing total in their last three games. Vick should open up lanes like he did last week, and McCoy will get double-digits again this week.
So picking a winner is tough, because it's going to be like the Bills vs. the Bengals — touchdowns everywhere.
Here is my best guess...
Jimmy Raspberry Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 151, Thieves 145
Channel 4 News Team (8-3), Graybill's Generals (4-7)
Keeping a close eye on the last matchup is the News Team.
A win and a Thieves loss, as predicted above, would put him in good shape for the division and conference crown.
A loss, and it all gets interesting.
But barring a miracle, we won't be talking about the latter.
The Falcons have given up more than two touchdown passes in each of their last five games, and they haven't keep a passing game out of the end zone since Week 2.
So with that said, this subpar defensive secondary will struggle against Aaron Rodgers and the Packers. Rodgers has thrown seven touchdowns in his last two weeks. He averages 27.4 fantasy points per week, and he will easily surpass that in what could be a shootout with the Falcons.
It's why the Falcons will not be the NFC's best team when all is said and done this season. They cannot stop the pass. Look at what great passing teams have done against the Falcons — New Orleans (365 yards, 3 TDs), Philadelphia (326 yards, 3 TDs) and Cincinnati (412 yards, 3 TDs).
Rodgers' numbers will be very similar.
And it will be plenty enough to win this matchup. Big weeks by Arian Foster, DeSean Jackson and Miles Austin will cap it off.
Jammers' Prediction: Channel 4 News Team 136, Graybill's Generals 113
Jimmy Jammers (8-3), Sunday Slackers (3-8)
This matchup was supposed to be so much more.
Instead, it's meaningless. It's for the points for the Jammers and it's for self respect for the Slackers.
The Slackers will have a good idea on whether he'll play spoiler or be spoiled Thursday night.
WIth four players going on Thanksgiving — Drew Brees, LaDainian Tomlinson, Cedric Benson and Deion Branch — he'll have a good idea what kind of week he'll have. All four are key players and a lack of points will mean that (1) he'd have to change his name to the Sunday, Sometimes Thursday, Slackers, and (2) he'd have to rely on Steven Jackson, Mike Wallace and Tony Gonzalez to make up for it. Wallace has a great matchup against the Bills and Jackson is heading up against the worst rush defense in the NFL. However, I'm not sure that the Rams will use him properly this week. Sam Bradford runs this offense, not Jackson.
Nevertheless, the matchups the Jammers has does not help the Slackers.
Ray Rice hosts Tampa Bay (24th-ranked rush defense), Peyton Hillis host Carolina (22nd-ranked rush defense) and BenJarvus Green-Ellis gets to go to Detriot (30th ranked) on Turkey Day.
The point totals from those three guys alone should be enough to propel the Jammers over the Slackers.
Jammers' Biased Turkey Prediction: Jammers 130, Slackers 105
Team Boyer (5-6) at Jawz Attack (3-8)
Basically, Boyer needs to win to have any chance at advancing to the playoffs. He needs a lot of other things to go right, too, but all he can do is focus on his matchup.
And it's not looking good.
The Jawz has been putting up the points — a little to late, but the role of spoiler is always fun.
And he'll win this because of the running back matchup. Maurice Jones-Drew and Mike Tolbert will severely outscore Michael Turner and Ryan Mathews.
Turner will be going up against a defense that has allowed just two rushing scores all season, and conversely, Mathews has scored just two all season.
So keeping it short, Big Ben will add to Jones-Drew's and Tolbert's totals to upend Team Boyer and notch a fourth win for the Attack.
Jammers' Prediction: Attack 128, Boyer 112
Fear and Loathing (5-6) at World of Noise (3-8)
After losing to Houserville last week in what may have decided the division, Fear needs a win this week in the worst way in order to get the home playoff game.
The good thing is, no matter what, Fear is in the playoffs and will have his chance against Houserville.
And if the Noise had decent running backs, he'd have to worry. The WR corps have been much better over the last couple weeks, but Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams are killing this team.
In what was a golden ticket in 2009, the Noise went to the well one too many times with this one. I'm sure next year he'll think about going with a new pair of RBs.
The key to evening the record at 6-6 for the Fear will be getting a great day out of Michael Vick and having Marcedes Lewis be Garard's primary receiver against the Giants. If he can catch all or most of the TDs that Garard may throw, Fear can cancel out a good amount of points and edge the Noise.
Jammers' Prediction: Fear 111, Noise 105
We're four weeks away from JFL Super Bowl V and the playoff picture is becoming clearer.
It's an exciting, anxious time of the year for the owners and no one is more excited for the matchup of the week than me. ... OK, so maybe the Money Man and the Toast are a bit more excited for it...
T-Money (7-4) at Dottsville Toasters (6-5)
T-Money. Toast. It's too bad all their players aren't playing on Thanksgiving. It would certainly be ideal.
The matchup of the week does have four players taking the field Thursday, including three of the Toasters' starters who will try to work up an early lead in a must-win match.
And it's a going to be a busy day for the Toast.
First Calvin Johnson and the Lions take on the Patriots. Wide receivers have had great success against the Patriots recently — three receiving TDs given up in each of the last two weeks.
Johnson has been tearing it up all season, scoring 10 touchdowns. He should easily get double-digits and may even have a turkey-day feast worth 20-plus points.
Boy would that be a tasty first serving for the Toasters.
And he hopes it is because seconds — Dez Bryant in the second game — will not be as good, and desert will be as uneventful as pumpkin pie — kicker Nick Folk goes against Cincy in the third game of the day.
T-Money has a player going too, but its only Brandon Pettigrew and as we discussed, Megatron is the receiver to watch in the first game.
No matter what happens on Thanksgiving, this matchup will come down to the RBs.
Ahmad Bradshaw and Frank Gore were awful last week while Fred Jackson carried the weight for the Money Man. Jackson will struggle to do that this week against the Steelers, so its up to the other two.
The Toasters trio of backs are in better shape. Donald Brown had a double-digit week last week and he's going up against a defense that has allowed at least one rushing touchdown in the last six games.
Matt Forte is at home against Philly and Chris Johnson is in the perfect scenario against Houston.
The Titans can't throw now that they don't have a QB, so they're going to use Johnson a lot this weekend.
On the other side of that, Matt Schaub should also have a good day. He's been pretty good over the last two weeks for the Texans. The only thing he hasn't done is ask Gary Kubiak if he could go out and play defense. Someone has to. It's just unbelievable how bad the Texans pass defense. It was a punchline to many football jokes, but I don't know if I feel comfortable using them anymore in my football quips. .... Because honestly, it's just getting sad.
But I'm going to hold judgment on this until Sunday night.
If Rusty Smith manages to do what every other QB has done against the Texans, the joke is over.
Jammers' Prediction: Toasters 138, T-Money 122
Real Houserville (6-5) at Chinese Organ Thieves (8-3)
It's not often that a non-conference battle means as much as this one.
Both are division leaders who need a win to ensure that they remain division leaders. A setback will likely send them into the final week in a must-win situation for division titles.
How appropriate that their QBs are going up against each other in real life, too.
It's Houserville's Peyton Manning vs. the Thieves' Phillip Rivers on Sunday night.
Ville will be looking for the double points with receivers Pierre Garcon and Jacob Tamme, while the Thieves will be hoping for many of Manning's passes going to Reggie Wayne to cancel out some of Manning's production.
He also will look for double points from Vincent Jackson who makes his first appearance in 2010 (Really? Does he really need any more help?)
It's interesting that the Thieves are going with Jackson right away.
I don't buy the prediction that he's going to come out and score double-digits. I don't think Rivers needs him and I don't think that Chargers want to have him on the field. Still, this is a guy who has a lot to prove over the final weeks, because honestly, this is an audition for teams in 2011. That's if he doesn't get pulled over for a DUI before Sunday night's game.
Nevertheless, if this turns out to be a bad play, it could spoil the whole matchup. I foresee this turning into a shootout, especially when the Sunday night game rolls around.
All three Ville RBs have great matchups, and Greg Jennings is coming off of a three TD performance and will go against a team that has allowed 11 passing touchdowns in their last five games.
Jennings should get close to 20 points this week, too.
That will mean AP, LeSean McCoy and Thomas Jones will have to match the output on the other side, and all three have decent matchups, too. Only McCoy has a tough matchup in the Bears, who have allowed 120 yards rushing total in their last three games. Vick should open up lanes like he did last week, and McCoy will get double-digits again this week.
So picking a winner is tough, because it's going to be like the Bills vs. the Bengals — touchdowns everywhere.
Here is my best guess...
Jimmy Raspberry Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 151, Thieves 145
Channel 4 News Team (8-3), Graybill's Generals (4-7)
Keeping a close eye on the last matchup is the News Team.
A win and a Thieves loss, as predicted above, would put him in good shape for the division and conference crown.
A loss, and it all gets interesting.
But barring a miracle, we won't be talking about the latter.
The Falcons have given up more than two touchdown passes in each of their last five games, and they haven't keep a passing game out of the end zone since Week 2.
So with that said, this subpar defensive secondary will struggle against Aaron Rodgers and the Packers. Rodgers has thrown seven touchdowns in his last two weeks. He averages 27.4 fantasy points per week, and he will easily surpass that in what could be a shootout with the Falcons.
It's why the Falcons will not be the NFC's best team when all is said and done this season. They cannot stop the pass. Look at what great passing teams have done against the Falcons — New Orleans (365 yards, 3 TDs), Philadelphia (326 yards, 3 TDs) and Cincinnati (412 yards, 3 TDs).
Rodgers' numbers will be very similar.
And it will be plenty enough to win this matchup. Big weeks by Arian Foster, DeSean Jackson and Miles Austin will cap it off.
Jammers' Prediction: Channel 4 News Team 136, Graybill's Generals 113
Jimmy Jammers (8-3), Sunday Slackers (3-8)
This matchup was supposed to be so much more.
Instead, it's meaningless. It's for the points for the Jammers and it's for self respect for the Slackers.
The Slackers will have a good idea on whether he'll play spoiler or be spoiled Thursday night.
WIth four players going on Thanksgiving — Drew Brees, LaDainian Tomlinson, Cedric Benson and Deion Branch — he'll have a good idea what kind of week he'll have. All four are key players and a lack of points will mean that (1) he'd have to change his name to the Sunday, Sometimes Thursday, Slackers, and (2) he'd have to rely on Steven Jackson, Mike Wallace and Tony Gonzalez to make up for it. Wallace has a great matchup against the Bills and Jackson is heading up against the worst rush defense in the NFL. However, I'm not sure that the Rams will use him properly this week. Sam Bradford runs this offense, not Jackson.
Nevertheless, the matchups the Jammers has does not help the Slackers.
Ray Rice hosts Tampa Bay (24th-ranked rush defense), Peyton Hillis host Carolina (22nd-ranked rush defense) and BenJarvus Green-Ellis gets to go to Detriot (30th ranked) on Turkey Day.
The point totals from those three guys alone should be enough to propel the Jammers over the Slackers.
Jammers' Biased Turkey Prediction: Jammers 130, Slackers 105
Team Boyer (5-6) at Jawz Attack (3-8)
Basically, Boyer needs to win to have any chance at advancing to the playoffs. He needs a lot of other things to go right, too, but all he can do is focus on his matchup.
And it's not looking good.
The Jawz has been putting up the points — a little to late, but the role of spoiler is always fun.
And he'll win this because of the running back matchup. Maurice Jones-Drew and Mike Tolbert will severely outscore Michael Turner and Ryan Mathews.
Turner will be going up against a defense that has allowed just two rushing scores all season, and conversely, Mathews has scored just two all season.
So keeping it short, Big Ben will add to Jones-Drew's and Tolbert's totals to upend Team Boyer and notch a fourth win for the Attack.
Jammers' Prediction: Attack 128, Boyer 112
Fear and Loathing (5-6) at World of Noise (3-8)
After losing to Houserville last week in what may have decided the division, Fear needs a win this week in the worst way in order to get the home playoff game.
The good thing is, no matter what, Fear is in the playoffs and will have his chance against Houserville.
And if the Noise had decent running backs, he'd have to worry. The WR corps have been much better over the last couple weeks, but Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams are killing this team.
In what was a golden ticket in 2009, the Noise went to the well one too many times with this one. I'm sure next year he'll think about going with a new pair of RBs.
The key to evening the record at 6-6 for the Fear will be getting a great day out of Michael Vick and having Marcedes Lewis be Garard's primary receiver against the Giants. If he can catch all or most of the TDs that Garard may throw, Fear can cancel out a good amount of points and edge the Noise.
Jammers' Prediction: Fear 111, Noise 105
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