I'm going be a crappy JFL commish this week. It's 12:42 a.m. Saturday and I'm not feeling too hot. I have to travel to West Point for business in a couple hours and I'm going to miss most of NFL Sunday.
So I previewed the top two matchups this week according to records.
Quickly, I'm going to go over the rest of the JFL.
The Noise (1-7) travels to play the Attack (2-6), which means Jawz will win because he's home.
He'll also win because he has the better lineup. WIth all three Dolphins going up against the Ravens in Baltimore, Noise has no chance at winning this.
Attack should win this, but the matchup won't be final with five players going on Monday night, three for the Noise, and Big Ben and Ocho for the Attack.
The Slackers (3-5) need to end a two-game losing streak to get back into the playoff race, but it won't be easy going up one of the JFL's best in the News Team (5-3). The Slackers have some decent matchups and will have the firepower to upend the News Team, but a lot is relying on Eli Manning staying hot and finding the Slackers' WRs, Steve Smith and Hakeem Nicks. I like the Slackers to get just that and pull of the upset and move closer to the division-leading Jammers.
It's back to Tom Brady for Team Boyer (4-4) who hosts the 4-4 Fear and Loathing. Fear is sticking with Jon Kitna, instead of going back to Michael Vick, who will be starting again this weekend. It's a questionable move and it will cost him this matchup.
Boyer will be in great shape with Michael Turner back and as long as he puts him back in his lineup, I'm picking him to move to 5-4. That's good news for Houserville, who can gain a game on Fear with a win.
Lastly, the Generals (3-5) have a matchup against T-Money (5-3) on a good week. Four players are on the BYE, including Frank Gore and Kenny Britt, which means the Generals are in good shape to pull off the road win. He'll do just that.
Jimmy Jammers (6-2) at Chinese Organ Thieves (6-2)
When the JFL's top two teams with the best record have gone up against each other this season, the matchup has not lived up to its billing. It's been a bunch of blowouts.
According the ESPN projections, the Jammers (6-2) are going to lose badly to the Organ Thieves (6-2).
Thanks to Dawson, we learned on the message boards that ESPN projections are often wrong.
But this week will be the exception. The Organ Thieves are primed to win big.
Phillip Rivers is going up against the Houston Texans who have this thing against stopping the pass. So he should be OK for 300 to 400 yards and at least two touchdowns. This will be the second time in four weeks that the Jammers will play a team that has a QB passing against the Texans. In that matchup, Eli Manning managed 31.4 fantasy points.
Conversely, the Thieves' to RBs, Adrian Peterson and LeSean McCoy are playing teams that have trouble stopping the run. Peterson enjoys rushing against the Cards and the Colts struggle against scat backs like McCoy. Just look at how much fun Maurice Jones-Drew has against the Colts.
There's potential for 70-80 points from those three guys alone.
That means that what Reggie Wayne, Jeremy Maclin, Thomas Jones and Lance Moore are just going to be an added bonus for the Thieves.
The Jammers have the chance to put up a decent amount of points — enough to beat several other teams in the JFL this weekend. He is just unfortunately going up against the Thieves.
Jammers' Biased Prediction: Organ Thieves 145, Jammers 129
Dottsville Toasters (5-3) at Real Houserville (4-4)
The Chicago Bears have been told by the suits upstairs to run the ball. Why? Well, Jay Cutler hasn't exactly been worth the draft picks that were dealt to bring him into Chicago.
So if the Bears do that, it would mean that Matt Forte should have a good week. But the Bills defense got better over the week. It's not because they added Shawn Merriman — although that helps greatly — but it's because the guy they got rid of — Cameron Maybin — to make room for Merriman, will not be on the field anymore. His presence, or lackthereof, hampered the Bills defense. It was like going against 10 players.
It will be a little tougher for Forte with 11 defenders, but he should still get double-digits.
It also will be tougher for Calvin Johnson this week. Against the Jets, it will be hard to duplicate his three-touchdown performance from a week ago.
So that means it's up to WRs Dez Bryant and Johnny Knox to pick up the slack.
And because that sentence has never been used before in the history of man, the Toasters are in trouble.
Houserville is primed to score some big points, especially double points when it comes to Peyton Manning throwing to Pierre Garcon and Jacob Tamme.
Still, the projections are high. I seriously doubt that Manning is going to throw four TDs against the Eagles and that means that Garcon and Tamme will have trouble reaching their projections.
Still, when Rashard Mendenhall adds a double-digit performance on Monday night, it will only be turning the knife in the Toasters' wound.
Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 140, Toasters 103
So I previewed the top two matchups this week according to records.
Quickly, I'm going to go over the rest of the JFL.
The Noise (1-7) travels to play the Attack (2-6), which means Jawz will win because he's home.
He'll also win because he has the better lineup. WIth all three Dolphins going up against the Ravens in Baltimore, Noise has no chance at winning this.
Attack should win this, but the matchup won't be final with five players going on Monday night, three for the Noise, and Big Ben and Ocho for the Attack.
The Slackers (3-5) need to end a two-game losing streak to get back into the playoff race, but it won't be easy going up one of the JFL's best in the News Team (5-3). The Slackers have some decent matchups and will have the firepower to upend the News Team, but a lot is relying on Eli Manning staying hot and finding the Slackers' WRs, Steve Smith and Hakeem Nicks. I like the Slackers to get just that and pull of the upset and move closer to the division-leading Jammers.
It's back to Tom Brady for Team Boyer (4-4) who hosts the 4-4 Fear and Loathing. Fear is sticking with Jon Kitna, instead of going back to Michael Vick, who will be starting again this weekend. It's a questionable move and it will cost him this matchup.
Boyer will be in great shape with Michael Turner back and as long as he puts him back in his lineup, I'm picking him to move to 5-4. That's good news for Houserville, who can gain a game on Fear with a win.
Lastly, the Generals (3-5) have a matchup against T-Money (5-3) on a good week. Four players are on the BYE, including Frank Gore and Kenny Britt, which means the Generals are in good shape to pull off the road win. He'll do just that.
Jimmy Jammers (6-2) at Chinese Organ Thieves (6-2)
When the JFL's top two teams with the best record have gone up against each other this season, the matchup has not lived up to its billing. It's been a bunch of blowouts.
According the ESPN projections, the Jammers (6-2) are going to lose badly to the Organ Thieves (6-2).
Thanks to Dawson, we learned on the message boards that ESPN projections are often wrong.
But this week will be the exception. The Organ Thieves are primed to win big.
Phillip Rivers is going up against the Houston Texans who have this thing against stopping the pass. So he should be OK for 300 to 400 yards and at least two touchdowns. This will be the second time in four weeks that the Jammers will play a team that has a QB passing against the Texans. In that matchup, Eli Manning managed 31.4 fantasy points.
Conversely, the Thieves' to RBs, Adrian Peterson and LeSean McCoy are playing teams that have trouble stopping the run. Peterson enjoys rushing against the Cards and the Colts struggle against scat backs like McCoy. Just look at how much fun Maurice Jones-Drew has against the Colts.
There's potential for 70-80 points from those three guys alone.
That means that what Reggie Wayne, Jeremy Maclin, Thomas Jones and Lance Moore are just going to be an added bonus for the Thieves.
The Jammers have the chance to put up a decent amount of points — enough to beat several other teams in the JFL this weekend. He is just unfortunately going up against the Thieves.
Jammers' Biased Prediction: Organ Thieves 145, Jammers 129
Dottsville Toasters (5-3) at Real Houserville (4-4)
The Chicago Bears have been told by the suits upstairs to run the ball. Why? Well, Jay Cutler hasn't exactly been worth the draft picks that were dealt to bring him into Chicago.
So if the Bears do that, it would mean that Matt Forte should have a good week. But the Bills defense got better over the week. It's not because they added Shawn Merriman — although that helps greatly — but it's because the guy they got rid of — Cameron Maybin — to make room for Merriman, will not be on the field anymore. His presence, or lackthereof, hampered the Bills defense. It was like going against 10 players.
It will be a little tougher for Forte with 11 defenders, but he should still get double-digits.
It also will be tougher for Calvin Johnson this week. Against the Jets, it will be hard to duplicate his three-touchdown performance from a week ago.
So that means it's up to WRs Dez Bryant and Johnny Knox to pick up the slack.
And because that sentence has never been used before in the history of man, the Toasters are in trouble.
Houserville is primed to score some big points, especially double points when it comes to Peyton Manning throwing to Pierre Garcon and Jacob Tamme.
Still, the projections are high. I seriously doubt that Manning is going to throw four TDs against the Eagles and that means that Garcon and Tamme will have trouble reaching their projections.
Still, when Rashard Mendenhall adds a double-digit performance on Monday night, it will only be turning the knife in the Toasters' wound.
Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 140, Toasters 103
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