Three games have playoff implications this week. Three others, well, they’re just for fun, or for 2011 draft position.
The Jammers plays the Attack in what will be another “BYE” week for the Jammers. Having clinched everything two weeks ago, his next meaningful matchup will be in Week 15 against either Houserville, Fear or Noise.
Two of those potential teams will be playing this week as Houserville, who has already clinched the No. 2 seed, has the chance to finally and officially eliminate the Noisy Basterds.
The Basterds need a win, plus a Fear loss, plus score 58 more points than Fear to make the playoffs.
So, in all likelihood, Week 14 will feature a Wild Card matchup between Houserville and Fear.
The Nittany Conference playoff race is going to be a more exciting one to watch this weekend.
It’s perfect that the News Team and the Thieves close the season with a matchup that is basically the division title game. The winner will get the chance to rest a week and play in the conference championship game. The loser has to play T-Money in Week 14.
This all shaped up because Houserville pulled off a huge win over the Organ Thieves last week, benefiting from a poor Phillip Rivers performance and an Adrian Peterson injury — both occurrences any other week would have allowed a lot of other teams to beat the Thieves, so the Ville got lucky with that.
But luck is 80 percent of this game. (Skill is 15 percent and listening to the Jammers is 5 percent.)
Just as the Toasters ran into bad luck last week with Chris Johnson scoring 1.1 points. Against the Texans, the table was set for him to score 30 points, which would have given him a shot to beat T-Money.
Instead, T-Money basically has a BYE week in Week 13 and the Toasters is looking at the No. 7 or 8 draft pick in the 2011 draft.
Let’s take a look at Week 13.
Channel 4 News Team (9-3) at Chinese Organ Thieves (8-4)
By virtue of winning an earlier season matchup, the Thieves will hold the 2-0 head-to-head matchup with a win over the News Team this week.
Conversely, the News Team wins and he has his second straight division title and his first 10-win season in franchise history.
Hear that? Franchise history. The history of this franchise is reshaping itself. Including playoffs, the News Team has won 27 games in the last three seasons (9 in each of the last three seasons) and he still has the chance to get to 30 wins. A win this weekend, a conference title and a JFL Super Bowl V title would do just that.
But he’s going to need some of that Houserville luck this weekend. Adrian Peterson is questionable and his effectiveness against the Buffalo Bills will be a major factor in this matchup. We all know if he’s ready to go, the Bills do not pose a threat to him at all and this could easily be a 150-yard, three-touchdown day for A.P. That would be devastating for the News Team.
That’s a 1 p.m. Sunday game, so all we can do right now is look at Thursday night. Each team has two players going and this is where you want to get the jump.
It’s the News Teams Arian Foster and DeSean Jackson vs. the Thieves LeSean McCoy and Jeremy Maclin.
The Texans defense last week had an excellent week in a shutout of the Titans, but it didn’t take much to stop Dusty Rusty Smith, who had never taken an NFL snap until two weeks ago. He likely will never take another. Michael Vick will provide a much different challenge for the Texans.
And because the Thieves has two of the weapons, compared to the News Team’s one, it would be easy to say that he’s going to outscore the News Team tonight, but if DeSean Jackson’s total is equal to or better than McCoy’s and Maclin’s combined, I’m going to say that the News Team will win this matchup and get the BYE.
Both quarterbacks have excellent matchups (Aaron Rodgers vs. San Fran, and Rivers vs. Oakland). The biggest question marks may come from the News Team in LeGarrette Blount and Miles Austin. Austin has had three double-digit weeks in a row with Jon Kitna, so he should be safe, but again, it’s Kitna. And Blount has been up and down and cannot be counted on.
With all that said, I find it hard to predict a winner, but based on the issues brought up above, I’m going this way:
Jammer’s Prediction: Thieves 131, News Team 127
World of Noise (4-7) at Real Houserville (7-5)
Mike Dawson shuts off the Lifetime Network, tucks his baby girl in, then has his wife tuck him in, shuts his eyes and then he dreams.
Not of message board quips for his favorite fantasy football commish.
Not of unicorns, wizards and T-Rexes.
But of the chance to eliminate the World of Noise.
He had that chance in the conference championships last season, but he failed and the Noise went to the Super Bowl.
It’s a tough nightmare to deal with for him. The loud-mouth Noise beating him for a spot in the Super Bowl.
Well, it’s not for the Super Bowl, but it is a small chance for redemption. A win will keep the Noise out of the playoffs and get the Ville back in for the third straight season. He is one of three franchises to make the playoffs in every season (3 seasons) he has competed — the Jammers and T-Money are the other two as they have each made the playoffs in each of their five seasons of competition.
Nothing will change his playoff status this week, but it will be a nice boost to head into the playoffs with a win. It’s also important, because if somehow the Noise were to win and sneak into the playoffs, the Ville would have to face him again — and that would be tough.
But he shouldn’t have to worry too much. Chad Henne is healthy again, so it’s the Henne-Williams-Brown trio going against Cleveland in a matchup that should easily decide this one.
If Henne can play off of what he did last week and if the RBs can also have their second good week in a row, the Noise could get 60 points from this trio and make this matchup interesting.
It will be even more interesting if Felix Jones and Eddie Royal do what they normally do and that is fail. Both had good weeks last week, but on average, they are duds, and they could be costly this week.
Still, if I’m going to play the law of averages with those two players, I have to do the same for Dawson as a whole.
Jammers’ Prediction: Houserville 121, Noise 110
The rest of the League
Fear will not have to scoreboard watch. Not because the Noise is predicted to lose, but because I’m predicting him to win. Michael Vick is about to have a monster night and that’s going to be enough to propel him past his Sentinel Rival, Graybill’s Generals.
Fear has lost two in a row and a win this week will be relieving and refreshing, and it will get him ready for the playoffs and a looming matchup against another Sentinel Rival in Houserville.
I also like Jamaal Charles to score a bunch of points in this matchup.
Jammers’ Prediction: Fear 120, Generals 101
The Toasters and Boyer are both 6-6 and they’re playing for draft picks. So with five guys injured in the Boyer lineup, it could easily be Boyer’s day, and by that, I mean, a Toasters’ win.
Chris Johnson and Matt Forte will likely have big days, because that’s just how this cruel game is. Now that the Toasters were eliminated, what’s stopping them from rubbing it in.
I just wish Sam Bradford would get the start this week over Matt Schaub. I wanted to see Sammy get the chance for the Toasters, but he kept him on the bench. … Now, will he keep him as a starting QB in 2011? … Tempting. Him and Calvin Johnson are a franchise duo if you ask me.
Jammers’ Prediction: Toasters 141, Boyer 110
The Sunday Slackers slacked all season. Drew Brees was not as impressive as he was last season. Steven Jackson was an odd keeper choice from the start and three TDs later, he hasn’t been worth it. Beanie Wells has been a bust. It’s been tough.
But he looks to be in good shape for a season-finale win, which will keep him away from the No. 1 overall pick. That may be a blessing considering how well he did drafting this season.
Jammers’ Prediction: Slackers 129, T-Money 118
And lastly, it’s bound to be a high-scoring matchup between Uncle and Nephew. It will be just for bragging rights as the season comes to a close. For the Jammers, Matt Cassel will get the start and try and help the Jammers win the points title.
Here’s the standings for the points title right now.
Thieves 1,468.7
News Team 1,468.2
Jammers 1,455.9
Toasters 1,455.3
T-Money 1,439.3
And back to my matchup.
Jammers’ Biased Prediction: Jammers 145, Attack 123
The Jammers plays the Attack in what will be another “BYE” week for the Jammers. Having clinched everything two weeks ago, his next meaningful matchup will be in Week 15 against either Houserville, Fear or Noise.
Two of those potential teams will be playing this week as Houserville, who has already clinched the No. 2 seed, has the chance to finally and officially eliminate the Noisy Basterds.
The Basterds need a win, plus a Fear loss, plus score 58 more points than Fear to make the playoffs.
So, in all likelihood, Week 14 will feature a Wild Card matchup between Houserville and Fear.
The Nittany Conference playoff race is going to be a more exciting one to watch this weekend.
It’s perfect that the News Team and the Thieves close the season with a matchup that is basically the division title game. The winner will get the chance to rest a week and play in the conference championship game. The loser has to play T-Money in Week 14.
This all shaped up because Houserville pulled off a huge win over the Organ Thieves last week, benefiting from a poor Phillip Rivers performance and an Adrian Peterson injury — both occurrences any other week would have allowed a lot of other teams to beat the Thieves, so the Ville got lucky with that.
But luck is 80 percent of this game. (Skill is 15 percent and listening to the Jammers is 5 percent.)
Just as the Toasters ran into bad luck last week with Chris Johnson scoring 1.1 points. Against the Texans, the table was set for him to score 30 points, which would have given him a shot to beat T-Money.
Instead, T-Money basically has a BYE week in Week 13 and the Toasters is looking at the No. 7 or 8 draft pick in the 2011 draft.
Let’s take a look at Week 13.
Channel 4 News Team (9-3) at Chinese Organ Thieves (8-4)
By virtue of winning an earlier season matchup, the Thieves will hold the 2-0 head-to-head matchup with a win over the News Team this week.
Conversely, the News Team wins and he has his second straight division title and his first 10-win season in franchise history.
Hear that? Franchise history. The history of this franchise is reshaping itself. Including playoffs, the News Team has won 27 games in the last three seasons (9 in each of the last three seasons) and he still has the chance to get to 30 wins. A win this weekend, a conference title and a JFL Super Bowl V title would do just that.
But he’s going to need some of that Houserville luck this weekend. Adrian Peterson is questionable and his effectiveness against the Buffalo Bills will be a major factor in this matchup. We all know if he’s ready to go, the Bills do not pose a threat to him at all and this could easily be a 150-yard, three-touchdown day for A.P. That would be devastating for the News Team.
That’s a 1 p.m. Sunday game, so all we can do right now is look at Thursday night. Each team has two players going and this is where you want to get the jump.
It’s the News Teams Arian Foster and DeSean Jackson vs. the Thieves LeSean McCoy and Jeremy Maclin.
The Texans defense last week had an excellent week in a shutout of the Titans, but it didn’t take much to stop Dusty Rusty Smith, who had never taken an NFL snap until two weeks ago. He likely will never take another. Michael Vick will provide a much different challenge for the Texans.
And because the Thieves has two of the weapons, compared to the News Team’s one, it would be easy to say that he’s going to outscore the News Team tonight, but if DeSean Jackson’s total is equal to or better than McCoy’s and Maclin’s combined, I’m going to say that the News Team will win this matchup and get the BYE.
Both quarterbacks have excellent matchups (Aaron Rodgers vs. San Fran, and Rivers vs. Oakland). The biggest question marks may come from the News Team in LeGarrette Blount and Miles Austin. Austin has had three double-digit weeks in a row with Jon Kitna, so he should be safe, but again, it’s Kitna. And Blount has been up and down and cannot be counted on.
With all that said, I find it hard to predict a winner, but based on the issues brought up above, I’m going this way:
Jammer’s Prediction: Thieves 131, News Team 127
World of Noise (4-7) at Real Houserville (7-5)
Mike Dawson shuts off the Lifetime Network, tucks his baby girl in, then has his wife tuck him in, shuts his eyes and then he dreams.
Not of message board quips for his favorite fantasy football commish.
Not of unicorns, wizards and T-Rexes.
But of the chance to eliminate the World of Noise.
He had that chance in the conference championships last season, but he failed and the Noise went to the Super Bowl.
It’s a tough nightmare to deal with for him. The loud-mouth Noise beating him for a spot in the Super Bowl.
Well, it’s not for the Super Bowl, but it is a small chance for redemption. A win will keep the Noise out of the playoffs and get the Ville back in for the third straight season. He is one of three franchises to make the playoffs in every season (3 seasons) he has competed — the Jammers and T-Money are the other two as they have each made the playoffs in each of their five seasons of competition.
Nothing will change his playoff status this week, but it will be a nice boost to head into the playoffs with a win. It’s also important, because if somehow the Noise were to win and sneak into the playoffs, the Ville would have to face him again — and that would be tough.
But he shouldn’t have to worry too much. Chad Henne is healthy again, so it’s the Henne-Williams-Brown trio going against Cleveland in a matchup that should easily decide this one.
If Henne can play off of what he did last week and if the RBs can also have their second good week in a row, the Noise could get 60 points from this trio and make this matchup interesting.
It will be even more interesting if Felix Jones and Eddie Royal do what they normally do and that is fail. Both had good weeks last week, but on average, they are duds, and they could be costly this week.
Still, if I’m going to play the law of averages with those two players, I have to do the same for Dawson as a whole.
Jammers’ Prediction: Houserville 121, Noise 110
The rest of the League
Fear will not have to scoreboard watch. Not because the Noise is predicted to lose, but because I’m predicting him to win. Michael Vick is about to have a monster night and that’s going to be enough to propel him past his Sentinel Rival, Graybill’s Generals.
Fear has lost two in a row and a win this week will be relieving and refreshing, and it will get him ready for the playoffs and a looming matchup against another Sentinel Rival in Houserville.
I also like Jamaal Charles to score a bunch of points in this matchup.
Jammers’ Prediction: Fear 120, Generals 101
The Toasters and Boyer are both 6-6 and they’re playing for draft picks. So with five guys injured in the Boyer lineup, it could easily be Boyer’s day, and by that, I mean, a Toasters’ win.
Chris Johnson and Matt Forte will likely have big days, because that’s just how this cruel game is. Now that the Toasters were eliminated, what’s stopping them from rubbing it in.
I just wish Sam Bradford would get the start this week over Matt Schaub. I wanted to see Sammy get the chance for the Toasters, but he kept him on the bench. … Now, will he keep him as a starting QB in 2011? … Tempting. Him and Calvin Johnson are a franchise duo if you ask me.
Jammers’ Prediction: Toasters 141, Boyer 110
The Sunday Slackers slacked all season. Drew Brees was not as impressive as he was last season. Steven Jackson was an odd keeper choice from the start and three TDs later, he hasn’t been worth it. Beanie Wells has been a bust. It’s been tough.
But he looks to be in good shape for a season-finale win, which will keep him away from the No. 1 overall pick. That may be a blessing considering how well he did drafting this season.
Jammers’ Prediction: Slackers 129, T-Money 118
And lastly, it’s bound to be a high-scoring matchup between Uncle and Nephew. It will be just for bragging rights as the season comes to a close. For the Jammers, Matt Cassel will get the start and try and help the Jammers win the points title.
Here’s the standings for the points title right now.
Thieves 1,468.7
News Team 1,468.2
Jammers 1,455.9
Toasters 1,455.3
T-Money 1,439.3
And back to my matchup.
Jammers’ Biased Prediction: Jammers 145, Attack 123
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