FB: Week 2 Recap: News Team, Jammers explode; Fear implodes; Boyer can be glad that he drafted Brady
Detroit and Buffalo are 2-0, Arizona still can't win on the East Coast and Michael Vick is injured.Ah, the NFL.
There's isn't anything quite like it.
Every week brings several new story lines that just make the game ever-more exciting — and for some, ever-more aggravating.
Like for Fear and Loathing, who lost his starting QB — the aforementioned Vick — and his starting RB — Jamaal Charles ran into a Lion (mascot) on the sideline and tore his ACL.
Or for the Chinese Organ Thieves, who would have tied for 10th in the JFL record books for points scored with 155.5 points if it weren't for the fact that the Channel 4 News Team scored 163.6 to push his mark to No. 11. Oh, and to make matters worse, they were playing each other.
"Can we both get wins?" asked Nikish on the Gamecast Smack Board.
I wish, dude. I wish.
And speaking of Gamecast, what the heck ESPN? Your fantasy games shut down at 3 p.m. and don't come back until after the 4 p.m. games kick off? I really hope no one had any strategy moves to make at 4.
Fortunately, it came back and saved my afternoon because you all know me and how I can't live without my live updates. It was too much work to add up the points in my head.
I only work hard during the week, like I am right now to produce the Week 2 recaps. Here they are.
Channel 4 News Team 163.6, Chinese Organ Thieves 155.5
I thought the NBA was locked out.
No defense. All scoring.
This matchup was like a Lakers-Suns game.
It was nuts.
Aaron Rodgers scored 32.3 points and Peyton Hillis had 22.5 in the early games, but Adrian Peterson countered for the Thieves with 26.5 points.
In the 4 p.m. games, the Thieves added another 27.7 from Rivers, but the News Team seemingly put the matchup away with a combined 67.1 points from Vincent Jackson and Miles Austin. The two scored touchdown seconds apart on the RedZone Channel to make me text Nikish with a "Wow."
With 163.6 points, it was over, right?
Nope. Jeremy Maclin exploded for 31.8 points Sunday night, putting the Thieves within striking distance with Hakeem Nicks going Monday night. And in the first quarter Monday, the News Team had to of watched in disbelief as Nicks scored the first TD of the game to cut the fantasy matchup to less than 10 points.
Really? Could the News Team lose with 163.6 points?
But that was it. Just three catches for 15 yards and a TD for Nicks, leaving the Thieves less than eight points behind.
It also makes him the highest scoring winless team in the League. The Thieves now face an uphill battle, down 0-2 in the division with both losses coming to divisional opponents. He's virtually three games out at this point and will have to turn things around.
Ha. Turn things around. He scores 155.5 points and he needs to turn things around. What has this League come to?
Jimmy Jammers 160.2, Jawz Attack 107.5
What can I say?
I feel like a genius right now.
And, yes, I can gloat.
Why? Because I've made a few well-documented mistakes since my last Super Bowl title (2006). That's a drought that would cause a Steinbrenner to clean house yesterday.
So, with Matt Ryan already on the books, I could afford the risk of grabbing a Matthew Stafford, and boy has it paid off.
He scored 32 points last week and another 37.6 points this week to lead the Jammers to a huge victory over the Jawz Attack.
Stafford has been one of the better quarterbacks in the NFL and a lot of it has to do with Calvin Johnson, who scored another two TDs Sunday.
The rest of the Jammers' draft paid off Sunday, too, as Ryan Mathews (20 points), Darren Sproles (14.6), Greg Jennings (13.9) and Brandon Marshall (15.1) all came through. As did keeper Larry Fitzgerald, who led non-QBs with 22.7 points, thanks to Kevin Kolb finally throwing a long pass to him.
The Lions defense, a higher than normal pick in the draft, also came through for the Jammers with 28 points.
It was a fulfilling day for the Jammers.
For Jawz, it was one of those, forget it weekends.
Roddy White had his second straight poor week and DeSean Jackson was limited to just 2.5 points. Both those positions really hurt him this week as Fred Jackson held up his end of the bargain and Josh Freeman rallied late to get his 18.6 points. (It was funny, the fantasy guru John Hanson said on NFL Radio "If you want Josh Freeman to score 19 points, he'll score you 19 points. If you want him to score you 29 points, he'll score you 19 points."
I guess that's why he's the guru, and we're not.
Kevin Kolb outscored Freeman again for the second straight week, which creates a QB controversy for the 0-2 Attack. We'll have to wait and see if Coach Weston makes the change to spur up some momentum now that the Attack have lost two divisional games.
For the Jammers, the QB situation could be a question, too, with Matt Ryan scoring 32.1 points last weekend, but at 2-0, that's a good problem to have.
Sunday Slackers 151.6, Graybill's Generals 114.7
Graybill was smacked off his high-scoring pedestal and there wasn't much he could do to stop it.
After scoring 157.1 in Week 1, the Generals returned to Earth and managed 114.7 points. And it wasn't like he made any bad roster choices. With only 3.9 points on the bench, Graybill was in trouble no matter what he did.
To make it worse, his second highest scorer from the first two weeks — Kenny Britt — hurt his quad in practice on Wednesday and is questionable for Week 3.
With all these issues, he might want to hide Week 3.
Oh, did I mention he lost to the Sunday Slackers? Must have slipped my mind. He's all jacked up after his Week 2 performance that he thinks he owns the world. He was predicted to win three games this season and he's won two already.
So, that means he has one left. He better save it for later, because 10-game losing streaks blow. He should know. He had one in 2008.
In fact, the Slackers already have as many wins as the franchise had in its first 17 games in the JFL, so of course he's excited. It's a new — well, newer than the rest of us — franchise.
It's taken a while to get off the ground, but we saw the same thing happen to the News Team. Two years of losing and now one of the most successful teams in JFL — the News Team, of course.
So be glad you're not owned by Al Davis, because your ass would be fired by now.
Instead, you're able to send your franchise QB Drew Brees out there for 30-plus points a week. That's why you were able to make the moves to put together one of the better RB tandems in the JFL — Matt Forte and Ray Rice. That's why you were able to assemble the great WR group of … well, that's still a work in progress. But hey, you're fourth-round defense scored 29 more points (30) than it did in Week 1, so that's a positive.
I'm sure he'll fire back at with me about how his bench scored 80 points thanks to great WR performances, but there's a reason why he has five WRs on his bench.
You might be asking yourself, "Why is Jimmy being so mean to Parker? Normally he's like this with Dawson."
The answer is simple. I'm writing this while watching my DVR recording of the "Roast of Charlie Sheen."
I'm in the Roasting mood, and well, Parker was the man of the hour.
Real Houserville 137.4, World of Noise 92
World of Noise pledged that he was back.
After making the Super Bowl in 2009, the 2010 season was forgettable for Noise. But he wasn't around to take care of his team, so now that he's back, he was ready to take on the world.
Well, the world is still out there for him, but his fantasy football team isn't.
He had another player go down this week with Jacoby Jones — not as big of a loss as his other three injuries to Marques Colston, Dallas Clark and Knowshon Moreno — and he's running out of luck right now.
In fact, he might be on a similar path as the Colts — gunning for the No. 1 pick to draft Andrew Luck.
Houserville doesn't need the No. 1 pick of next year's NFL Draft. He has this year's No. 1, and he's been on the bench both weeks.
Cam Newton scored 42.8 points on the bench last week and 36.8 this week. Ouch.
But do not by any means think that I'm judging Houserville. I've thought it over and even with my fantasy team in the other league I'm in where I'm a dreadful 0-2, if I had drafted Cam Newton, I can't say that I would have started him — and we start two QBs in that league! So to judge Houserville would be hypocritical.
The bench points didn't hurt him this week, but it certainly opens the door for future starts on his team. Will it be next week? I don't know. It's hard to believe that Newton will remain at this level, but it's not just big plays leading Newton to success.
He's making some great passes and moving the offense unlike anyone could have thought.
Still, we're talking about a bench guy right now. Let's talk about the guys who posted the 137.4 points that Houserville put up this week against his most hated rival, Noise.
Big Ben came through after a horrible Week 1, scoring 21.3 points, but it didn't come without a scare. Roethlisberger was hit low in the legs and looked to have suffered a Tom Brady-like injury, but a few plays later, he limped his way back into the lineup.
He also got 25.7 points from Darren McFadden, who as the No. 4 back in fantasy, is proving to be a solid keeper — much more than I thought he would be. If he can keep that up, Houserville can turn this division upside down — especially now, after the division favorite lost his star running back Jamaal Charles.
Mike Wallace also will be a part of that division title run, now posting two straight 100-yard receiving performances to start the season.
It's a scary site for Fear, but the Ville may be primed and ready to make a run here.
T-Money 110.3, Fear and Loathing 93.4
I just want to say, "T-Money, I'm sorry."
I've dogged you for keeping Tony Romo year after year, and Sunday, I have to say, I gained some respect for Captain Clutch Cluster-eff. I mean, I instantly became the biggest Donovan McNabb fan the day he broke his leg and continued to throw for 255 yards and four TDs. I didn't even have to look up those stats because I was completely blown away by the performance.
So Romo, known for choking and coming off of one of his biggest late-game gaffes in his career, goes out and throws for 345 yards and two touchdowns, and set up the game-winning overtime score with his huge pass play to a guy all of us had to look up and think about for waiver possibilities (he's a wideout, so I'm sure the Slackers will take a crack at him).
Oh, and I forgot to mention, he did most of that with a broken rib — known at the time of the comeback — and a punctured lung — not known.
He had a punctured lung and he continued to play. Move over hockey players, you've got some competition for the title of "tough guy." (In all seriousness, hockey players are still the toughest. See, NHL Playoffs.)
But Romo gained some respect. That was a hell of a performance, and without it, T-Money nor the Cowboys win.
T-Money got 31 points, many coming after the injury, and winning by 17 points, it certainly helped that he came back and added several passing yards and a TD to his fantasy line.
It also helped that Jamaal Charles tore his ACL and took out the Lions' mascot. If you ask me, he went low on the Lion and should expect a call from the commissioner and a nice fine, thanks to the Brady rule. We have to protect our mascots.
In all seriousness, this is a huge blow to Fear. Michael Vick also went down, but he'll be back. Charles won't. His big play potential was going to win Fear a couple matchups this season. This is clearly going to change his win total — maybe that's where the Slackers get that third win he's expecting to get — unless Fear gets so stellar play elsewhere.
Fortunately, Fear is in a situation where he had three 1,000 yard backs and now he'll run with Rashard Mendenhall and Cedric Benson.
But he's also going to need more consistency out of Mike Williams — negative 0.2 points this week, and something more than 4.9 points from Ochocinco. Days like that get you benched — especially with Fear. He's shown that he's not afraid to bench Ocho. When backup options are Pierre Garcon, Jerome Simpson, Jason Hill and Jabar Gaffney — all four bring up the question "Who?" for the very casual football fan — Fear may have to stick with Ocho no matter what.
That's something no one wants to hear.
Team Boyer 129.7, Dottsville Toasters 122.2
Would you expect anything less from Tom Brady? Ranked No. 1 out of fantasy QBs, Brady has 92.1 points in two weeks. Mind you, QBs are predicted to score on average, anywhere between 280 to 380 fantasy points. He's a quarter of the way toward the upper echelon after two games. Just two games!
Can you believe this guy was the 25th overall pick in the inaugural 2006 JFL Draft? Yes, three of you were not in the League when this happened, but everyone else, shame on us.
But who could blame us. The No. 1 pick was Larry Johnson. Reggie Bush was selected one spot before Brady. Boyer's first two picks were Tiki Barber and Cadillac Williams.
Hell, even Fear and Loathing drafted then-Chad Johnson at No. 18 — and he hates Chad Johnson.
If we all knew what this pick would have brought us.
Boyer at 2-0 is in great shape, and Brady isn't alone on this team. Michael Turner, LeGarrette Blount, Willis McGahee and Steven Johnson all scored more than 15 points last week.
Going forward, there are a few injury questions, but nothing that should hold Boyer back — especially now that he has two divisional wins in his pocket heading into the non-divisional slate.
If he gets another 40, 50 points from Brady, I'm thinking about delivering him the trophy that I have to get into the News Team's hands soon.
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