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Well, the people have spoken — if I count the five people who voted as "the people" — and they have selected the Dottsville Toasters at Channel 4 News Team as the game of the week.
Or, as I so nicely put it, the "It's Gotta Be Force Bowl."
If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, then you have to see the video. Maybe you guys should put that on YouTube so that Daniel Tosh can give you guys a Web redemption.
Not that you guys need it, but it'd still be funny to see another way for Mr. Tosh to get naked.
But enough about the oft-naked Tosh.
Let's talk about Week 4.
The Jammers will have the chance to move to 4-0 for the first time since 2006 when he started 5-0. In fact, a start like this is not common for the normally slow-starting Jammers, who is 5-7 over the first three weeks in the last four seasons.
So, this is a big week for the Jammers.
It's also a big week for Houserville, Graybill, Toasters, Slackers and Boyer who all will look to move to 3-1.
The Generals and Boyer square off against each other, so one is pretty much guaranteed to move to 3-1.
And lastly, it's a big week for the Chinese Organ Thieves who cannot steal a kidney or a win. One of the best franchises in JFL history, the Thieves entered 2011 with a 41-29 record. At 0-3, the Thieves are off to their worst start in franchise history. In fact, the earliest he had ever reach three losses was Week 6.
So when he matches up against the Slackers, a lot is on the line. Teams have started 0-5 and made the playoffs (twice), but the Thieves would certainly like to circle the wagons before he reaches 0-5.
Dottsville Toasters (2-1) at Channel 4 News Team (1-2)
Series History: Toasters lead 6-2.
Maybe it's the post-Super Bowl hangover. The News Team is 1-2 heading into a big conference game against the Dottsville Toasters, a team he hasn't quite figured out over their eight matchups.
The Toasters will continue to have the upper hand this time if the injury issues continue.
Arian Foster is finally upgraded to probable after being questionable week and week, missing two games and rushing for just 33 yards in another.
The Texans expect him to play this Sunday, just as the Browns expect Peyton Hillis to return from his strep throat that kept him out of last week's matchup.
Beanie Wells is still questionable, as is Vincent Jackson.
With all these issues, this is the type of matchup that Las Vegas wouldn't even put a line on.
Whereas injuries have plagued the News Team at running back, it's just been consistency on the Toasters' side. Jahvid Best has been the best of the three, and James Starks was average in Weeks 1 and 2, but Chris Johnson has been a bust.
If Chris Johnson cannot get it going this week, there is something seriously wrong with him. The Cleveland Browns are ranked 20th against the run and Johnson should be able to get going this weekend.
The key to this matchup is going to be Matt Schaub. We all know what Aaron Rodgers will likely do for the News Team against Denver, but we don't know what Schaub will do.
He's been pretty good, topping out at 35.5 points last week after 23.7 in Week 2. This week, we find out a lot about the Steelers' defense.
They were awful against the Ravens, and then a little better against the Seahawks and the Colts. Still, they faced Joe Flacco and they got rocked. They face Tavaris Jackson and Kerry Collins and they do better.
Schaub and his offense is far better than that of what the Seahawks and Colts have, and I expect a pretty good game from the Texans. ESPN is projecting just 239 yards and a TD. The history of the Steelers defense has definitely affected this. I will predict more, like 310 yards and two to three TDs.
But that won't be enough if all of the News Team's questionable or probable players play. That is why I have two predictions below.
Jammers' Prediction: Injured players play: News Team 134, Toasters 129; Injured players miss action: Toasters 129, News Team 119.
World of Noise (1-2) at Jimmy Jammers (3-0)
Series History: Jammers leads 6-1.
The World of Noise has not had much luck against the Jammers. The franchise has only scored more that 100 points in one of the seven matchups, and that still ended in a loss.
If things pan out the way ESPN projects, it will be yet another sub-100-point game for the Noise.
Noise will send out nine players playing in five games including LaDainian Tomlinson and Plaxico Burress in the night game Sunday, but by then, the Jammers should have put this matchup out of reach.
Matthew Stafford should continue his assault, as I expect the Lions to upend the Cowboys in Dallas. Stafford should have another big day and that will propel the Jammers past his poor brother whose roster looks so 2008 — or maybe, two-thousand-and-late.
You know, before Plax was in jail and when Tomlinson was a fantasy stud and when Colston was like the best seventh-round draft pick ever. You know, when Noise — then Engine 49 — actually beat the Jammers.
Not happening in 2011.
Jammers' Prediction: Jammers 144, Noise 88. "Easy like Sunday morning."
Fear and Loathing (1-2) at Jawz Attack (1-2)
Series History: Fear leads 1-0.
It took seven weeks for the Attack to get two wins in his inaugural season in the JFL.
In 2011, it will take just four.
He's upending Fear this week — easily — and moving in position to re-establish himself as a playoff contender. With his dynamic WRs and emerging RB tandem, I cannot see how he can't contend.
I like all four WRs this week for the Attack. Percy Harvin, DeSean Jackson, Roddy White and Wes Welker will all scored double-digits, and tw will be above 20 points this week.
Fred Jackson, ranked third in the JFL, and Maurice Jones-Drew, ranked 10th, both have great matchups and they should manage double-digits.
That means Josh Freeman will just have to have an average QB day — about 20 points — to complete this rout of Fear.
His three WRs had double-digit performances in Week 1, but all have since struggled and posted mid-to-low single digits since.
RBs Rashard Mendenhall and Cedric Benson have bee equally as inconsistent.
The Texans front seven is strong and I suspect that Mendenhall will have trouble running — plus, the Steelers should be battling from behind so I expect Mewelde Moore to score before Mendenhall does.
Benson's production has waned since Week 1, too, and with the Bengals playing the high scoring Bills (I can't believe that is a true statement), I expect the Bengals to be forced to turn to the pass.
And who the hell knows what Michael Vick will do? Really? I can't predict this guy. You think there is going to be a good matchup for him, and then, he breaks his hand, or just bruises, or whatever. The fact is, he's finished only one game this season. He's turned the ball over nine times and scored only four TDs. It's not a great ratio, especially for fantasy players.
So, Attack will easily win this.
Jammers' Prediction: Attack 143, Fear and Loathing 105
Chinese Organ Thieves (0-3) at Sunday Slackers (2-1)
Series History: Thieves lead 2-1.
Projections tell us that it's another unlucky week for the Thieves.
Common sense tells us, it's time for the Slackers second straight loss.
All of the Slackers' position players are predicted to scored TDs this week, and I find that hard to believe. You're telling me that a week after only one of them — tight end Jermichael Finley — scored TDs, that they're all going to breakout?
No. No way.
And besides, they're all going to have to match the day that Phillip Rivers and Adrian Peterson have.
Rivers will pick apart the Dolphins for the tune of 350-400 yards and at least three scores, while Peterson will run ALL over the Chiefs. He's been underused in the second half of all of their games when they have led by 10, 17 and 20 points and lost all three.
Trust me, when the Vikings lead the Chiefs at halftime Sunday, they will certainly use Peterson over and over again to end the game, especially since McNabb's completion percentage is much worse in the second half this season.
I also like Reggie Wayne this week with Curtis Painter playing. Painter wasn't all that bad and the thing is, he knows the offense much better than Kerry Collins. Yeah, Painter will make some mistakes, but I guarantee you that he'll find Wayne often.
More often than the Bengals will find A.J. Green, and more often than Rex Grossman will find Santana Moss.
Oh, and Finley won't score three times like he did last week. I'm actually going to say that he doesn't score this week.
Boy, Slackers must be pissed at this. I'm sure I'll read about it when I join the Gamecast Chat.
Jammers' Prediction: Chinese Organ Thieves 141, Sunday Slackers 116
Sorry, guys. I tried to get back in time for the games but it's 12:30 and by the time I expand these, kickoffs will have already happened. So, I apologize for giving you four the shaft.
Real Houserville (2-1) at T-Money (1-2)
Series History: Houserville leads 2-1.
T-Money's QB situation is a bit shaky right now, as is his RB situation. Barring big days from Steve Smith and Dwayne Bowe, I'm not sure how competitive the Money Man will be this week.
Houserville is deploying both Darren McFadden and Michael Bush this week against the Pats. It's a move I like during most weeks, but this week, it may be a tough go. New England hasn't allowed a 100 yard rusher and it should be hard to believe that the two will score enough points to justify both getting the start. Still, starting both guarantees points, and it may be just enough to beat T-Money.
Mike Wallace and Anquan Boldin each score, and McFadden posts double-digits once again to lead Houserville.
Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 123, T-Money 111
Graybill's Generals (2-1) at Team Boyer (2-1)
Series History: Boyer leads 4-2.
Boyer has a few injury issues, but it's hard to go against Tom Brady this week. After throwing four interceptions in a game, Brady is 3-1 in the following weeks with just one INT. He'll bounce back in a big way this week, and add in the points that RBs Michael Turner and LeGarrette Blount will post, and it will be a decent win for Boyer.
And it might be in comeback fashion. Blount is going on Monday night against the Colts, who have been suspect to big, strong backs — Ben Tate in Week 1 and Peyton Hillis in Week 2. Blount will roll — no pun intended — over the Colts defense.
Jammers' Prediction: Boyer 130, Generals 115
Well, the people have spoken — if I count the five people who voted as "the people" — and they have selected the Dottsville Toasters at Channel 4 News Team as the game of the week.Or, as I so nicely put it, the "It's Gotta Be Force Bowl."
If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, then you have to see the video. Maybe you guys should put that on YouTube so that Daniel Tosh can give you guys a Web redemption.
Not that you guys need it, but it'd still be funny to see another way for Mr. Tosh to get naked.
But enough about the oft-naked Tosh.
Let's talk about Week 4.
The Jammers will have the chance to move to 4-0 for the first time since 2006 when he started 5-0. In fact, a start like this is not common for the normally slow-starting Jammers, who is 5-7 over the first three weeks in the last four seasons.
So, this is a big week for the Jammers.
It's also a big week for Houserville, Graybill, Toasters, Slackers and Boyer who all will look to move to 3-1.
The Generals and Boyer square off against each other, so one is pretty much guaranteed to move to 3-1.
And lastly, it's a big week for the Chinese Organ Thieves who cannot steal a kidney or a win. One of the best franchises in JFL history, the Thieves entered 2011 with a 41-29 record. At 0-3, the Thieves are off to their worst start in franchise history. In fact, the earliest he had ever reach three losses was Week 6.
So when he matches up against the Slackers, a lot is on the line. Teams have started 0-5 and made the playoffs (twice), but the Thieves would certainly like to circle the wagons before he reaches 0-5.
Dottsville Toasters (2-1) at Channel 4 News Team (1-2)
Series History: Toasters lead 6-2.
Maybe it's the post-Super Bowl hangover. The News Team is 1-2 heading into a big conference game against the Dottsville Toasters, a team he hasn't quite figured out over their eight matchups.
The Toasters will continue to have the upper hand this time if the injury issues continue.
Arian Foster is finally upgraded to probable after being questionable week and week, missing two games and rushing for just 33 yards in another.
The Texans expect him to play this Sunday, just as the Browns expect Peyton Hillis to return from his strep throat that kept him out of last week's matchup.
Beanie Wells is still questionable, as is Vincent Jackson.
With all these issues, this is the type of matchup that Las Vegas wouldn't even put a line on.
Whereas injuries have plagued the News Team at running back, it's just been consistency on the Toasters' side. Jahvid Best has been the best of the three, and James Starks was average in Weeks 1 and 2, but Chris Johnson has been a bust.
If Chris Johnson cannot get it going this week, there is something seriously wrong with him. The Cleveland Browns are ranked 20th against the run and Johnson should be able to get going this weekend.
The key to this matchup is going to be Matt Schaub. We all know what Aaron Rodgers will likely do for the News Team against Denver, but we don't know what Schaub will do.
He's been pretty good, topping out at 35.5 points last week after 23.7 in Week 2. This week, we find out a lot about the Steelers' defense.
They were awful against the Ravens, and then a little better against the Seahawks and the Colts. Still, they faced Joe Flacco and they got rocked. They face Tavaris Jackson and Kerry Collins and they do better.
Schaub and his offense is far better than that of what the Seahawks and Colts have, and I expect a pretty good game from the Texans. ESPN is projecting just 239 yards and a TD. The history of the Steelers defense has definitely affected this. I will predict more, like 310 yards and two to three TDs.
But that won't be enough if all of the News Team's questionable or probable players play. That is why I have two predictions below.
Jammers' Prediction: Injured players play: News Team 134, Toasters 129; Injured players miss action: Toasters 129, News Team 119.
World of Noise (1-2) at Jimmy Jammers (3-0)
Series History: Jammers leads 6-1.
The World of Noise has not had much luck against the Jammers. The franchise has only scored more that 100 points in one of the seven matchups, and that still ended in a loss.
If things pan out the way ESPN projects, it will be yet another sub-100-point game for the Noise.
Noise will send out nine players playing in five games including LaDainian Tomlinson and Plaxico Burress in the night game Sunday, but by then, the Jammers should have put this matchup out of reach.
Matthew Stafford should continue his assault, as I expect the Lions to upend the Cowboys in Dallas. Stafford should have another big day and that will propel the Jammers past his poor brother whose roster looks so 2008 — or maybe, two-thousand-and-late.
You know, before Plax was in jail and when Tomlinson was a fantasy stud and when Colston was like the best seventh-round draft pick ever. You know, when Noise — then Engine 49 — actually beat the Jammers.
Not happening in 2011.
Jammers' Prediction: Jammers 144, Noise 88. "Easy like Sunday morning."
Fear and Loathing (1-2) at Jawz Attack (1-2)
Series History: Fear leads 1-0.
It took seven weeks for the Attack to get two wins in his inaugural season in the JFL.
In 2011, it will take just four.
He's upending Fear this week — easily — and moving in position to re-establish himself as a playoff contender. With his dynamic WRs and emerging RB tandem, I cannot see how he can't contend.
I like all four WRs this week for the Attack. Percy Harvin, DeSean Jackson, Roddy White and Wes Welker will all scored double-digits, and tw will be above 20 points this week.
Fred Jackson, ranked third in the JFL, and Maurice Jones-Drew, ranked 10th, both have great matchups and they should manage double-digits.
That means Josh Freeman will just have to have an average QB day — about 20 points — to complete this rout of Fear.
His three WRs had double-digit performances in Week 1, but all have since struggled and posted mid-to-low single digits since.
RBs Rashard Mendenhall and Cedric Benson have bee equally as inconsistent.
The Texans front seven is strong and I suspect that Mendenhall will have trouble running — plus, the Steelers should be battling from behind so I expect Mewelde Moore to score before Mendenhall does.
Benson's production has waned since Week 1, too, and with the Bengals playing the high scoring Bills (I can't believe that is a true statement), I expect the Bengals to be forced to turn to the pass.
And who the hell knows what Michael Vick will do? Really? I can't predict this guy. You think there is going to be a good matchup for him, and then, he breaks his hand, or just bruises, or whatever. The fact is, he's finished only one game this season. He's turned the ball over nine times and scored only four TDs. It's not a great ratio, especially for fantasy players.
So, Attack will easily win this.
Jammers' Prediction: Attack 143, Fear and Loathing 105
Chinese Organ Thieves (0-3) at Sunday Slackers (2-1)
Series History: Thieves lead 2-1.
Projections tell us that it's another unlucky week for the Thieves.
Common sense tells us, it's time for the Slackers second straight loss.
All of the Slackers' position players are predicted to scored TDs this week, and I find that hard to believe. You're telling me that a week after only one of them — tight end Jermichael Finley — scored TDs, that they're all going to breakout?
No. No way.
And besides, they're all going to have to match the day that Phillip Rivers and Adrian Peterson have.
Rivers will pick apart the Dolphins for the tune of 350-400 yards and at least three scores, while Peterson will run ALL over the Chiefs. He's been underused in the second half of all of their games when they have led by 10, 17 and 20 points and lost all three.
Trust me, when the Vikings lead the Chiefs at halftime Sunday, they will certainly use Peterson over and over again to end the game, especially since McNabb's completion percentage is much worse in the second half this season.
I also like Reggie Wayne this week with Curtis Painter playing. Painter wasn't all that bad and the thing is, he knows the offense much better than Kerry Collins. Yeah, Painter will make some mistakes, but I guarantee you that he'll find Wayne often.
More often than the Bengals will find A.J. Green, and more often than Rex Grossman will find Santana Moss.
Oh, and Finley won't score three times like he did last week. I'm actually going to say that he doesn't score this week.
Boy, Slackers must be pissed at this. I'm sure I'll read about it when I join the Gamecast Chat.
Jammers' Prediction: Chinese Organ Thieves 141, Sunday Slackers 116
Sorry, guys. I tried to get back in time for the games but it's 12:30 and by the time I expand these, kickoffs will have already happened. So, I apologize for giving you four the shaft.
Real Houserville (2-1) at T-Money (1-2)
Series History: Houserville leads 2-1.
T-Money's QB situation is a bit shaky right now, as is his RB situation. Barring big days from Steve Smith and Dwayne Bowe, I'm not sure how competitive the Money Man will be this week.
Houserville is deploying both Darren McFadden and Michael Bush this week against the Pats. It's a move I like during most weeks, but this week, it may be a tough go. New England hasn't allowed a 100 yard rusher and it should be hard to believe that the two will score enough points to justify both getting the start. Still, starting both guarantees points, and it may be just enough to beat T-Money.
Mike Wallace and Anquan Boldin each score, and McFadden posts double-digits once again to lead Houserville.
Jammers' Prediction: Houserville 123, T-Money 111
Graybill's Generals (2-1) at Team Boyer (2-1)
Series History: Boyer leads 4-2.
Boyer has a few injury issues, but it's hard to go against Tom Brady this week. After throwing four interceptions in a game, Brady is 3-1 in the following weeks with just one INT. He'll bounce back in a big way this week, and add in the points that RBs Michael Turner and LeGarrette Blount will post, and it will be a decent win for Boyer.
And it might be in comeback fashion. Blount is going on Monday night against the Colts, who have been suspect to big, strong backs — Ben Tate in Week 1 and Peyton Hillis in Week 2. Blount will roll — no pun intended — over the Colts defense.
Jammers' Prediction: Boyer 130, Generals 115
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