Well, lunch hour at work has turned into write recaps hour. And Thursday night turned into the night I finished them.Still, it was tough. I felt like a Jaguars fan, who can't watch games on Sunday due to local blackouts.
But can you believe it? Five days without power.
It's just my luck.
The same luck that Houserville had this past week.
He brings up the whole home-field advantage "issue," finds out that it affects less than 5 percent of matchups in the decimal era, and then he goes and loses by 0.8 points as a road team.
Should have just kept his mouth shut.
That or just kept Cam Newton in the starting lineup.
Dottsville Toasters 111.9, Real Houserville 111.1
Why did you bench Cam Newton? Was there a big billboard in Houserville pushing for Big Ben to get the start?
And if so, why did you listen to it?
Crazy. Now, you missed out on a chance to be tied for first place.
Still, I can't take anything away from the Toasters, who now sits in first place in his division. It wasn't just Newton who lost this matchup for Houserville.
It was Calvin Johnson going for his sixth 20-point fantasy week. What a beast. I wish I could have seen this game. I didn't even know he had a big game until now. Thanks, snowstorm.
Toasters can thank Johnson.
If it weren't for him, and the double-digit performances of Matt Schaub, Mario Manningham and Eric Decker, he would have been ruined by his RBs. Chris Johnson has turned into the biggest fantasy bust I've seen in a long time. Only 5.7 points on a team that isn't all that bad. The Titans aren't the worse team in the league, and hell, I have them ranked second in their division ahead of the awful Colts and the pitiful Jags — and Johnson still can't get going. It's too bad the Titans didn't include a clause in the contract for such a crappy performance. I think this should seal the deal for any other team that deals with a holdout. If they miss the preseason, don't sign them.
The Toasters will get James Starks off the bye next week and maybe Jahvid Best back from injury. He'll sure need it because it doesn't look like Johnson is going to help the Toasters stay in first place.
Jimmy Jammers 129, Chinese Organ Thieves 115.7
Where in the world is Philip Rivers? And who is this alien that replaced him for the 2011 season?
I saw a funny Tweet that read that Philip Rivers dressed up as Tony Romo for Halloween. His fumble on the final drive of regulation with a minute left doomed the Chargers who needed just a field goal to win.
For the Thieves, the fumble didn't matter much in the fantasy matchup, because had he held onto the ball, the Chargers would have likely kicked a game-winning field goal giving the Jammers another three points.
Nick Novak's 15 points and Ryan Mathews 10.4 points on Monday night staved off the 16.1 points from Rivers and the 18 points from the Chargers defense. The matchup was close early, but with every field goal, the Jammers pulled away.
And it's a good thing, too, because the decision to go with Eli Manning over Matthew Stafford was a poor one, as was the idea to go with Ben Tate over Reggie Bush and Ted Ginn over Antonio Brown.
About the only smart decision the Jammers made was starting the Lions defense against crappy Tebow, a move that won the matchup. Going with the Texans would have doomed the Jammers.
Graybill's Generals 130.1, T-Money 103
Don't look now, but the Generals are still in first place. Take that preseason pollsters.
And who to thank for this?
Well, we can talk to Schiavo. He's the one who traded LeSean McCoy away to a division rival. He's now ranked No. 1 in fantasy after scoring 32.4 points with a career day. He's now had double-digits in all seven games, and he's scored 20 points five times.
Add that to what Steven Jackson has been doing the past couple weeks, and the Generals are looking to be in good shape at 5-3. Jackson had one of his best days in years, going for 159 yards and two TDs and 31.9 fantasy points. Together, the RB duo went for 64.3 points.
With Joe Flacco's inconsistency and the shaky WR corps, the Generals will need McCoy and Jackson to continue to put up their great numbers.
Fear and Loathing 111.8, Boyer 91.3
Boyer had to know this was going to be a rough week. Michael Turner and LeGarrette Blount both on the shelf for the bye week.
And Marshawn Lynch and Ricky Williams did not take care business, nor did Davone Bess, Dez Bryant, Steve Johnson and Antonio Gates. All were in the single-digits.
Fear wasn't much better, but 30.5 points from Michael Vick helped secure the win and the move into sole possession of first place.
Not sure what else to say. I completely feel lost writing these recaps because I didn't see any of the games and didn't get the chance to watch highlights.
I'm already on to Week 9.
Jawz Attack 88.2, World of Noise 84.6
Now I have something to say.
The Jawz are on fire.
OK, well, I guess scoring 88.2 points isn't necessarily on fire, but two straight wins have the Attack in a position where the playoffs are finally back on their radar.
This matchup was ugly because both teams had to replace their starting QBs who were on the bye. Their answers were former Eagles' QBs: A.J. Feeley vs. Kevin Kolb, and both scored 13 fantasy points. For Feeley, it was in a big Rams win. For Kolb, it was just another ugly day. The Cards jumped out to a big lead, but it was not his doing. A punt return for a TD and an interception return for a TD were a reason why the Cards had a lead.
Not Kolb.
When will that mistake be forgotten? At least not until after the Eagles use the draft pick to pick up something nice.
An unknown player at this point, but surely expected to be a member of the World of Noise in the future. We know this because we know him all too well.
That's why we all left Jason Avant on the waiver wire, just so he could pick him up like he did last week.
He didn't start him, and that's a shame, because had he started him over Devery Henderson, he would have won.
Channel 4 News Team 107.2, Sunday Slackers 99.9
John Beck won a matchup.
Well, let me rephrase that. He was on the winning team.
And defense was the name of the game. The Bengals scored 42 fantasy points thanks to eight sacks and two touchdowns. They've now had four TDs in the last three weeks. Not a bad waiver wire pickup.
It kind of makes the Slackers look like a fool for drafting a defense so high.
… OK, so the Steelers haven't been that bad. In fact, they had six sacks Sunday and a safety. Not bad.
Still, it wasn't enough to overcome the Bengals, Arian Foster and Victor Cruz.
And this was a prime week to defeat the News Team. Aaron Rodgers was on the bye. This should have been an easy win.
But for some reason, the Saints looked like the worst team in the world after going all NCAA on the Colts the week before.
Drew Brees was nothing like the QB he was the week before and that was one reason they lost. And Alfonso Smith and Ryan Torain were non-existent. Just 15 yards between the two of them. Smith just had one carry for 1 yard. I'm not sure what kind of scouting report the Slackers read about Smith, but I'd suggest he'd not subscribe to that fantasy newsletter.
Might I suggest listening to me?
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