FB: JFL Week 1 Previews

In my mind, Week 1 officially opens on Sunday.

It’s a day that in late July I get excited over and then it seems like it takes three months to get here.

Finally, I can go to bed knowing that I’ll wake up to NFL Sunday Morning on NFL Network.

I can go to bed knowing that I’ll be able to crawl out of bed and read all the up-to-the-minute updates on injuries and eagerly await the in-actives report that comes out at about 11 a.m.

I can go to bed with dreams of an opening week win and a Sunday Slackers loss.

Now, after typing all that, I don’t want to go to bed.

I just want the games to start now.

I’m sure a lot of NFL players feel the same; however, as we head into Week 1, there are certainly some top-tier running backs that wish there were a few more days.

Arian Foster, Marshawn Lynch, Adrian Peterson and Beanie Wells all enter Sunday listed as questionable, and even if they play, they’ll certainly be limited.

Add in the fact that Ryan Mathews has been ruled out already and that Maurice Jones-Drew just hasn’t had enough practices, and we’re left with a slew of RBs whose statuses will have huge impacts in the fantasy world.

I don’t recall a season where drafting the handcuff RB came into play this much in Week 1.

This means we are certainly in for some shocking performances in Week 1. I’m sure we’ll see some bench players and free agents put up 20 points, causing someone, somewhere to curse.

But, that’s why I love this game.

Hopefully I can still say that with a smile late Monday night.

Here are the previews for the week, listed in order of awesomeness. (Dawson, it’s 12:14 a.m., so if you grammar check me, I’m going to kick you .... out of the JFL.)

First, we have the traditional Super Bowl rematch of the Jammers vs. Boyer, and it’s followed by the very interesting battle of 2011 division winners Houserville and News Team.

The rest just fall in as I decided to write about them. Enjoy.

Jimmy Jammers at Boyer’s Spacklers
Series History: Jammers leads 7-1.
Last Meeting: Super Bowl VI, Jammers 138, Spacklers 100

It’s finally here. The rematch.

Both hope to be back in the Super Bowl in December, and Sunday starts the long trek.

Well, actually, Wednesday marked the start for Boyer, who got a combined 13.9 points out of Dez Bryant and Hakeem Nicks.

Both were originally projected to score more than 17 points and they failed to reach that as a team.

But that doesn’t mean it’s over for Boyer.

He’s got some decent matchups with Tom Brady vs. the Titans and Matt Forte vs. the Colts. However, he does have an issue with a very questionable Marshawn Lynch.

Still, it might not be enough as the Jammers has a great matchup with Matthew Stafford and Titus Young against the St. Louis Rams. There’s a lot expected of the Lions this season, and I think we’ll see that right away at Ford Field as Stafford lights up St. Louis.

Young isn’t projected by ESPN to get too many points — as Parker will easily point out to you — but all I have to say is, neither was Ogletree. Stafford will be spreading the ball around and I expect a big start for Young.

I also expect Julio Jones to get off to a strong start this season.

The biggest key to the Jammers team this weekend may be at running back. Darren Sproles is etched in stone as a starter, but Ronnie Brown is holding the second seat until Ryan Mathews is ready to play. Mathews had been practicing, but it's now clear that Brown will get the start against a defense that was 27th against the run last season — and the Raiders didn’t do much to fix that problem.

So, you can see where I’m going with this.

I’m about to be biased right away in Week 1, which is something I wasn’t last season, picking myself to lose to the News Team. I was wrong and I won.

This year, I’m picking myself and hoping I’m not wrong.

Jammers’ Biased Prediction: Jammers 138, Spacklers 119


Channel 4 News Team at Real Houserville
Series History: News Team leads 4-0.
Last Meeting: News Team 167.8, Houserville 120.8

If it weren’t for the Super Bowl VI rematch, this would probably be the matchup of the week.

Having two projected division winners meeting up in the first week is quite the show, and it’d be even more interesting if the News Team wasn’t so dominant against the Ville.

That’s right. Houserville hasn’t won in four years, and last season, he lost by 47 points.

When their Week 9 matchup was mercifully over, Houserville looked worse than the victim of a Lifetime original movie, Dawson’s favorite network.

This matchup may not be any different.

The News Team already got a 14.1-point effort out of Miles Austin on Wednesday, and I foresee many more double-digit efforts on Sunday.

Aaron Rodgers, on paper, has a tough matchup against a 49ers defense that returns all 11 starters, but I’m not buying a poor performance by the Packers QB. I still expect him to lead the Packers to the win with at least two TDs, perhaps three.

The News Team also has Jordy Nelson, and if Rodgers is tossing touchdowns, I’m sure Nelson will be involved.

Jamaal Charles should certainly hit double-digits — he’s my boy — and Arian Foster against the lowly Dolphins should hit double-digits, but he’s very questionable for Sunday’s game. There are reports that Foster may play, but from what has been said, I can’t imagine him playing the whole game, which could hurt the News Team a bit — but not enough.

I also like Brandon Marshall in Week 1, so by the time Monday Night Football rolls around, the News Team’s defense, the Bengals, will merely add to Houserville’s misery.

The losing streak will not end this weekend. The News Team will make it 5-0. And Houserville will have to wait until next season to try and get his first victory against the News Team — unless, of course, these two meet up in the Super Bowl, which certainly is a possibility.

Jammers’ Prediction: News Team 134, Houserville 113


World of Noise at T-Money
Series History: T-Money leads 5-1.
Last Meeting: T-Money 122.8, World of Noise 84.8

If I were to have written this preview before Wednesday, I would have written something like this:

This is it. This is the year. The World of Noise is going to actually make some Noise.

… That was four days ago.

Now, after Tony Romo had arguably one of the best nights of his NFL career (I’ll explain) and Ahmad Bradshaw started off strong, the Noise trails 52.9-0.

Oh, it's great to see the good ol' Noise back to its normal self.

Romo, who had a horrible interception early against the Giants, looked to be just like the Noise, but he bounced back to lead the Cowboys to a huge win. He scored 35.2 fantasy points Wednesday night in a performance that was quite shocking. Romo is the type of QB who you’re just waiting to see implode, but he never did. When the Cowboys needed a first down to end the game, Romo made the perfect pass. When they needed that big touchdown late, he hit Miles Austin in the hands. Romo looked great.

The Noise will need a similar performance from Matt Ryan to make this matchup equal. The Noise will have some issues with BenJarvus Green-Ellis against a strong Ravens defense and his keeper WR Marques Colston is questionable for Sunday’s game.

I do like DeSean Jackson, but it won’t be enough to beat T-Money.

Fred Jackson, Steve Johnson and Brandon Lloyd will score enough to get the Money Man off to a 1-0 start.

Jammers’ Prediction: T-Money 128, Noise 111


Dottsville Toasters at Sunday Slackers
Series History: Tied, 2-2.
Last Meeting: Slackers 111.8, Toasters 98

This couldn’t be any more perfect.

The Toasters and the Redskins put a lot of faith in RG3, and in his debut, RG3 will have the daunting task of out-dueling Drew Brees to get his first win and make a statement to the D.C. hopefuls that he is truly the quarterback they’ve been looking for.

Well, you have to hand it to the schedule maker (me) for this one.

The Toasters’ RG3 will go up against Drew Brees and the Slackers in Week 1.

It’s perfect. It’s like when I make these schedules, I knew that somehow the Toasters were going to stand up and draft RG3 with the third overall pick.

OK, so I guess there’s no one who could have guessed that, but nevertheless, that’s how the schedule worked out.

The NFL schedule also works out in such a way that the Slackers should be trailing by a decent amount heading into Monday night, but that's only because Ray Rice, A.J. Green, Torrey Smith and Antonio Gates all get to watch football on Sunday as they await their Monday night games.

The way I see it, the Slackers will only need one of those guys to finish off the Toasters.

That guy is Ray Rice.

He’s up against the Bengals, who he absolutely destroyed last year. In two games, Rice had a combined 64 fantasy points (44 rushes, 295 yards, four TDs, seven receptions, 51 yards).

It was monstrous.

The Bengals aren’t much better, so I expect Rice to be his normal self and rack up at least 25 fantasy points on Monday night.

That should be enough if the rest of his Sunday contingent doesn’t fall completely apart.

For the Toasters to even have a chance against the Slackers, he’ll need Calvin Johnson, Eric Decker and Brent Celek to all take advantage of the good matchups they have and score a combined 50, 60 points. It’s possible that this could happen; however, I’m not sold on it.

That is why I’ll take the Slackers.

Jammers’ Prediction: Slackers 121, Toasters 108


Jawz Attack at Graybill’s Generals
Series History: Generals lead 2-0.
Last Meeting: Generals 123.7, Jawz 101.2

If Wednesday was a sign, it was a good sign for the Attack.

Last year, Eli Manning would have hooked up with Victor Cruz for 180 yards and three TDs.

This year, Cruz dropped multiple passes and the two combined for a measly 25.5 points, which the Attack can easily make up.

With 16.5 points coming from Manning, the Attack is in good shape to match that with Big Ben — he can get 20 fantasy points with his eyes closed. Denver’s defense is strong and may be strong enough to beat the Steelers, but I still think Big Ben has at least 20 fantasy points in him.

At running back, the Generals have the clear advantage with LeSean McCoy and Beanie Wells.

McCoy should be good for one of his 20-point performances — something he did seven times last year — and Wells should get to at least 10 points against a stingy Seahawks defense.

To match, Jawz will have to hope Donald Brown can break through a Bears defense that didn’t allow a 100-yard rusher at all after Week 5. In fact, the most rushing yards from Week 6 to 16 were 75.

On paper, it looks like Brown is going to struggle.

Looking at the stats from last season, you’d think that Shonn Greene has the better matchup against the Buffalo Bills, but (1) it’s Shonn Greene, and (2) the Bills beefed up on defense, including the addition of Mario Williams who will surely make an impact up front.

That means for Jawz, it’s up to the wideouts to take care of business, and I think he has the clear edge here. Wes Welker should be good for double-digits against the Titans, as should Steve Smith against the Bucs, but I think this matchup will weigh heavily on what first-round pick Larry Fitzgerald does.

Against a tough Seattle defense, can John Skelton get the ball to Fitzgerald? The good thing is that Skelton at least acknowledges the existence of Larry Fitzgerald. For Kevin Kolb, trying to get him to acknowledge that is like getting the Catholic church to explain the existance of dinosaurs. Still, whether Skelton can get the ball to him is another story.

Despite all my analysis, I’m going to say that Donald Brown breaks away for a long TD and shocks everyone with 17-20 fantasy points, while Big Ben puts up a 30-spot. Jawz wins and looks forward to a bright 2012.

Jammers’ Prediction: Jawz Attack 130, Generals 107


Chinese Organ Thieves at Fear and Loathing
Series History: Thieves lead 5-1.
Last Meeting: Thieves 81.7, Fear 56.7

I think there’s a decent chance that these two teams could combine to double the total number of points scored in last season’s awful 81.7-56.7 Organ Thieves win.

It was pathetic.

It was the kind of score that made my Uncle Jason curse the schedule maker.

I doubt we're going to see any scores in the 50s from these two.

If fact, I dare say I doubt we’ll see either one of these teams miss the 100s.

I like both QBs — Fear’s Michael Vick and Thieves’ Philip Rivers — to have huge games, while I can see the receivers/tight ends canceling each other out for the most part.

The key to me is at running back, where the Thieves have a pair of questionable guys in Trent Richardson and Adrian Peterson.

I just really hate to expect a lot out of RBs who missed the preseason due to knee surgeries. I think Peterson will certainly be limited due to health, while Richardson will be limited due to health and game situation. The Eagles should — I want to emphasize “should” — take an early lead and run away with a win in Cleveland, so I think for a while we’ll see the Browns abandon the run before completely giving up, at which point it will be smarter to bench Richardson, rather than risk further injury.

Of the three backs the Thieves will deploy, I think Steven Jackson has the best chance for a big day because the Lions defense certainly has some holes, but for Jackson to have a big day, he’s going to have to do it early. The Lions should get to 30, 35 points in this game, and if the Rams don’t play score-for-score, forget about Jackson being productive.

The Vikings defense is a questionable play, in my mind, for Fear, but still, I’m going to go with Fear in this one. Just a slight edge because I think Vick is going to have a big day, hooking up with DeSean Jackson and Celek for a few TDs.

Jammers’ Prediction: Fear 129, Thieves 125

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