Officially fed up with Thursday night football.
As you guys know, I put so much work into NFL Sundays and Mondays. I love watching the game and I invest my whole Sunday to chilling and watching games.
I make sure that I have all my housework, yard work and real work done before Sunday morning just so I can completely dedicate myself.
Now, I have to dedicate myself to Thursday.
Well, I at least feel like I should.
Thankfully, this Thursday, the game was a blowout and I was able to just shut it off midway through the third.
I know it’s all about the dollars, but the NFL is getting very close to oversaturation.
I also have issue with that many of these Thursday night games are divisional battles — 13 to be exact. It’s very tough on the road team for a Thursday night game, and to make several divisional matchups have this factor in is awful.
I’m sure there’s no going back now, because I’m sure the ratings are there — but they’re only there because of all the NFL fans like me who live for the game and will watch no matter what.
Let’s just hope it doesn’t get any worse.
That same thing can be said about the News Team, Noise and Spacklers 2012 season.
All three are 0-2 heading into big division contests against the last three 2-0 teams.
That means the other three matchups are between 1-1 teams.
Real Houserville (2-0) at World of Noise (0-2)
Series History: Houserville leads 7-2.
Last Meeting: Houserville 84.3, Noise 68.2
It’s the loudest matchup in the JFL.
Last year, it was the worst.
The Ville scored 84.3 points and won. It’s the kind of thing that makes Jawz Attack cry.
This time around, the two hope to score more than they did last year, but for the Ville, he’s not off to a good start.
Cam Newton had an awful night against the Giants, scoring just 15.6 points, and that’s about half of what the Ville was expecting to get.
And with Matt Ryan going for the Noise, he has a chance to double up the Ville at the QB position.
But, that will be evened out as soon as Robert Meachem puts up another zero.
C.J. Spiller looks to be in good shape again, playing Cleveland, and Jimmy Graham looks good against the Chiefs’ Swiss cheese defense, but those are really the only good matchups that Houserville has.
Darren McFadden (vs. Pittsburgh), Percy Harvin (49ers) and Andre Johnson (Broncos) all have tough matchups.
I also don’t particularly like Doug Martin against the Cowboys, but then again, Marshawn Lynch had a great day against Dallas, so why shouldn’t Martin go off? Right? So, I’m going to go against my gut feeling to say he’s going to struggle and I’m going to give him 80 yards and a TD. That’s 14 points and a smile on Houserville’s face.
His smile will only be bigger when he sees the Noise fall short of 100 points again. Matt Ryan will score 35 points, but the rest of the team will combine for about 60.
So, the magic number for Houserville will be 95.
It will be at that point that the Ville will have eight wins over his rival.
… But the Noise will still have that one win, you know, that one win that kept the Ville from going to the Super Bowl.
Jammers’ Prediction: Houserville 110, Noise 94.5
Dottsville Toasters (2-0) at Team Boyer (0-2)
Series History: Boyer leads series 8-6.
Last Meeting: Boyer 132.6, Toasters 106.6
In 2011, the Toasters had his season ruined by a five-game losing streak to end the season.
Team Boyer had a hand in the losing streak, handing him loss No. 4.
It was part of Boyer’s run to the division title.
The Toasters surely has that in mind this weekend as he looks to open the season with a three-game winning streak, while at the same time giving the Spacklers a three-game losing streak.
And of course, the key to him getting there is going to be RG3.
How fitting that this week, RG3 is going up against a fantasy all-star in Tom Brady. It’s the Toasters chance for his No. 1 quarterback to establish himself against a perennial top-tier fantasy quarterback.
RG3 is going up against the Bengals, who have allowed 300-yard passers in each of the first two weeks. That bodes well for “The Griff.”
He’s not the only Toaster who would have a big day.
Chris Johnson, Michael Bush, Calvin Johnson and Brent Celek all look good to me.
The Titans and Lions are going up against each other, and I think some points will be scored on both sides.
Calvin Johnson will score Sunday. I’m standing by it. He just has to. He hasn’t scored yet. By this time last season, Johnson had four touchdowns and added another two in Week 3.
Matt Stafford also was off to a hot start last season, too (this is crossing over to the Jammers-Attack preview).
I think finally we’ll see the Lions offense get going.
I also think this week we’ll see Chris Johnson get double-digits for the first time.
He’s been quite the bust through two weeks. He doesn’t even have double-digits in the first two weeks combined.
For the Titans organization and the Toasters sake, Chris Johnson better get going soon, otherwise, the organization is really going to regret the big contract and the Toasters will regret the keeper selection.
If CJ2K fails this week, the Toasters could really be happy with the Michael Bush selection. With Matt Forte out for the weekend, Bush should get plenty of carries against the Rams.
Celek also looks good and that’s because Michael Vick has finally realized that he’s a key piece to the Eagles offense. … Now if he could only realize that the other team’s defensive backs aren’t.
Those four players, added with Griffin, should be the key to a nice win for the Toasters.
Jammers’ Prediction: Toasters 138, Spacklers 120
Chinese Organ Thieves (2-0) at Channel 4 News Team (0-2)
Series History: News Team leads 8-5
Last Meeting: News Team won 148.8-130.1
The Organ Thieves started this matchup on Thursday with 25.6 points from running back Andre Brown.
It was a big point total for a running back who was plucked off the waiver wire earlier in the week.
But the Thieves cannot be complacent.
He knows all too well that unless all of his guys go for 25.6 points, he’s got a huge battle brewing.
No lead is safe. No point total is high enough.
Last season, the Thieves scored 288.1 points in two 2011 matchups (158 in Week 2 and 130.1 in Week 12) and he lost them both.
The News Team piled up a combined 314.4 points in those two weeks.
So the Thieves know that 25.6 points from running back does not ensure a win. He’s not playing the Noise.
But if there was ever a week to play the News Team, it would be this one.
The Thieves are high on the Seahawks defense (and they’ve been strong thus far) and it just works out that the Seahawks will host the Packers on Monday night football.
That’s right. We’re in for huge Monday night.
Aaron Rodgers and Jordy Nelson will be up against that Seahawk defense in this matchup, and that means it will be a true battle on Monday.
If the Thieves defense can come through, he should win this matchup.
But what if Jamaal Charles finally erupts?
I know, I know. I’m dreaming.
But if he was going to do it, it would be against the Saints defense that has been torched in back-to-back weeks to start the season.
The News Team will really need this considering his other running back, Arian Foster, has probably one of his toughest matchups all season.
The Broncos have allowed 114 rushing yards … in two weeks. So good luck to Foster this weekend.
With all that said, I’m going oblige Nick Nikish’s wishes and not pick him this week because I’m sure the Gronk will score and I like the Seahawks, or as the Toasters calls them, “Sea Chickens,” to limit Aaron Rodgers.
Nevertheless, it will come down to the last couple drives on Monday night.
Jammers’ Prediction: Thieves 128, News Team 122
Jawz Attack (1-1) at Jimmy Jammers (1-1)
Series History: Series tied at 2-2.
Last Meeting: Jawz won 140.2-122.1
The Attack has held his own against the Jammers, which is an accomplishment considering not many teams have a .500 record against the Jam.
And that’s why, when the Attack and Jammers sit down to watch NFL Sunday together in the same house, there’s not going to be any history to brag about.
It’s all going to be about what’s happening on the field Sunday.
And what’s happening is the 2012 debut of Ryan Mathews, who’s playing a Falcons defense that has given up more than 100 yards rushing each week, and three touchdowns over the two weeks.
Another thing that’s happening is Darren Sproles against the Kansas City Chiefs as he goes for a third straight week of zero rushing yards.
Here’s another thing that will be a crucial part of the day.
The two division rivals will be watching the Eagles-Cards game, and while both will be rooting for the Eagles to win, the Attack will have to hope Larry Fitzgerald gets some love. Last week, he had just one catch for 4 yards.
And let’s talk about something else that will surely be talked about at 4:25. The Attack has Big Ben going, while the Jammers has Antonio Brown. Certainly, the Jammers will look to have Brown score any TDs that Big Ben may throw.
Lastly, by the time the Attack packs up and gets in the car to drive home after the Eagles game, the Jammers will be winning with all of his players in the book.
Meanwhile, the Attack has Wes Welker on Sunday night, and on Monday, he has Jermichael Finley and the Packers defense.
For the Jammers, it will be a long two nights waiting to see if his team can hold on for the win.
… And if he’s losing after 4 p.m. … Well, get the swear jar out.
Jammers’ Biased Prediction: Jammers 121, Attack 117
Sunday Slackers (1-1) at Graybill’s Generals
Series History: Slackers lead 3-1.
Last Meeting: Slackers won 151.6-114.7
Drew Brees hasn’t disappointed the Slackers yet this season, but he has disappointed his Saints fans.
The Saints are 0-2 to start the season and many are wondering if this Saints team can survive the bounty fallout.
The defense has been awful now that they have no motivation to play other than to earn paychecks and not bounty checks.
And the offense has started games slow, only to pile on points in the fourth quarter in comeback attempts.
In fact, that’s why Brees hasn’t been bad in fantasy and ranks fourth among fantasy QBs.
You take away the garbage-time points, and he’s as valuable as Kevin Kolb. … OK, that may be a bit extreme, but it’s close.
This Sunday should be another good day for Brees, and in front of the home crowd, he better perform early and not late.
The Saints can’t afford to fall to 0-3.
And the Slackers can’t afford a low point total from Brees.
Ray Rice, Cedric Benson and Torrey Smith all have tough matchups, and I’d say Antonio Gates has a troublesome matchup, too, but he’s a risk no matter who he plays. One tackle, one poor cut and he’s out for the game. Antonio Gates? More like, Antonio Breaks. … I’m trademarking that.
The Generals lineup also has some tough matchups, and for him, it’s worse considering Eli Manning scored just 20.5 points on Thursday and Victor Cruz had 5.4.
He’s in a bit of a hole, but it’s nothing that LeSean McCoy, Alshon Jeffery and the Eagles defense can’t dig him out of.
Nevertheless, because he’s already in the hole and I think Brees will be good for about 40 points, I’m going with the Sunday Crappers… I mean, Slackers.
Jammers’ Prediction: Slackers 133, Generals 120
Fear and Loathing (1-1) at T-Money (1-1)
Series History: T-Money leads 4-3.
Last Meeting: T-Money won 110.3-93.4
The running backs are falling apart for T-Money as Fred Jackson and Ahmad Bradshaw are both out. That led to the pickup of Mike Goodson, who had 18 fantasy points last week, but it really all came on one big pass play. Even with that, Goodson is questionable for Sunday’s game, so it may be time to insert Jacquizz Rodgers into the lineup.
Fear also has running back issue in that DeAngelo Williams played on Thursday and scored just 7.7 points, and if it wasn’t for two catches for 23 yards in the final 30 seconds of the 36-7 loss, he’d have just 5.2 points.
But that doesn’t mean Fear is in trouble.
His wideouts Roddy White and Mike Wallace have great chances to score TDs on Sunday, and so does tight end Vernon Davis.
But the most points will come from Michael Vick who I think will finally have a day that isn’t filled with interceptions and fumbles.
He’s ranked fifth in fantasy football, and he could be even higher if it weren’t for the red zone turnovers.
Imagine a Sunday against the Cardinals where Eagle drives end in Eagle TDs.
It’s the kind of thing that should bring 40 points to Michael Vick.
And, if that’s the case, the Fear should be in for a good day.
Jammers’ Prediction: Fear 125, T-Money 108
As you guys know, I put so much work into NFL Sundays and Mondays. I love watching the game and I invest my whole Sunday to chilling and watching games.
I make sure that I have all my housework, yard work and real work done before Sunday morning just so I can completely dedicate myself.
Now, I have to dedicate myself to Thursday.
Well, I at least feel like I should.
Thankfully, this Thursday, the game was a blowout and I was able to just shut it off midway through the third.
I know it’s all about the dollars, but the NFL is getting very close to oversaturation.
I also have issue with that many of these Thursday night games are divisional battles — 13 to be exact. It’s very tough on the road team for a Thursday night game, and to make several divisional matchups have this factor in is awful.
I’m sure there’s no going back now, because I’m sure the ratings are there — but they’re only there because of all the NFL fans like me who live for the game and will watch no matter what.
Let’s just hope it doesn’t get any worse.
That same thing can be said about the News Team, Noise and Spacklers 2012 season.
All three are 0-2 heading into big division contests against the last three 2-0 teams.
That means the other three matchups are between 1-1 teams.
Real Houserville (2-0) at World of Noise (0-2)
Series History: Houserville leads 7-2.
Last Meeting: Houserville 84.3, Noise 68.2
It’s the loudest matchup in the JFL.
Last year, it was the worst.
The Ville scored 84.3 points and won. It’s the kind of thing that makes Jawz Attack cry.
This time around, the two hope to score more than they did last year, but for the Ville, he’s not off to a good start.
Cam Newton had an awful night against the Giants, scoring just 15.6 points, and that’s about half of what the Ville was expecting to get.
And with Matt Ryan going for the Noise, he has a chance to double up the Ville at the QB position.
But, that will be evened out as soon as Robert Meachem puts up another zero.
C.J. Spiller looks to be in good shape again, playing Cleveland, and Jimmy Graham looks good against the Chiefs’ Swiss cheese defense, but those are really the only good matchups that Houserville has.
Darren McFadden (vs. Pittsburgh), Percy Harvin (49ers) and Andre Johnson (Broncos) all have tough matchups.
I also don’t particularly like Doug Martin against the Cowboys, but then again, Marshawn Lynch had a great day against Dallas, so why shouldn’t Martin go off? Right? So, I’m going to go against my gut feeling to say he’s going to struggle and I’m going to give him 80 yards and a TD. That’s 14 points and a smile on Houserville’s face.
His smile will only be bigger when he sees the Noise fall short of 100 points again. Matt Ryan will score 35 points, but the rest of the team will combine for about 60.
So, the magic number for Houserville will be 95.
It will be at that point that the Ville will have eight wins over his rival.
… But the Noise will still have that one win, you know, that one win that kept the Ville from going to the Super Bowl.
Jammers’ Prediction: Houserville 110, Noise 94.5
Dottsville Toasters (2-0) at Team Boyer (0-2)
Series History: Boyer leads series 8-6.
Last Meeting: Boyer 132.6, Toasters 106.6
In 2011, the Toasters had his season ruined by a five-game losing streak to end the season.
Team Boyer had a hand in the losing streak, handing him loss No. 4.
It was part of Boyer’s run to the division title.
The Toasters surely has that in mind this weekend as he looks to open the season with a three-game winning streak, while at the same time giving the Spacklers a three-game losing streak.
And of course, the key to him getting there is going to be RG3.
How fitting that this week, RG3 is going up against a fantasy all-star in Tom Brady. It’s the Toasters chance for his No. 1 quarterback to establish himself against a perennial top-tier fantasy quarterback.
RG3 is going up against the Bengals, who have allowed 300-yard passers in each of the first two weeks. That bodes well for “The Griff.”
He’s not the only Toaster who would have a big day.
Chris Johnson, Michael Bush, Calvin Johnson and Brent Celek all look good to me.
The Titans and Lions are going up against each other, and I think some points will be scored on both sides.
Calvin Johnson will score Sunday. I’m standing by it. He just has to. He hasn’t scored yet. By this time last season, Johnson had four touchdowns and added another two in Week 3.
Matt Stafford also was off to a hot start last season, too (this is crossing over to the Jammers-Attack preview).
I think finally we’ll see the Lions offense get going.
I also think this week we’ll see Chris Johnson get double-digits for the first time.
He’s been quite the bust through two weeks. He doesn’t even have double-digits in the first two weeks combined.
For the Titans organization and the Toasters sake, Chris Johnson better get going soon, otherwise, the organization is really going to regret the big contract and the Toasters will regret the keeper selection.
If CJ2K fails this week, the Toasters could really be happy with the Michael Bush selection. With Matt Forte out for the weekend, Bush should get plenty of carries against the Rams.
Celek also looks good and that’s because Michael Vick has finally realized that he’s a key piece to the Eagles offense. … Now if he could only realize that the other team’s defensive backs aren’t.
Those four players, added with Griffin, should be the key to a nice win for the Toasters.
Jammers’ Prediction: Toasters 138, Spacklers 120
Chinese Organ Thieves (2-0) at Channel 4 News Team (0-2)
Series History: News Team leads 8-5
Last Meeting: News Team won 148.8-130.1
The Organ Thieves started this matchup on Thursday with 25.6 points from running back Andre Brown.
It was a big point total for a running back who was plucked off the waiver wire earlier in the week.
But the Thieves cannot be complacent.
He knows all too well that unless all of his guys go for 25.6 points, he’s got a huge battle brewing.
No lead is safe. No point total is high enough.
Last season, the Thieves scored 288.1 points in two 2011 matchups (158 in Week 2 and 130.1 in Week 12) and he lost them both.
The News Team piled up a combined 314.4 points in those two weeks.
So the Thieves know that 25.6 points from running back does not ensure a win. He’s not playing the Noise.
But if there was ever a week to play the News Team, it would be this one.
The Thieves are high on the Seahawks defense (and they’ve been strong thus far) and it just works out that the Seahawks will host the Packers on Monday night football.
That’s right. We’re in for huge Monday night.
Aaron Rodgers and Jordy Nelson will be up against that Seahawk defense in this matchup, and that means it will be a true battle on Monday.
If the Thieves defense can come through, he should win this matchup.
But what if Jamaal Charles finally erupts?
I know, I know. I’m dreaming.
But if he was going to do it, it would be against the Saints defense that has been torched in back-to-back weeks to start the season.
The News Team will really need this considering his other running back, Arian Foster, has probably one of his toughest matchups all season.
The Broncos have allowed 114 rushing yards … in two weeks. So good luck to Foster this weekend.
With all that said, I’m going oblige Nick Nikish’s wishes and not pick him this week because I’m sure the Gronk will score and I like the Seahawks, or as the Toasters calls them, “Sea Chickens,” to limit Aaron Rodgers.
Nevertheless, it will come down to the last couple drives on Monday night.
Jammers’ Prediction: Thieves 128, News Team 122
Jawz Attack (1-1) at Jimmy Jammers (1-1)
Series History: Series tied at 2-2.
Last Meeting: Jawz won 140.2-122.1
The Attack has held his own against the Jammers, which is an accomplishment considering not many teams have a .500 record against the Jam.
And that’s why, when the Attack and Jammers sit down to watch NFL Sunday together in the same house, there’s not going to be any history to brag about.
It’s all going to be about what’s happening on the field Sunday.
And what’s happening is the 2012 debut of Ryan Mathews, who’s playing a Falcons defense that has given up more than 100 yards rushing each week, and three touchdowns over the two weeks.
Another thing that’s happening is Darren Sproles against the Kansas City Chiefs as he goes for a third straight week of zero rushing yards.
Here’s another thing that will be a crucial part of the day.
The two division rivals will be watching the Eagles-Cards game, and while both will be rooting for the Eagles to win, the Attack will have to hope Larry Fitzgerald gets some love. Last week, he had just one catch for 4 yards.
And let’s talk about something else that will surely be talked about at 4:25. The Attack has Big Ben going, while the Jammers has Antonio Brown. Certainly, the Jammers will look to have Brown score any TDs that Big Ben may throw.
Lastly, by the time the Attack packs up and gets in the car to drive home after the Eagles game, the Jammers will be winning with all of his players in the book.
Meanwhile, the Attack has Wes Welker on Sunday night, and on Monday, he has Jermichael Finley and the Packers defense.
For the Jammers, it will be a long two nights waiting to see if his team can hold on for the win.
… And if he’s losing after 4 p.m. … Well, get the swear jar out.
Jammers’ Biased Prediction: Jammers 121, Attack 117
Sunday Slackers (1-1) at Graybill’s Generals
Series History: Slackers lead 3-1.
Last Meeting: Slackers won 151.6-114.7
Drew Brees hasn’t disappointed the Slackers yet this season, but he has disappointed his Saints fans.
The Saints are 0-2 to start the season and many are wondering if this Saints team can survive the bounty fallout.
The defense has been awful now that they have no motivation to play other than to earn paychecks and not bounty checks.
And the offense has started games slow, only to pile on points in the fourth quarter in comeback attempts.
In fact, that’s why Brees hasn’t been bad in fantasy and ranks fourth among fantasy QBs.
You take away the garbage-time points, and he’s as valuable as Kevin Kolb. … OK, that may be a bit extreme, but it’s close.
This Sunday should be another good day for Brees, and in front of the home crowd, he better perform early and not late.
The Saints can’t afford to fall to 0-3.
And the Slackers can’t afford a low point total from Brees.
Ray Rice, Cedric Benson and Torrey Smith all have tough matchups, and I’d say Antonio Gates has a troublesome matchup, too, but he’s a risk no matter who he plays. One tackle, one poor cut and he’s out for the game. Antonio Gates? More like, Antonio Breaks. … I’m trademarking that.
The Generals lineup also has some tough matchups, and for him, it’s worse considering Eli Manning scored just 20.5 points on Thursday and Victor Cruz had 5.4.
He’s in a bit of a hole, but it’s nothing that LeSean McCoy, Alshon Jeffery and the Eagles defense can’t dig him out of.
Nevertheless, because he’s already in the hole and I think Brees will be good for about 40 points, I’m going with the Sunday Crappers… I mean, Slackers.
Jammers’ Prediction: Slackers 133, Generals 120
Fear and Loathing (1-1) at T-Money (1-1)
Series History: T-Money leads 4-3.
Last Meeting: T-Money won 110.3-93.4
The running backs are falling apart for T-Money as Fred Jackson and Ahmad Bradshaw are both out. That led to the pickup of Mike Goodson, who had 18 fantasy points last week, but it really all came on one big pass play. Even with that, Goodson is questionable for Sunday’s game, so it may be time to insert Jacquizz Rodgers into the lineup.
Fear also has running back issue in that DeAngelo Williams played on Thursday and scored just 7.7 points, and if it wasn’t for two catches for 23 yards in the final 30 seconds of the 36-7 loss, he’d have just 5.2 points.
But that doesn’t mean Fear is in trouble.
His wideouts Roddy White and Mike Wallace have great chances to score TDs on Sunday, and so does tight end Vernon Davis.
But the most points will come from Michael Vick who I think will finally have a day that isn’t filled with interceptions and fumbles.
He’s ranked fifth in fantasy football, and he could be even higher if it weren’t for the red zone turnovers.
Imagine a Sunday against the Cardinals where Eagle drives end in Eagle TDs.
It’s the kind of thing that should bring 40 points to Michael Vick.
And, if that’s the case, the Fear should be in for a good day.
Jammers’ Prediction: Fear 125, T-Money 108
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