There’s only one matchup this week that features winning teams and it’s Channel 4 News Team hosting Fear and Loathing.
Fear is in a negative-1.5-point hole after Thursday, so he’s going to need a little Luck to get him a win.
A few other teams are at the point where they wish they had Luck on there side.
The bye heavy bye weeks have really hit some teams hard and those teams are sitting in a 2-5 hole right now.
This is the week where those 2-5 teams have to turn things around. If a bunch of the 5-2 teams move to 6-2 and in turn, those 2-5 teams fall to 2-6, we will be in a situation where some teams could clinch playoff spots next week.
That’s right. In week 9, we may have multiple playoff spots clinched.
This would be unprecedented if more than one team clinches in Week 8.
In fact, if the Toasters, News Team and Organ Thieves all win and the Generals, Boyer and T-Money all lose, we have a scenario where the NFC would virtually be locked up with the latter teams needing to win out to get in.
It’s a dynamic we’ve never seen. A full conference with six teams evenly split.
The AFC is a bit closer, but the three front-runners also sit at 5-2, making it win or go home time for some of the bottom-feeders — like that Jammers team that can’t buy a win or that Noise team that can’t buy a respectable point total.
Good luck to all — especially all the 2-5 teams out there. Let’s make this season more competitive. Follow me into battle!
"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My 2-and-5 brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of 2-and-5 teams fails, when we forsake our top draft picks and break all bonds of fellowship with our starting quarterbacks, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered sleeper picks when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the Worst!"
Fear and Loathing (5-2) at Channel 4 News Team (5-2)
I’m surprised Kyle Rudolph didn’t score 20 points on Thursday.
He was a part of a Jammers’ trade, so that means he should break out big time.
That wasn’t the case as he scored 2.1 points, which was still 3.7 points better than the Vikings’ defense point total that Fear got. When you’re better of just not starting a defense, you have a real crappy feeling.
Fear is feeling that.
It will only get worse, and it will be because of another player the Jammers traded.
Aaron Rodgers has the Jags at home, which should be 40 fantasy points, easy.
Arian Foster is out, so the Fear dodges a bullet there, but the bad news is, Jamaal Charles is back off the bye and he’s playing the Oakland Raiders, who if you recall have given up some big running back numbers. The Raiders also have had some good defensive weeks, but they struggle with the versatile backs like Charles. Expect close to 150 yards and a score or two from Charles.
Jordy Nelson is questionable, but he should play and if he does, that’s another 15 points — at least — and Brandon Marshall continues to do what I figured he would this season. He’ll have another big week against the Panthers.
Fear has benched Vick (and oddly, he’s benched Roddy White) so it’s Andrew Luck for Week 8, which is a good choice considering the Colts are playing the Titans who gave up a bunch of fantasy points last week.
Luck should reap the benefits of the awful Titans defense.
White should get into the lineup if the Fear checks it before 1 p.m. If not, then, perhaps it’s the News Team who “Lucks” out.
Jammers’ Prediction: News Team 140, Fear 119
Real Houserville (4-3) at Graybill’s Generals (2-5)
Has it really come to this?
Has the Ville really given up on Cam Newton?
Today, in Week 8 of the 2012 NFL season, Brandon Weeden will make his JFL debut for the Ville.
And he won’t have to do much, he’ll just have to be like Trent Dilfer — play not to lose, and that’s because the Ville got 54.3 points on Thursday thanks to a breakout 36 points by Doug Martin and another 18.3 from Percy Harvin.
Houserville could be in a situation where he’s losing after the 4 p.m. games, but with Demaryius Thomas and Jimmy Graham going on Sunday night, he’ll get enough points to pull past the Generals for the win.
That’s assuming that the Generals can get big days out of his trifecta, Eli Manning, LeSean McCoy and Victor Cruz.
If those guys do not come through, then it’s off to 2-6 for the Generals.
In my mind, even if they do come through, it’s going to be tough. Martin’s 36 points is just too much to overcome.
Jammers’ Prediction: Houserville 139, Generals 109
Jawz Attack (3-4) at Dottsville Toasters (5-2)
The Jaw Attack cares about the environment.
His team is going green.
Shon Greene, Alex Green and the Green Bay Packers are all going for the Jawz Attack. He’d love to get in a time machine and go back to a time where he could put Trent Green in at quarterback.
Well, maybe not.
I’m sure if he had that time machine he wouldn’t use it to do that, and he sure as hell wouldn’t use it to go to the future to help Dodge build it’s new car. (That damn commercial just came on right as I was writing this.)
Instead, I could see him going back to Thursday to reset his lineup, because the 32.9 points Josh Freeman scored look really tasty on the bench right now. Freeman broke his “19-point” rule and now the Attack has to hope that Big Ben gets at least 30 points to make it worth it.
Big Ben is going up against the Redskins, who are ranked 29th against the pass, so it’s possible that he gets into the 30s, but the Attack’s opponent has the QB on the other side of this matchup.
RG3 is averaging 29.4 points a week, and even though he has to go up against a defense that is ranked 10th against the pass, I don’t look at that stat when it comes to a dynamic threat like Griffin. His rushing yards could easily push him over 30 if the Steelers hold him to a 15- to 20-point day passing.
The Toasters also have the edge at running back, especially if Chris Johnson is truly back.
Today is a big test for him. He’s got the Colts, and with that, he’s got the chance to establish himself as a true fantasy threat in 2012. He’s had double-digits in three of the last four weeks, and that’s the kind thing that makes the Toasters happy.
Stevan Ridley had similar success early, but after back-to-back single-digit weeks, the Toasters has to wonder if Bill Belichick has just moved on. The Rams have given up more than 100 yards rushing in just one game this season, so this could be tough, but considering the fact that the game is in London, I find that we can just throw out the usual stats. Anything can happen over there.
The Attack has Wes Welker in that game, and he should get his usual targets and impress all the Brits.
But I don’t think it will be enough to take out the Toasters, who will ride another great pair of RG3 and CJ2K performances.
Jammers’ Prediction: Toasters 126, Attack 116
Sunday Slackers (5-2) at Team Boyer (2-5)
The Slackers head to Team Boyer, and with Ray Rice, A.J. Green and Torrey Smith on the bye, Team Boyer has to be licking their chops.
First of all, timeout. Let’s call this matchup what it really is. Slackers v. Spacklers.
The Battle of the Acklers!
And the Slackers already made up for one of his WRs with Mike Williams’ 14 points on Thursday.
Even with Rice and Green out, the Slackers still have Drew Brees, Reggie Bush and Randall Cobb. That should be good enough to get past Boyer who has benched Tom Brady.
Wait, what?
Brady is benched?
What is going on in the Spackler organization? Why has Brady got the boot? To expand, why did he get the boot for Carson Palmer, who hasn’t been much of fantasy starter this year. He was drafted to take over for Tom Brady’s Week 9 bye, but somehow, he’s getting the start in Week 8.
This mistake could cost the Spacklers.
But let’s simmer down on the critiquing of the Spacklers organization. They’re fresh off a win with their new assistant GM and perhaps this move is the first of many bold moves by the new man in the front office. The little guy has onions, I’ll give him that.
That said, I’m not buying in yet.
Jammers’ Prediction: Slackers 127, Spacklers 110
OK, it’s 11:45 and I’m running out of time here. The Facebookers are getting antsy. I had a long day Saturday and I need to nap here before the Eagles game.
So, for my matchup and my brother’s matchup, we get this.
The Chinese Organ Thieves should take care of business against the Noise, but the wideout matchups for the Thieves could give the Noise a glimmer of hope to win this. If Robert Meachem or Marques Colston both have big days, look out for an upset.
In my matchup, it’s not worth the paragraph it’s getting. T-Money and I both have 2-5 records and we’re both in need of a win. Both are rolling with struggling QBs, both have decent running backs and the Jammers has the edge in wideouts but it’s not by much because Reggie Wayne could be in line for a big day.
Fear is in a negative-1.5-point hole after Thursday, so he’s going to need a little Luck to get him a win.
A few other teams are at the point where they wish they had Luck on there side.
The bye heavy bye weeks have really hit some teams hard and those teams are sitting in a 2-5 hole right now.
This is the week where those 2-5 teams have to turn things around. If a bunch of the 5-2 teams move to 6-2 and in turn, those 2-5 teams fall to 2-6, we will be in a situation where some teams could clinch playoff spots next week.
That’s right. In week 9, we may have multiple playoff spots clinched.
This would be unprecedented if more than one team clinches in Week 8.
In fact, if the Toasters, News Team and Organ Thieves all win and the Generals, Boyer and T-Money all lose, we have a scenario where the NFC would virtually be locked up with the latter teams needing to win out to get in.
It’s a dynamic we’ve never seen. A full conference with six teams evenly split.
The AFC is a bit closer, but the three front-runners also sit at 5-2, making it win or go home time for some of the bottom-feeders — like that Jammers team that can’t buy a win or that Noise team that can’t buy a respectable point total.
"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My 2-and-5 brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of 2-and-5 teams fails, when we forsake our top draft picks and break all bonds of fellowship with our starting quarterbacks, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered sleeper picks when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the Worst!"
Fear and Loathing (5-2) at Channel 4 News Team (5-2)
I’m surprised Kyle Rudolph didn’t score 20 points on Thursday.
He was a part of a Jammers’ trade, so that means he should break out big time.
That wasn’t the case as he scored 2.1 points, which was still 3.7 points better than the Vikings’ defense point total that Fear got. When you’re better of just not starting a defense, you have a real crappy feeling.
Fear is feeling that.
It will only get worse, and it will be because of another player the Jammers traded.
Aaron Rodgers has the Jags at home, which should be 40 fantasy points, easy.
Arian Foster is out, so the Fear dodges a bullet there, but the bad news is, Jamaal Charles is back off the bye and he’s playing the Oakland Raiders, who if you recall have given up some big running back numbers. The Raiders also have had some good defensive weeks, but they struggle with the versatile backs like Charles. Expect close to 150 yards and a score or two from Charles.
Jordy Nelson is questionable, but he should play and if he does, that’s another 15 points — at least — and Brandon Marshall continues to do what I figured he would this season. He’ll have another big week against the Panthers.
Fear has benched Vick (and oddly, he’s benched Roddy White) so it’s Andrew Luck for Week 8, which is a good choice considering the Colts are playing the Titans who gave up a bunch of fantasy points last week.
Luck should reap the benefits of the awful Titans defense.
White should get into the lineup if the Fear checks it before 1 p.m. If not, then, perhaps it’s the News Team who “Lucks” out.
Jammers’ Prediction: News Team 140, Fear 119
Real Houserville (4-3) at Graybill’s Generals (2-5)
Has it really come to this?
Has the Ville really given up on Cam Newton?
Today, in Week 8 of the 2012 NFL season, Brandon Weeden will make his JFL debut for the Ville.
And he won’t have to do much, he’ll just have to be like Trent Dilfer — play not to lose, and that’s because the Ville got 54.3 points on Thursday thanks to a breakout 36 points by Doug Martin and another 18.3 from Percy Harvin.
Houserville could be in a situation where he’s losing after the 4 p.m. games, but with Demaryius Thomas and Jimmy Graham going on Sunday night, he’ll get enough points to pull past the Generals for the win.
That’s assuming that the Generals can get big days out of his trifecta, Eli Manning, LeSean McCoy and Victor Cruz.
If those guys do not come through, then it’s off to 2-6 for the Generals.
In my mind, even if they do come through, it’s going to be tough. Martin’s 36 points is just too much to overcome.
Jammers’ Prediction: Houserville 139, Generals 109
Jawz Attack (3-4) at Dottsville Toasters (5-2)
The Jaw Attack cares about the environment.
His team is going green.
Shon Greene, Alex Green and the Green Bay Packers are all going for the Jawz Attack. He’d love to get in a time machine and go back to a time where he could put Trent Green in at quarterback.
Well, maybe not.
I’m sure if he had that time machine he wouldn’t use it to do that, and he sure as hell wouldn’t use it to go to the future to help Dodge build it’s new car. (That damn commercial just came on right as I was writing this.)
Instead, I could see him going back to Thursday to reset his lineup, because the 32.9 points Josh Freeman scored look really tasty on the bench right now. Freeman broke his “19-point” rule and now the Attack has to hope that Big Ben gets at least 30 points to make it worth it.
Big Ben is going up against the Redskins, who are ranked 29th against the pass, so it’s possible that he gets into the 30s, but the Attack’s opponent has the QB on the other side of this matchup.
RG3 is averaging 29.4 points a week, and even though he has to go up against a defense that is ranked 10th against the pass, I don’t look at that stat when it comes to a dynamic threat like Griffin. His rushing yards could easily push him over 30 if the Steelers hold him to a 15- to 20-point day passing.
The Toasters also have the edge at running back, especially if Chris Johnson is truly back.
Today is a big test for him. He’s got the Colts, and with that, he’s got the chance to establish himself as a true fantasy threat in 2012. He’s had double-digits in three of the last four weeks, and that’s the kind thing that makes the Toasters happy.
Stevan Ridley had similar success early, but after back-to-back single-digit weeks, the Toasters has to wonder if Bill Belichick has just moved on. The Rams have given up more than 100 yards rushing in just one game this season, so this could be tough, but considering the fact that the game is in London, I find that we can just throw out the usual stats. Anything can happen over there.
The Attack has Wes Welker in that game, and he should get his usual targets and impress all the Brits.
But I don’t think it will be enough to take out the Toasters, who will ride another great pair of RG3 and CJ2K performances.
Jammers’ Prediction: Toasters 126, Attack 116
Sunday Slackers (5-2) at Team Boyer (2-5)
The Slackers head to Team Boyer, and with Ray Rice, A.J. Green and Torrey Smith on the bye, Team Boyer has to be licking their chops.
First of all, timeout. Let’s call this matchup what it really is. Slackers v. Spacklers.
The Battle of the Acklers!
And the Slackers already made up for one of his WRs with Mike Williams’ 14 points on Thursday.
Even with Rice and Green out, the Slackers still have Drew Brees, Reggie Bush and Randall Cobb. That should be good enough to get past Boyer who has benched Tom Brady.
Wait, what?
Brady is benched?
What is going on in the Spackler organization? Why has Brady got the boot? To expand, why did he get the boot for Carson Palmer, who hasn’t been much of fantasy starter this year. He was drafted to take over for Tom Brady’s Week 9 bye, but somehow, he’s getting the start in Week 8.
This mistake could cost the Spacklers.
But let’s simmer down on the critiquing of the Spacklers organization. They’re fresh off a win with their new assistant GM and perhaps this move is the first of many bold moves by the new man in the front office. The little guy has onions, I’ll give him that.
That said, I’m not buying in yet.
Jammers’ Prediction: Slackers 127, Spacklers 110
OK, it’s 11:45 and I’m running out of time here. The Facebookers are getting antsy. I had a long day Saturday and I need to nap here before the Eagles game.
So, for my matchup and my brother’s matchup, we get this.
The Chinese Organ Thieves should take care of business against the Noise, but the wideout matchups for the Thieves could give the Noise a glimmer of hope to win this. If Robert Meachem or Marques Colston both have big days, look out for an upset.
In my matchup, it’s not worth the paragraph it’s getting. T-Money and I both have 2-5 records and we’re both in need of a win. Both are rolling with struggling QBs, both have decent running backs and the Jammers has the edge in wideouts but it’s not by much because Reggie Wayne could be in line for a big day.
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