And that’s where we’ll start this late JFL preview.
Why is it late?
Probably because I don’t care about fantasy football anymore, says Houserville.
No, no, no. I wound up going out to dinner and enjoying a nice evening with Mrs. Jammers.
I’ve ignored her on too many Saturday nights, so we enjoyed an Italian dinner and some Walking Dead, a.k.a., my fantasy lineup. (FYI, we just started the series on Netflix. Interesting so far.)
Don’t like that excuse? Oh well. I hope you lose.
Real Houserville (7-3) at Fear and Loathing (6-4)
Neither team can clinch today because both still have a matchup against the Noise, but Fear and Loathing is in a position where a win sets him up for a division title.
Fear is 2-0 in the division already and a win today would give him the edge of Houserville, who would then have two divisional losses.
On the other side, a win for the Ville would give him a two-game lead with two games left. He couldn’t lock it up, but he’d give himself two weeks to win one game.
His win would also help the World of Noise.
Yes, get this.
Today, Dawson doesn’t suck.
The Noise is rooting for him. He needs the Fear to fall to 6-5 so when he plays Fear in Week 13, it could be for the Wild Card.
And that looks to be what will happen.
The Ville already has 13.6 points this week from C.J. Spiller and there’s plenty of points coming from the rest of his fantasy team. I like Doug Martin, Demaryius Thomas, Andre Johnson and Jimmy Graham to all have big days — but Cam Newton will have the biggest day and he’ll earn another start after this week.
On the other side, I really only like Roddy White and potentially a Lance Moore TD. Other than that, points will be hard to come by for Fear and Loathing.
So in Week 11, Dawson, I congratulate you: You do not suck.
Jammers’ Prediction: Houserville 141, Fear 98
Jawz Attack (4-6) at Sunday Slackers (8-2)
The Slackers have won five straight games and the division title is already his with two divisional matchups left.
So he could lose the final three and still be safe, but that’s certainly not the plan.
He wants to be 4-0 in the division.
He wants to be the No. 1 seed.
And he wants that points title.
___ deleted by the CIA ____ LaRod Stephens-Howling, who will start for the Attack.
I don’t trust him, just as I do not trust many of these players on the Attack. Why the hell is Chris Ivory on the bench? You'll regret that. I'm mad that you picked him up in waivers ahead of me only to bench him. I would have started him.
I do think that Steve Smith will score today — possibly twice — and I think Jermichael Finley cracks the end zone for first time since Week 1, but that’s not going to be enough.
Drew Brees, Ray Rice, A.J. Green and Randall Cobb will combine for more than 100 points themselves and lead the Slackers one step closer to the No. 1 seed, the points title and my bankruptcy.
Dottsville Toasters (5-5) at Jimmy Jammers (3-7)
This matchup is huge.
The Jammers are in spoiler mode while the Toasters look to get out of spiraling-out-of-control mode.
With three straight losses, the Toasters cannot afford a fourth. That would set up Team Boyer for a chance to win the division. He can’t have that happen.
So rise up RG3. Your team needs you.
With 15 points in Weeks 8 and 9 and then the bye week in Week 10, the Toasters have missed you.
And he’s the key to today’s victory.
When RG3 scores 30 points or more, the Toasters are 5-0. When RG3 provides 25 points or less for the Toasters, he’s 0-5.
So you can see what I mean. He needs this.
Or does he?
The Jammers lineup has more red on it than a political map of the deep South. Two players are out, three players are questionable and six more are probable. It’s like Episode 6 of Band of Brothers with “Medic! We need a medic!” being shouted over and over.
This roster had so much promise — even if Parker thinks that C-minus draft rating was completely warranted. I’m sure ESPN’s draft projector could predict Stafford’s slump, Sproles’ broken hand, and the Chargers forgetting that they have a 1,000-yard back that they can hand it off to (Andy Reid fever?).
All those issues will shine bright today and it’s why the Toasters will edge out a win here and keep the Spacklers at bay — at least for one more week.
Jammers’ Prediction: Toasters 121, Jammers 112
Channel 4 News Team (7-3) at World of Noise (4-6)
To just say that the Noise needs an upset win is not enough.
He needs to have a huge week in points and hope that one or two of the News Team’s studs have sub-par weeks.
That’s what he needs in order to stay in the playoff hunt.
And believe it or not, I think he has a chance. I’m not saying it’s a good chance, but I can see the Noise squeaking out a high-scoring win this week.
If Michael Turner can play, the Noise has a chance to put up some big points this week. I like BenJarvus Green Ellis to score against the Chiefs, I like DeSean Jackson to actually have an accurate deep ball thrown to him, and Marques Colston should get a TD today.
Even with all of that, Noise needs to have former Jammers QB Matt Ryan score more points than former Jammers QB Aaron Rodgers. … Man, that’s painful to type. I need to fire my GM.
And the Noise’s only hope for a low-scoring day from Rodgers (and by that, I mean 20, 25 points) is if the divisional rivalry results in a bit of a defensive battle in Detroit. Because if the Lions defense can’t step up, this matchup has 40 fantasy points for Rodgers written all over it.
Even worse, Arian Foster has a decent matchup against Jacksonville, ranked 29th against the run, and Jamaal Charles vs. Cincinnati, ranked 27th against the run.
So, you can see what I’m talking about. The News Team is set up nicely for a big week.
But if the Noise can pile on the points that I think are out there for him this weekend, it could come down to Brandon Marshall and Robbie Gould on Monday night.
And if that’s the case, the News Team should worry because without Cutler, Marshall may struggle.
Are you buying this? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It’s still the Noise. How can we trust the Noise?
The fact is, we can’t. Not yet.
Jammers’ Prediction: News Team 155, World of Noise 140
Team Boyer (4-6) at T-Money (3-7)
Can you believe that both of these teams with these records are battling for a division title?
Yeah, boggles my mind, too.
I’m starting to think divisional realignment is a good thing. … Let’s just pencil in the Jammers for the NFC East for 2013… Yeah, that looks good.
The question right now is who will be the reigning NFC East champion in 2013?
Can T-Money really do this?
Mathematically, yes.
But in Week 11, I like the Spacklers.
One, I trust Tom Brady more than I trust Tony Romo, although, I will point out that Romo and the Cowboys have great games in November. With a matchup against the Browns, I could see a situation where Romo actually outscores Brady today, but would you look at the Spacklers.
He saw that this could be a hole in the wall and he patched it right up by placing Kevin Ogletree in the lineup to work alongside his top wideout, Dez Bryant.
So, as long as Tony Romo’s biggest plays go to those two wideouts — which is very possible, especially Ogletree with the Browns secondary focusing on Bryant and Miles Austin. I can easily make an argument where Ogletree scores a touchdown.
And I could hit the backspace key right here, but I don’t feel like it, so let’s keep typing. NFL Network JUST REPORTED that the Browns top corner, Hayden, will be out today.
Hello Dez Bryant. I just added a TD to his projection, too.
And because the Spacklers will cover a good chunk of the Romo points, I think it will come down to Vincent Jackson and Jonathan Stewart having double-digit games. If they both can produce that, Boyer will win by eight points.
Jammers’ Prediction: Spacklers 128, T-Money 120
Chinese Organ Thieves (7-3) at Graybill’s Generals (2-8)
The Thieves will have plenty of time to keep an eye on the interesting News Team-Noise matchup, because this one will be over after the 1 p.m. games, and the Thieves will still have four more players to play after 4 p.m.
Peyton Manning will put the nail in the coffin and push the Generals one step closer to the No. 1 pick in the 2013 JFL Draft where he’ll be able to select a new franchise player.
Perhaps a starting QB?
Or does he look to Andy Dalton to lead this franchise in the future. The No. 7 QB in the JFL will get the start this week as the Giants are on the bye.
Even without the bye, he may have gotten the start. Eli Manning has been awful, and Dalton has earned this chance.
But there’s not much helping him out this week. He’s got LeSean McCoy, who with 22 carries could score 20 fantasy points per week, but Andy Reid doesn’t believe in that (Norv Turner-itis?).
The Thieves also are missing a big player, you know, the No. 1 RB in the JFL, Adrian Peterson, but he’ll be OK. Rob Gronkowski will scored two TDs, Steven Jackson will make Rex Ryan swear and Trent Richardson will grind out some points early against the Cowboys to lead the Thieves past the Generals.
Jammer’s Prediction: Thieves 141, Generals 92
Comments