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This is what it looked like on Thursday for RG3, Tom
Brady, Tony Romo and Matthew Stafford. Thanksgiving
Day football was a video game/turkey shoot for some QBs.
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I do. And I missed it so much, I’ve decided to bring it back for Week 12.
Here we go.
There are two weeks left, or less if you count the fact that three games of Week 12 are already in the book.
Thursday was an interesting day of football. I saw a few minutes from each game — honestly the least amount of football I’ve seen on Thanksgiving in a long time.
And a pair of my fantasy stars had a big day, hopefully helping my team avoid the No. 1 overall draft pick. I don’t want that. And if I get it, I’m trading it. Probably to my brother because I want to help his team get better. … Who says that?
Several teams today will not be worrying about the draft. Division titles and playoff spots are on the line today.
The Slackers (8-3) have already locked of the AFC East, but the other three divisions are all up for grabs today.
In the AFC North, Houserville can clinched the AFC North with a win over the Chinese Organ Thieves, or a Fear and Loathing loss to the Noise.
Fear can remain in contention for the division with a win over the Noise and a Houserville loss. He would then have to beat the Generals in Week 13 and hope the Noise can upset the Ville to win the division.
The Noise can’t clinch a playoff spot today, but a win over the Fear would be huge. It will tie them for the same record at 6-6 and set up a dramatic Week 13. If the Noise wins over Houserville in Week 13 and Fear loses, of course, the Noise is in — even if the Jawz Attack keeps pace because the Noise owns the tie-breaker over the Attack. If it’s the other way around in Week 13, the Fear will get in — and he too owns the tie-breaker over the Attack.
If the Noise and Fear finish with the same record at 6-7, the Noise would get in using the fourth tie-breaker (inter-conference record) as the Noise would be 3-3 vs. the NFC and Fear would be 2-4. If both are 7-6, then that inter-conference record would be tied at 3-3, which means we’d have to go all the way to the fifth tie-breaker, total points, and right now, Fear holds a 50-point edge on Noise. That could change in two weeks, and now with the points coming into play, you can see why Week 13 will be so interesting. … It also means we could look back in time to that week (last week) where the Noise had 57 points on the bench.
For Jawz to get in, he needs to have a better record than both Noise and Fear, so he needs to win out and have Fear lose out, and Noise lose in Week 13 to Houserville.
In the NFC East, it’s Toaster time. He has control of his destiny. Win out and he’s in. He can also clinch the division with a win today and a Boyer loss. If they both win or lose, then it comes down to next week’s Boyer-Toaster matchup for the division and the playoff spot.
In the NFC West, the Thieves can clinch the division and the No. 1 seed with a win today over Houserville and a News Team loss to the Generals. If that doesn’t happen, no matter if they both lose or both win or if News Team wins and the Thieves lose, Week 13 will be a winner-take-all game for the NFC West. The winner would get the bye week while the other would play the NFC East division winner in the first round of the playoffs.
And back to the Slackers. He can wrap up the No. 1 seed with a win and a Houserville loss. The Slackers owns the head-to-head tie-breaker, so as long as he keeps pace with the Ville, he’ll get the No. 1 seed.
But it’s not going to be that easy. The Jammers dropped 62 gravy-filled points on Thursday to take a big lead over the Slackers. We all know that means nothing. The Jammers already had a huge Thursday performance only to lose miserably on Sunday.
The Toaster also had a huge Thursday, scoring 84.7 points, thanks to 45.4 points from Robert Griffin III. Can you believe that T-Money hung tight with 43.7 from Tony Romo? He also got 9.2 from Jason Witten to make the matchup 84.7-57.9 heading into Sunday. Both teams have six players left. To me, the battle will be won by who has a bigger day — Toasters Chris Johnson vs. Jacksonville’s sorry run defense or T-Money’s Reggie Wayne vs. Buffalo’s crappy pass defense. I like to think that CJ2K will have the bigger day, so I’m going with the Toasters in this matchup.
That means Boyer, a.k.a., the Spacklers, needs to win today.
… And he may have won on Thursday. Tom Brady saw that Romo and RG3 both had huge Turkey Days, so he opened the can of corn on the Jets, scored 44.5 points, adding to Dez Bryants 29.7 points to give the Spacklers a 78.7-38.7 over the Attack lead heading into Sunday. Both have six players left … well, officially, they do. The Attack is going with Bryce Brown at running back, so I’m not so sure how well that’s going to work out. I’m going to be at the Linc freezing my butt off watching two sorry teams compete on MNF, so if the jinxed I applied to LaRod last week occurs, I’ll run down to the sideline and call out to Bryce and shout, “YOU’RE WELCOME!”
He won’t get it, but it will still be fun.
Then again, he may not hear me over all the “Fire Andy” chants.
How does he still have a job?
Oh well, back to the topic at hand. The Spacklers will win this and force the NFC East Division Title Game next week. Are you excited?
You better be, because it won’t be the only game being played for the division title next week.
Only 3 percent of the precincts are reporting but right now, I’m calling this one for the News Team. He’s got a 26.7-0 lead over the Generals heading into Sunday and I’m giving him the win. He’ll collect the one Electoral College win and move to 8-4 overall, meaning no matter what the Thieves do today, Week 13 will be for the division title because the News Team owns the head-to-head tie-breaker over the Thieves.
The Thieves have a new WR corps this week, as he brought in Danario Alexander and Golden Tate. I was going to pick up Danario (I did in Schiavo’s League) but I didn’t feel the need to. Now the Thieves will utilize his services, and he’s had only 45 points since being elevated to No. 1 wideout in San Diego two weeks ago. Against Baltimore, he’ll get another 17 points. Despite the Ville getting 20.6 points from Andre Johnson, I feel like the Thieves have a chance to pull off the comeback because I trust his three RBs more than the three RBs the Ville is rolling with.
I do like Doug Martin to get enough touches to crawl into double-digits, but I’m not sold on C.J. Spiller and Marcel Reece this week. The Thieves’ trio of backs all have tough defenses to go up against, but I still think that they’re the type of backs who can get to double-digits no matter what. So then it comes down to the quarterbacks and this may be a “What was I thinking?” moment for the Ville.
He’s looking across the field and he’s seeing his former franchise QB, Peyton Manning, who he gave up on so he could go with the younger guy, Cam Newton. I just looked, and in his three losses, Peyton Manning wouldn’t have made the difference, but this week, he may finally make him regret it.
Both have good matchups, but I like Manning’s chance for big points more than Newton, who struggles in the limelight. Monday Night Football may be too much for him again.
The Slackers may be too much for the Jammers, despite the 62-0 lead. Yeah, can you believe that? A 62-0 lead with six players left to play is not safe. The Slackers has all 9 players in play today, finishing with Randall Cobb in Sunday Night Football.
By that time, Cobb will score 20-some points to polish off this blowout win for the Slackers.
The Jammers is rolling with Ronnie Hillman and Kenny Britt in Week 12, which means he’s either desperate or he doesn’t care. From what I hear, he just doesn’t care.
Here’s a statement from the front office: “We’re going to go with the crazier lineup this weekend because if we are to defeat the superior Slackers, we’d like to do it with the best bum squad we can put out there.”
Speaking of bum squads, let’s talk Fear and Loathing.
This team looked good at one point in the year. But it has fallen apart. Starting today at RB, Jalen Parmele and Kendall Hunter. … Yeah, it’s that bad.
The Noise has the all-around better roster, the better QB and he’s got the big head start with a 22-point performance from the Patriots defense.
That’s why I’m pulling for the Noise — that means rooting, not colluding — in this matchup. He’s got a team that could seriously compete with the Ville and the Slackers in the playoffs. I said it at the start of the season in the previews, the Noise can compete and will compete. He struggled to get over 100 points several weeks in a row, but I think that had a lot to do with his Meachem obsession. Once he got past that and the bye weeks, he’s been able to throw out nine strong starters each week.
He’s my darkhorse if he makes the playoffs, and this week, he’s taking one more step to removing the “if” from that statement. Noise wins big to set up what will be an awesome Week 13.
We will have two division title games, the Noise playing his heated rival Houserville for a chance at the playoffs, and Fear and Loathing playing the Generals for a chance to force the fifth tie-breaker with the Noise. … That’s also why this head-to-head matchup is so big this week. If the Noise wins by 50, in a way, it sets up a secondary matchup for the playoffs. Who scores more in Week 13 if they both win.
That’s enough to make me, T-Money and Graybill come off the golf course and watch.
Oh, and joining us on the golf course this week, Jawz Attack.
** I just finished proof-reading and was about to hit "PUBLISH" and the NFL Network on-site reporter in Chicago just reported that the Vikings bus just arrived without Adrian Peterson. He will reportedly show up later, so this of course has a huge effect on my prediction of the Ville-Thieves matchup. The Thieves needs A.P. to win.
** I just finished proof-reading and was about to hit "PUBLISH" and the NFL Network on-site reporter in Chicago just reported that the Vikings bus just arrived without Adrian Peterson. He will reportedly show up later, so this of course has a huge effect on my prediction of the Ville-Thieves matchup. The Thieves needs A.P. to win.
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