So, Always Sunny In
Philadelphia is finally on Netflix.
You want to know how hard it is to write a Super Bowl
preview while watching Always Sunny in
Philadelphia?
I’ve sat in front of a blank, untitled Word document for two
straight episodes, and now, I’ve punched out three sentences in the first 10
minutes of the next episode.
Man, it’s tough.
It’s even harder to see the intro where they show the quick
glimpse of Lincoln Financial Field.
It’s a quick reminder of how awful 2012 was — for me, at
least — but there’s one more week of fantasy football and two more blog posts to
write, if you count this one, so I think I can get through it.
Here we go. It’s time for the Super Bowl VII preview —
hopefully the only Super Bowl preview I ever have to write about the Slackers.
That’s right, I don’t like him very much.
Well, let’s clarify.
Parker Dunbar is an excellent person and a great friend.
His fantasy franchises, however, I dislike.
I’m tired of the Slackers. I’m tired of the Gamblers. I’m
tired of the Frosty Nips. … Although, I do love his hockey team name. Classic.
So you can understand why I don’t want him to win this
weekend. I don’t want him to join the two-title club, which has an exclusive
membership of myself and the Chinese Organ Thieves, his opponent.
The Thieves squeaked out a win last week over the Spacklers,
and I’m sure he sent Adrian Peterson a Christmas card on Tuesday for his 30.2
points.
With more than 90 points in his last three games, the
Thieves are asking for just one more 30-point day.
On paper, it doesn’t look easy as Peterson has to go up
against the No. 4 rushing defense in the NFL, the Houston Texans.
However, you take a closer look at the numbers and you see
that in the last two weeks, the Texans have given up more than 100 yards
rushing, something they did just once in the prior 13 weeks.
I will guarantee that Peterson gets over 100 against the
Texans, and if you add in a TD or two, the Thieves are in good shape.
I can’t say the same for Trent Richardson. He’s got the No.
3 rush defense in Denver.
Fortunately, I think QB Peyton Manning will make up for that
as he gets the chance to pass against the Cleveland defense.
With a chance to improve their playoff situation, Manning
will throw for more than 300 and at least two TDs.
On the other side, Drew Brees will throw for more.
I like the Saints to beat down the Cowboys in a shootout
this weekend and play spoiler. I think Brees could hit 400 yards and throw for
four to five TDs.
The other player to watch is Reggie Bush. Last year, in the
JFL playoffs, Bush scored 28 fantasy points when he faced the Bills. After 100
yards rushing last week, I think there’s a good chance he could have a big day.
And that’s good news for the Slackers considering how poor
the Ravens have been, which has limited Ray Rice’s production. With just 4.7
points last week, the Slackers have to be a bit nervous as the Ravens go up
against the Giants. With that front four in New York, I could see some major
issues for Flacco and Rice.
The Slackers are going with Mark Ingram instead of Torrey
Smith for the exact reasons I just gave in the prior paragraph, and I’m not
sure how well he’ll do in a shootout in Texas.
A.J. Green had just one catch against the Steelers in their
last matchup, so I’d worry a bit there because the Steelers defense will focus
on him again. Randall Cobb has been steady since Week 4, but even with
double-digits from Cobb, I think this matchup will come down to “How big of a
day can Brees have?”
I think the key is going to be getting 45 points from Brees.
The Slackers needs one of those days; otherwise, I think a 28-point day from
Peterson will doom him.
There’s no home-field advantage, so it’s straight up points
this week, and in the end, I think the Thieves end up on top.
Watch out for big days from Brandon Gibson and Jeremy Maclin
to shock the Slackers and give the Thieves his second Super Bowl title.
Jammers’ Prediction:
Thieves 139, Slackers 124
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