With the playoffs about to start, I wanted to treat everyone
with what could have been.
We all could be here if we made the right moves.
In fact, you could be undefeated had you done what about I’m
about to show you.
Forget about your keepers, just pretend you started to build
your team from scratch in Round 1 of the JFL draft (round 3 of course after the
two keeper rounds), and if you had the 12th pick in the draft, you could have
drafted nine starters that would have given you a Super Bowl team.
With your first pick, No. 12 overall in the first round of
the JFL draft — coincidentally, my first pick where it all went wrong for me —
you should have taken A.J. Green, No. 1 WR in the game this year, who actually
went in the second round.
With your second pick, you should have snagged Doug Martin,
who went in the fourth round.
With your third pick, you should have selected Tony
Gonzalez, No. 2 TE in the game, who went in the fourth round.
In that popular fourth round, you should have taken QB
Peyton Manning, who was picked a round later in the fifth.
In the sixth, you should have grabbed the No. 2 WR in the
game, Randall Cobb, who was actually a 12th-round pick — a steal for the
Slackers.
In the seventh round, you should have taken the Bears
defense and in the eighth round, you should have taken Reggie Wayne or Alfred
Morris for your flex position. Pick one, it doesn’t matter. Wayne averages 12.6
points per week, Morris averages 12.5. I’d go with Morris because he’s hit
double-digits more consistently.
And with your ninth pick in the draft, you should have taken
undrafted kicker Lawrence Tynes, who is the No. 1 kicker in the game. ... An undrafted kicker leads the league. Man, what's that say about all those who drafted a kicker before Round 17?
In the 10th round, you should have shut off your computer
and given the rest of the room the “You want a piece of me?” look.
Why, because the team you just drafted would have averaged
143.3 points per week, and in Week 9, you would have scored a JFL-record 198.3
points.
Outside of Reggie Wayne/Alfred Morris and Tony Gonzalez, the
best team you could have drafted includes players who are on playoff teams.
The Slackers and Houserville each have three players from
this team, while the Organ Thieves has the QB.
The latter two teams get the chance to rest in Week 14 and
wait for the conference championships to get back into the ring.
The Slackers hoped to have that luxury, but a loss in Week
13 ruined that and forced him to play in the Wild Card round.
Willis McGahee, Jalen Parmele, Bernard Scott and Kendall Hunter all landed on the IR after jumping on the Fear's roster, and Donald Brown is inactive now, too, after getting one start for the Fear. |
Fortunately for him he gets the beat-up Fear and Loathing,
who added running back Alex Green to fill out his lineup. So get ready Green,
you’re about to go on the IR because Fear is like the Grim Reaper of running
backs.
That means Fear needs to get all the points he can out of
Green before he goes down, and with a matchup against the Lions, Green is in a
situation where points will be out there for him. He just needs to get the
touches.
He’ll also need Andrew Luck to produce another huge week. He
had a monster Week 13 to clinch the final playoff spot in the AFC, and now
he’ll need another big week to out-duel Drew Brees.
Brees had an awful Week 13 and with a matchup against the
Giants, it isn’t exactly the prescription for a bounce-back week. The Giants
front four certainly can cause some problems for Brees, so Fear is going to
hope that if Brees is going to throw a TD or two, they are thrown to Lance
Moore.
The matchup also will rely heavily on the Vikings-Bears
game. The Slackers have the Bears defense while Fear has the Vikings. The
outcome of this game could dictate how this fantasy matchup plays out.
I think Fear will keep it close, but I just think the
Slackers wideouts will do enough to move him on to the AFC Championship game.
In the NFC Wild Card game, Team Boyer takes his five-game
winning streak up against the Channel 4 News Team, which got the Wild Card
berth after losing to the Organ Thieves last week.
Trust me, he cannot be happy about this. The last thing he
wants to do is have to play the Spacklers in Week 14.
He also can’t be happy that he has to face the team the beat
him in Week 10. Boyer won 113.3-101.5 to give him two straight wins en route to
five straight. The News Team loss, however, came without Rodgers in the lineup.
In Week 14, Rodgers is not on the bye and he’s going against the
Lions.
You would think that it would be a good matchup, but Rodgers
had just 22.8 against the Lions the last time out.
That has to worry the News Team a bit, especially after a
poor Rodgers performance in the playoffs last season cost him in a loss to,
yep, you guessed it, the Spacklers.
The Spacklers have a chance to get back to the Super Bowl
for the second straight season and third time in franchise history.
He hasn’t won a Super Bowl yet, but he’s got the lineup to
do it, especially if Tom Brady keeps playing at a high level. This NFC Wild
Card game will come down to Monday night when Brady’s Patriots take on the
Texans.
The News Team will roll out Arian Foster in that matchup as
the two will certainly jostle for the higher score that night.
The AFC Wild Card game will be complete by that point as
both Fear and the Slackers conclude their matchup with a pair of players going
in the Sunday night game.
The Slackers have Randall Cobb, while Fear will watch Alex
Green play for a few quarters before breaking his leg.
Sorry, Alex.
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