I’m sure all of us dream of playing in the JFL Super Bowl.
But on this Christmas Eve morning, the five NFC teams that
didn’t make the Super Bowl woke up thinking how grateful they were to not be
playing in the big game this year.
Why?
Because they would have been destroyed. Manhandled. Routed.
Embarrassed.
Or, as we will now call it, “Slacked in the Face.”
With a new JFL record 186 points, the Sunday Slackers won
Super Bowl VII becoming the sixth different champion in League history — and officially my least favorite.
The Chinese Organ Thieves, a champion in Super Bowl II, was
the unfortunate loser in this matchup — and it was over quickly.
The Thieves texted me during the 1 o’clock games asking how
much money the runner-up got.
Yeah, he accepted the fact that the Slackers were going to win because at that point, Reggie Bush had scored three TDs — just as I
said he might, reminding you of his big game against the Bills last
season — and Drew Brees’ day was constantly piling on more points finally finishing with 40.9.
Bush ended up with 29.5, which was his second-best performance of the season, but still very unexpected. Bush scored 34.3 points in Week 2, but in the weeks since then, his highest total was 14 points.
Until Sunday, of course.
The Slackers also got a season-best 22.6 points from Mike Williams, whom
the Slackers may have regretted starting for about 20 minutes after Mark Ingram
scored an early TD. But it turned out to be an excellent move.
It was easy to see why the Slackers dominated as Williams was one of five roster spots to score 20 or more points.
Ray Rice had 23 points and the Bears defense had 29 points.
It was staggering just watching the point totals rise. At
one point, ESPN was projecting 195 points.
The Slackers did come up short of that, but still, he’s got
a new record and he’s got himself a Super Bowl VII title.
Congratulations to Parker Dunbar and good luck figuring out
your keepers. This might be one of the toughest decisions for a team that I’ve seen in a while.
But that decision is for another day. Right now, he's got to make a decision on where the trophy will go. Get ready, Alicia. The living room may have a new addition.
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