I circled it on my calendar in August and I've talked about it for weeks.
That's right, today is Breaking Bad Day. The long-awaited finale is tonight.
What? Did you think I was going to say that I've been waiting for my matchup against the Sunday Slackers?
I mean, yes, that's big.
But Heisenberg's last episode is even bigger.
In fact, can we get another hour delay in the Sunday night game? A few weeks ago, there was a thunderstorm that delayed the 49ers-Seahawks from 9 to 10:10. It was perfect.
Tonight, a thunderstorm can't do that. Well, I guess it could, but it'd have to be pretty severe to shut down the Georgia Dome.
So, we're going to need a lighting malfunction, a la Super Bowl XLVII. The only person in America who would get mad at that is Ray Lewis.
The Slackers would surely agree, based on his Facebook cover photo.
He and I will both be watching the finale as Julio Jones scores two TDs. At least, that's what I hope will happen because it looks like I'll need a big week from him to beat my division rival.
Perhaps I'll need to get Todd or his Uncle Jack on this. I don't want him dead, but perhaps they could steal his NyQuil so he doesn't get out of bed.
And while Jack is at it, perhaps he could do something about David Wilson.
He has screwed me and finally, he's on the bench, and you know what that means, he'll score 20 points. If he does, he better watch his back. He's going to have a large number of pissed off fantasy fans gunning for him. ... He better call Saul and order up Hadji's Quick Vanish.
T-Money will order up the same thing for Wilson's quarterback if he somehow outscores Tony Romo. But I doubt that.
Romo had three touchdown passes last week and he has six on the season. I'd expect at least another two today against the Chargers, but I wouldn't be surprised to see three or even four. The Toasters better watch out. Romo is about to go all Tuco Salamanca on him.
Fortunately for the Toasters, he has RGIII and Alfred Morris going up against the Raiders in this huge divisional matchup in Week 4.
This is the matchup of the week in the JFL as the Toasters look to remain undefeated.
T-Money almost came into this game undefeated, but Eli Manning ruined that.
Both teams got decent points on Thursday so they're primed for a busy Sunday. The key in the matchup may be which receiver Russell Wilson favors the most, Golden Tate or Sidney Rice. The Toasters has Tate and the Money Man has Rice, so I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that whoever gets the most points out of these two will win.
I'd say I'm 96 percent pure, I mean sure, that I'm right.
I'm also sure that this isn't the lineup that Houserville would like to brag about, but it's all he has in Week 4.
With the Panthers and Packers on the bye, he's without Cam Newton, Randall Cobb and Jordy Nelson in what could be a Super Bowl VIII preview.
Instead of Newton, he has to go with E.J. Manuel — which is like the difference between a Heisenberg cook and a batch from Todd. The clientele overseas would not be happy.
They're already pissed that we're sending over a lesser product.
No, I'm not talking about meth. I'm talking about the Steelers and the Vikings.
The British must be furious. We give them the NFL's table scraps. A pair of 0-3 teams will take the field in London today in a game that irks many NFL fans in the U.S.
I really don't get why the NFL is trying to ship its product overseas. It has a huge base at home and it only makes fans mad to see their home games lost and their fantasy players affected by a trip to London.
That being said, the Vikings did show up really early in the week, so Adrian Peterson should be ready to run wild, especially with a new QB taking the snaps. I imagine we'll see Peterson all day on the pitch. Against a struggling Steelers, I think he'll put up good numbers.
And once you add that point total to the number of points that Peyton Manning will amass against the Eagles, the Thieves should easily beat the Ville.
That means the Generals-News Team matchup, which features a pair of 1-2 teams, is huge. Falling to 1-3 in this division will be a tough pill to swallow. It will be even worse for the Generals because that would also mean he'll fall to 0-2 in the division. I mentioned at the start of the season that this division may come down to tie-breakers and the division record will be extremely important.
Fortunately for the Generals, he catches a huge break. It's Aaron Rodgers bye week, the one week in the JFL that everyone would love to play the News Team.
Rodgers has that potential to put up 50 fantasy points on any given week, except of course on the bye week. Ryan Tannehill doesn't pose that threat, which is good considering the Generals only got 20.1 points out of Colin Kaepernick on Thursday. That's three straight sub-par matchups for Kaepernick. In total, over the last three weeks, he's combined for 38.3 points, which is about 3 points less than he scored in Week 1.
If that doesn't happen, he'll end up like Jesse Pinkman — in a hole looking up at a group of powerful men with a bunch of weapons.
Good luck to everyone but Parker, of course, and for those who are obsessed with Breaking Bad, enjoy the finale. I hope I do.
And if you haven't seen Breaking Bad, I did provide any spoilers and you need to get on Netflix ASAP.
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