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Dawson will take credit for this, but it was created and uploaded 18 hours
before he posted on Facebook. He must work for the NSA.
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Right now, the entire AFC North is winless — NFL and JFL.
That's right. The AFC North as a collective in the real and fantasy world is 0-7.
I'm going to say that I doubt we'll ever see that again any time soon, for any division.
The odds are staggering. I mean, I don't know what they are, but I'm guessing if someone did the math and told me the odds, I'd say, "Damn, that's staggering."
It's an extreme oddity that will certainly end in Week 2 as divisional play kicks off in both divisions.
In the NFL, the Ravens and Browns will square off in a rivalry that gets Cleveland all excited because they can show the franchise that ditched their city and won two Super Bowls in Baltimore how much they truly hate them.
In the JFL, it's the Noise and the Ville in a rivalry that has no where near the history of the Ravens and Browns, but it's just as heated because the Noise likes to pretend his words are a stick and the Ville is a bear. #poke #superpoke
Constantly, the Noise pollutes Facebook with the same phrase over and over and over: "Dawson Sucks."
Why does he do this?
Could it be because his hated rival only scored 86 points in Week 1?
No, it's not that.
Perhaps it's the Noise's built up anger from years and years of domination.
Yes, that must be it.
The Noise hasn't beat Houserville during the regular season since Week 3 of 2009, and his last win was in the 2009 NFC Championship game. That's six straight losses to the Ville and seven straight regular-season flops for the Noise. Overall, he's 2-9 against the Ville. #owned #NoiseSucks
Maybe it's time the Noise actually make some noise on the field rather than on the JFL Facebook group page.
But this will be a tough week to do that, and with the matchups the Ville is looking at, he should be good to make it eight straight regular-season wins over the Noise. Cam Newton win find it easier to go up against Buffalo, as opposed to last week's matchup against the Seahawks, who may easily have the best defense in the NFL. The Ville also is rolling with Randall Cobb and Jordy Nelson, which to me is the best move. If both flop, well, it's hard to complain. But it one goes off, you can be happy you didn't have to choose the right one. And, of course, if both have a big day, kudos to you.
The biggest key for the Noise will be the Falcons matchup against the Rams. The Ville has the St. Louis defense, while we all know the Noise has Matt Ryan and Steven Jackson.
Three other divisional matchups will kick off in Week 2 as the Organ Thieves (1-0) travel to the News Team (0-1), the Spackers (0-1) play at the Toasters (1-0), and the Jawz Attack (1-0) matches up against the Jammers (1-0).
The latter is the only battle of undefeateds in Week 2 and the winner will enjoy a nice start to the 2013 season, especially if T-Money (1-0) can beat the winless Sunday Slackers. Man, that sounds nice. #GoTMoney
The fact is, I can root for T-Money all I want, but I'm not sure he has the lineup to tackle the Slackers. With 119 points last week, he was just unlucky to run up against Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson.
This week, T-Money may have the same helpless feeling after Drew Brees and Ray Rice get done with their games.
The team that created the helpless feeling last week has a big matchup against the Channel 4 News Team, who lost in Week 1 to the Toasters.
Ah, the Toasters. Somehow they were able to rally back and win. I said in the preseason I'd be wary of RGIII and after seeing him limp around on Monday night, my beliefs haven't changed. He's a ticking time bomb.
And the worst part about that bomb is when it goes off, the Toasters are left with Brandon Weeden. The same Brandon Weeden who had 17 fantasy points after just one TD and three interceptions.
It is quite baffling. No, not just the Toasters' decision. The Redskins'.
How can they risk so much at this point? It's interesting the difference between the two Washington franchises.
The Nationals took all the precautionary steps for Stephen Strasburg, and that meant potentially missing out on a World Series trip, or even title. It didn't bode well the next year with a healthy Strasburg, but nevertheless, they were careful.
The Redskins did the opposite and started their "Strasburg" in the playoffs and it cost them just the same, and potentially more. Now, because RGIII injured himself more in that playoff game, he's put his entire career in jeopardy.
He scored a decent 28 points last week, most of it against a prevent defense that shouldn't have been used throughout the second half.
This will be an interesting test against the Packers this week, and after seeing what the Eagles did to that defense, I can't imagine them stopping Aaron Rodgers and the Packers.
See, after talking about the Toasters for several paragraphs, the News Team finally smiled. Mark Rodgers down for 40 points. #CraigJustWonderedWhoMarkRodgersIs
Chump change against the Thieves.
Peyton Manning spits in the direction of 40-point nights — or what he calls an Eli.
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