"Just another 9 minutes," I say every time.
Similarly, I looked at the free agent list Sunday morning last week and saw Justin Blackmon, and I thought about picking him up. There was a high upside there.
But I hit "snooze" on that move and missed out. Five catches, 136 yards and a touchdown later, I realized I had made a huge mistake.
It got worse on Wednesday. I didn't have the right waiver slot to get him so I didn't even bother, but my division rival, Sunday Slackers, did.
Now, Blackmon will be a Slacker. It may not mean much this week, but looking ahead to Week 13 when the Jags play the Browns and I play the Slackers, that's disappointing.
This week, it won't be easy sledding against the Broncos. Yes, I know they let the Cowboys throw all over them, but whoever starts for Jacksonville today is nowhere close to the caliber of Tony Romo and his entire receiving corps.
And the Slackers have some work to do to catch up to the Spacklers. The pair of 3-2 teams both look to improve their winning streaks to four games.
That's right, both the "acklers" in the JFL started 0-2 and have won three straight. The Spacklers got a huge night out of Brandon Marshall on Thursday, scoring 22.5 points, and when added with Hakeem Nicks' 7.8 points, he's got a 30.3 head start on the Slackers.
Psht, 30 points. Drew Brees will get that in his sleep.
But so will Philip Rivers in 2013. The JFL's No. 3-ranked QB scored another 30.5 points last week and he's averaging 31.9 a week. That's been enough to supplant long-time Spackler starter Tom Brady.
For the second straight week, Brady will be on the bench and Rivers will get the start.
And for the second straight week, it will be a late comeback attempt for the Spacklers. He's got Rivers and Danny Woodhead going on Monday night, which means he'll look to do to the Slackers what he did to the News Team.
That is why the Slackers will hope to own at least a 50- to 60-point lead after today, because as we saw last week, a 42-point lead wasn't enough for the News Team.
The other key in this matchup will be Marshawn Lynch, who is questionable. It looks like he's going to play, but who knows what that will mean in terms of workload.
The Chinese Organ Thieves sit at 4-1 after winning three straight and he'll have to deal with the AFC North powerhouse World of Noise.
Ha, powerhouse. You'd question my sanity for calling him a powerhouse if it weren't for the fact the first question that popped into your mind was: "Noise has won three straight?"
That's right. Remember that winless AFC North after Week 1? I guess we made fun of them a little too much.
The Noise has done it with the No. 2 tight end, the No. 4 and 5 wideouts, the No. 8 running back and the No. 5 and 7 quarterback.
That's some serious single-digit action. We praised the Sunday Slackers for a roster just a little bit better than that last year, and now, the Slackers have a worse lineup, in terms of position rankings, than the Noise.
Can you believe that?
The Organ Thieves do have the No. 1 QB and the No. 3 RB, but at WR, he's going to run with a pair of former Noise WRs, Andre Johnson and Marques Colston.
To continue his streak, he'll need those two to have big games and teach their former owner a lesson.
Oh, who am I kidding. He's got Peyton Manning going up against the Jaguars. The only thing giving the Noise a chance in this matchup is that Jay Cutler had a decent Thursday night performance, and the fact that he has Wes Welker and Julius Thomas. As long as 80 percent of Manning's eight or 10 TDs against the Jags (that's right, NFL record) goes to Welker or Julius Thomas, he'll be in the hunt for a fourth straight win.
I'm going to go with the upset. Noise wins by a field goal, a.k.a., one point over the "Dawson line."
The other four matchups feature long streaks, too, but they're streaks that their owners hope to end.
Your's truly is looking to end a three-game skid against T-Money, and so is Fear and Loathing against the News Team.
Both the Jawz Attack and Graybill's Generals hope to avoid five-game losing streaks, too.
If that streak continues for me, you can bet that I'll hit the snooze a few more times next Sunday, because at 2-4, I will have less drive to get up and write my fantasy column.
Maybe I'll let one of the teams with a four-game winning streak be a guest columnist.
World of Noise just got excited.
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