JFL Week 6 Recap: Noise making Noise in the standings

To win, it helps to have a good pair of wide receivers.

It's even better if you have the No. 1- and No. 2-ranked WRs in the JFL.

Now who could have such a duo?

Could it be the Jammers, who kept Julio Jones and drafted Dez Bryant?

Nope. Jones is out and Bryant had a poor showing in Week 5.

Could it be Parker and his amazing free agent addition of Bad Apple Blackmon?

No way. Not even close.

OK. I give up. Who is it?

What? Who? Can't be. The Noise?

That's right. He was made fun of for keeping DeSean Jackson and he drafted Wes Welker in the second round to solidify this pair of top wideouts in the JFL. The two are combining for an average of 31 points per week and it's no wonder he's in first place in the AFC North with a 4-2 record.

It's eerily similar to the last time — the only time — the World of Noise had a successful year. In 2009, he road Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams, who averaged 30 points per week, all the way to the Super Bowl where he inevitably lost.

Could we be headed that way again? Parker certainly says no, but he's bitter, like an old man staring out his window at kids playing baseball too close to his yard.

He's not the only one upset with the Noise.

The Organ Thieves were flying high until he ran into him, and everything went wrong.

Peyton Manning only threw two TDs Sunday and both went to Wes Welker and Julius Thomas.

It was exactly what I said had to happen for the Noise to have a chance.

He also lucked out in that Adrian Peterson scored just six points and Marques Colston had just 1.3.

The Noise knows all about sub-par Colston days, but he would have easily taken that in place of the negative-2 points that he got from the Vikings defense.

Negative-2. Can you imagine if he lost by negative-2? It would have been as if he were on the road. Insert a Dawson whine here. Ah, nothing like a good Dawson whine, aged thirty-some years.

Speaking of the Villain, he lost despite 41 points from CamJekylln'Hide Newton. The Panthers' QB had 13 points last week after 40 points the week prior.

Has to be frustrating.

Still, when Newton gets the 41-point week, the Ville expects to win.

But that didn't happened, falling by 2.3 points, a margin he surely would have covered had one of two things didn't happen: (1) Randall Cobb left with a serious injury after just 6.1 points and (2) Jimmy Graham left with an injury after scoring zero points.

Cobb is on the IR so that is a huge hit for the Ville, while Graham is questionable to return. He's had MRIs and he has an extra week to heal with the bye week, but the Ville will certainly need him to come back because of the impact he makes.

On the other side of that matchup was the Generals who desperately needed a win and got it despite just 9 points from Matt Schaub, who left the game with an injury before he could throw an interception for a TD for the fifth straight game. Instead, it was T.J. Yates throwing said pick-six. (What an amazing stat.)

And in Schiavo's league, I greatly thank Yates for that since I own the Rams defense in that league.

I almost picked up the Rams in the JFL, but I went with the Cowboys instead, and following the afternoon games, I realized that I needed Dallas to score a TD to make the pickup worth it — and they did. It also was one of several defensive scores Sunday.

The Chiefs had a big day, posting 10 sacks and a TD for 23.8 points, leading the Jawz Attack to an 87.7-80.2 win over the Toasters.

It was the fourth straight week that the Chiefs' defense has scored and fifth time this season. The Chiefs are averaging 17.9 points per week on defense which is 6.9 more than the second-best defense, the Seahawks. That's 107.5 fantasy points for the Chiefs, 66.3 for the Seahawks.

Ridiculous.

It certainly makes it worth the sixth round pick that the Jawz used to get them.

Wait. Hold on. I'm getting word that the last fact I gave was incorrect.

Actually, it was the 12th-ranked 49ers who were taken in the sixth round and it was by the Slackers, not the Jawz. In fact, the Chiefs were taken in the final round of the draft.

Hmm. Makes you wonder. The second-ranked Seahawks and 22nd-ranked Texans also were selected in that sixth round.

With the way that defenses were scoring this past weekend — nine in double-digits — the News Team had to be a tad bit worried as he watched Fear and Loathing creep closer and closer Monday night with Andrew Luck, Nick Novak and the Colts defense in action.

Surprisingly, the highest scorer of the three wound up being the kicker. Novak kicked four field goals and had an extra point to finish with 15 points, while Luck struggled with just 10.9 points.

He had the points on the bench to win with Joe Flacco, but no one blames Fear for sitting him. You do not bench Luck for Flacco. He learned that lesson the week before. Luck should be the go-to guy for the rest of the season, unless the matchups really warrant a switch.

Kind of like the switch the Spacklers made.

Well, I guess his switch didn't really matter. He could do no wrong. He scored the most points in Week 6 despite having 122.3 points on the bench. He had six players hit double-digits on the bench, three more than he did in his starting lineup.

Still, the Slackers lost.

Yeah, I'm just rubbing it in.

He'll make some silly comment about how he doesn't like my team and some other non-sense, but he's still tied at 3-3 for first place with your's truly.

And yes, he can hold that trophy up high.

Go ahead, grab it right now and give it a kiss.

Just remember I had it for a year and I carried it with me everywhere ... and I mean EV-REE-WHERE.

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