That has to be the explanation for Thursday's insane flurry of mega-deals.
Everyone had to have sat inside for hours Thursday, watching the snow fall, and after a 30th time of looking at their fantasy roster, they thought, "Yeah, it's time to make the deal."
Boom, at 7:27 p.m., the first deal came in.
And what do you know, it's Robbie Cano — on the move again. Steroid.ERA, who is quickly taking over Choo's role as a Super Trader, made his third deal of the offseason, sending recently acquired Robinson Cano to Chief Otto Parts for Adrian Gonzalez, Jed Lowrie, Brad Miller and Sonny Gray.
Then, literally an hour and a half later, at 8:57 p.m., the second deal rolled in, as Jerkin My Kurkjian deported Yu Darvish to You're Freaking Out for Jurickson Profar, Mat Latos and Matt Moore. The two owners also swapped their picks in the seventh round of the 2014 JLB Draft.
That was it for the deals, but the JLB Facebook page was on fire for the rest of the night with comments galore. Even the Sex Panthers, who thinks fantasy baseball talk online is stupid, weighed in with a significant burn—and a good one, too.
It was a burn that brought to light an offseason trade the Jerk made last season, one that he regrets dearly.
But, alas, he has moved on.
And Thursday, he made a good deal.
"I knew you'd say that," Parker says. "See everyone, I told you he'd do that."
Oh, Parker. Calm down. Yes, I think the Jerk made a good deal. I also think ERA made a good deal, as well as the two Walters.
Thursday's deals were all-around good for all parties involved.
I won't make any car references, but I can understand what Choo was saying on Facebook; but then again, looking at these deals from the Walter's standpoint, they had these extra players, and if that's what it takes to make the deal, so be it.
Otto wanted Cano, so he made it happen.
Outs wanted Darvish, so he made it happen.
Parker did the same thing, and then some, just to get the No. 1 pick.
But I like these deals more because Yu Darvish and Robinson Cano are much better known commodities than the No. 1 pick — cough, cough, Tanaka, cough.
So with Thursday's deals, everybody wins?
No, there are some losers. We just don't know how many and who all is included on that list.
You see, the one thing that happens when three-for-one and four-for-one deals are made, is that the players who could have been available in Round 1 are now being selected as keepers.
Thursday, we just saw seven potential first couple round picks go off the board.
So, the draft just became strategically harder.
Getting back to the deals themselves, I'll just glance over what I love about the deals.
For the Otto Parts, he moved some big pieces, but with Miggy going back to first base, he now has one of the better infields in JLB history with Cabrera at first, Cano at second, Elvis Andrus at shortstop and Manny Machado at third. Now, he just needs Matt Wieters to come around. Add in Mike Trout and Allen Craig, and he's got an offense that is extremely scary.
This deal also will get everyone off his back about Machado. Everyone has looked at his roster and seen Miggy and Machado both at 3B.
One is expendable, everybody thought.
Not anymore.
The Outs had similar issues at starting pitcher, and he took care of that in his deal. He was going to have to make some tough decisions, so he flippedMoore, in his final season of minor league eligibility, and Latos for Darvish, who also has one more season of minor league eligibility.
This will set up a projected rotation where Darvish joins Jordan Zimmerman, Alex Cobb, Madison Bumgarner, Michael Wacha and Jeff Samardzija.
That's not bad at all. And while he did give up a big bat in Profar, who I really like, his infield is set with Matt Carpenter at second base. And then, he still is left with Carlos Correa and Xander Bogaerts to provide solid depth in the middle infield.
Now, for the guys who apparently upgraded to three- and four-car garages.
First, the Jerk. What a move. Yeah, it's tough to deal Darvish, but he's been desperately looking for a solution at second base, and Profar gives him that. Yes, Profar could move to shortstop in the future, but at this point, he's going to play at least 10 games at second base in 2014 — and most likely the whole season there, unless traded — so he'll have that position eligibility at least through 2015.
Latos is a decent middle of the rotation starter and Moore still has some upside. He did take a step back last year, but I think he's still got a good run in him.
For Steroid.ERA, his deal provides him with upgrades at several positions, including first base, shortstop and minor league eligible pitching. I am a little confused, though, as to who he will be keeping. I personally projected out the lineup on paper, and I found myself leaving out at least three players he has traded for this offseason.
Thus far, he's acquired 13 players via trade in the offseason. Take one away because he repurposed Cano for Thursday's deal, and he has 12 players you would think he would have to keep because they were part of these offseason deals. This doesn't even include the players he acquired in July just before the trade deadline. Counting trades from last season, I project Steroid to have a roster consisting of only two players who were not acquired via trade, and only one who was a keeper last season, Yadier Molina.
So, add the 12 offseason acquisitions into the keeper lineup, that leaves five spots left. Add Molina and Josh Donaldson, who was a waiver wire pickup in 2013, and you're left with three players to select out of more than eight players who were traded for last season.
That means I definitely see a few interesting players dropping into the draft.
Unless, of course, ERA is also looking to trade a few Mercedes for a BMW.
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