Finally, the keepers are in.
And yes, Parker is going crazy. His spreadsheets have been
delayed by at least five hours.
Blame the guy that turned 40 tonight. I didn’t know him, but
my friends did, and apparently this money-bags rented out the third floor of
Melt. You may not know what the hell “Melt” is, but if you can drink and eat
for free on the top floor of Melt, you’d understand.
 |
| Easy, Breesy, Lemon, Keepy Did you expect Drew Brees to make it to the draft? Come on, you know Parker has a Brees jersey. He also has a Ray Rice jersey, but I'm sure he's put that jersey away for 10 o 15 years — a deserving sentence. For the most part — maybe Josh Gordon could be considered — Rice was the only player who had his off-the-field issues affect his keeper status. You can see all the keepers here, I made a full pick-by-pick PDF, HERE. As I said, Parker decided to keep Drew Brees. A good choice, of course. I mean it saves him from making a dreaded mistake at the No. 3 overall pick. Last year, with the No. 1 overall pick, he picked C.J. Spiller, and he felt like he was in great shape with Ray Rice and Spiller. However, he was not. It was an awful pick. And I laughed the whole time that I sat there at Pick No. 2 selecting Dez Bryant. I couldn't believe that he let Bryant slip. He chose Spiller. So silly. And it cost him, so it's no wonder that he played it safe this year and took the first-round keeper of Brees. The New Orleans QB is one of six QBs kept in the draft. That leaves 10 other teams needing QBs. Will there be an early rush? Will everyone wait? It's the big question. Next Thursday will certainly provide some great drama. I hope Spiller is available when Parker's first pick comes around. |
It’s baller.
Like Drew Brees, Tom Brady, Calvin Johnson, Jamaal Charles; all of whom — yes, whom is the right usage there — are keepers
in the first round.
In total, we have eight players being kept in the first
round, two in the second, one in the sixth, and one in the 12th. Houserville is
taking the biggest gamble by keeping Montee Ball in the 12th round. He actually
drafted him fifth round last year, but because he dropped him and picked him up
later in the year, under JFL rules, Ball counts as a 12th-round keeper.
Either way, I’m not sure Ball is exactly the back you want.
But with the No. 1 overall pick, Houserville surely isn’t
worried. He can pick the best player left.
And that player could be among many with the way the keepers
worked out. Eighteen of the top 25 players, according to ESPN, are available.
So Houserville has the greatest pressure. With Ball is his pocket, he cannot
make a mistake round one.
Also, with an RB in the 12th round, he better make sure he
has a RB slot available to pick him. … Otherwise, he’s in trouble.
So outside of Houserville’s big gamble, there were Team
Boyer’s — the Spacklers — pick of Eddie Lacy in the sixth, the Jammers — your’s
truly — pick of Dez Bryant in the third, and Jawz Attack’s pick of Antonio
Brown in the fourth.
The final eight players were selected as
keepers in the first round, six of whom were quarterbacks. (How about that, two
“whoms” in one blog!)
The Slackers kept Drew Brees because Ray Rice is wanted for
murder. He should lie low. … OK, he’s not wanted for murder, but he might as
well be, because the Slackers aren’t touching him — and this, coming from the
fantasy owner who has no problem with Ryan Braun and Alex Rodriguez. … He
should keep Rice.
Second on the list of QBs is Tony Romo, who will rejoin
T-Money for yet another year.
I told you last year that I completely apologized for all
the years of dogging T-Money. I said for once, I think Tony Romo is going to be
a good keeper. And for a couple weeks, he was. But honestly, in 2013, he was
awful. Thirteen times he scored 20 points or less. His one five-TD performance
against Denver was the only bright spot.
So, that is why he is ranked 115th heading into 2014; yet,
he is officially the fourth pick in the draft.
It is a bit rash. T-Money had the option to keep Arian
Foster as a third-round pick, so I personally may have gone that way, but what
the hell, I dog him every year for Romo. Why should 2014 be any different?
On to QB No. 3. That’s Tom Brady. Team Boyer is keeping him
again, and why shouldn’t he? Tom Brady is the ONLY NFL player in JFL history to
be on the same team throughout the eight years of the League.
He will hold that title for at least one more year.
Brady’s arch nemesis, Peyton Manning, will be the
first-round keeper for the Chinese Organ Thieves at pick No. 8 while pick No. 9
will be Andrew Luck to Fear and Loathing.
The Toasters will select Calvin Johnson at pick No. 10 —
he’s upset I made him chose between RGIII and Megatron, but he made the right
choice.
Matt Ryan goes at pick No. 11 to World of Noise while the
two-time Super Bowl champion Channel 4 News Team will take Jamaal Charles at
pick No. 12.
That leaves the four newcomers to draft at picks Nos. 13
through 16.
With the keepers gone, they will technically be picks 5
through 8. Not bad, considering all the players left on the board.
I mean, of the top 300, I see No. 1 Adrian Peterson, No. 2
LeSean McCoy, No. 4 Matt Forte and No. 5 Marshawn Lynch.
Certainly the draft will be fun.
A reminder to everyone that they should be aware of the
keepers. With the way the draft is set up, the players mentioned in this post
are available in the draft. There are stiff penalties for selecting a keeper.
I’ve prepared a PDF with the pick-by-pick draft (in the breakout captain above), as well as
a list of all the keepers in alphabetical order below. There should be no mistaken
who should and should not be drafted.
Good luck to all, and I look forward to writing more
previews and recaps for the JFL.
2014 Keepers
Ball, Montee (DEN) – 12th round, pick 177, Real
Houserville
Brady, Tom (NE) – 1st round, pick 6, Team Boyer
Brees, Drew (NO) – 1st round, pick 3, Slackers
Brown, Antonio (PIT) – 4th round, pick 37, Jawz
Attack
Bryant, Dez (DAL) – 3rd round, pick 39, Jimmy
Jammers
Charles, Jamaal (KC) – 1st round, pick 12,
Channel 4 News Team
Johnson, Calvin (DET) – 1st round, pick 10,
Dottsville Toasters
Lacy, Eddie (GB) – 6th round, pick 95, Graybill’s
Generals
Luck, Andrew (IND) – 1st round, pick 9, Fear and
Loathing
Manning, Peyton (DEN) – 1st round, pick 8,
Chinese Organ Thieves
Romo, Tony (DAL) – 1st round, pick 4, T-Money
Ryan, Matt (ATL) – 1st round, pick 11, World of
Noise
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