This year, the get a new member, the Jawz Attack, who just couldn’t cut it in the AFC East. With the Slackers and Jammers in his rear-view mirror, he can now move on to attack his new rivals, including his loud-mouth nephew, World of Noise.
While he may not have the best QB in the division — that honor goes to Houserville — he has a great chance to jump up and be the division winner.
He finished second in the poll behind Houserville, but with his offensive weapons, he could quickly prove people wrong.
So could the World of Noise, who's antics may have effected his standing in the preseason poll. He was selected to finish first by three people, third by two and last by five — and Dawson didn't even get to officially vote for his division.
His unofficial ballot for the AFC North (because you cannot vote for your own team) was:
1. Not Craig
2. Not Craig
3. Not Craig
4. Craig
That feeling was a theme for many in the JFL, but will in come true?
Personally, I do not agree. I have the World of Noise finishing first followed by Houserville in a close second. Jawz will be close, but just based on the preseason outlook, I have him just below the 'Ville.
And Fear has one QB and no chance.
Real Houserville
2013 Record, Finish: 5-8
Career Record: 47-38
Outlook
Real Houserville is in a comeback role. In fact, he should make a bunch of pregame motivational T-shirts for his team with the word "COMEBACK" written in all-caps on it.
After making the playoffs in each of his first five seasons in the JFL, Houserville took a plunge and fell to last place — not only in his division, but in the JFL.
So perhaps that’s why he’s latching onto to potential comeback players — Aaron Rodgers, Jake Locker, Julio Jones and Dennis Pitta. All missed significant time last season and all will look to come back strong in 2014.
If they do, then Houserville should, too. The biggest problem I could see for Houserville is at running back, but that’s just because I’m not sold on Montee Ball.
However, he won’t need any miracles out of him if Rodgers and Jones return to Pro Bowl status.
It’s hard not to get five stars here. Aaron Rodgers is a stud, and I’m not worried one second about him coming off of injury. He returned for the final game in 2013 to throw for 318 yards and two TDs. He’ll be just fine.
Jake Locker is a solid backup and I believe he has the potential to put up good numbers, it just won’t be on the consistent level Rodgers will, so he’ll remain a backup all year.
And Chad Henne… Why the hell is Chad Henne even on this team? He’ll be dropped before Week 3. If he isn’t, I’m returning to this preseason preview, and taking away a star.
Running Backs ★★★☆☆
Did I mention I do not like Montee Ball? Yeah, I’m not sold yet. He really struggled last year, rushing for 559 yards and four TDs. He wasn’t impressive at all, and he never could take the job from Knowshon Moreno, because he wasn’t good at pass-blocking.
If you can’t pass block for Peyton Manning, guess what, you’re on the sideline. That’s what happened last year.
In 2014, however, Moreno is gone and the No. 1 job belongs to Ball right now. If he doesn’t get the blocking down, he’ll certainly see fewer and fewer snaps on passing downs, which in Denver, is almost every down.
So, yeah, Montee Ball. I wouldn’t have kept him. If I were Houserville — and you should know this by my draft — I would have kept Jimmy Graham. He would have been a third-round keeper, well worth it in my opinion.
He still could have Rodgers and Julio Jones. Man, that’d be a trio.
But alas, he has Ball. Add in Shane Vereen, who will likely see pity starts because Ball can’t cut it, and it’s a pretty shaky backfield. The player I like the most won’t get much playing time because of Jamaal Charles. Knile Davis is a stud waiting for his chance, and it won’t happen unless Charles drops another box on his foot.
Stepfan Taylor annoys me with the spelling of his name, and I won’t have to worry about spelling it much after this.
Wide Receivers ★★★★☆
I had a hope that Julio Jones would make it to Pick No. 7 in the second round, but I knew it was a one-in-a-million shot. Jones looked strong in camp and I fully expect an explosive year from the Falcons wideout.
Houserville scooped him up right away and added DeSean Jackson and Michael Floyd to make a decent trio of WRs for 2014. Rueben Randle and Jarrett Boykin are OK backups, and they will come in handy if he plays the matchups right.
But for the most part, he’ll be relying on Jones.
The Falcons WR was off to a hot start last year before breaking his foot, scoring double-digits in each of the first five games, catching 44 passes for 580 yards and two TDs. At that pace, he would have been really close to 2,000 yards receiving, and I may have made it to the Super Bowl.
That’s what Houserville is hoping for this year. Not only will the points come in handy, but when he plays the dreaded World of Noise, he’ll be able to cancel out Matt Ryan if Jones has a big day.
It will sting more for the Noise if Jackson can pick up right where he left off with Philly. He had nine TDs last year and I’m sure he hopes to up that number with RGIII at QB. With RGIII’s mobility, that will allow Jackson to create matchup problems in the secondary. We saw this in Philly. When the QB could buy an extra two seconds, Jackson would lose his cover. He’s that quick. The biggest thing will be accuracy. RGIII will have to deliver it, and as you'll see later, I'm not big on RGIII.
Floyd had five TDs last season and he saw a lot of targets from Carson Palmer. He’ll just have to hope Palmer throws the ball more to the red jerseys this year. Interceptions killed scoring opportunities for the Cards, and in turn, for Floyd.
With Larry Fitzgerald garnering most of the defense’s attention, Floyd should get open. He just needs Palmer to get him the ball.
Tight Ends ★★★☆☆
Dennis Pitta is back, but the Ravens also got Owen Daniels also on the team. That should create some platooning situations, which could leave Houserville dreaming of Jimmy Graham.
If he has to rely on backup Dwayne Allen, those dreams may become nightmares.
Jawz Attack
2013 Record, Finish: 6-7
Career Record: 20-32
Outlook
I was tempted to put Jawz ahead of Houserville — really tempted — but I just couldn’t do it. Adrian Peterson is certainly better than Montee ball, but I gave Houserville the advantage at QB and WR. Rodgers and Jones push him on top.
But, with that said, I do think Jawz has a team that could make the playoffs and contend in this division. Of course I have to like Rodgers more than Jay Cutler or Carson Palmer because they’ve been hit or miss. Still, both QBs have the talent around them to produce some big fantasy point totals, so if Jawz plays his Cards (or Bears) right, he could really do some damage.
Plus, his wide receiving corps is set up nicely and he’ll have flexibility to go with either 2 WRs and 2 RBs, or 1 RB and 3 WRs.
The thing that could lift Jawz over the top, and even over World of Noise, is a healthy Rob Gronkowski. My goodness, if we see that, Gronk will be a steal of the draft, and Jawz will be in the playoffs for the first time.
Quarterbacks ★★★☆☆
I can only give this group three stars because of injuries and inconsistencies.
Jay Cutler threw for 19 TDs last year and 12 INTs, and missed time due to an injury, but he still has two of the best WRs on his team in Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffrey. He can really rack up the fantasy points if the Bears offense clicks from day one and he stays healthy.
Carson Palmer tossed 24 TDs last year, but had 22 INTs to go with it. He has some really good weapons, including the best hands in the game with Larry Fitzgerald. If he can just keep the ball out of the other team’s hands, he’ll actually be a decent fantasy option for Jawz.
That said, I expect Cutler to see action most of the way, and I expect, if Jawz makes the playoffs, it will be because of Cutler.
You may think I’m a stickler when it comes to grading, but I’m taking a half-star away because Adrian Peterson jumped over the 2,000 carry mark last season — a plateau that has marked the down-turn of several great backs, LaDainian Tomlinson and Shaun Alexander to name a few. They quickly fell from the fantasy ranks after they hit that number, and at age 29, I’d be a little worried about Peterson.
It’s why I wouldn’t have picked him if he fell to me.
Still, other than the historical data, there’s no reason to think that Peterson’s career is over. He had eight double-digit fantasy games last year, including six of 20 points or more. He had some very poor performances, too, including a 6.8-point performance in the JFL playoffs. Still, his 1,266 yards and 10 TDs a year ago are all Jawz can ask for this season.
If not, he’s got a couple backup options in Bishop Sankey and Maurice Jones-Drew.
Jones-Drew has looked good in Oakland thus far — he had a sweet TD run the other night — and he’s hoping a change of scenery will help him out after just 803 yards and five TDs in 2013. For Jawz, Jones-Drew has been a keeper in the past and I’m sure he was happy to bring him back in the later rounds.
Sankey was a later round addition as well, but he’s had a bit of a fumble problem in camp — Coach Ken Whisenhunt blames his footwork — and he’ll have to correct that if he plans to start in Tennessee.
Ronnie Hillman is a good handcuff for my favorite Montee Ball and Jonathan Dwyer will waste space until Jawz finds a defense he wants on the waiver wire.
Wide Receivers ★★★★½
Considering the running back situation, Jawz may only need to roll with two WRs, and the two he has starting will be Brandon Marshall and Antonio Brown. Brown broke into the NFL with a huge season, helping the Jammers win the Super Bowl. He fell flat on his face the next year making me look like a fool, and last year, there was a bit of a resurgence, but when you look into the numbers, you’ll see that seven of his nine TDs came during a seven-game stretch. He’s been streaky. Jawz will need a little more consistency.
Still, with Marshall and Brown, there’s no reason not to expect a combined 25 to 30 points a week from them on average. On those weeks where one — or both — of them go off, he’ll be in the drivers seat for a win.
Kenbrell Thompkins and Brandin Cooks both will provide quality sleeper potential for the Jawz, too.
Tight Ends ★★★★½
I took a half point away because of injuries. A healthy Gronk is a five-star Gronk. Remember when I wrote a few paragraphs above about how Brown and Marshall could single-handedly win Jawz matchups.
Gronk can do the same. If he plays at the level we’ve seen him play at when healthy, he’ll be a game changer for sure.
Fear and Loathing
2013 Record, Finish: 7-6 (8-7 overall), lost in AFC Championship Game
Career Record: 54-55-1
Outlook
Fear disappeared from the draft room and had autopick take over for him in the final seven rounds, and that hurt him big time. In a deep 16-team league, you can survive autopick over the first couple rounds, but when it comes to the mid- to later rounds, you really need to control what you’re getting. You know, like a backup QB.
This will hurt him greatly.
And the season isn’t starting off right as his kicker, Matt Prater is suspended four games for drinking, which violated the alcohol program he was in stemming from a 2011 DUI. So, there goes one piece for the Fear. Yes, it’s only a kicker, but still, it’s not a good sign.
To be competitive, Fear has to find a backup QB for Week 10, he needs Luck to step up the TDs to 30 and cut down on the turnovers, and he needs some breakouts at WR.
After losing in the AFC Championship game last year, Fear appears to take a step back, but as we know with fantasy football, luck plays a huge hand, and perhaps luck and Luck will be on his side in 2014.
Fear and Loathing has a lot of faith in Andrew Luck. How much faith, you ask? Well, so much that he didn’t even care to draft a backup. That’s right, somehow, in Week 10, he plans on winning with Luck on the bye week.
Maybe he’s hoping that a good QB will show up on the wire for Week 10.
Either way, he has a lot of eggs in the Luck basket, and he better hope they don’t crack open. No viable backup can be dangerous and season-ending.
And it’s not like Luck is Peyton Manning. I could see the Organ Thieves being OK with this strategy — I wouldn’t advise it, but I could at least understand it. Manning had nearly 600 fantasy points last year.
Luck did not. He threw for 3,822 yards and 23 TDs to go with his nine INTs and six fumbles. It didn’t get better in the postseason where he had just six TDs and seven INTs.
Fear has to hope Luck forgets about 2013 and starts anew in 2014. If he is not, well, then it may be time to trade for a QB.
Running Backs ★★★★☆
DeMarco Murray and Le’Veon Bell — if not suspended — will start most weeks for Fear because he really doesn’t have the WRs to go three-wide each week. Murray had nine TDs last year, but only three 100-yard games. The Cowboys played from behind often, which contributed to Murray’s lessened fantasy value. For him, like most backs, it’s important to get the carries. Seven of his eight double-digit fantasy point weeks came when he had 16 carries or more. Injuries also caused him to miss two games, and that’s been a trend for Murray. Fear needs to have a healthy season from him.
Bell hit double digits in nine of his last 11 games, which included eight TDs in four of his last five games. Pittsburgh is trying to re-establish the run, but it weighs heavy on how heavy the punishment will be for Bell’s run-in with the law. He apparently didn’t realize you could get a DUI for smoking and driving. The NFL has a rookie symposium every year. Why isn’t this taught? Or is it and did he just not pay attention. If it’s the latter, I’m worried.
And what’s up with these NFL players getting DUIs? If you make that much money, pay a driver. It’s like Jamaal Charles. He hurts his foot moving boxes. Pay a mover. Jeez.
Fred Jackson also is a member of Fear and he quietly had 11 double-digit games last year with his 10 TDs. If he can have a similar year, Fear will be in great shape at RB. He also has James Starks and Shonn Greene as handcuffs to their starters.
Wide Receivers ★☆☆☆☆
Julian Edelman is the top guy and that scares me. The other four WRs are Kendall Wright, Andre Roberts, Andre Holmes and Dexter McCluster, and they combined for seven TDs in 2013. Edelman hit 1,000 yards and had six TDs.
Someone is going to have to step up there or it might be time to trade one of those RBs. … Man, he’s going to have to trade those RBs for a lot.
Tight Ends ★★★★☆
Vernon Davis will end up being the best receiver on this team. Hell, with Delanie Walker as the backup, he’ll wish he could put one in at WR. Davis had 850 yards and 13 TDs last season, and I’d expect a similar kind of season from him this year.
Fear will have the advantage at tight end most weeks, but will it be enough to overcome the disadvantage that he currently is in danger of seeing each week at WR?
World of Noise
2013 Record, Finish: 8-5 (9-6), lost in JFL Super Bowl VIII
Career Record: 43-67
Outlook
World of Noise didn’t mean to draft Reggie Bush, but when he did, he may have sealed his second straight division title. The lineup of Matt Ryan, Bush, Reggie Wayne, Roddy White and Wes Welker is one that doesn’t jump out at you on paper, but it is one that several voters thought was good enough to win this division.
I personally agree. The two big reasons are Ryan and Bush. I think Ryan will have a big year with Julio Jones back in the lineup, and with an improved offensive line, he should gain a little more time in the pocket to find guys like Jones, White and Harry Douglas.
The biggest problem with the Noise will be depth. If anyone goes down, he’ll be in a bit of trouble. We could say that for most team in a 16-team league, but it seems to be more-so true for the Noise.
Nevertheless, everyone is healthy in the preseason, and there’s no reason to think he’ll lose any of the reliable offensive threats.
Probably one of the better moves the Noise ever made was trading for Matt Ryan in the offseason two years ago. It’s worked out rather well, and while some may question his selection as a first-round keeper, I think we’ll see the kind of numbers that make it worth it.
Last year, he had 10 two-TD games and he probably could have had more if Jones didn’t go down with an injury. Ryan still finished with 4,515 yards and 26 TDs last season. The turnover bug got to him, though, with 17 INTs and four fumbles. I’ll expect less of those with a better offensive line.
If it was a turnover bug that got Ryan, I don’t even want to see the creature that bit Joe Flacco. He turned the ball over 30 times last year (22 INTs, eight fumbles) and only threw for 19 TDs.
It was a bad year. And that’s why he’s a fantasy backup. Sadly for Ravens fans, he’s their starter. (Sorry, Graybill.)
Noise also grabbed Michael Vick late, and this will only help if (and I really mean when) Vick takes over in New York and Flacco is sent to the free agent list.
Running Backs ★★★★☆
Craig stared into nowhere, lost in the expansive void between picks. Suddenly, there was a beeping sound.
“What could this be?” he wondered.
“Craig? Did you mean to pick Reggie Bush?”
“Nope. Oh, well.”
Oh, well, indeed.
Bush exploded for an 86-yard TD run the other night, and for Noise, that’s hopefully a preview of what’s to come. He’ll need Bush to be the player he was last year because when it comes to depth, he’s putting a lot of faith in the speedster.
DeAngelo Williams may be the next best option if he’s ever going to roll with two RBs, but on most weekends, I expect three WRs from the Noise.
Jacquizz Rodgers and Chris Ivory also join Bush on the roster.
Wide Receivers ★★★½☆
Can you imagine if Joe Flacco regains his poise with the tandem WR duo of Steve Smith and Torrey Smith? Yes, I know that’s asking a lot, but it could happen.
If it does, the Noise has four solid WRs. Reggie Wayne is back after missing nine games last season; yet he amassed 503 yards and two TDs in those seven games he played.
Roddy White also missed a few games — three to be exact — and had 711 yards and three TDs.
Wes Welker suffered a concussion during the preseason, but he says he’s feeling good, which is great, because last year, his 10 TDs were huge for the Noise. With Peyton Manning at the helm, he’ll always have the chance to put up numbers like that.
Together, the four WRs have potential because of their past, but they are all older and you have to worry a bit.
If all are well, it could be a second straight trip to the Super Bowl for the Noise.
Tight Ends ★★☆☆☆
The tight end position will not be the position to help him get to the Super Bowl as Greg Olsen make a return, and Owen Daniels joins the team now as a member of the Ravens.
I’m sure they’ll get targets, but they will have their ups and downs. Noise will have to make smart starts to maximize their potential.
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