JimmyJam Football League Week 1 Preview

A year ago at the JFL Draft, the World of Noise grabbed the JFL trophy and held it high. The photo caption said something along the lines of, “Get used to this.”

Rodgers moves to Houserville
Aaron Rodgers drove up to Houserville in his moving truck and
unloaded all his stuff. He plans to stay for a while.

He's heard about the lack of good QBs in this town and he's
proud to finally give them a QB worth cheering for.

He's also out to prove the News Team wrong.

"You give up on me?" Rodgers said in his first press conference
since arriving in Houserville. "And I'll make you pay. Just ask
that Jimmy Jammers guy."

Rodgers was very stern, referencing his Super Bowl V win over
the Jimmy Jammers, a year after he was traded by the Jammers
to the News Team. It was a mistake that the Jammers has been
regretting for years.

Now, it appears Rodgers is out to get the News Team.

Can you imagine if Houserville meets the News Team in Super
Bowl IX? It's a longshot, but it's the only chance that Rodgers
will get to face his old team this year.

With the new 16-team schedule, the News Team and Ville do not
meet this year, so for 15 weeks, Rodgers will root for the News
Team.

He wants revenge.

Well, we joked at the time, but he showed us all by going to Super Bowl VIII. It was his second Super Bowl appearance and the seventh by a Johnson.

That’s right, in seven of the eight years of the JFL, the AFC has been represented by the Jimmy Jammers or World of Noise. Brotherly dominance. Too bad the NFC has won five of eight Super Bowls.

The Sunday Slackers, a Super Bowl champion, is the lone team to crack through and sneak into the Super Bowl from the AFC.

All three teams figure to be in the running again this year and the odds are in their favor. But can they — or any other AFC team — dethrone the NFC?

The Channel 4 News Team won his second title last season and he’ll begin his championship defense this weekend against the World of Noise in the annual Week 1 Super Bowl rematch.

The News Team’s squad looks quite different than it did last year, so it will be interesting to see how he plans on defending his title — especially with RGIII at the helm instead of Aaron Rodgers.


CHANNEL 4 NEWS TEAM (0-0) vs. WORLD OF NOISE (0-0)
HISTORY: Noise leads series 5-4.
LAST MEETING: News Team won 106.6-93.3 in Super Bowl VIII.

KEYS

RGIII READY TO RUN?: You may be wondering which RGIII will show up in the season opener? The News Team is looking for the guy who threw for 281 yards and three scores in Week 10 last season, and not the one that had just 7.2 fantasy points in Week 12. It’s the hot-and-cold factor you have to deal with when you draft RGIII. This Sunday, the heat will be on, but it may not be because RGIII is on fire. It may just be because he’s got J.J. Watts and Jadeveon Clowney hot on his tail. I foresee a rough day.

DOUBLE-POINTS: With Matt Ryan and Roddy White, it’s the first week of what the Noise hopes is several big double-point weekends. But, he has to hope the Saints defense has weakened against the pass. They ranked fourth in the NFL last year and held Ryan to 15.5 fantasy points (no TDs) in their last meeting. If the Noise wants to win, that has to change, double-points or not.

PROVING HIS WORTH: Jamaal Charles got the nod at keeper over Aaron Rodgers and Nick Foles. The News Team is hoping that is the right decision. Charles had a field day (22 carries, 108 yards, TD) against the Titans last year, and Nikish will look for similar numbers on Sunday. Otherwise, he’ll begin to question his selection, especially with RGIII at the helm. … I guess he could always take a QB from the Jammers. The last time he did that, he won two Super Bowls in four years.

JIMMY JAMMERS (0-0) vs. T-MONEY (0-0)
HISTORY: Jammers leads series 7-3.
LAST MEETING: Jammers won 96.4-75.1 in Week 6 of 2013.

KEYS

BATTLE OF CLEVELAND BACKS: The Jammers’ RB issues have been well publicized because the Sunday Slackers have made sure of it. He’s not a fan of waiting two weeks for Ray Rice. So, while the Jammers’ waits, it’s Terrance West getting a shot, but he’s going to have to fight for carries with Ben Tate. And, of course, Tate is a member of T-Money. How do the schedule makers come up with these crazy matchups? Tate is projected to score more points, but as we know, all it takes is a TD to flip the script.

ROMO TO BRYANT: The Jammers will be able to steal some points from Tony Romo with Dez Bryant in the starting lineup. If Romo any of TDs go to Bryant, the Jammers will be in the driver’s seat.

CATCH 22: Jimmy Graham is projected to score 22 points in Week 1. That’s a nice number to see after drafting him in the first round, but his dominance will be needed with Ray Rice on the bench.

ORGAN THIEVES (0-0) vs. FEAR AND LOATHING (0-0)
HISTORY: Thieves lead series 6-2
LAST MEETING: Fear won 114.4-98.5 in Week 7 of 2013.

KEYS

QBs HEAD TO HEAD: This happens so often it’s no longer a shock. Two QBs matching up in real life and in the fantasy world. The Thieves have Peyton Manning going, who will be playing at home against his old franchise, the Colts. Fear will roll with Andrew Luck in the battle of Indianapolis franchise QBs. I’m going to go out on a limb and say Peyton wins. … Then again, in their battle last season, it was Luck edging out Manning in fantasy points with 37.9 to his 35.9.

CJ2K REBOOT: Chris Johnson is looking to start anew and he gets his chance this weekend against the Raiders who were absolutely awful against the run last year, ranking 28th in the NFL. One of the Raiders’ best performances, however, came against Johnson an the Titans in Week 12, holding him to 73 yards on 20 carries.

MATHEWS VS. No. 1 RUSH DEFENSE: The Cardinals ranked No. 1 against the run in 2013, giving up just four TDs and two 100-yard games. In the nine games of the season, they held opposing RBs to less than 45 yards in five of those games. Arizona lost a key component to that defense to a preseason injury, and Ryan Mathews, who had more than 460 yards and three TDs in his final four games of 2013, is looking to take advantage of that. A double-digit scorer in each of his final eight games, he may just be ready to break out. Sunday will be the first test.

SUNDAY SLACKERS (0-0) vs. DOTTSVILLE TOASTERS (0-0)
HISTORY: Toasters leads series 4-2.
LAST MEETING: Toasters won 114.7-78.3 in Week 7 of 2013.

KEYS

WILL WILSON KEEP IT GOING?: Russell Wilson posted a QB rating of 133.8 in the preseason, completing 78.6 percent of his passes for 437 yards and three TDs. He also ran for 61 yards and three more scores. So, with a Super Bowl title and a hot preseason under his belt, the Toasters are hoping he can pick up some big points in Week 1. And he’ll find out right away as the Seahawks open up on Thursday at home vs. Green Bay.

THE LONG WAIT: The Slackers will certainly trail heading into Sunday — by how many, only Russell Wilson can tell us — and even though he can bounce back on Sunday, he won’t be able to clinch a win until Monday night is over. Calvin Johnson will take on the Giants at 7:10 Monday, and the Slackers will hope to have more than a 20-point cushion by then because we all know what Megatron can do.

NOT SO BREESY: Drew Brees had seven games where he posted 30 or more fantasy points in 2013, however, not one of them came against Atlanta. The two rivals opened the season last year with Brees throwing for 357 yards, two TDs and one INT, and in Week 12, Brees managed just two TDs and 278 yards in their next meeting. Will he be able to break the 30-point barrier this weekend? If he does, I’m sure it’s because Jimmy Graham caught a pair of TDs.

CHALUPA BATMAN (0-0) vs. JERKIN’ MY KIRK HERBSTREIT (0-0)
HISTORY: First meeting.

KEYS

SPREAD OFFENSE: This matchup will start at 8:30 on Thursday and end sometime around 1:30 a.m. Tuesday. Both teams have players going in the bookends of Week 1. For the Batman, it’s Marshawn Lynch on Thursday, while the Jerk has Randall Cobb and Steven Hauschka. In the nightcap on Monday night, Batman has Philip Rivers and Larry Fitzgerald, while Jerk has Keenan Allen. With it that spread out, it should be a fun matchup to watch all weekend. It easily could come down to the Batman battling from behind on Monday night and taking the lead in the fourth quarter; you know, at around 1 a.m. Tuesday.

FORTE FEAST: Matt Forte has to be licking his chops. The Buffalo defense finished the season giving up 270 rushing yards and two TDs in Week 17. Forte, and the Jerk, would love to have the chance to put up those numbers. Plus, Chalupa has the Bills defense. That would just make it sweeter.

BUCS STOP OR START HERE: Who are the Bucs? Batman has a lot of faith in them, but is faith enough? Doug Martin, Vincent Jackson and Austin Seferian-Jenkins will all take the field for Chalupa on Sunday, and he’s hoping for a high scoring game with Carolina. That would help him out big time, especially considering the fact the Jerk has the Bucs defense.

REAL HOUSERVILLE (0-0) vs. BOYER’S SPACKLERS (0-0)
HISTORY: Houserville leads 4-2.
LAST MEETING: Houserville won 111.4-62.6 in Week 13 of 2013.

KEYS

RODGERS’ ERA BEGINS: It’s the first test for Rodgers as a member of Houserville. He returned from injury for the final regular season game last year and posted 28 fantasy points. Those points may be tougher to come by against the Seahawks. The Spacklers could make Houserville’s night worse if Jordy Nelson steals a TD.

IS BRADY BACK?: Last year, Tom Brady didn’t fair well within the division, failing to hit 15 points in four of six AFC East matchups. That included an 11-point effort in Week 8 vs. Miami, who he faces this week. To be fair, he best outing against the AFC East also came against the Dolphins in Week 15 (364 yards, two TDS and 29 fantasy points). So which Brady will show up. The one that threw for 34-plus TDs from 2010 and 2012? Or the one that was a fantasy nightmare.

HAVE A BALL: It’s Montee Ball time. Put up or shut up. I was vocal about it in the offseason, now it’s time for him to shine or falter. Either you see a big “Told-you-so” Facebook post from Dawson, or a bunch of jokes in the Jargon next week.

JAWZ ATTACK (0-0) vs. GRAYBILL’S GENERALS (0-0)
HISTORY: Graybill leads series 3-1.
LAST MEETING: Graybill won 116.9-79.2 in Week 7 of 2013.

KEYS

NEW TEAM NAME? NO WAY: On June 23, I floated the option for JFL teams to change their team names because I typically don’t allow it just to maintain consistency. But Jawz waited and waited and waited, and two months later, after I finish re-doing all the archives and writing all the season previews, he changes his name. What gives? I will continue to call him Jawz Attack until I get the urge to go back and redo all the archives.

GRONK HAS THE GREEN LIGHT: Rob Gronkowski got the official OK to play on Sunday which is big news for the Jawz Attack. He’s counting on the Gronk of old to lift his team to the playoffs and a win in the opener would be a great step.

CAM OR COWN: Cam Newton is dealing with a rib injury, but he’s listed as probable for Sunday’s game. So, will the Generals risk it or go with Josh McCown in his official Bucs debut? Chalupa would suggest McCown, of course, but ESPN projections greatly disagrees. Only 12.6 projected for McCown. If that’s anywhere close to being right, the Generals need Newton to be OK.

McCOY VS. PETERSON: This matchup may come down to the two the two top-five draft picks in fantasy football. Adrian Peterson and LeSean McCoy both have very favorable matchups. Both owners are counting on 20 points from them, so if one fall short, certainly the other will have the upper hand in the matchup. I like McCoy to have the bigger day.

CHOO BIG TEEDEES (0-0) vs. PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS (0-0)
HISTORY: First meeting.

KEYS

WORLD SERIES PREVIEW?: The two top teams in the JLB are going at it in Week 1 of the JFL season. Could this be a preview of the World Series? Wouldn’t that be interesting. I just hope it also isn’t a preview of Super Bowl IX, because I swear, I’ll kick Jim Vaughn out.

FOLES GOLD: Sunday looks to be a big day for Nick Foles. Going up against the Jaguars is exactly what any QB would want, especially to start the season. But buyers beware, the matchups we think should be blowouts always seem to be closer than they should. I think Foles will get two TDs, but he won’t come close to that record-setting day he had against the woeful Raiders last year.

ARE THEY BACK?: Frank Gore and Zac Stacy could make a push for the top backfield in the JFL. Both ranked in the top 20 in fantasy scoring last year, but Gore is getting up there in age and carries, and Stacy is coming off a surprising rookie season. This just screams downgrade and sophomore slump.