Veterans Stadium became the first NFL stadium to have an
actual jail installed within the structure. The fans were out of control.
After this past week, we may need to consider adding jails
to all the stadiums; and not for the fans, but rather, for the players.
They are dropping like flies.
World of Noise made a great point; we’re usually worrying
about losing players to injuries. Instead, we’re watching guys get arrested or
suspended.
We all know about my situation with Ray Rice, but it doesn’t
hurt me as much as the loss of Adrian Peterson will for Jawz. The Shark Attack
is in a world of hurt this week with injuries and arrests.
And what a week for that to happen. Like the rest of his
division, he is 1-0 heading into the first week of divisional matchups.
It’s only Week 2, but many of us are going to be searching
for big wins come Weeks 12 and 13, and these first divisional matchups weigh
heavy in tie-breakers, so it’s a HUGE week.
Headlining the divisional matchups are the Jammers vs. the
Slackers and the News Team vs. the Organ Thieves. Both matchups feature owners
who have been division winners over the years, and you can imagine how much
they want to win these matchups.
Trust me. I circled Weeks 2 and 11 on my calendar. I drafted
certain players JUST for these weeks. This matchup means that much to me.
There’s a few other interesting matchups out there, including
a rematch of the AFC Championship Game between the JFL’s highest scorers in
2014, Noise and Fear. The four new franchises are paired up against each other,
too, in their first divisional matchups.
The Money Man will face his good friend Dottsville in an AFC
East battle, while the other two matchups feature teams that are meeting in
divisional matchups for the first time. The Generals will host the new AFC West
team, Team Boyer, while Jawz Attacks makes his AFC North debut against
Houserville.
The newcomers may have been wondering where the weekly
preview was after Thursday came and went without a preview, but I should let you
know, after Week 1, I do not write previews until Sunday morning. Get used to
it.
JIMMY JAMMERS (1-0) at SUNDAY SLACKERS (0-1)
HISTORY: Jammers
leads series 8-5.
LAST MEETING:
Jammers won 137-71.8 in Week 13 of 2013.
NOTES
AVENGER: The
Slackers want revenge in the worst way. The last time these two teams met, the
Jammers routed the Slackers by more than 60 points to put the nail in Parker’s
coffin. It also brought the division crown back the Jammerville.
THURSDAY SNOOZER: For
the Slackers, it wasn’t a great Thursday. In fact, for most fantasy owners, it
was a bad night, unless you had Ravens’ kicker Justin Tucker. The Slackers had
Torrey Smith going, and he didn’t have that great of a start on Thursday, scoring
just 1.2 points. That puts him in a hole to start the week. He did get 10
points from the Ravens defense, but that may not be enough to overcome the
points lost at WR2.
GOING GREEN: The
Jammers are going Green. Matthew Stafford is taking a seat this week in favor
of Andy Dalton, and that’s all because Smith scored just 1.2 points. That
means, the only WR that can hurt the Jammers is the Slackers’ A.J. Green. So,
if A.J. Green scores a long TD like he did last week, the Jammers will get
credit. … Unless, I change my mind before 1 p.m., which is entirely possible.
And that means, the last 30 seconds of your life reading this was a waste, and
I apologize for that.
HYDE-ING AT FLEX:
Why is Carlos Hyde at FLEX? Yes, he scored a TD last week, but Parker must be
expecting 16 TDs from him — once a week, for those of you who can’t do math.
That’s not happening.
GRAHAM-BREES:
It’s the first of two Brees-Graham meetings. The next comes in Week 11, which
may be a pivotal matchup. Right now, this rivalry matchup isn’t as crucial due
to the fact that it is only Week 2, but one of these teams will look back to
this matchup and wish they would have won it.
CHINESE ORGAN THIEVES (0-1) at CHANNEL 4 NEWS TEAM (0-1)
HISTORY: News
Team leads 11-7.
LAST MEETING:
News Team won 127.5-91.6 in 2013 Wild Card round.
NOTES
HELLO AGAIN: This
is always a fun matchup to watch. These two NFC West powerhouses have been duking
it out for years, including three meetings last year. News Team got the best of
the Thieves with a win in the Wild Card round en route to his second Super Bowl
title, but today might be the Thieves day to shine. Why? Because the News Team
didn’t trade for a new QB.
CHIEF MATCHUP:
The key game in this matchup is easily Kansas City vs. Denver. The Thieves got
71.4 points from his trio of Broncos — Peyton Manning, Emmanuel Sanders and
Julius Thomas — and you have to believe after the amount of yards that the
Chiefs gave up last week that they are just licking their chops to score
bucket-loads of points. Last week, the Broncos scored a bunch and then put on
the brakes. That led to the Colts almost coming back, so expect Manning to pour
on the points today. … On the other side, the News Team has Jamaal Charles. He
had just 19 yards last week, and it may not be an easy road this week. Last
year, the Broncos held him below 100 yards in both matchups, and Charles scored
only one TD in the matchups. If the News Team has any plans of beating the
Thieves, he’ll need a much bigger performance out of Charles.
THIS IS IT FOR RGIII:
If the Jaguars beat Washington, RGIII’s days may be numbered after it. And I
think he knows it. Kirk Cousins is just waiting to take over this team, and
from an Eagles’ fan standpoint, I hope he doesn’t because I could see this
offense picking up after that. But until then, RGIII owns the starting gig, and
today, he needs to prove he can do it. The game is at home, so if the fans are
booing in the second and third quarter, expect Cousins to come in during the
fourth quarter.
DOTTSVILLE TOASTERS (1-0) at T-MONEY (0-1)
HISTORY: Tied at
8-8.
LAST MEETING:
Toasters won 85.9-81.8.
NOTES
T-MESS: T-Money
may need to call Montel Williams for some fast cash, because he is going
bankrupt. Tony Romo is hurt — but likely to play — after playing an awful game
in Week 1; LeGarrette Blount scored only 0.8 points against the Ravens
Thursday; and Alshon Jeffery is questionable for today. If Romo and Jeffery
aren’t effective today, T-Money is going to be in a world of hurt. Hell, I’ll
go as far as saying he’s in danger of posting a performance that will land in
the top 10 for lowest single-game scores. That being said, I do expect a big Dez Bryant day — of course — so that should equal some points for Romo.
MEGATRON: Calvin Johnson 31.8 points last week were a huge boost
for the Toasters. Against the Carolina defense today, it may be tough to get to
31, but I don’t think they’ll limit him to single digits. Johnson will score at
least 15 fantasy points today.
MONDAY NIGHT BACKS: Darren Sproles exploded in Week 1 and the
Toasters will have to wait until Monday night to see if he does it again. Trent
Richardson only had 5 points in Week 1 and Toasters will have to wait until,
yes, you guessed it, Monday night to find out if he can come alive.
Richardson’s value was limited in Week 1 because the Colts spent most of the
game rallying from behind. Hell, at one point, Andrew Luck had a streak of 24 straight pass plays.
That didn’t help the Toasters. But with the way T-Money’s Week 2 is looking,
the Toasters may have already sealed the win before the two backs take the
field.
TEAM BOYER (0-1) at GRAYBILL’S GENERALS (0-1)
HISTORY: Boyer
leads series 7-3.
LAST MEETING:
Generals won 137.5-118.
NOTES
FORGETTING WEEK 1:
It’s time to put Week 1 in the past for the Generals. His No. 1 QB never even
made it on the field — unless you count that one play where he illegally ran on
the field to join the huddle. What an idiot. Nevertheless, Cam Newton is back. Sadly,
he’s going against the Lions and that’s a tall task. Eddie Lacy also will try
to forget Week 1 — which may not be hard considering he left with a concussion
— and against the Jets, who only gave up 26 rushing yards last week, that may be
tough. And then there’s Victor Cruz, who had just two catches and 2.8 points.
He’s so explosive, but on that Giants team, he can’t do a thing. It will be
hard to rely on him week in and week out.
BENCHED: Some
interesting choices are being made in the Spacklers' workshop. Team Boyer is benching C.J. Spiller,
Joique Bell and Mike Wallace. I think two of the three should be in the lineup
somewhere. Instead, Boyer is going with Jeremy Hill and Donnie Avery. Both are
projected to get double-digits by ESPN, but that’s because ESPN has them
scoring TDs. I don’t think you can trust projections like that. Especially for
Hill. He’s behind Giovani Bernard, and I like to go with the percentages.
Bernard is more likely to score than Hill, so I don’t trust that. Meanwhile,
Spiller is the lead back in Buffalo (14.5 points last week) and Mike Wallace is
the No. 1 in Miami. Why Avery and Hill get the start, boggles my mind. This may
cost him the win.
WORLD OF NOISE (1-0) at FEAR AND LOATHING (1-0)
HISTORY: Fear
leads series 9-8.
LAST MEETING: Noise
won 104.3-95.4 in AFC Championship Game.
NOTES
SUPER LOSS: The
Noise has won eight games in franchise history against Fear and Loathing, but
loss number eight pained Fear the most. A narrow 9-point defeat to the Noise in
the AFC Championship Game kept the Fear from making his first Super Bowl. A win
in Week 2 will not heal the pain, but it will certainly go a long way for the
1-0 Fear and Loathing.
HIGH ROLLERS: The
highest point totals from Week 1 belong to these two teams. Fear scored a Week
1 high of 142.5 in his win, while the Noise scored 122 points. Both of them
were led by their keeper QBs who are both ranked in the top three after one
week. Matt Ryan led all QBs with 44.5 points, while Andrew Luck is third with
38.4. They’ll both be key this week, and for Fear, he’ll have to wait for
Monday Night to find out if he’ll win this matchup. And even then, with the
Noise rolling with Reggie Wayne, points may be tough to come by if he’s in
significant hole.
COME ON NFL: The
Noise has to be pissed at the NFL and NFLPA. All week they teased him with the
prospect of Wes Welker returning, and tabled votes and delayed decisions have
led to another week of Welker being suspended. And boy could the Noise use him
this week. Chris Ivory finds himself in the FLEX position after 18.2 points
last week, but let’s not be fooled. He got most of his yards and points on a
71-yard TD run. You can’t expect a backup RB to do that every week.
BEST BACKFIELD IN JFL?:
Fear got another double-digit performance out of Le’Veon Bell on Thursday with
his 11.7 points. Yes, it was a far cry short of his 26.9 points in Week 1, but
Fear will take it. Now, it’s up to DeMarco Murray to double up his double-digit
performances after posting 19.9 in Week 1.
JAWZ ATTACK (1-0) at REAL HOUSERVILLE (1-0)
HISTORY: Jawz
leads series 3-1.
LAST MEETING:
Jawz won 79.2-70 in Week 10 in 2013.
NOTES
WHAT ELSE CAN GO
WRONG?: Adrian Peterson. Arrested. Maurice Jones-Drew. Very questionable.
Bishop Sankey. A non-factor. Brandon Marshall. Also very questionable. For
Jawz, it’s going to be a tough week. He’s already got Jonathan Dwyer and
Brandin Cooks in the lineup, so if come Sunday night, Marshall doesn’t play,
he’ll be in a world of hurt.
POINTSVILLE: I
think the Ville is due for some serious points today. Aaron Rodgers, Julio
Jones and Michael Floyd should all put up some big totals, and I can even see
Montee Ball — man, it pains me to write this — getting a decent double-digit
performance today. And that should be enough to give him the win.
ALL EYES ON SUNDAY
NIGHT: No matter what happens during the day, it’s going to come down to
the Sunday night game. The Ville will be wrapped up after the 4 p.m. games,
leaving Jay Cutler, Marshall and Adam Vinatieri for the Attack on Sunday night.
As mentioned, Marshall’s status will play a key role in the Attack’s chances,
but so will the 49ers defense. Opening up the new stadium on Sunday Night
Football will certainly factor in and possibly limit the amount of points the
Bears offense can put up. I think we’ll know by the third quarter that the
Ville is going to hold on to go 2-0.
CHALUPA BATMAN (0-1) at PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS (1-0)
History: First meeting.
NOTES
NOT SET WITH FORSETT:
It was a tough decision, but with Andre Ellington questionable, the Steaks had
to go with Justin Forsett on Thursday, and it only led to eight points. He had
a few carries near the goal line, but he couldn’t get in. Now, the Cheese Steaks
will have to make up points elsewhere in the lineup. Perhaps newly reinstated
Dwayne Bowe can do it.
TO THE BACKUP: The
Steaks aren’t alone. Chalupa has a decision to make, too, and he looks to be
going with Toby Gerhart over Doug Martin, who is questionable for the 4 p.m.
game. Martin is expected to play, but that “IF” factor may lead to a benching.
SINCE WHEN?:
Random note. Chalupa’s kicker is Kai August Forbath. When the hell did the name
“August” get added in there. I’ve never heard anyone call him Kai August
Forbath. If Chalupa doesn’t win today, we may have to call him Chalupa August
Batman, in honor of the fact that in August, I thought he had a team that could
win the AFC East.
WHEN RIVERS MEETS A
DAM: The Seattle defense is the Hoover Dam and Philip Rivers is going to
have a hell of a time against them. Aaron Rodgers was limited big time, and I
expect most QBs to have struggles against the Seahawks defense. The only real
positive of this match is the fact that it’s in San Diego. That’s the only reason
why I can see Rivers maybe, and I mean maybe, cracking 20 points.
CHOO BIG TEEDEES
(0-1) at JERKIN’ MY KIRK HERBSTREIT (1-0)
History: First
meeting.
NOTES
THE WRONG THOMAS:
Choo may have cheered three times last week because he saw a guy with the name
“THOMAS” on the back of his jersey enter the end zone. But all three times, it
wasn’t Demaryius Thomas. I know it’s only one week, but I did say in the
previews that Demaryius was going to see a dropoff this year. Week 1’s 5.6
points was just the start. That said, if he’s going to get some big points this
year, today may be the best day for it. He had six 100-yard performances last
year, and two came against the Chiefs. That trend may continue today.
THE WRONG MANNING:
Jerk may have cheered for all three of those Thomas touchdowns, too, because he
heard Manning threw them. But, alas, it was not Eli Manning, who had only 12
points last week. Sadly, it doesn’t look promising for Manning this year. So
that means it’s time to go to the backup. But he can’t. Johnny Manziel and
Teddy Bridgewater are not playing yet.
PROMOTION TIME:
After double-digit performances last week, both Mark Ingram (Choo) and Knowshon
Moreno (Jerk) got the call to start in the FLEX and I like both to keep it
going this week. In fact, this matchup may be decided at the RB position. Frank
Gore goes for the Choo and Matt Forte goes for the Jerk. The biggest question
may be, did Choo bench his second-round pick Zac Stacy too early? It’s hard to
give up on a high pick like that — just look back to my horrible selection of
David Wilson.
Comments