The Dottsville Toasters love the Eagles, so it’s fitting his
fantasy team mimics their actions.
Twice in two weeks, the Eagles have trailed heading into the
second half, and twice they have come back and won. Last night’s win against
the Colts was quite amazing, and I can’t recall a time when I saw a
Philadelphia team come through in the clutch.
They needed a turnover to keep Indy from making a two-score
game, and they got it. They needed to drive down the field and tie the game,
and they did just that. They then needed a stop on the ensuing drive to keep
Indy from getting into field-goal range, and they forced a three-and-out. And
finally, they needed to drive down the field and score the game-winner.
Yes, that happened, too.
At 2-0, I’m feeling pretty good about my Eagles.
So are the Toasters, who also is 2-0 after completing his
second straight Monday Night Football comeback. In Week 1, all it took was a
long TD pass to Calvin Johnson. This week, it took a little bit longer, but
Darren Sproles and Trent Richardson scored plenty enough to give him a win over
division rival T-Money.
The Toasters aren’t alone in the undefeated ranks as
Houserville, Fear and Loathing and yours truly, the Jammers, are also 2-0.
Fear and Loathing is the biggest surprise after another big
point total week, fueled by his running backs and lone QB, Andrew Luck. He has
yet to add that second quarterback that will — and I had to look it up — be
needed in Week 10 when Andrew Luck is on the bye.
The 0-2 Slackers said over the weekend that I am "just lucky" — he
was bitter about getting his butt kicked — but maybe he’s right. The
non-division schedule is all picked at random, and Week 10, I play Fear and
Loathing.
I’m sure by then he’ll get a backup. I mean, he has to,
right?
And speaking of backups, the Channel 4 News Team will be
using a lot of them. My apologies.
Jimmy Jammers 112.1,
Sunday Slackers 66.2
SILENCE OF THE GRAHAM:
Can Parker doubt me anymore? He bashed my team right after the draft. He bashed
it again when Ray Rice was booted. And he bashed it again moments before
kickoff on Sunday. Then, he got bashed by nearly 50 points. It’s the second
straight time my Jammers have routed him by 45 points, and the controversial
draft strategy came through. The idea was, draft Jimmy Graham and minimize the
impact of Drew Brees. Well, Graham scored 25.8 points, Brees had 22.8. I’d say
it worked.
HYDE AND GO SEEK:
He touted Carlos Hyde as the rookie who would explode Sunday. Well, only 0.7 points
isn’t exactly an explosion. If that’s an explosion, Terrance West’s 15.4 points
on Sunday should be considered the Big Bang.
JAMMER BACKS: How
on Earth did I wind up with two RBs in the lineup against Parker? That was
never, ever the plan. But West and Darren McFadden each hit double-digits,
joining Graham, Jeremy Maclin, Dez Bryant and Andy Dalton. Each starter had a
TD and they totaled eight as a collective. Parker had just four, two from Brees
— both to Graham — and two to Alfred Morris.
GREEN MEANS NO-GO: A.J.
Green was one of many crazy fantasy injuries. He left after no catches and that
hurt Parker big time. So much so that he claimed that he would have won if
Green didn’t get injured. Losing by 46 points and with passes coming from my
QB, I’m not sure how he can even quantify that crazy statement.
Fear and Loathing
115.8, World of Noise 66.2
FEAR FOR REAL?:
It’s kind of crazy how well this lineup has come together. He has the No. 1 QB,
the No. 2 and 3 RBs, the No. 4 WR and the No. 4 TE. The duo at RB, DeMarco
Murray and Le’Veon Bell, both hit double-digits for the second straight week.
Murray has now rushed for 100 yards each week, amassing 285 yards and two TDs.
With 19.9 points last week and 22.5 in Week 2, he’s clearly a huge reason why
Fear is undefeated. His health will be key to Fear’s run toward a possible
division title.
BUSH-WHACKED:
Maybe when I asked Craig if he wanted to fix his draft mistake he should have
said yes. Reggie Bush has scored a total of just 11.2 fantasy points in two
weeks. I don’t believe this will continue, but it’s surely not the start the
Noise wanted to see.
CRYIN’ RYAN: Matt
Ryan fell apart in Week 2. From 44 points to 17, that is an RGIII-like drop.
This too shouldn’t persist, but nevertheless, it just piled on top of all the
things that went wrong for the Noise in Week 2.
TIED AVOIDED: If
the Noise would have played at the Slackers, they would have tied 66.2-66.2.
And that would have been a shame. If you score 60-some points, you should lose; not tie.
Chalupa Batman 97.3,
Philly Cheese Steaks 93.9
THE DILEMMA: Philly
Cheese Steaks is an Eagles fan, as if his name didn’t give it away. So when
Cody Parkey took the field for the Eagles to kick the game-winning field goal,
a part of him had to be looking at the fantasy score. He was trailing by 3.4
points. A Nick Foles TD, or even another 70 yards passing would do the trick.
So when the field goal was kicked and a miss would force overtime where Foles
could feasibly get those points, he had to be in a real pickle. Nevertheless,
the kick was good — twice — and Chalupa Batman bounced back big time.
WRONG WAY 'ROUND:
Remember when I wrote about Rivers running into a dam? What I meant to say was,
“Damn, Rivers!” Philip Rivers scored 33.7 fantasy points against the Seattle
defense, amassing 284 yards and tossing a trio of TDs to Antonio Gates.
DON’T BE FOOLED:
Chalupa got the win, but it wasn’t pretty. With 66.2 points from Rivers, the
Bills defense, kicker Kai August Forbath — hey, that’s the same amount Parker
and Craig scored all together — it’s a bit scary moving on. He got
single-digits once again from his FLEX, two WRs and TE. He’ll need that
change quickly.
FORCED IT WITH
FORSETT: As it turns out, the Steaks shouldn’t have made the move of dropping
Darren McFadden for Justin Forsett. The difference was 5.2 points, and that was
the difference between winning and losing this week.
Real Houserville
112.7, Jawz Attack 104.7
NEW SCREENPLAY:
It’s like the entire roster went to Amity for the weekend and half of them were
eaten by a mammoth shark. It’s a great idea for Jaws 8 or 9, or whatever
they’re on now. I mean, I has to be better than that NFL movie on Draft Day,
right? Forced to go with several backups, the Attack lost by eight points. It
was certainly a tough way to lose. Now, all he can do is look back at the draft
and wished he never selected Adrian Peterson.
SETTLING IN:
Aaron Rodgers took a week to settle in to Houserville, but with 40.8 points,
he’s proven his worth. That’s the No. 1 draft pick Houserville selected.
SUNDAY NIGHT RALLY:
Jawz got 36 points alone from touchdown passes from Jay Cutler to Brandon
Marshall on Sunday night. Altogether, Cutler and Marshall totaled 58.8 points
on Sunday, but it just wasn’t enough to come back.
WHO CARES ABOUT
DEFENSES AND KICKERS?: Well, apparently Houserville does. The Cardinals
defense and kicker Dan Bailey combined for 34.3 points for Houserville. The
Cards got a long return TD, two sacks, two fumbles, two INTs to post 15.3
points, and Bailey nailed four field goals and a pair of extra points to score
19 points.
Choo Big TeeDees
84.1, Jerkin’ My Kirk Herbstreit 76.8
UNFORTUNATE TIMING:
In a matchup that was decided by less than eight points, it’s unfortunate for
the Jerk that his RB, Knowshon Moreno, left after just 0.4 points, while Mark
Ingram scored 17 points before breaking his hand. Both owners will be without
those RBs for a while, but they each have viable RBs left on the roster.
WHY EVEN START’EM?:
Jerk got a big ZERO from Marques Colston. Zero. I mean, what could be worse?
How about the negative-0.2 points? That’s what Hakeem Nicks scored for Choo.
His one catch for negative-4 yards led to a score that made Choo wish he left
the roster spot blank. Fortunately for him, it didn’t cost him.
CAPTAIN KIRK
REPORTING FOR DUTY: Kirk Cousins scored 24.4 fantasy points Sunday and his
time has come. RGIII is down for the count and Choo officially has a backup QB.
He’ll still have to keep Colin Kaepernick as the Choo starting QB for the time
being, but he at least has a viable option if something goes wrong.
Dottsville Toasters
98.6, T-Money 76.1
HOLY SPROLEY: And
the No. 1 running back in fantasy football after two weeks is … Darren Sproles?
I knew that he’d be a big difference maker for the Eagles, but I thought that
would be in the form of a few key first downs, punt returns and perhaps a few
big TDs over the span of 16 games. Instead, he’s as pivotal as LeSean McCoy. And in fantasy, he’s had
20.3 and 26.2 points in back-to-back weeks. Toasters can only hope that this
continues, and so do I.
TRANSFORMED:
Megatron returned to Earth Sunday, scoring 9.5 points. After Week 1, we thought
we were about to see a great run to start the season. As it turns out, the
Giants just suck.
UT OH, ROMO:
T-Money is now 0-2 after getting just 14.5 points from Tony Romo. The QB had 17
in Week 1 and he’s now ranked 27th among fantasy QBs. Makes you wonder if Ryan
Tannehill or Chad Henne will get the call soon.
Team Boyer 106.3,
Graybill’s Generals 90.3
CONFESSION TIME:
I’ll admit, I was wrong about Jeremy Hill. He scored 16 points and was worthy
of a start. That said, I stand by what I said. C.J. Spiller and Mike Wallace
should be starting, not Donnie Avery and Hill. Avery scored just two points for
Boyer. Spiller had 20 and Wallace had 12.6 on the bench. Boyer was lucky it
didn’t cost him.
JORDY PARTY: Jordy
Nelson was a big reason those roster blunders didn’t hurt him. He had a field
day, scoring 31.7 points on nine catches for 209 yards and a TD. He’s ranked
No. 1 in fantasy at WR after one week,
and after his great season in 2013, I think it’s safe to say that his
second-round selection was warranted.
THE REAL McCOY:
One would think that if Darren Sproles is ranked No. 1 in fantasy at RB, LeSean
McCoy must be underperforming, but that’s not the case. He’s posted
double-digits in back-to-back weeks, including 17 points last week. The dual
backfield is really working out for both the Toasters and the Generals.
Chinese Organ Thieves
85.6, Channel 4 News Team 68.1
MURPHY’S LAW:
Man, it all went wrong for the News Team. RGIII scored 3.7 and then dislocated
his ankle. Jamaal Charles scored 1.4 and then suffered a high ankle sprain.
Both are out for a while and they picked the worst week to do it. The Thieves
had a sub-par week and this was a easy win if RGIII and Charles stay healthy
and hit their projections.
MILE HIGH TRIO:
Peyton Manning, Emmanuel Sanders and Julius Thomas all led the way again,
scoring a combined 52.8 points. If it wasn’t for the 17.3 points from the
Washington defense, it wouldn’t have been enough against a depleted News Team.
That would worry me a bit, but I have to believe that for most weeks in 2014,
he’s going to get 50 to 60 points from those three. As long as a few other players come through, he'll keep winning.
SAINT BERNARD:
Giovani Bernard had a great week. I’d trade a QB for him, but News Team is
going with Geno Smith. (Good luck.) But with Charles down and out for a while,
Bernard will play a pivotal role in keeping the News Team in the race. But, at
0-2, it’s an uphill battle. As we know, News Team isn’t afraid of 0-2. He’s
finished 8-5 after starting 0-5. Two losses don’t bother him. But when "two losses" not only depicts your record, but it also describes the status of your starting QB and RB, you may be in trouble.
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