Here we are, Week 6. It’s almost the midway point of the JFL
season, and it’s a big day for several teams.
Today could shape up how the rest of the season will look.
In the AFC, Fear, Noise, Jammers and the Jerk will all look
to extend their leads by beating teams with losing records.
In the NFC, there are a pair of 3-2 matchups that will send
two teams to the top of the conference, while the other two teams will find
themselves back at 3-3.
So, again, without much delay thanks to a hefty dose of
Nyquil — man, I feel like Drew Brees — I’m going to write these previews so I can lay on my couch all
afternoon with my iPad in one hand, tissues in another and the TV set to
Redzone Channel because the Eagles play at 8:30.
FEAR AND LOATHING
(5-0) at CHOO BIG TEEDEES (2-3)
History: First
meeting.
LUCK OF THE DRAW:
Choo is unlucky that he didn’t face the Fear last week. It looks like Choo will
hit about 100 points this weekend, but that won’t be enough against the Fear.
Last week, that would have handed him his first loss, but Andrew Luck bounced
back with 36.3 points on Thursday night, and Fear is well on his way to another
big scoring day.
WHAT WE’LL LEARN
TODAY: We will find out just how good DeMarco Murray is. As part of Fear’s
Double-Digit Duo, Murray leads the JFL in rushing, but this week, he goes up
against the No. 1 rush defense in Seattle. The Cowboys offense has been pretty
good, but any team that goes to Seattle, faces a huge challenge. Today should
be no different. But, if Murray somehow gets double-digits, we will crown him
King of the JFL for 2014.
MONDAY NINERS:
With Colin Kaepernick and Frank Gore going on Monday night, Choo will be coming
from behind for sure; it’s really just a matter of how far behind will he be. I
think we’ll see a scenario where’s he’s down by about 50 points, and the two
Niners will come up short.
TEAM BOYER (3-2) at
PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS (3-2)
History: First
meeting.
ABOVE WATER:
Somehow, Boyer left the Brady funk with a 3-2 record. After four straight weeks
of 16 points or less, Brady finally blew up for 27.8 points. Yes, that’s a
sub-par day for Andrew Luck, but Boyer will take it — especially considering
the fact that he moved to 3-2. Boyer can just hope that the Brady we saw last
week will be the one we see from here on out.
FOSTERS, PHILLY FOR
BIG LEAD: Arian Foster was among several players who had huge Thursday
nights with his 26.7 points. He ran for 109 yards and scored twice to give the
Cheese Steaks a nice lead to start out. This is now two straight 20-plus-point
performances and three overall for Foster. Now he just needs another
20-something out of Andre Ellington, and the Steaks will be looking pretty.
WILLIAMS IN, BUT…:
Terrance Williams is finally in, but it’s in a game at Seattle. At first
glance, that’s not a good matchup. But then, you think about it. Richard
Sherman will be on Dez Bryant (great)
which means the ball will be heading Williams’ way a lot more than Bryant. It
will be up to him to make the most of his opportunities.
CHINESE ORGAN THIEVES
(3-2) at T-MONEY (3-2)
History: T-Money
leads series 6-5.
Last Meeting:
Organ Thieves won 153.4-78 in Week 9 of 2013.
REX-A-SORE-OUS:
Rex Ryan might be sore tomorrow, because his team is about to get pounded. And
that means Peyton Manning, Emmanuel Sanders and Julius Thomas should be in like
for like 60-some points. Considering T-Money is slated to score just 70 right
now, I’d say the Thieves are in great shape.
PICKING UP THE JAGS:
For weeks the only defense out there was the Jags, but finally, someone picked
the poor team up to play. The Thieves will roll with the Jags defense against
the Tennessee Titans. On paper, it looks good. We’ll find out today if it was a
genius move.
TONE MONEY:
T-Money is rolling with Antone Smith, and why not, the guy has double-digits in
four out of five weeks. But the crazy thing is, he’s a big play guy. If it
wasn’t for a big play here and there, he wouldn’t be anywhere close to the
point total that he is at. But he continues to defy logic. You don’t start
players like this because they should burn you.
REAL HOUSERVILLE
(2-3) at JIMMY JAMMERS (4-1)
History: Series
tied at 5-5.
Last Meeting:
Houserville won 95.3-94 in Week 5 of 2013.
DUELING WIDEOUTS:
Sunday night will feature Houserville’s last player of the week, Rueban Randle,
and he’ll be going up against Jeremy Maclin. Randle has quietly had three
double-digit performances, but they’re nothing big to talk about. Maclin has
been more impressive with four touchdowns in five weeks. (What’s that you said,
Parker?). Against the Giants, it should be another good one for him.
CAN THEY DO IT
AGAIN?: Last week, I joked about the Eagles defense. After two more TDs,
I’m not joking anymore. This is legit awesomeness. Seven TDs in five weeks is a
trend. They may not score this week, but the numbers suggest that they will
continue to pick up big fantasy points over the final eight weeks of the JFL
season.
HARBOR WARNING:
It’s time for the Clay Harbor era because Jimmy Graham is officially out for
four weeks. Goodbye No. 1 pick. I should have gone with JimmyJam Draft Plan B,
Marshawn Lynch. But wait, he’ll be back just in time to face Parker. Nevermind.
Plan A worked.
OFF-AND-ON JACKSON:
DeSean Jackson is on this trend of little week, 20-point week, little week,
20-point week. I’m hoping it continues, but against the 31st-ranked pass
defense in Arizona, it’s not looking good. Jackson may gang up on me, pun
intended.
NOT AGAIN: Yes, I
know this is a fifth capsule, but (1) all of them were short, and (2) I had to
make this last point. After losing on a last-second Monday night field goal
last week, the Ville could face that again. With Greg Zuerlein going on Monday,
the Jammers may be in a position to kick a game-winner.
WORLD OF NOISE (4-1)
at SUNDAY SLACKERS (1-4)
History: Slackers
lead series 4-3.
Last Meeting:
Slackers won 117.2-80.7 in Week 10 of 2013.
ONLY THING WORSE:
Yes, losing to the Jammers is one of the worst things Parker can have happen to
him in a fantasy season. The only thing worse is losing to the Noise. It’s
happened three times in franchise history, which is three times too many.
Slackers, sitting at 1-4, absolutely cannot lose to him this week.
AND…: In a
must-win week, Drew Brees is on the bye. So, Brian Hoyer gets the rare start,
likely his only if Brees stays healthy. Already, the Noise is in good shape.
OLIVER TWIST: All
of a sudden, Branden Oliver is a fantasy juggernaut. I had him on my team and
he did nothing. Now, he scores 31 on Parker’s bench and he’s projected to score
17. We’ll see. I must say, if my running back situation could have been solved
through him, I’ll be quite bitter.
PICK IT UP:
Reggie Wayne was one of the few Colts to not do a thing on Thursday night. With
only 4.3 points, the Noise will have to have Roddy White and Steve Smith pick
up the slack, and they have the matchups to do just that. With the Slackers
starting Torrey Smith, it will be a Smith-Off in Baltimore.
GRAYBILL’S GENERALS
(0-5) at DOTTSVILLE TOASTERS (2-3)
History: Series
tied at 4-4.
Last Meeting:
Toasters won 109.3-84.2 in Week 10 of 2013.
RETREAT!: The
Generals are call off the troops. It’s time to come home. He raised the white
flag and announced a firesale this week, yet not a single deal was made. Is
this the “Peyton Manning, fake the kneel-down play and throw for a TD” move? Is
he thinking that he can pull of a Channel 4 News Team and go from 0-5 to 8-5?
If he does, he’s going to do it with LeSean McCoy on the bench. I’m not sure
that’s how I’d do it. McCoy’s asking price will certainly go up after tonight.
THIS COULD BE IT:
Even with McCoy on the bench, I think the Generals may get that first win this
week. His lineup isn’t all that bad, it’s just they haven’t performed up to
par. With the Toasters missing his first-round pick, Megatron, it’s very
possible. I like Golden Tate to have his third straight big week for the Lions,
and Victor Cruz should get some points in what may be a bit of a shootout
tonight in Philly. The biggest question in the Generals lineup will be Cam
Newton.
SHARK ATTACK (1-4) at
JERKIN’ MY KIRK HERBSTREIT (3-2)
History: First
meeting.
LUCK, NO LUCK:
For the Attack, it’s been weeks and weeks of frustration. He’s watched 504
points jump up on the board for his opponents and that’s why he’s 1-4. Jerk,
who has scored nearly 50 points fewer than the Attack, has watched only 378.8 points
go up for opponents — a JFL low — and that’s why he’s 3-2. With T.Y. Hilton
scoring a season-high 31.1 points on Thursday for the Jerk, all Jawz can be
thinking is, “Here we go again.”
ROAD WARRIORS: All
of the Attack’s players will be on the road today, and they all have decent
matchups, so he should be in good shape to crack 100 points. The only problem
is the fact that he’s behind after Hilton’s big day. And, including Hilton,
five of the Jerk’s players are playing on the road, too.
BEAR IT ALL: This
matchup may come down to what happens in Atlanta. Jay Cutler and Brandon
Marshall will go for the Jawz, while Matt Forte goes for the Jerks. You can
easily see what kind of game each fantasy owner is rooting for. Atlanta’s
defense is 11th against the pass and 32nd against the run. … Once again, the
matchup goes against the Attack. Maybe he should be having a General Firesale.
CHANNEL 4 NEWS TEAM
(2-3) at CHALUPA BATMAN (2-3)
History: First
meeting.
BIG MATCHUP: Both
teams sit at the bottom of their divisions, just a game out, so you can tell
that this week means a lot.
QB-OUSEL: Round
and round they go. This week, it’s back to Kirk Cousins. I was really hoping
Austin Davis would get the nod so I could do that Photoshop, but I guess I’ll
have to wait another week.
STICKING WITH HIS
GUNS: Chalupa is sticking with the projected starting lineup he had at the
season’s start, and with Jamaal Charles on the bye for the News Team, this
could be a big week for Chalupa. He’ll just need the running backs to outduel
News Team’s duo of Steven Jackson and Giovani Bernard, because when you match
these teams up, I give the clear edge to Batman. I also think the Chargers
defense will get in the end zone.
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