It was opposite week in the JFL.
Six of eight matchups featured the team with the worse
record winning. The only two teams with better records to win were the Philly
Cheese Steaks and Fear and Loathing.
For Fear, it was a huge Monday night comeback as Le’Veon
Bell scored 29.6 points to erase a big deficit and win by 2.3 over World of
Noise.
With all the “lesser” teams winning, it creates a crazy
two-week sprint to the finish.
Right now, in the AFC, Fear and Loathing has clinched the
No. 1 seed, so he can bench Andrew Luck and go with the backup for two weeks.
The Jammers holds the second seed and can clinch the No. 2
seed with a win over the Jerks in Week 12. A loss by the Jerks will throw him
into the insane mess of 5-6 teams that include Choo, Slackers, Noise and
Houserville.
Even the Shark Attack, at 4-7, has an outside shot at the
playoffs, but he needs ALL of the following to happen:
1.) Slackers lose to the Jerks, beat the Choo.
2.) Choo to lose to Jammers and Slackers.
3.) Houserville to beat Noise, lose to Fear.
4.) Noise lose to Houserville.
5.) And, of course, win out over Fear and Noise.
That’s the ONLY way into the playoffs for the Attack.
The other scenarios in the AFC are too numerous to count.
Right now, if you’re 5-6, just look at winning out as a key.
In the NFC, it’s just as messy. Boyer is guaranteed a spot
in the playoffs, but he hasn’t won the division yet as the Thieves can take it
by winning out and Boyer losing out. The News Team can’t win the division and
he needs some help to get into the fourth spot. He won’t win a tie-breaker with
any of the three teams competing in the NFC East, so he not only has to win, he
has to win one more than the top two teams left in the NFC East — unless he can
surpass the Thieves. He does own the tie-breaker against the Thieves at this
point, so if the Thieves lose one more game than the News Team the rest of the
way out, the News Team gets in. Of course, there could be a mega-tiebreaker
that comes into play if more than one of them is tied.
As for the NFC East, it’s wide open between the Cheese
Steaks, Toasters and T-Money. The Money Man has the edge in the division
record, however, he’s one game back of both the Toasters and Steaks. If he wins
out and the Toasters lose a game, T-Money gets the division crown.
Maybe next week, it will be a little easier to write up
complete scenarios. I’m guessing it won’t.
Sunday Slackers 82.7,
Jimmy Jammers 76.4
FIGURES: I made a
point to talk about how crappy my kicker performances have been this season. Those
woes continued a week ago when Greg Zuerlein had just 2 points and I thought
about dropping him and picking up someone new. But I stayed the course and
Zuerlein scored 20 points. It just figures that he was my highest scorer.
Matthew Stafford had a dud of a week, as did Jimmy Graham and the Eagles
defense.
NOT MUCH BETTER:
It was a poor week for the Jammers, but the Slackers still barely won. If it
weren’t for a 19.9-point performance by A.J. Green, his best since Week 1, the
Slackers would have still lost.
Fear and Loathing
85.6, World of Noise 83.4
POWER OF TWO:
Le’Veon Bell and Andrew Luck combined for 59.1 points. The rest of Fear’s team
scored 26.5 points. That’s disappointing for the Noise for had a fairly
balanced attack. It’s just a shame he didn’t start the Packers defense, which
had three TDs on Sunday.
WORRIED YET?: The
last two weeks have been tough for Fear. A loss and a near loss have to have
him hoping the return of his dual-back system in Week 12 will lead to some
bigger point totals.
MATTHEWS ON THE RISE:
Jordan Matthews has scored double-digits in three straight weeks, catching four
TDs during that time span — all three coming from Mark Sanchez. Clearly,
Matthews is a favorite target of Mark Sanchez.
Graybill’s Generals
91.1, Team Boyer 79.3
MAKE THAT TWO:
The Generals have now won two games! Things are starting to turn around. Well,
actually, he had the Fear approach with Cam Newton and Eddie Lacy combining for
53.5 points. The rest of the team filled in the gaps to edge out Team Boyer.
BRADY TOOK A BREAK:
I guess Tom Brady didn’t feel like working Sunday. When you see the Patriots
put up 42 points, you would think Brady would have 30-plus fantasy points. But
not this week. Brady let Jonas Gray do all the work. And that’s a big reason
why Boyer lost.
Choo Big TeeDees
83.1, Jerkin’ My Kirk Herbstreit 69.8
THREE STRAIGHT:
Man, the Jerk must feel foolish for erecting a billboard in Allentown. Ever
since that moment, he hasn’t won a game. Each week, it’s been different players
letting him down. This week, it was five-INT Eli Manning and 3-point T.Y.
Hilton. If they or anyone else lets him down in Week 12, he could fall to the
absolute bottom of the AFC East. Damn billboard.
EVERYBODY CHIP IN:
Five double-digit performances were what led Choo to the win this week. The
83.1 points weren’t anything to brag about, but he’ll take the win. It was
especially nice to see Odell Beckham Jr. hit the double-digit mark again for
the fifth time in his last six games. Mark Ingram also has done it in four
straight games since his injury. All Choo needs is his QB to get going and then
he has a chance to make a late run here.
Shark Attack 142.5,
Real Houserville 89.5
FINALLY: For
once, the Attack scores a bunch of points and doesn’t fall victim to a better
week by his opponent. With 142.5 points, that would have been hard to do. The
Attack had seven double-digit scorers, including 36.6 from Jay Cutler and 24.4
from Brandon Marshall. Even Bishop Sankey got in on the double-digit action for
just the second time this season. The Attack now holds the lead on the regular
season points title. Can he outscore everyone for the final two weeks?
HOUSE BROKEN:
Sometimes, the best trades are the ones you don’t make. For Houserville, the
McCoy deal hasn’t worked out. Hell, even if the original rejected deal had gone
through, he’d still be in a world of hurt. Now, he’s sitting at 5-6 and
fighting for his playoff life.
Channel 4 News Team
97.2, Chinese Organ Thieves 82.7
HELP NEEDED: News
Team may be searching for a 1-800 number to help him out on Sundays. He keeps
starting the wrong QB. This week, it was Andy Dalton going for 30.2 on the
bench. This comes a week after scoring just 1.8 points. Can you blame the News
Team for benching him? Now can you blame him again when he benches RGIII who
will likely score 40 points next week?
WELL, THE BRIGHT
SIDE: Despite all that QB non-sense, the News Team won, thanks to 29.2
points from Jamaal Charles. A week after I question his keeper worthiness, he
comes through in the clutch. You’re welcome, News Team.
RAMMED: The Organ
Thieves must have been beside himself watching the Broncos-Rams game unfold.
I’m sure he thought that was an easy 60-plus points for his trio, but Julius
Thomas got injured after 0.7 points. Emmanuel Sanders also left early, but that
was after he scored 19.2, and that left little for Peyton Manning to work with.
As a result, he finished with just 24.9 points. The good news for the Thieves,
Big Ben had only 15.2 this week on the bench.
Philly Cheese Steaks
112.8, Chalupa Batman 72.3
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?:
Of all the Buccaneers selected to the Chalupa roster, how did Mike Evans not
make the cut? He’s had double-digit weeks in five of his last seven contests,
and in the last three weeks, he’s had seven catches in each game and five total
touchdowns. His 209 yards and two scores gave him 37.3 fantasy points last
week. The Steaks are loving it. Meanwhile, Vincent Jackson scored single-digits
for the ninth time in 10 games.
JETS MODE?: Last
week, Mark Sanchez looked like that guy who ruined the Jets for so long. He
threw two picks and fumbled twice to absolutely ruin my week. The two TDs he
cost my defense and the short fields that led to more scores caused me to lose
to Parker. I’m not happy about that. The Steaks wouldn’t be happy either if it
weren’t for the garbage time points that led to a decent 25-point fantasy week.
One should be so lucky in such a blowout.
T-Money 75.3,
Dottsville Toasters 69.3
SAME PROBLEMS:
The Toasters and I are alike in that once again, the Lions let us down. Calvin
Johnson dropped a few passes and Matthew Stafford scored 8 points, which was
1.1 more than Johnson. So it’s easy to see why the Toasters can blame this loss
on the Lions. He can also blame it on Greg Jennings who had just one catch for
4 yards on Sunday. That didn’t help much.
RASHAD’S BACK:
T-Money got his one RB back in the lineup with Rashad Jennings playing Sunday,
but the 7.5 points were a bit of a disappointment. Nevertheless, it was nowhere
near the disappointment Ben Tate has been. He scored negative-0.9 points and
will likely no see any snaps this week after speaking out to the media. Wrong
move, Mr. Tate. Perhaps you should start running forward instead of running
your mouth.
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