JimmyJam Football League Week 9 Preview (11.2.14)

It’s a pivotal week in the JFL as the four front-runners all square off in conference battles that could have huge impacts on the No. 1 seeds for the JFL Playoffs.

In the AFC, it’s the division-leading Jerkin’ My Kirk Herbstreit (6-2) going up against the division-leading Fear and Loathing (8-0), while in the NFC, we’ll see the East’s top dog, Dottsville Toasters (5-3) meet up with the King of Spackling himself, Team Boyer (6-2).

For Fear, this could be it. He still is slated to enter Week 10, Andrew Luck’s bye week, without a backup QB, and with the well dry, he may find getting to 10-0 impossible. So, if he’s going to make his mark in the JFL record book, it’s going to be nine straight wins to start the year.

Right now, he’s already won 11 straight regular season games dating back to 2013, and he’s 15-2 dating back to Week 7 of 2013.

Fear is red hot.

But so is the Jerk, who after starting 1-2 has rambled off five straight wins to sit at 6-2, one game ahead of his division rival Jammers.

A key cog in that five-game winning streak has Matt Forte, and unfortunately for the Jerk, in the week that he faces the dynamic trio of Andrew Luck, DeMarco Murray and Le’Veon Bell.

He’s also without Randall Cobb, leaving him with Ronnie Hillman and Lorenzo Taliaferro to man the RB and RB/WR positions. It’s not a bad backup plan at all; it just doesn’t measure up to the numbers Murray and Le’Veon Bell have put up.

The Jerk will also roll with a new tight end, Tim Wright, who will take over for Jordan Cameron. I love Wright, don’t get me wrong, but this just feels like one of those moves where you bench a high-powered tight end like Cameron and he scores three TDs on your bench.

And, with me playing the Shark Attack who has The Gronk, trust me, I’m rooting for Wright. Actually, I’m more so rooting for Brandon LaFell.

But this preview isn’t about me. It’s about the Jerk. And for him, it will all be about Monday night when his QB, Eli Manning squares off against Fear’s QB. Here it is again — a key JFL matchup where the two teams’ QBs are going up against each other. The odds have to be higher than my mind can comprehend because it happens so often.

If the Jerk is trailing heading into Monday, it’s a safe bet that the Fear will move to a JFL all-time best 9-0.

In the NFC matchup of the week, there isn’t a JFL record on the line, but a two-game lead in the conference is for Boyer. With a win, he can move to 7-2 and all-but lock up a playoff spot. A loss for the Toasters could potentially drop him into a three-way tie for first if both the Cheese Steaks and T-Money win.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot on the line for these two squads.

The Toasters will luck out a bit as Boyer has to roll without his top wideout Jordy Nelson, who is on the bye. In steps Andre Johnson, and against the Eagles defense, he could get a big pass play because the safeties don’t know how to stop the big play in the final minutes of a game. (Yes, I’m still a little bitter about last week.)

The big thing for Boyer will be Tom Brady against his arch-rival Peyton Manning. Will we get a shootout? Both QBs have been throwing TDs left and right, and a shootout would be huge for Boyer.

The Toasters, however, could still survive a shootout because his QB, Russell Wilson, heads up against Oakland. If the Seahawks, at home, do not roll all over the Raiders, I will seriously question their chances to repeat. There’s no reason for Wilson and Marshawn Lynch to have bad fantasy days.

Still, the difference to me could be Jeremy Hill. Against the Jaguars, the Bengals should be routing them, and I could see Hill finishing with 12 touches for 70 yards and two TDs. That’s about 20 fantasy points and all Boyer will need to continue his run to an NFC West title.

Other key matchups include a trio of games that feature .500 teams or teams hovering just below .500.

The biggest one may be 4-4 Philly Cheese Steaks at the 4-4 Channel 4 News Team. In their divisions, falling to 4-5 could be a death wish, especially if the other teams they’re tied with win. I expect a high scoring affair in this one with the slight edge going to the Cheese Steaks. It all depends on what Arian Foster can do against the Eagles. Cheese Steaks will be in a pickle again!

In the AFC East, Choo Big TeeDees and Sunday Slackers are both 3-5 and they both head up against 4-4 teams from the AFC Middle East. With the division title slipping out of reach for the two of them — they’re both 3 games back — it’s going to be all about getting the Wild Card. And right now, the first Wild Card is owned by the Jammers who is 3-0 in the division, which means they’re also three games back of him for the first Wild Card.

In translation, there’s a good chance they’ll battling the Noise and Houserville for that final Wild Card.

In order to get it, you have to beat them.

Choo will head up against Noise, and with 23.2 points in the bank thanks to Mark Ingram, things are looking pretty good — especially considering the fact that the Noise got only 10.8 points out of DeAngelo Williams and Greg Olsen. It’s a bad bye week for the Noise and it’s looking like he’ll drop his fourth straight game.

The Slackers will take on Houserville, and he too has 24.7 points in the bank thanks to Drew Brees. The Ville is in a bit of trouble, too, with Aaron Rodgers shooting new State Farm commercials this weekend. I believe it's rumored that Rodgers is working with Jake from State Farm. Sounds hideous.

Julio Jones and Sammy Watkins are also on the bye. For the Slackers, A.J. Green is back against Jacksonville and Martavis Bryant gets a start. It’s looking good for the Slackers.

The other matchups not mentioned are T-Money vs. Graybill, Jammers vs. Shark Attack and Organ Thieves vs. Chalupa. All three teams mentioned first are playing teams with two or fewer wins, so they expect wins this week.

The Thieves-Batman matchup should be pretty sweet — not because of the idea that Batman goes up against crooks nightly — but because there should be some serious points scored on both sides. This could be the matchup where a team scores 110 points and loses.

T-Money can expect the win, but the projections favor the Generals. We’ve seen this before and the Generals remain 0-8. Can a JFL owner get a win? With 15.8 points from Cam Newton on Thursday, I’d say it’s not looking good.

And lastly, it’s Blake Bortles week for me, a.k.a., I’m relying on the rest of the team to put up some big points. Jimmy Graham started it out with 15.7 to the Attack’s 2.2 from Kelvin Benjamin. Just a few more of those, and I’ll catch that Jerk. 

Comments