The Dolphins and Jets play tonight and no one in the JFL
cares. Many in the NFL may feel the same.
Perhaps the News Team does care in that he wants that extra
win to finish the year with a winning record, but then again, maybe he wants to
lose tonight. Draft picks are on the line.
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| Come on... I had to use this photo this week. Right? |
But, with the Jets and Dolphins playing, only three teams
have players going — and those matchups are either over or do not matter, so
that means we can recap the final week.
Before we do that, though, we have to talk about the
playoffs matchups.
The Thieves, Toasters and Jammers all won their Week 13
games to improve to 8-5 and win their respective divisions. They join Fear as
the four division winners.
T-Money and the Slackers both won must-win games to get into
the playoffs and earn the fourth seed in their respective conferences.
The Jerk and Boyer both lost their Week 13 games, but
they’ll still made the playoffs as three seeds in their conferences.
The Toasters and Jammers are the two seeds, and the Organ
Thieves, by virtue of a tiebreaker, earns the No. 1 seed in the NFC. He and the
Fear will be the top dogs as we enter the playoffs.
That means, in Week 14, we have the following:
AFC Divisional
Playoffs
No. 4 Jerkin’ My Kirk Herbstreit (7-6) at No. 1 Fear and
Loathing (11-2)
No. 3 Sunday Slackers (7-6) at No. 2 Jimmy Jammers (8-5)
NFC Divisional
Playoffs
No. 4 T-Money (7-6) at No. 1 Chinese Organ Thieves (8-5)
No. 3 Team Boyer (8-5) at No. 2 Dottsville Toasters (8-5)
It also means, it’s
the first round of the JFL Postseason Challenge. The first week’s competitors
are (in no particular order):
Real Houserville
Shark Attack
World of Noise
Choo Big TeeDees
Philly Cheese Steaks
Chalupa Batman
Channel 4 News Team
Graybill’s Generals
The top four scorers next week will advance to the second
round in Week 15 to face the four losers from the JFL Playoffs.
The Shark Attack figure to be in good shape for this
competition. He nearly won the points title as heading into Week 13, the Fear,
Jammers and Attack were all within 2 points of each other. The Fear, however,
scored 136 points in a big win over Houserville to collect the points title.
It was quite the disappointment for Houserville, who even if
he won would have missed the playoffs because he didn’t have the tiebreakers
against the Jerk and the Slackers.
Andrew Luck had another huge week for Fear, scoring 54.5
points Sunday to put it out of reach. Le’Veon Bell also exploded for 33 points
and he has now scored 62.6 points in his last two games. DeMarco Murray,
meanwhile, still managed 18.5 points, despite falling short of 100 yards.
As Fear said, if he could ever start the right WR, he’d be
completely unstoppable. Kendall Wright scored 20.6 on his bench.
Believe it or not, Bell’s 33 points were not the top mark
for RBs in Week 13. That went to Tre Mason, who had 37 points for the Organ
Thieves in his huge win over Team Boyer. (Points are still being tallied through Monday night football.) The easy big win gave him the
division title. He also got another 24.9 points from C.J. Anderson who has
quickly taken over the Denver job. (Told you, Houserville. See season preview.)
He’s had 167 rushing yards and 168 in back-to-back weeks. Tre Mason hasn’t been
as explosive until this week, but this is bad news for the rest of the NFC if
the Thieves will have this kind of running attack heading into the playoffs.
T-Money will have to worry about that now after edging out
the Cheese Steaks to make the playoffs. His 91.5-88.4 sent the Steaks packing
for the season thanks to 22 points from Rashad Jennings and 20.9 from Alshon
Jeffery. The Steaks had to believe he was in good shape after Tony Romo only
scored 7.4 points, but he was doomed after Andre Ellington scored 1.2 points
and left with an injury. Surely, had he remained in the game, he would have
scored the necessary points to get him into the playoffs.
The Slackers won 115.6-95.4 over the Jerk behind 44.5 points
from Drew Brees, who threw five TDs and somehow didn’t complete a single pass
to Jimmy Graham. I guess that means he’ll go off next week.
Jerk had a decent showing, but he’s going to need a huge
output next week if he plans on beating Fear. The 95.4 points he scored this
week isn’t going to cut it.
The Jammers and Toasters also won thanks to a strong Thanksgiving Day their Lions. The Jammers actually scored 70 of his 89 points while eating/digesting turkey, while the Toasters got a hefty serving from Calvin Johnson, Russell Wilson and Darren Sproles.
Both will hope there's enough leftover for Week 14.
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