Vandelay Industries
Franchise Record:
1,133-971-325 (.533), Sixth Season
It's the model franchise. That’s what Vandelay has become. When
the minor league rules were put into play in the JLB, this is exactly what it
was intended to do. In 2010, he drafted the prospects Buster Posey, Carlos
Santana and Giancarlo Stanton. In 2012, he drafted the prospects Chris Sale and
Gerritt Cole. Later in 2012, he added Matt Harvey via waivers and turned both
Cole and Harvey into Cole Hamels last season. In 2013, he drafted Carlos Gomez
and Jose Fernandez. Altogether, Vandelay has been able to find the perfect mix
of young, upcoming stars to go with his everyday starters and many of them have
turned into the stars we all wish our prospects would be. No lie, as I type this,
Giancarlo just hit a home run in a spring training game, hammering home the
point that a lot of us missed out in that 2010 draft. It took a few years for
it all to come together, but once it did, Vandelay was unstoppable in the
playoffs, cruising to wins of 14-7-3, 18-4-2 and 20-2-2. It was dominant. I
mean, check out the pitching totals from his three-matchup run to a
championship: 234 strikeouts, 26 quality starts, 3 complete games, 18-16, 11
saves, 2.83 ERA. The offense was just as good, pounding 32 homers and driving in 126 runs with an average just around .300. It was impressive.
And it’s why he’s the preseason favorite to win it all
again.
BATS: There’s a
hole at third base, which I’m sure Vandelay will address early in the draft,
perhaps right away in that 12-13 back-to-back picks at the end of the first
round, but that’s it. He has 20-homer potential from four players, and 40-homer
potential from a fifth, Stanton, of course. RBIs, runs, stolen bases, this
lineup has it all. If healthy, it will be hard to match the offensive output
that Vandelay will produce. I mean, he had to drop Matt Kemp. That says it all.
ARMS: Health will
be key, so that means no more jumping off trucks (ahem, I’m talking to you
Chris Sale). Adam Wainwright is dealing with some health issues, and Jose
Fernandez isn’t set to return until later in the season. But if he returns in
the shape he left the sport, and all of the other guys are 100 percent, we’re
looking at a pitching staff that could rival what the Outs did last season,
especially since I think this is the year Kevin Gausman breaks out. He was
strong during Vandelay’s playoff run, logging 26.1 innings with 24 strikeouts,
two quality starts and a 2.74 ERA. Extrapolate those numbers over a full season
and the rest of the JLB is in trouble; not to mention other up-and-comers like
Daniel Norris, Jake Odorizzi and Mike Fiers. You see what I’m getting at here,
Vandelay is stacked. If he drafts a starting pitcher in the first five rounds,
I’ll be shocked.
Philly Cheese Steaks
Franchise Record:
253-185-66 (.567), Second Season
It was the run of a lifetime. From last to first, the Steaks
took over the dismal Team Suck franchise and turned it into a pennant winner in
just one season. The bye week was fun until he ran into the unstoppable
Vandelay train that pummeled him in the NLCS. Still, from where the season
started, it was a huge leap forward. Now, turn to the offseason of 2015 — a move
to grab Max Scherzer strengthened a rotation that already boasted Jon Lester
and Hyun-Jin Ryu; a move to get Masahiro Tanaka did the same, as did a move to
get Andrew Cashner. But, at what cost? Only time will tell.
BATS: Whereas the
Choo sold pitching to bolster offense, the Steaks did the exact opposite. Of
his top 10 hitters from a year ago, only Jose Bautista, Hanley Ramirez and
Victor Martinez return. (Note that Troy Tulowitzki didn’t finish in his top 10
hitting because of injuries.) Notables from that list who are gone are Justin
Upton, Daniel Murphy, Pablo Sandoval and Alex Rios. It’s also worth noting that
Jorge Soler, who in limited time batted .291 with four homers and 12 RBIs in 55
at-bats, was also traded away. Now, coming back is Dee Gordon, who provides
big-time speed, and Todd Frazier, who adds power and run production. He also
gains Prince Fielder simply by being patient with the big guy and his 2014
injury. Ramirez will slot into left once he qualifies, filling that hole, but
center field and catcher are vacant heading into the draft. Needless to say,
there are a few question marks here, but if there’s anyone who can answer them
in the draft, it’s the Steaks, who had a great 2014 draft.
ARMS: The Steaks
looked around at the landscape of the National League and knew Lester and Ryu weren’t
enough, so welcome Scherzer, Cashner and Tanaka. It’s quite the rotation if all
goes to plan. It’s even better if Carlos Martinez develops. I really don’t have
to write much here. This rotation really speaks for itself.
You’re Freaking Out
Franchise Record:
969 -720-255 (.564), Fifth Season
Bowing out in the Wild Card round had to be a bit rough,
especially considering how dominant his pitching staff was in 2014. The Outs
set four single-season regular-season JLB records last year. He blew away the
Gamblers’ 2012 mark of 1,687 strikeouts by notching 2,051 (it’s worth nothing
that both the Gamblers and Vandelay beat that 2012 mark last year with 1,792
and 1,705 strikeouts, respectively). He also stormed past the Gamblers’ 2011 record
total of 167 quality starts by posting 186. His 142 wins bested the prior
record by 13 wins and his ERA of 3.05 was leaps and bounds ahead of the Bombers
3.25 ERA from 2013. Needless to say, looking at the JLB record book, 2014 was a
dominant year for pitching all around, but the Outs benefited from it the most
posting marks that may be really tough to beat. Still, despite all the records,
he found himself finishing one measly game behind the Steaks for the pennant and lost in the
Wild Card round to the locomotive bearing the Vandelay Industries emblem on the side.
BATS: The Outs
have a few holes to fill on the offensive end, but his decision to mirror the
model franchise has and will pay off for years to come. Kris Bryant is a star
in waiting and Carlos Correa is the future at shortstop, but still a year away.
Mookie Betts looks ready to play, too, but he may have to wait due to the
crowded outfield in Boston. Add those young stars to Freddie Freeman, Adrian
Beltre, Bryce Harper, Hunter Pence, Xander Bogaerts and Josh Donaldson, and I
think you have a lineup that is primed to be a force in the National League.
Especially when Bryant comes up. That will give him three of the top five third
basemen (in my mind) in all of baseball. He’ll either go heavy at the hot
corner at UTIL, or he’ll be able to deal one for another need.
ARMS: The Outs
destroyed pitching records because of smart moves, not just last year, but in
years leading up. His move to get Madison Bumgarner from the Gamblers for an excess
outfielder was huge, and his decision to keep an unknown Corey Kluber as a
minor league was even bigger. The World Series MVP and the American League Cy
Young both joined Jordan Zimmermann, Garrett Richards, Zack Greinke and Yu
Darvish for an insanely dominant year. He knew there was no way to have all of
these guys return for 2015, so he flipped them for big-time pieces. Greinke
went for Pence and Donaldson, while Darvish went for Gerritt Cole in a deal the
Otto Parts is feeling all Handi Jerky about. Add in Michael Wacha, and that
gives him six valuable starters heading into 2015. To me, this is the best
staff heading into the draft. Vandelay has numbers, but the Outs have so much
quality with room to draft more. I’m jealous and scared.
JimmyJam Slammers
Franchise Record:
1,725-1,414-557 (.542), Eighth Season
With records that would have placed me into the American
League playoff field, I’ve found out the hard way how tough the National League
can be. Vandelay was in this exact situation in 2011 and 2012. Right now, in
the National League, fourth place is the toughest spot to land, and fourth will
be the spot everyone looks to avoid again in 2015.
BATS: Last year,
singles were the name of the game for my Slammers. Power was lacking and it
cost me dearly in many categories. Thanks to guys in power positions, like Matt
Adams at first, who hit .285 and hit a bunch of singles (Captain Singles, a
nickname that many of you knew), I was able to set new JLB single-season
records in hits with 1,559 and singles with 1,033. That didn’t help much
elsewhere, though, which is why some power was added with Anthony Rizzo, Nelson
Cruz and Wil Myers. Together, in the positions they will sit, they are
projected to hit 51 more homers than the three guys who previously started in
their positions. Add that to players like Jose Altuve, Andrew McCutchen, J.D.
Martinez and Salvador Perez, and there’s some balance finally to the Slammers
lineup.
ARMS: Everyone
knows I love pitching, and I’ll admittedly say, I do not have the ace duos or
trios that many of the National League boast. Nevertheless, David Price and
Chris Tillman forge a strong duo (you’ve all read, or should have read, my
piece on Tillman), and Nate Eovaldi could be a surprise in New York, but
admittedly, he has some work to do. Meanwhile, Dallas Keuchel and Chris Archer
both have front-line potential. Keuchel had a 2.93 ERA in 200 innings on a bad
Astros team, and this year, he’ll be on a much improved Astros team. Archer had
a 3.33 ERA, including a 2.77 mark over his final 24 starts. I expect great
seasons from both, so it’s possible I can at least contend with the pitching
from the Outs, Steaks, and Vandelay. I’ll just need a little luck to get that
Kluber breakout from someone.
Steroid.ERA
Franchise Record:
393-447-144 (.473), Third Season
The year is finally here. When Steroid.ERA joined the JLB,
he knew he had some work to do to build his franchise, and in his first season,
he went 181-228-71 and finished last. In 2014, he added 31 wins, finishing
212-219-73, finishing just a few games out of fourth place. Now, he wants to
take that next step, and like the Steaks, he identified what it takes in the
National League, acquiring Johnny Cueto and Zack Greinke in offseason deals.
Now, he just needs to see if it translates into another 20-plus wins and a
playoff spot.
BATS: Steroid.ERA
made some interesting offseason moves to build an almost intact lineup heading
into the draft. All he’s missing is an every day shortstop, but something tells
me he won’t wait too long to address that. Speed is the key for Steroid at this
point. With Billy Hamilton, stolen bases should be his to win on most weeks,
and if he’s slumping, Steroid has five other players with double-digit steal
potential. That also means runs should be a good category for him. He only has
three 20-home run guys, and that’s padding Alex Gordon’s 19 homers a year ago
to make it three. He’ll need to address homers and RBIs in the draft.
ARMS: You can’t
blame Steroid for going after front-line starters. Looking at the Outs and
Vandelay, it’s a must. Then watching the Steaks bolster his staff, it became
even more pertinent. That’s why he added Cueto and Greinke to go with King
Felix. It’s a great trio to have, but I do worry about injuries with Cueto and
Greinke. In Los Angeles, Greinke pitched 202 innings last year, and he should
be fine, but he had a little bit of an elbow issue in camp, and that’s a bit
scary. Nonetheless, I imagine he’ll be fine and he and King Felix will be a
great 1-2 punch. Cueto is my biggest worry. He hasn’t put together back-to-back
30-start seasons since 2009-10, and after 217 innings in 2012, he had on 60.2
in 2013 before piling up an NL-most 243.2 regular-season innings last year.
Sixty to 243 is a huge jump that scares me. If he can duplicate it again this
year, by all means, call him an ace. But I think he needs to do that first
before he qualifies in my book. The other problem with the Steroid pitching
staff at this point is that it’s lacking depth. Alex Wood is a decent fourth
guy, but Jon Gray is not ready to pitch in the Majors and he’s the fifth and
final starter on this roster. Steroid will need a strong draft to compete with
the four teams that finished above him in 2014.
Chief Otto Parts
Franchise Record:
893-778-273 (.530), Fifth Season
I’m sure David sat around a lot last summer just laughing. I
mean, it’s really all you can do when you’re the hard-luck loser over and over
and over. I won’t run through the stats, but go back and look at the recaps
from 2014. Otto Parts just ran into the gauntlet schedule-wise. He’s hoping the
magic hat filled with numbers treats him better in 2015, because really, how
does a team with Miggy, Cano and Trout miss the playoffs?
BATS: Well, I
just mentioned three of the big bats in the lineup, and Otto Parts did a great
job at adding Jason Heyward, a guy I like to have a good season in St. Louis.
He hopes to get Matt Wieters and Manny Machado back strong from injuries, as
well as a resurgence from Elvis Andrus, who has struggled since making the
All-Star team in 2012. Power and speed, Otto has it all. If he fails to make
the playoffs, I doubt it will have to do with these guys.
ARMS: It may have
to do with these guys. Last year, at the deadline, sitting in sixth place and
clearly missing out, Otto made a really smart deal, sending Cole Hamels for
Matt Harvey and Gerritt Cole. He made a bit of a mistake, sending Cole away for
Darvish. Obviously, you can’t predict Tommy John, but nevertheless, the
controllability of Cole (1.111 experience) was one of the reasons he traded Hamels to get him. It was
surprising to see him dealt for Darvish, who made two trips to the DL in 2014.
And, it cost him. Nevertheless, he bounced back to get Lance Lynn to add to the
mix with Matt Harvey, Julio Teheran and Matt Cain. Certainly, there are
question marks, but there’s also potential. James Paxton and Jameson Taillon
also provide hope for down the line. I imagine he’ll address the starting
pitching need right away with that No. 2 overall draft pick.
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