The draft is coming fast, and it will come even faster for
me when Baby J is born.
How will I ever study?
Hell, how will I ever write all the previews and recaps?
That is the question, and the answer right now is, I’m going
to try. As of right now, I feel like I’m going to mesh the weekly recaps and
previews into one single Jargon story. A lot of times, I feel like I’m being
repetitive anyway, so I think it will be better (and funnier) if I recap the
week that was while also previewing the week upcoming.
And who knows. Maybe I’ll get garrulous with my hands and
type out an extra story. We’ll see.
No matter what, though, my goal is to keep the Jargon going
weekly!
I just hope my fantasy team doesn’t suffer.
After a lousy 2012 season where I went 3-10, I’ve bounced
back to win back-to-back AFC East titles and add to my JFL record seven
division titles.
Why am I touting JFL records? No, I’m not bragging. It’s
just that time of year. The grand 58-page JFL Record Book is out, and that was
just one of the many records I had to update. CHECK OUT THE JFL RECORD BOOK HERE
The Organ Thieves also won a division title last season to
stay in second place all time with five division titles, while the Toasters
moved into a four-way tie for third with his third division title last season.
The Thieves, of course, have left us after nine great years,
leaving us with eight teams from the original 10 who launched the JFL in 2006.
That’s right, 2006. We celebrate the 10th Anniversary of the
JFL this year, so maybe I’ll bake a cake or something. I’d let Fear and
Loathing have a piece, but after last year’s Super Bowl performance, I’m afraid
he’d choke. #ZING
Fear had the best QB in the JFL last year in Andrew Luck,
and he cracked the Top 10 all-time single-game scoring list with his 54.5
points in Week 13. It was good enough for sixth place all time, but it’s a
shame that it was the last big week Luck would have for him.
Real Houserville also posted a top 10 performance, ranking
fifth all time with Aaron Rodgers scoring 57.5 points in Week 10.
No running backs cracked the top 10, while only one WR did,
landing at No. 8. Demaryius Thomas got Choo Big TeeDees on the board with 39.2
points in Week 5.
The big records were broken at tight end as Rob Gronkowski,
playing for Jawz Attack, set the new TE record, blowing away the old record of
29.2 points with 36.7 points in Week 8. Julius Thomas, for the Thieves, also
scored 29.8 to land at No. 2 overall on the list.
A pair of kickers cracked the list, too, but, I mean, their
kickers. Leave them for Noise to draft in the fifth round.
And lastly, Dottsville’s negative-7 points by Rex Grossman
remains the all-time worst performance. (You’re welcome, Dots.)
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