In the NFL right now, there are numerous teams
that boast 0-2 records who most people predicted would be 2-0 at this point, or
at the very least, 1-1.
Being 0-2 was not imaginable.
But here we are, heading into Week 3 with the
Eagles, Saints, Lions, Rams, Colts, Ravens, Texans and Bears sitting at a
surprising 0-2.
In the JFL, there is an equally as surprising
team sitting at 0-2, and that’s Team Boyer.
When you have a QB who is currently averaging 39
points a week after two contests, you don’t expect to have a loss, let alone
two.
But that’s where Team Boyer sits.
Tom Brady put up 38.1 points in Week 1, and the
rest of the team failed to get Team Boyer past 88.9 points. This week, Brady
compensated and scored a few more points, posting 40.6, and the Spacklers as a
whole scored just 71.9 points.
Yes, 40.6 for Brady; 31.3 for the other six
positions. He must be one sad QB.
Brady has accounted for 48.9 percent of the
Spacklers’ points and he’s certainly going to need that percentage to drop. The
QB score can remain the same, but the percentage has to go down to 30 in order
for him to get that first win.
This week, he almost had it but the Graybill’s
Generals got a huge Monday night second half from Donte Moncrief, who had 7
catches for 122 yards and a TD (19.6 points) to forge a comeback and win
81.7-71.9.
That moves Graybill to 2-0, but it’s a cautious
2-0 after both Ryan Tannehill and Eddie Lacy injured their ankles in Week 2. He
has a big matchup against the News Team (1-1) and a win would go a long way
toward letting the rest of the JFL know that the Generals are for real.
AFC EAST POW-WOW COMING
As you may have seen in this week’s ESPN press
conference from the JFL, the Jammers moved to 2-0 with a big 91.1-75.1 win over
the Sunday Slackers. Larry Fitzgerald provided the hammer with his three-TD day and 30 fantasy points.
But that would not have been enough to beat the
Jerk, who took down Choo 96.2-88.3. The Jerk couldn’t go wrong in Week 2 as six
of seven starters posted double-digits, and the lone exception was a 9-point
kicker. He also had four double-digit performers on the bench and could have
amassed more than 115 points this week with the right lineup.
Still, what he had was enough to beat Choo.
Now it sets him up for a big early season
showdown in the AFC East against the undefeated Jammers, who also could have
had nearly 115 with the right lineup.
Last year, the Jammers beat the Jerk in a close,
low-scoring affair in Week 3, and the Jerk returned the favor with a convincing
win in Week 12 that pushed him into the playoffs. Jerk would have won the
division had he won the first meeting as well, so he knows all too well how
important this matchup will be.
He could get a boost from Arian Foster, but it’s
not certain whether he’ll return. Even without him, Mark Ingram is ranked 12th
among fantasy backs and David Johnson is No. 3 — although, the majority of
Johnson’s production has come off of kick returns and one big pass play as he
has only five rushes for 42 yards and a TD. Take away the 108-yard kickoff
return TD and the 55-yard TD catch and you’ve got yourself a less than mediocre
back at best.
With or without Johnson, the real problem spot
is still Teddy Bridgewater. He’s ranked 30th in fantasy and he’s not a threat, averaging 16.9 points per game. That will be where this matchup is lost for the
Jerk.
BETTER THAN DEAD
World of Noise went from Fear the Walking Dead to Breaking
Bad in one week’s time, if we
were to compare TV shows to the Noise’s fantasy team output.
In Week 1, he was embarrassed scoring a JFL
modern-era-worst 56.3 points. (Grant it, when we start records over, that’s
easy to set as T-Money posted just 45.3 this week.)
Then, in Week 2, he exploded for the new
modern-era-record-high 110.9 points in a win over Jawz Attack, who managed a
decent total of 92.8.
Brandon Marshall and Calvin Johnson were the
catalysts this week, followed by the Browns defense, which scored 21.5 points.
He also got 19 points from his seventh-round kicker, which completely makes up
for the four points he had a week ago.
DO YOU LIKE CHEESE ON YOUR CHALUPA?
Cheese didn’t have the greatest week, scoring
just 57.8 points, thanks to his Eagles Sam Bradford, Eagles defense and Cody
Parkey.
So, what does he do?
Why, of course, he went and grabbed another
Eagle via trade, bringing in Jordan Matthews.
We’ll see how that works. Normally too much of
one team is a bad thing. We saw that with the Chalupa last year when he was
heavy on the Buccaneers. He wound up going 3-10.
He fixed that this year and he started 2-0.
But as if that wasn’t good enough, he’s added
the Buccaneers defense and traded Matthews for Mike Evans.
I’m sure he’s two weeks away from adding Jameis
Winston and Doug Martin, and then three weeks away from a losing record.
That could start with this week’s Eagles vs. Bucs
matchup. Oh, I’m sorry, I read that wrong, Cheese Steaks vs. Chalupa.
SUPER BOWL HANGOVERS
Both Fear and Loathing and T-Money are not
having the 2015 season they wanted.
T-Money lost his second straight matchup this
week, and it was a costly one as Tony Romo went down with another broken collarbone.
And for a good as the season started last year
for Fear, it has been quite the opposite for his franchise QB. Andrew Luck’s
Colts are 0-2 and he’s only scored 42.9 points in two weeks, tossing five picks
and losing a fumble, while only throwing three TDs.
But Fear isn’t worried, is he? I mean, Luck had
such a good year in 2014 we easily forget how it started. The Colts went 0-2 to
start last year, as well, and Luck had five TDs and three INTs in those two contests.
Then, he took off with back-to-back four TD performances.
A-PLUS FOR AP
Last year, Fear had the dream team RB tandem.
This year, Houserville thought he had that, but
he was dogged by me in the preseason and then Adrian Peterson had a rough Week 1.
All is well in Week 2, though, as Jamaal Charles
had 17.5 points and Adrian Peterson had 18.6. It helped him easily beat Fear
who only scored 59.3 points.
Houserville has to be a bit worried scoring only
75 points after posting 64 the week before. His 139 total points are
second-worst to T-Money, and he’ll have quite the matchup this week against the
loud and boisterous World of Noise, who scored 110.9 points last week.
I’m sure that’s all he’ll talk about all week as
he gears up for this matchup.
Well, maybe not all he talks about. I’m sure at
some point on Friday he’ll cry about not reading a Week 3 preview.
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