I demand a recount. I will not concede my Week 10 loss until
all stats have been re-evaluated and logged by ESPN.
I still think there are some absentee ballots and some hanging chads that will deliver me a well-deserved victory.
If Wolf Blitzer isn't ready to call it, then I sure as hell ain't giving up.
And that's why Thursday is a big day.
It’s when ESPN releases its stat
corrections for the week. Typically it’s a few kick return yards here, a
corrected fumble, or a reception given when it should have been a rush — and
changes like that don’t really account for much in JFL matchups.
But when the final score is 84.2-84.1, it could make all the
difference between winning and losing.
Let’s face it, though. It’s a pipe dream. It’s not
happening, and right now, thanks to Seattle media, I’m at 5-5 and just barely
hanging on to that fourth playoff spot in the AFC.
Dawson clinched a division title by moving to 9-1, the JFL’s
best record, with a rout of Jerk, 129.8-55.9. Adrian Peterson, of course,
scored 31 points to go with Eli Manning’s 32, and Brandin Cooks had 25.9.
Sidenote time. Did you know the Ville had his whole draft
strategy thrown off and his plan was to get Peyton Manning? Man, what a lucky
SOB.
OK, back to the blowout of Jerk, because it could have been
even worse with some of the points on Houserville’s bench, and it couldn’t have
gotten any better looking at Jerk’s bench.
Jerk is now 8-2, with just a two-game lead on the AFC East
after Choo won his third straight game. And, of course, the schedule is set up
just right with the Choo getting a chance to cut it to one game with two to go.
And it’s not going to be easy for the Jerk, as Choo scored
93.2 points last week, the sixth time he’s scored 90 or more this season. He’s
the League’s highest scorer and he has the slight edge on Houserville for the
2015 points title.
Choo scored 88.3 against the Jerk the last time they played
and it wasn’t enough, so Jerk can clinch the division with a win this week.
Choo can clinch a playoff spot with a win, as well as a few
other scenarios since head-to-head tie-breakers are on his side against both
World of Noise and Jawz Attack, who trail him by two games and both play each
other.
Fear and Loathing and Sunday Slackers are eliminated. I
know. Shocking.
In the NFC East, the Chalupa hasn’t wrapped up the division
yet, nor has he clinched a playoff spot at 7-3, but he’s a win away from
locking up the playoff berth with some help. Chalupa handed the Bombers a solid
defeat at 117.5-71.1, and it would have been closer had Big Ben started for the
Bombers.
But how was he to know that Landry Jones would go out?
The compound that unfortunate loss, Big Ben threw to Antonio
Brown 10 times for 139 yards and 2 TDs (31.9 fantasy points). Brown now has
65.9 points in two weeks, and he’s ranked No. 1 in the JFL at WR. Certainly
worthy of that No. 2 overall pick.
The Toasters got five double-digit scorers in an 89.6-69.6
win over Boyer to remain a game behind the Chalupa, while the Cheese Steaks
managed a low-scoring win to remain two games back with a huge matchup against
the Toasters this week.
The NFC West is wide-open and even Nikish (FYI, you lost,
oh, and another sidenote, you lost to Kirk Cousins alone 42-40.5) has a chance
at the playoffs at 3-7. It’s a slim one, but hey, live to see another day.
Both the Bombers and Boyer are 5-5, while Graybill is 4-6 in
the NFC West, and we could see an ugly team win this division.
The three teams in the NFC East with .500 or better records
love the sound of that.
OK, time to go to bed and wake up early to see those stat
corrections. I can’t wait to be tied with Choo at 6-4!
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