Well, Thursday was a failure, Jargon-wise.
I had the following written and it was almost ready to go,
but then, I cut my daughter’s finger off.
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| STAR WARS: THE JARGON AWAKENS I have a reason to the left for why the Jargon didn't get posted Thursday, but the fact is, I had plenty of time to write on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Instead, I was flying and running around the galaxy. It's like I'm 8 years old again, except instead of little plastic X-wings, I'm flying amazing star-fighters in the most unfathomable graphically designed digital universe. |
OK, that’s an exaggeration, but while clipping her long finger nail that kept clawing at my face, she squirmed, I snipped, and took a bit of skin.
Blood was all over. I was a bit worried, but alas, it’s Friday, her finger is
fine and I’m back at my computer.
Sadly, I wrote the following with a Thursday angle, so,
well, just jump in your time machine and act like you’re reading this Thursday
morning.
…
It’s Turkey Day! You know, that day where I used to do a
special preview for the day of fantasy football.
Now, thanks to the NFL making every Thursday an NFL day,
this isn’t as special.
The Eagles play again, after going more than two decades of
no Thanksgiving Day (I’m saying day, not that silly night game they played
against the Cardinals a few years back) games, now they play on back-to-back
years.
And what better way to celebrate family than have the
dysfunctional Eagles play the dysfunctional Lions (after note… turns out the Lions aren’t all that dysfunctional anymore.)
Two teams I had winning divisions this year, and they both look like turkeys my
mom made — dried out and an absolute choking hazard.
I just hope no one puts Chip Kelly in an awkward situation
today, you know, like asking whether he would like the dark meat or light meat.
In the JFL, there are many questions left as numerous
playoff spots are on the table next to the salty Houserville who locked up the
AFC’s top seed a week after claiming the AFC Middle East crown. He beat Fear
and Loathing to move to 10-1, something Fear did last year. Quite the contract
in 2015 as Fear is 3-8 and looking toward 2016.
Chalupa also locked up a playoff spot after sneaking past
T-Money 56.3-55.8 last week to move to 8-3, and he can claim the NFC East with
a win this week.
Despite losing, Jerk clinched a playoff spot as World of
Noise, the fifth and final contender for four spots in the AFC, can’t win
enough games to surpass the Jerk.
With Houserville locked into the No. 1 seed, the Jerk can be
anywhere from No. 2 to 4, while the Choo, Jammers and Noise battle for the two
other spots.
Noise needs to win out, and he’ll get help either way as the
Choo (7-4) and Jammers (6-5) meet up, but he’ll be rooting for the Choo having
the tie-breaker against the Jammers. (Looks
like the Jammers got quite the upper hand on Turkey day.)
Jawz, Fear and the Slackers are all eliminated.
In the NFC, News Team and T-Money are eliminated as well,
but six teams are fighting for six spots and no one is locked into anything
yet. … And there are still far too many scenarios to even try to list them.
The log jam got tighter after last week as Philly Cheese
Steaks beat NFC East division rival Toasters to even their records at 6-5,
while Graybill did the same against Boyer creating a second-place tie in the
NFC West at 5-6.
The Bombers won a very low-scoring affair to take the slim
one-game lead on the NFC West. A win this week, coupled with a loss by Boyer would
lock up the division title and the No. 2 seed if Chalupa wins.
That’s all I got this week. Star Wars Battlefront has taken
up a large chunk of the time when Lily is sleeping. Can you blame me? Have you
seen that game? It’s ridiculous.
In fact, Lily just starting napping, which means it’s time
to destroy the Empire.
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